Monday again?

Didn't we just HAVE a Monday, like a little while ago? Why do Mondays have to come so fast? And so often? I'm just saying... Yeah... It's one of those...

Did you just threaten me? Yeah... I'm not feeling it...

It's cute or pathetic (I'm not quite sure where I stand yet) seeing the most non-menacing people trying to deliver a serious threat.
I had the school call me regarding my son's "bullying incident" at school. My boy had pointed out his attacker to a friend of his when they were walking down the hall just because he was curious to see who it was... Friend ended up spitting on attacker's jacket... Not nice. Funny... But not nice. I understand WHY friend wanted to do it, but still... So I get the call... Apparently, THAT would be considered "collusion" and that falls under the "bullying" category... Are you fucking serious?
It wasn't "collusion" when a group of boys chased my kid, tripped him with a chair, tackled him, punched him in the gut, and tossed him down a flight of stairs all while telling each other NOT to let my boy get away... But my kid telling his friend who pushed him down the stairs and said friend spitting on the the kid's jacket is collusion.
End result? Well, I wouldn't want to allow my son to be punished for bullying in their school, would I? That's the best they have? I'm supposed to say, "Oh, well gosh! I should drop this whole thing!" ... Yeah. I'm not feeling it.

Ah...

My time spent with my Lucky has been nothing short of amazing. It has nothing to do with anything but the quality of time that we've been spending with each other. It's not all about the violating the snot out of each others' personal space(although quite enjoyable), but we are finding that living, loving and laughing and being completely immersed in the moments we are together has been... Nothing short of life altering. Filling our lives with the positives instead of wallowing in the negatives especially when it comes to us moving forward and following the path of the rest of our lives has been a slow process. We still have our moments of self pity and negativity, but they are becoming so trivial. We are coming to find that instead of lamenting the things we don't have, we should be celebrating the things that we do. Instead of worrying about the people who don't matter, we have filled our lives with those who do. Instead of concentrating our energies on hating and being angry, we surround ourselves with love and laughter and life. He has his bad days and so do I, but with the love and support that we give each other and the same love and support that we are receiving from friends and family, moving forward doesn't seem so hard to do any more. How weird is that?
It's been such a strange journey, getting to this point. It took quite a bit of effort and some deep down soul searching, a painful excursion, by every definition, but I'd rather pave this new path in positives to keep moving forward than negativity.
There are so many people that I have to thank for this new realization. Some are rather unexpected really, but in seeing what I don't want to be, it makes it easier to see what I DO want to be.
I am chugging along... August 2011 is coming up fast... I've given myself a deadline to see where I'm going to be by then and regardless of what the outcome, there is plenty that I can honestly say, "You know what? Mission accomplished!" and I'm okay with that. Moving forward does feel good. :) Thanks for coming with me, Lucky! XOXOX

Huh?

There are times when I sort of listen in on conversations simply because there's nothing else to do. Sometimes, the conversations are about politics where I may agree with something someone said or they start some idiot's rant about how our president is doing a great job with his hope-y, change-y shit. Sometimes the conversations have to do with a movie or a tv show... Stuff about things in the tabloids, something in the newspapers (sometimes, it's the same difference really... Just sayin'...). It could be about anything, but regardless of what it is, CONTEXT is kind of important.
Sitting down in a dentist's office waiting room, a woman was on her cell. There really was no avoiding hearing the conversation. She was loud and right there. Great...
So her end of the conversation was something like this...
"So if you put it in and leave it there, it won't work.  If you put it in and just move it around, sometimes it works. If that doesn't work, take it out and put it in again. Just keep doing that until something different happens... You'll see what I mean!"
I guess I was looking at her all weird and she said to me, "Oh, I'm talking to my son..." 
I raised up my hands in the universal, "I don't want to know, I don't need to know..." gesture and went to see about how much longer my daughter and I were going to have to wait in the waiting room.
"Well, I'm sorry your girlfriend is getting bored... Are you doing what I'm telling you?"
I wanted to do the "plug my ears and LA-LA-LA!", at this point...
"Well, what do you mean it 'feels funny'? Get your brother to help you out with it! He knows what he's doing! He's done it hundreds of times! Or better yet, let him do it. You can watch and you'll know how to do it next time..."
I wanted to climb up a wall or just go running out of there with my daughter in tow and just never go back.
"Well, do you feel it? ...It should go in... Where are you trying to put it? ...Well, try the other one!"
I'm singing songs with my daughter at this point. Loudly AND badly... It was wrong. American Idol's worst were even offended, but it was all I could do...
I went in for the appointment before I had to hear any more. Thank GOD! I'm going to tell myself that it was something like a tv plug or a cable wire or something and KEEP telling myself that it was something benign like that... The alternative is just too disturbing...

Wii time...

The Wii is one of the coolest and most addictive thing on the face of the planet... I don't care what anyone says... It's just fun. There are certain games on the Wii that are just plain good ol' fun.
Getting up out of your  seat and playing a video game? Shyah! Great fun! We've been Wii-ing for a few years now. Just Dance had been a great one! Trying to dance like the people on the game? Good times! Nothing like getting a bunch of people together to look like idiots doing super silly dances, although we got the occasional ringer who actually DID know how to dance in the mix, screwing up the feng shui of the spazzing out the rest of us were doing...
Simple games like Wii bowling and Wii baseball and Wii carnival games? Well, surviving the winter in New England and the weather just WON'T permit one to go outside and play, I guess the next best thing is pretending to play some outdoor games... Sure it's better playing outside and running around in the sunshine and crap, but you know what? The Wii is fun.  That's right. I said it. It is FUN!
Watching the kids Guitar Hero is always great fun... Them rockin' out to tunes that I loved in my youth... It was TOTALLY amusing to see a 4 year old with a guitar/ remote kickin' ass on Walk This Way or Rock You Like a Hurricane...
The kids have learned about respecting "the clobber zone" and to stay well away from it, making them more aware of what's going on around them. And of course, we've learned the all important lesson of making sure that the straps are securely around the wrists at all times! I don't think grandma's porcelain bunny is ever going to be the same though... Oops...

Mo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-om!

The pre-teen still has moments where he seems less than pre-teen-like and more four-year-old-esque. Oh, don't get me wrong, he'll still brood and throw temper tantrums and stomp around... Wait... Four-year-olds do that too...
Anyway, he was sitting on the john the other day, lights off, door ajar... Naturally, I didn't think there was anyone in there when I went in to put the freshly laundered towels into the linen cabinet... The high pitched squeak that he emitted was funny. Then,
"Mo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-om! I'm POOPING!"
Cheese and crawl kid! Shut the door next time! And light a freakin' match, will ya?

Because I said so!

Who hasn't used this line at one point with their kids... When all else fails and logic seems to escape the child and no amount of explanation can get the understanding needed to make sure that the child understands it was their bad...
What other recourse is there?
I know that the pre-teen is going through a period in his life where he is trying to feel out his own and become a true individual, making his own rules and living his own life, but still... There are certain things that, as a parent, you still need for them to understand. First and foremost, "I am the parent and you will do as I say, ding dang it!"
Mine certainly does not understand it. He will rebel at every opportunity. I guess it's just a thing. What can I say? I will still try and remain as steady and true and try to be as constant and consistent as possible. Some day he will come to understand and maybe even appreciate the effort I put in to make sure he grows up straight and strong... Right? :)

And I though I was an idiot...

There are times when I question my own intelligence... I've done stupid things and thought back on the moment and said, "Wow! THAT was stupid!" But then there are times when I come across people that make me look like a super genius. I mean Ultimate Super Villain type super genius.
Rich, poor, cultured, uncultured, good, bad, well educated, or not... Stupidity is something that does not discriminate. Hey! Just take a look at the government officials that we have in office all across the country or stop by your local grocery store... Idiots can be anywhere.
Now, this is probably something that I give way too much thought to... (No! Not you Mia! You don't ever do that!) Yeah, yeah I do. I know that there is a certain type of hopeless futility in trying to reason out WHY people are so fuckin' stupid. There is also a certain sinking feeling that comes with the realization that these morons are everywhere. If I just stuck to finding amusement in watching the stupidity occur, I might be okay. If I gave no thought to anything other than watching, thinking, "Ha ha! That was funny!", pointed and laughed and went about my merry little way, I wouldn't be half as frustrated about the amount of stupidity in the world. Yeah... Still working on the whole "I can change myself for the better, not everyone else" thing and learning to set the proper example instead of being claimed by the stupidity that people tend to get sucked up into. I have enough on my plate and there's plenty of room in the garbage heap to scrape the unnecessary bits off of my plate to make room for the positives that I am striving for. Although I don't think I'll ever be able to NOT find amusement in the stupidity of others and the stupid things that they do. It's a thing with me...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Dearest Lucky,
Happy Valentine's day, My Sweet Puppy Guts! I love you to tiny little bits and pieces that squish! XOXOX
With love,
Your Kitten Puddles
Always

GTFO!

There are certain days when I wish I could just hire someone to follow me around just to tell people to get the fuck away from me or get the fuck out of my way.Just for a day. It would certainly save me a lot of grief and hassles as well as the frustration of having to do it myself. Then to top it off, there is a certain degree of entertainment watching someone getting told off by someone else... There was this one time where I watched someone telling himself off, but that's probably a whole different KIND of post all together. It was entertaining, amusing and disturbing all at the same time...
If I had the designated GTFO-man by my side, I could go about my business and have the frustration handled by someone else. I guess since I don't have a GTFO-man, I'll just have to do it myself. I guess there is a certain satisfaction to handling my own battles by myself. <Sigh!> Just another something I gave way too much thought to... Really.

Not a morning person...

I've been spending time in the morning before everyone else gets up as "contemplation time". It's dark and quiet and it gives me the opportunity to sort out my shit before the day begins. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be a lazy sack sometimes and stay in bed and have the only exercise I get for the day be rolling around in the bed to find another comfortable position to fall back asleep in. It's getting a little bit easier to do mornings because I actually get to ENJOY the first cup of java instead of slugging it down between periods of chaos...
Nope, I still wouldn't consider myself a "morning person" and I doubt that I will ever become one, but I guess it doesn't have to be so bad...

Long weeks...

Seven days makes up a week... I know that... But there are weeks that seem to drag on forever and the weekend just doesn't come soon enough. This has been especially true with the rotten weather we've been getting this past winter. Never know what the day is going to bring. It makes it difficult to schedule anything for the kids and myself when the weather becomes a huge factor. Rearranging a schedule for five can be daunting when the schedule is sometimes crammed full. Then it becomes a matter of having a week where the weekend can't come soon enough AND there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish all the things that need to be done. How does that work, you ask? I don't even know myself.
When it's all said and done and everything that needed to be accomplished for that week is done and I look back on the week, it never seems so bad. I don't get how that works either. Somehow, I get through it though and I guess that's what matters. I got the shit done.

Cheese and crawl!

Oh, the drama!
Living with a preteen is melodrama at its best. Everything is a cause for mood swings, brooding, pouting, stomping around and ultimately storming to the bedroom and slamming the door shut, then plugging into the iPod or the whatever and listen to broody, cranky preteen music and whine about the injustices of life. Good times. I've gotten a lot better at gauging the different levels of pre-teen angst and I can read the different stages of where on the brood-o-meter we are almost at any given time... I'm still waiting for the secret decoder ring and manual though... Sure could use it...

Just giggle and smile...

It's always great to be able to point out someone else's stupidity without saying a word. The giggle and smile says all. They know. You know. And both parties acknowledge that the other knows they know. Good times.
At a parking lot the other day, I was parked next to some idiot. We were both unloading the carts and putting our groceries into our cars. I couldn't fit any more into the back of my car and the cart guy was going around collecting carts. So, I closed the back door and started to push the cart towards the guy collecting the carts. The moron next to me went off on a tirade saying that I was stealing his cart and taking the rest of his groceries. I gave him the standard "WTF are you talking about?" look.
(And of course, I'm a "stupid bitch", AGAIN!) He went all, "What are you doing you stupid bitch? That's my cart! You're trying to steal all my shit! That's MY cart!"
So, I had to point behind him to where "his" cart was and say, "You mean, that one?"
I guess he forgot where he put his damn cart or I don't even know... Maybe I should have kept it at a stifled giggle... Maybe I shouldn't have pointed and howled. He knew, I knew... He went back to loading up his car, I got into mine to leave with a smile on my face... I'll take my humor and laughs where I can get them.

Aaachooo! Again...

Sneezing has proven to be dangerous for me... Especially the really big ones. The whole body sneeze that convulses everything unintentionally... The epic sneeze. Damn near knocked myself unconscious last time...
This time, I was well away from the kitchen... No counters to bang my head on... No refrigerators to crash into... The only casualty were some groceries... Or so I thought until the next morning.
Everything hurt. My back, my neck, my stomach... I don't get it. It's either that I need to work out more because I can't handle sneezing or my epic sneezes are so freakin' EPIC that they cause soreness, aches and pains... I don't know which is more sad to me right now... <Sigh...>

Monday cometh...

It's not even 5 in the morning yet and the house is still quiet so I don't count it as being Monday yet... There is still the warm and fuzzy sensation that comes with being half asleep still. Quiet, dark and there is still peace. All is still right in the world. Nothing has gone wrong yet.
This is when I take a moment to be thankful for these little moments. Then I take the time to think about all the other things I can be thankful for. It has been quite a therapeutic experience. Just taking a bit of time at the beginning and the end of the day. The beginning of the day would start with being hopeful for the things I can continue to be thankful for and hopeful that I might have something else that I might be thankful for. My kids, my Lucky, friends and family, and all the basic essentials. I take the time out to be thankful for my kids' sakes. They have both their parents that love them and we are doing our best for them. Separately, but at the end of the day, the kids know that they are loved, they feel safe and secure in knowing that we are there for them and despite OUR differences, they come first. My kids still have ALL FOUR of their grandparents and all the extended relatives.They have their friends. They are loved, safe, healthy, happy and have everything that they need. All things that I can ultimately be thankful for.
At the end of the day, its decompressing and getting rid of the "crap" the day brought and going back over and sifting through the positives.Those are things that no matter how hard anyone tries, they can't take them away from me.
Some days are better than others, but I have to admit, getting rid of the bag of bricks, even one brick at a time, has been uplifting. I'm coming along. I doubt I'll ever find "peace", but something close will do.
No worries, mind you. I'm still going to be grumpy and stupidity will still amuse the snot out of me and I'll still be as quirky as ever. I think I have a clearer view of "my path" although I'm sure I'll still be distracted by the many things that cross this path. Oh, and of course shiny things. And chickens... The lives ones... They walk around all funny... I find it amusing. It's a thing.
In the meantime, Monday approaches and thus starts another week of the usual hustle and bustle of life. <Sigh!> Hurray work! At least I have something to do! Hurray the kids will be cranky and I'm sure there will be a moment or two that they will try my patience to its limits! But they are healthy, beautiful, happy (for the most part) children and they are really the coolest kids on the face of the planet. Roof, food, clothes, warmth... All the things that we need and even a few that may not necessarily be necessities, but we can be thankful for them none the less.
Ain't too much wrong with that...
Tick... Tick... Tick... Thus ends the "It's not Monday yet" moment and Monday comes screaming forth with the annoying, ear splitting <BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!> of the stupid alarm clock. <Sigh!> Yay! Monday! Bring it on!

Lawns...

Some people get absolutely CRAZY about their lawns. I once lived in a three family house. My apartment was on the lower level. The guy next door was one of those crazy lawn guys. During the spring, summer and fall, he'd be out there mowing the lawn, watering it, be all on hands and knees weeding it... He must have spent a fortune on the maintenance and all the crap that he bought for it. I have to admit it, it looked beautiful. Green, plush... It was amazing. And NOBODY was allowed on it. EVER! If he were allowed to sit out on his front porch with a shotgun, he would have. You just don't go near his fuckin lawn. Apeshit couldn't even accurately describe what he became if you so much as touched a blade of grass in his front yard. The string of obscenities and threats... It was quite amusing.
So, lawn dude had a dog. An old, overweight beagle that barked at everything... ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME! I don't think the dog ever shut up. Now, lawn dude, being all obsessed with his grass never allowed his dog to "go" on the lawn that he meticulously kept. He brought the dog to where "our yard" was. We asked him not to, but he denied it despite the fact that we watched him do it. "Nope, I have my own yard for the dog to do his business!"
Granted, none of us really cared too much about the lawn and if it got TOO long, one of us would mow it and that would be that. None of us really took the time to maintain the lawn or do anything beyond mow it from time to time. It was just the point.
Enter golf clubs. In the summer time, if you waited long enough, the shit would dry up in the heat and sun. In the fall, if you waited until early morning, they'd be cold enough to be solid and in the winter... Well, duh! None of the residents in "my building" had dogs so why did we have to deal with the dog shit? We made a game of it. The golf club sat out on the front porch for anyone who noticed a poo in our yard...
Lawn dude went NUTS! He hated seeing the poop on his lawn, but wouldn't confront any of us because he'd basically be admitting that he let his dog shit on our lawn. I mean why would his lawn be free of shit and ours covered with it? Even after I moved it continued. A year and a half this continued... Lawn dude continued to let the dog shit on "our" lawn and it was "golfed" back over onto his with a nine iron. He even tried to steal the golf club from the front porch... Thank goodness for the creaky second step and the squeaky screen door to the front porch! Yeah... It continued on until the dog died...
I've never really understood people getting all crazy about their lawns... I chalk it up as one of THEIR quirks... Not too much I can do about it.

The Internet...

