Hey fans and not so fans....

Okay Boo Boos..... Here's the deal-y..... I have some life things that I have been attending to, and they are now requiring my FULL and undivided attention at the moment. Now, don't y'all fret and don't y'all frown! I will make a triumphant return with glorious, insightful, witty, intelligent posts (well.... not really....) again really soon. In the meantime, go on and read back through.....

Here are some of MY faves.... (Yes, I realize that I "favorite-d" my own blog posts..... ): There's THIS one or THIS one about yours truly,  or THIS gem, my PLANS to take over the world, some helpful ADVICE, some serious THOUGHTS, some insight into the inner machinations of my MIND, insights into my FAMILY, my thoughts on FOOD, MARRIAGE, TRAFFIC, LIFE, some LESSONS I've learned, how life can be CRUEL at times, and sometimes NOT. There's a whole shit ton of posts that basically range from poignant to inane, seemingly intelligent to absolute dribble, all depending on what my caffeine intake was, where on the scale my weirdness index was and how diminutive my attention span was.

I'll just be needing a little time off while I go deal with the world at large. Stay tuned and check back in, in a couple of weeks. And just in case I haven't returned by then, I wish y'all a happy <year end holiday of your choice>, and a big BAH HUMBUG from yours truly.

Mia, the Action Figure!

Me as an action figure. Can you imagine THAT shit? Yeah, probably not, but I do all the time. My action figure would come with cool action phases like, "Um... No.", "You're a fuckin' ass hat!", "What are you, fuckin' stupid?" and many others. It would come with a brass knuckle coffee mug, color changing hair, and lots of weapons. It would be wearing jeans, a t-shirt and bunny slippers.... It would be the greatest action figure EVER!!!! I'd TOTALLY buy one!

Another reason I might be going to hell.....

My sense of humor takes me to all sorts of places... Some of it crosses into inappropriately funny.... But I had to stop and think, "Why is it so fucking inappropriate? And who deemed that it is or isn't or should or shouldn't be considered inappropriate anyway?"

It's not like I'll laugh at some atrocious act that led to a bloodbath and murder and crap like that or because of some tragic event or whatever, but I do try and find humor wherever I can because I think it's important.

I laugh when I see people trip and fall. I mean, once I've calmed down, I'll go and see if I can help out and stuff, but I still laugh. I joke about all sorts of things that I probably shouldn't, not because I think it's funny so much as it is, I like to make light of certain serious subjects just to try and soften it up a little for myself. I'm not one for being serious all the time and taking everything so fucking seriously. I can't do it. It makes my head hurt and makes me want to go all bonkers. I need to break it up and find humor in everything, regardless of whether or not it's considered appropriate or not. I don't exactly do it to offend other people. I do it just so I don't end up losing my mind. Of course, that intention ALWAYS gets lost and I end up being deemed an asshole anyway... Oh well...

LOL!

I don't think I have ever seen a more accurate description of Puppy Guts and I damn near lost my mind laughing at this picture. We truly feel ourselves to be a passionate and graceful couple, but the reality is, we're a couple of perfectly matched weirdos who happened to find each other out of all of the  rest of the weirdos in the world.

The funny thing is, I think this is probably accurate about all people in relationships. Let me explain....

Who doesn't think they have a great relationship when they're in one? (I mean a real one. Not one of those fake ones where one or both is not happy , but they stay anyway because... Well, because....I don't even know.) But to the rest of the world, they are a couple of goofballs. But being a goofballs is who they are and they're happy. What's the problem with that? It's not really anyone else's business what happens behind closed doors and stuff and if the intent between those two people is true, regardless, I believe that the top picture holds true every time regardless of the weirdness or the level of goofiness. (Although, Morticia and Gomez were pretty weird.... But their passion and love for each other is true.) Soulmates are soulmates regardless of whether they're graceful, pretty people, or just a couple of goofballs like my Puppy Guts and me. <3

Me and not me.....

I've learned a valuable lesson, a little late in life, that I should never be told who I am, who I am expected to be, who I should be, what I should say, and act like and when I should shut up.... I was defined by someone else as to who I was or who I should be for a pretty long time. In coming to a cathartic moment and looking back over that time in life, it was a very harsh reality that slapped me in the face pretty hard. "The Me I should have been" and "the Not me that I was shaped into by someone else" came face to face and squared off. It was like a meeting of the immortal warriors a la Highlander, and there could be only one. It's a pretty sobering moment too. Do you stay with the life that you're comfortable with? The ennui of what you're used to and is safe and easy and be miserable or do you embrace the fact that THAT is not your life and you should probably go out and seek it for yourself and maybe perhaps be happier for it? Pretty deep questions that you have to ask yourself there. And never with easy answers.

Then when you come to the conclusion that you ought to be who you are, standing firm to that and not letting anyone sway you can be a cold and lonely place to have to be as you sort out who you are and generally, that has to be done on your own. It really can't be done for you. It's sometimes difficult to see what was someone else's definition of your life was or what the pieces are of how you define it for yourself . It's a process that rips you to pieces. The true test of character comes when you can pick up the pieces of you that DO define you and put them back together to to rebuild yourself to who you are supposed to be, free of anyone else's input as to who you should be. It's a difficult road, to have to take really deep introspectives into your own life and see not just the positives but also all the negatives. Delving into the negatives of everything that you are is not a pretty experience. You really do start to take a very good, long, hard, deep look into yourself and your flaws, your mistakes, the ugliness that you harbor and it gets even more difficult trying to let them go. Identifying the causes of them, the feelings attached to them, whatever keeps you tethered to them... A lot of the times, you are your own worst enemy while other times, you were made to be your own worst enemy by someone else. It's pretty ugly at best.

I guess the question can come up, "How does a person get to that point?" It's a very valid question. I mean, why would a person want to get to that point anyway? Shouldn't it be best to avoid those kind of situations that would change who you are? I mean don't get me wrong, there are plenty of positive things that can come from change, but the ones I am discussing here today are the ones that end up taking the definition of what you are, tossing them out and having the new definitions of who you are rewritten for you by someones else to suit their needs and not yours. The whole process of becoming someone else's definition of who you are takes years and some of the times, an individual will become so sucked into the "new them" that it becomes reality, while in the back of their minds they still have red flags popping up. Those red flags are quickly squashed and dismissed and eventually forgotten. It's never really a permanent fix though and there does come a time when no amount of lame ass excuses and bullying can get you back in line.... That's when the real fun begins. Starting to break those chains is a fun process, and all, but once the chains and tethers that held you there are all gone, you are left cold, alone, "naked" and trying to figure out how you got there and most importantly, how you get back. After wallowing in that for a little while, it comes time to pick yourself up off your ass and make the steps forward by rediscovering everything that you thought you liked about yourself and find out that you didn't like it at all or finding something distasteful turned out not to be so distasteful at all... It becomes a rediscovery of self.

It's an insane process that makes you strip down everything that you think are and find the core. Then rebuiling from that core using all of the pieces that lay around you, figure out what's yours, figure out what's not and finally bring you to your finished product. It's not to say that there won't be some major adjustments that will need to be made, but that comes a step at a time.. It can't be done all at once. It just doesn't happen that way. It's not some miraculous, overnight process. It's a process that bleeds from one step into another until finally you have a haphazard lump of "clay". Then taking that haphazard lump and forming it back into a person: the person you know you ought to be.

When you get to the other side, there is feeling of pride in that accomplishment. In that moment, you feel whole and ready to take on the world. You feel like you're ready to move forward and you can with great dignity and grace, which is really kind of awesome.

I'm still working on all of my shit, but the road forward is looking pretty nice and looking back over the road behind me, I'm feeling rather accomplished.

My excessive use of foul language....

I will address the issue of my excessive usage of "curse words". I swear so much because fuck you.

Nah! I'm just kidding... Seriously. I'm actually going to address this:

I don't think that my swearing is necessarily excessive. It's not like I'm saying fuck or piss or cunt or shit or whatever ALL the time. I mean, yes I swear and I use the word FUCK as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an interjection, whatever. Same with the word SHIT. I make up my own words sometimes and I also know how to cuss someone out in six different languages. But does that make my use of swear words excessive?

The way I see it, they're just words. People are shitty and selfish and malicious and mean and cruel and downright disgusting towards one another and my using the FUCK word is offensive? THAT'S what people will find offensive.... Are you fucking kidding me?

You know what, I'm really starting to feel rather ridiculous that I have to explain this. I'm gonna stick to my original explanation and say: I swear so much because fuck you. There are those who understand and everyone else can go fuck themselves.

Religion....

It's not that I don't have faith, but I see myself more as "spiritual" than "religious". What's the difference? Well, in MY opinion, spiritual is knowing that there is probably a higher power than myself out there, be it god or gods or super intelligent aliens from a different galaxy. Something. I believe something is out there.

Religious, well, to me anyway, is being an unquestioning sheep, subjugated to never ending rites and rituals that really don't mean anything to the people except that they have to be done. Religious implies to me, the constant conflicting information even within the same "religions" using the same "spiritual guides" that everyone seems to think their version is right and everyone else is going to hell. Religious is going through the motions of their "religion", but without the intent or having any kind of spiritual connection to it. Everyone is trying to justify why it is that their version is the right one.

Now, I'm not completely without some "education". I'm not completely ignorant on the different religions. I actually took interest, purely on a intellectual level, about the different religions and their belief systems and shit like that. The one that I find to have the most amount of inconsistencies are the bible based sects.... Everything from the Old Testament based religions to the New Testament ones. I mean, think about it... The most common world issues.... Christianity/ Catholicism, islamabullshit, Judaism. It all stems from the same fucking place, but each couldn't be more different from each other and each will claim that THEY are the ones who have it right. They fight and kill and die in the name of their god, all for what? I kinda doubt that when this/ these religion(s) were made up by the people, the supposed deity or deities receiving worship from the masses had this crap in mind. The "message" may have gotten a bit skewed or misinterpreted. But when you sprinkle in the imperfections of the human race.....

What you end up with yet another way to reign over the people using fear and abject subjugation. The soft headed masses turn up to their "houses of worship" of whatever flavor and get preached to by, basically, a self appointed important person to "lead the mass" or whatever for fear that they might end up in a made up land of unimaginable suffering and torture. (Oh my BACON! They end up at my parents' house?)

Then you get the fucktards who say they love their religion, or claim to be of a specific religious affiliation, but only go to their house of worship MAYBE once a year because of something they were invited to, like a wedding or a something or another or because of some holiday. For those catholic-y christian flavored folks, Easter and Christmas are usually the two biggest. They push their "religion" onto their children by subjecting them to years of church school or whatever (I thought it was called "cataclysm", but it's "catechism".... six of one, half dozen of another....) but what are they really teaching them? These poor kids are forced to go through the stupid rites and rituals because "that's what we do".... And yet where is the spirituality? They are basically taught that their god is everywhere and that if they're bad, they'll be punished (kinda like Santa Claus....) and that some middle-aged white guy was sacrificed by his dad for everyone in the world and got himself stapled to a wooden pole and died. Retarded at best. Then, they grow up without the most important thing. The faith and spirituality. It sort of all gets lost. Then they raise another generation of kids being told, "because that's what we do..."

Religion is probably one of the more touchy things to get conversational about. That and politics, which is the reason why I don't get involved too often. I just wanted to put my feelings about this out there a little bit is all......

Mama.... What are burgers made from?

There comes a time when all children come to realize that their food comes from somewhere. Inevitably, they start to question where there food actually comes from. Yes..... stuff like steak and burgers and chicken and bacon and chops and stuff like that. When they come to learn where meat comes from, some children are shocked and panic and cry, others go back about their business and continue to nom. Some are not bothered by some things, but are bothered by others. I don't know. But there does come a time when it happens.

My daughter still doesn't quite "get it". She likes beef and chicken and turkey and ham and sausage and stuff and that it came from an animal, but doesn't still "get it". You know... The animal MAGICALLY makes the meat appear and that's how we get our tasty noms.... My boys, on the other hand, all know where meat comes from. They look at a pig and say, "LOOK! Fresh bacon!" They look at a cow and say, "You can be my hamburger someday!" They look at a deer and say, "YAY! Bambi burgers!" and they also understand that the animal has to die in order for us to get said tasty noms. None of them were really bothered by that. Meat is yummy. Yay meat! :shrug: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.....

They are still very clueless as to the actual process of how we get said tasty noms though.... Maybe they're better off.

Cravings....

