I dropped my BACON SANDWICH!

It wouldn't have been so bad if it had just fallen. I would have just picked it up and eaten it and went about my business. Five second rule, right? But no, Otis smelled the bacon from his nap time spot and sat and waited... Sure, I threw him a piece of bacon, but I guess it wasn't enough...
That little shit made off with my sandwich and by the time I caught up with him, he had choked down the whole friggin' sandwich on the run! That's not the part that made me so sad, although it was bad enough that he made off with and ate my friggin' sandwich... It was cleaning up all the subsequent Otis Butt, liquid projectile from all the grease and fat.... Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad....