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Saturday, April 30, 2011

My NEW favorite saying.... Well, one of them, anyway...



Now, it's not that I'm all about swearing, though I do pepper bit of conversation with "bad words"... Fine... I liberally apply all seven "things you can't say on TV" as well as some others that may be deemed "inappropriate" by some. It's not like I condone the taking of the Lord's name in vain... But seriously? "Jesus Buddha Christ of Latter Day WINNING" ...That about sums it up! (As stolen from Mat O. via Rosalia M.) I have to tell you, the first time I saw it, I snarfed a copious amount of tea all over the place and sputtered and gagged for three days because of it, but I also laughed like an idiot over it too. Quirk... It's some of the strangest things that I'll find amusement in.... 

Friday, April 29, 2011

Will he EVER learn?



Teen aged broody pants strikes again! I just don't get it! It almost seems like he enjoys the misery that he puts himself in. I even ASKED.... I GAVE him the option of taking a week of grounding OR just doing what I asked him to do. I GAVE him the opportunity to choose whether he would take 5 minutes out of his pouting time to do a simple chore OR spending time in his room, no TV, no electronic devices, no dessert, no friends, no phone, no NOTHING. He couldn't do it.
Hey, smarty pants! Was it worth trading 5 minutes of your time for a week of being grounded?
Goosfraba....

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Mini Vacation...



So last week was the kids' "spring break". No school for the week and so, off they went with their father for a week of fun. As it so happened, Lucky had a couple of days off during the vacay, so we spent the time together. What a treat. A few days back to back of spending the most amazing quality time together... Sigh! Nothing short of WINNING!
Puppy Guts, remember the thing? And the other thing? And the stuff... And BACON... Awesome. Thank you for the awesome week. ...Your queen is pleased... Very...

Monday, April 25, 2011

Diary of a Would-be Super Villain....


Day 1: I'm thinking of becoming an evil super villain... If I'm gonna get blamed for everything that goes wrong anyway, I might as well be able to say, "THAT was my evil plan all along! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!" At least that way, there will be some satisfaction in a success at something, then walk briskly and purposefully away with my black cape flowing behind me and billowing  around as I left...
Maybe I would even leave in slow-mo as I left the scene of chaos, without looking back to confirm it... It'd be that pop used salt instead of sugar in his coffee, but still... "Yes... It was my evil plan all along to confuse you by putting salt in the salt jar and sugar in the sugar bowl! Mwa ha ha ha ha! I have ruined your cup of coffee!" Yes... Yes, this might work...

Day 2: I suppose an evil lair of sorts , a solitary fortress, will have to be constructed somewhere far off and awesome. I was thinking a nice beach on a private tropical island... With a private gojillion square foot bugalow where I can plot out my evil schemes to take over the world while I enjoyed being fed grapes and mango balls... Fine! <SIGH!> I suppose for the time being, while my plans have still not come together I will be able to think about this other option later.... In the meantime, my closet will have to do for the time being... Not as cool as an old warehouse or an underground lab or whatever, but considering my current situation, I guess I don't have a choice.I'll just pushed the boxes of cute stuffed animal toys that my daughter keeps in a different corner, cover everything up with a black sheet or two, and try and get rid of the smell of mothballs somehow... It leaves me about 4' x 4' of space to work, but I suppose it will do for now...

Day 3: I worked on my evil laugh today... My "Mwa ha ha" has gotten quite sinister. I actually got the dog to notice when I tried it on him... Fine, he gave me a weird look, rolled his eyes and went back to sleep but he did notice. The little bastard! It seems he does not respect my authority and.... OH CRAP! HE HAS TO GO OUTSIDE NOW! HE'S DANCING AT THE DOOR!!!!!!! ...............I'm back. I'll have to find myself a different "evil super villain pet". The dog just seems to be mocking me and seems to take great pleasure in thwarting my "planning things"  with his incontinence!  Maybe perhaps I should look into a mutant marmoset that doen't eat, poop, or pee or anything... The dog's smug look and eye rolling is getting to be annoying... AND he just peed in my shoe... Again...Sigh!

Day 4: I need a super villain name and costume. I can't be a SUPER villain without a good name and costume. No one will take me seriously if I don't have a good name and costume. All of the greatest super villains had pretty cool costumes and stuff that were form fitting and probably made them look more buff then they were... That'd be neat, I guess, but I worry about the breathability of the material... Rashes could occur... And the wedgie factor... Eeerg! I'm thinking I might want to go with a Pepto pink fuzzy bathrobe over my pink Hello Kitty tank top, black boxer shorts and fuzzy bunny slippers. And a name... It should scream out WOMAN not to be toyed with... Someone who instills fear in many so I'm calling myself "Madam PMS-ing Mother in Law". I'll also have to come up with a catchphrase. Every good evil super villain needs a great catchphrase too... Hmm... Maybe I'll just scream maniacally... Hard for someone to come up with a good come back to that. It should leave them rendered speechless... 