What is it about the human mind that makes us crave something so badly that it almost becomes something like borderline obsession? Cravings happen sometimes. You could be sitting there and all of a sudden BLAM! TACOS! And that's all you can think about.... Crunchy, meaty, tasty, delicious, "the works" taco. MMmmmmmm..... Or like, you're in the middle of doing something important, totally not thinking of food and WHAMMO! PAN SEARED STEAK BRAISED IN A RED WINE REDUCTION WITH FRESH HERBS AND GARLIC AND ONIONS AND MAYBE A LITTLE BROTH TO JUICE OUT THE REDUCTION AND HAVE IT ALL WITH A LOAF OF ROASTED GARLIC CIABATTA BREAD AND..... And your attention is completely on whatever it is you're fantasizing about nomming and the recipe keeps getting more complex as you sit there drooling on yourself....

PMS cravings are worse.... Well, at least for me they are. I usually don't feel like doing anything, so I pool all the energy and "care" into making sure that I do everything for the kids and by the time I'm done with that, I'm left to sit and dream nom because I'm not gonna make what I'm craving...

Pregnancy cravings.... OMG Those are wretched too.... I mean, there were your cravings that nagged at you until you got what you were craving, then you had your ANTI- cravings that the mere thought of that food made you throw up...Blech.....

Cravings are the oddest thing, I swear! What possesses the mind to DO that? It's so random and stupid, but once it takes hold, that takes up 90% of your thought processes and.... what the fuck? SHAZAM! TUNA MELT ON RYE! Dammit! Gotta go....

My evil plans....

If I let loose every one of the evil plans that I have hatched or whatever, the world would be fucked, I'd be public enemy number one, I'd have my own super cool theme song and a super cool action figure, and there would be an overpopulation of deadly, evil, mutant, ninja penguins running around all over the place. I mean, it's not like I have the means or the ability to be able to let loose any of my evil plans, but I'm saying, if I could and I DID, the world would be fucked....

It'd be cool to have my own super cool theme song and my own action figure though.....

It's not my fault....

I post a lot about the stupidity of others, my perception of the stupidity of others or just plain stupidity. I am allowed to do this, have my own opinions and voice them so that people can chose or chose not to read in what it is that I have to say. It's not my fault that stuff happens and I happen to be there to witness it. I enjoy watching the stupidity of others and watching their FAIL moment and laughing out loud about it. It's not because I made that shit happen. It's because the people whom I watch fail are either very stupid, make bad decisions or both, none of which I can really take any credit for. Some people were not made to walk and chew gum at the same time or talk out loud and drive at the same time. Hell, some people weren't made to do anything but take up space and breathe... It's not like I want bad things to happen to people either. That really isn't the case. It's just that sometimes, in witnessing someone stupid, doing something stupid, they need to have a "lesson learned" moment.

I hear people saying that everyone is here for a reason and everyone serve a purpose in life. They were put here because of some grand design... I guess if I stopped and thought about it, without stupid people to make fun of, I wouldn't have so much to write about and I'd probably be pretty bored. On the other side of that, I think I might be happier with a lack of subjects to write about than actually having some of these people on the planet. I don't know.... Six? Half dozen? Hmm.....

Certainly me.....

I am very easily amused by simple things. I can make pretend an epic moment out of the most mundane things. I laugh at random things. What can I say? It's who I am. Laughing is so important. I try to do it as often as I can, despite what my day is like. I like to finish things off with an epic (pretend) movie explosion. I like to do the slow-mo walk, without looking back with cool theme music in the background thing when I'm done with things too. There is just a certain feeling, a certain little positive moment that can make the difference when I'm having a particularly shitty day and stuff like this helps. Something in the back of my mind that is constantly saying, if I can find ONE positive thing or ONE happy thing or ONE thing that makes me laugh, it couldn't have been such a bad day.... Some days that works better than others, but there are some days that it takes a little extra effort. Thankfully, because I am so easily amused, it doesn't take much these days. I think because I have excised quite a bit of negative shit from my life. Although I still have quite a ways to go, in looking back, I've come a long way.

It's not that I like to look back often, but every once in a while, a glance over my shoulder to see how far I've come isn't a terrible thing.... But NEVER when I'm walking away from a toilet that automatically flushes. 'Cause I'm cool like that.

BAH!!!!!

Yeah.... So, it's official..... The year end holidays season is upon us now. Not like we haven't been bombarded with x'mas-y stuff since October or anything, but you know what I mean. It's for really real here now..... Let me get my Bah Humbug on...... It's about to get real. :C