Traversing the internet is always... Interesting. You never know what you're going to find. I mean seriously. You can type in the most random combination of words and in .09 seconds, a gojillion pages pop up  relating to the words you typed in.
I have learned quite a bit about a lot of different things. I have come across recipes, learned about different cultures, seen pictures of places that I may never be able to get to in my lifetime. I have found friends that I had lost touch with, I have found hard to come by items that you wouldn't necessarily find anywhere else. It's quite the great little tool. The world does seems a little bit smaller when it can be right there at your fingertips... An hour of your time and it's the poor man's vacation really... Fruity drink in one hand, flip flops on your feet and a goofy shirt and hat and surfing through websites about the Bahamas. Culture, food, pictures of pretty beaches... Might as well have fun with it...
But beware... There is stuff out there that will make you regret ever being born too... I mean sick, twisted shit that makes you want to gouge out your own eyes, and make you want to perform a lobotomy on yourself with a red hot poker and a claw hammer, just to erase the images that burn themselves into your mind... Harmless searches like Google-ing "cookie recipe" and you can hit the jackpot with some pretty weird shit. Cookie recipe on Google, 15-20 pages in, and things start getting less then cookie recipe like. I came across one and in the desciption was listed "chocolate chip, oatmeal, oatmeal raisin, rum, white chocolate macadamia, almond..." It listed a bunch of different kinds of cookies and qualified it with, "Best recipes ever! Award winning!" So I clicked on it...
Let's just say, what was seen can never be unseen...

Because I don't have enough to deal with...

Just when I think I have everything typed up and in order and I'm satisfied with it, I move on, but when I go back to it, I find that I make more changes and have to go back through the process all over again... I've got about  twenty chapters to finish typing up, then re-writing and editing, then going back through... Blah, blah, blah... I get calls from the publishing place from time to time... "Is it finished? When will you be able to submit your manuscript?" Despite the fact that I have another two months left before "deadline". I hate typing and I really suck at it because hunt and peck is the only method I know, some of the keys keep popping off the keyboard and get lost... Always a fun time I assure you! And of course, life is happening all at the same time.
Things are hectic and crazy, but it feels good. I've taken a hiatus from the Ebay thing and concentrating my efforts on my children and getting this book typed up and the manuscript sent out. They figure, if I meet the deadline, the book will be "on the shelves" this summer...
As if I didn't have enough on my plate, I always have to go out of my way to seek out the stupidity of others, simply because it amuses me. We've all run across that moment, either watching the news or seeing it happening right in front of you... Blatant stupidity that merits a moment of witnessing simply out of morbid curiosity. I've thought to myself plenty of time, "No fuckin' WAY that person is stupid enough to... Wow! He did it... I guess he WAS that stupid..." What's really scary is that, you never have to look very far to find stupidity. There's an abundance of it out there and it's not even a matter of knowing where to look.
It's like looking for shooting stars out in the countryside. If you look in one direction long enough, you are bound to see one... It's the same with stupid people doing stupid things. You find a likely area and just watch. It'll happen.
Some of these moments are noteworthy. Other times it would maybe merit a giggle and we move on. Some might get the face palm and the head shake of disgust. Some might get the laugh and sigh. Some might get a mere glance and "Meh! Not worth my time..." Then there are the ones where you point and laugh out loud, bust out your cell phone to take pictures and send them out to everyone in your contacts, post the picture on Facebook, write a blog about it and joke and laugh about it for years to come...<Sigh!> Quirk... What can I say? I'm keeping this one.

Groundhog Day...

Happy Groundhog Day...
With that being said, I swear on everything that I hold dear and holy, if that vermin sees his shadow and hides out for another six weeks, predicting more of this winter shit, I am going to lose my ever lovin' mind! We will be having rodent stew a la Punxsutawney Phil!

Me hibernate...

With winter being on us full force, it gets harder and harder to get out of bed. I'd much rather be snuggled in under the covers and hibernating than dealing with the snow and ice and crap, but living in New England... Well, I guess it's kind of hard to avoid the snow and the ice and the crap.I hate it!
Don't get me wrong. After the snow, the outside winter wonderland world looks beautiful, especially at night. Then reality comes screaming back with the realization that I have to shovel all that pretty looking snow off the driveway.
With the amount of snow we've gotten so far this year and the number of snow days because of it, I think my children are going to be seeing the Fourth of July fireworks from their classrooms. Its been a nightmare! We're running out of room for all the friggin' snow! There's nowhere to put it all. Now come to find out we're supposed to get hit with MORE??!?? Great...
On the other side of that, I get an extra day to hang out with the monkeys. We play, we sled, we make igloos and forts, we drink cocoa and we chill on what, otherwise, would have been just a regular day of whatever. It's sort of like a surprise holiday, so I guess it's not all bad... Dang it! Another perfectly negative rant foiled again by four rays of sunshine... <Sigh!> Fine... Maybe I like the snow a little bit.