Day 5: Assembling minions has been quite a challenge... It would seem that NO one wants to work for free and genetically engineering mutant minions is beyond the scope of what I'm capable of doing despite my many attempts in the basement. The hamster won't ever be the same and will never trust another Cheerios... microwaving chicken eggs did not yield the "mutant chickens" I was hoping for and feeding the dog mega doses of vitamins only gave him gas and diarrhea for a day... 
It would seem that a true evil super villain needs to be a super genius... Uh-oh... Well, crap. I wish I had known THAT! Maybe I could go to the super genius council and plead with them for more brain stuff to make happen in my brain... Oh... I needed to FINISH college? Oh, well...  Maybe I can fake it. If the POTUS can do it, it shouldn't be too difficult a task], right?




Day 6: Minions are assembled... Too bad they are all imaginary... No wonder nothing's getting done... Crap.... I've been barking orders about readying all sort of weapons that they were supposed to be helping to build... It seems I STILL don't have my super pimped out super villain ride and I have yet to come up wit my own theme song. <Sigh> this day was a waste......


Day 7: I tried to get in touch with the Super Powers Commission to try and obtain some kind of super power to use at my disposal. It wouldn't have to be a big one like super human strength or shape shifting or flying or even telekinesis or something. Maybe "warm" vision" or being able to call forth a herd of bunnies at my command or precision booger flicking right into the eye, You know... Start small and perhaps work my way up to something cooler. Yeah... No. Apparently it's a pretty ELITE group... Pfft! Well, they didn't need to keep laughing at me! Even AFTER I left the doors... and the building! Yeesh!


Day 8: No one is taking my threats of taking over the world seriously. I would have thought that someone would have at least perked up a little when I "Mwa ha ha"-ed and threatened to take over the world. You know... A "super hero" type that would have responded to me with an "Oh no you don't!" or something... How can I be a proper super villain if I don't have a super hero to be my nemesis? I thought the maniacal screaming and sinister "Mwa ha ha ha ha!" would have brought it all home, but I got nothing. I just got a few funny looks at the grocery store... Maybe perhaps I should have found an alternate venue to reveal my wicked plan for world domination...And planned it out a little better... :s




Day 9: Okay... So, becoming a super villain is proving to be far more difficult than I thought... Never mind then... I think I'll just stick to my original plans of becoming the Supreme Royal Highness and Ruler of Everything... Seems more realistic a goal anyway and I quite like the title.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Our Thai Place...



We don't get out to eat much simply because we don't have time. With our schedules being what they are, Lucky and I are "meals at home" type people. When it is that we do have a quiet night and we get to go out to eat, this is where we end up. I can sum it up in one word.  YUMMY!
I don't think we've ever gone in there and thought, "The food was... Off today..." or thought "Meh, it was okay...". It was consistently yummy every time! Veggies cooked to perfection and not all limo and soggy, yummy goodness abound with every plateful of deliciousness... There has never been anything that we've eaten that we didn't like.
Do we have out favorites? Of course! My meal of choice always starts with a Thai iced tea and spring rolls. Then it's either the spicy garlic shrimp (which is ALWAYS MORE awesome the next day) or the beef basil. Tastiness abound! The clouds part, the angels sing, and God's light shines down from the heavens... It's yummy.
So here's the deal-e. If your in my neck of the woods, in CT and you like-a the Thai food, go... I promise. Your tummy will be all, "You rock out loud! That was the SCHIZZ!"

Saturday, April 23, 2011

That Spring Holiday...



Here we come around to another of those holidays that USED to have "religious significance" but was turned into a commercialized holiday about bunnies and candy and baskets and junk and stuff. Don't get me wrong. My kids get the baskets with the colored eggs and chocolates and bunnies and stuff and junk, but I think it's important for them to know the REAL significance of what Good Friday and Easter really are.
Obviously, I am not exactly the greatest source of biblical knowledge. That's why I am thankful that my children do have people that they can go to. I will never begrudge my children the "spirit of the holidays" and stuff, but I think they should know that the REAL significance of these religious holidays and not just because they get days off from school and get stuff. I'm just sayin'...

Friday, April 22, 2011

A "Bang! Ding!" Date



Having been on a real shooting range only once and having shot hand pistols only a few times in my life, I will NEVER claim expertise. EVER. With that having been said, that was fun! I was allowed onto the firing range where  Specter Tactical was running a class (Lucky was the firearms instructor). Okay... For the most part, I sat in the sun on a tarp in the grass, enjoying a glorious day wearing ear muffs and safety glasses, but still... (As a side note, those ear muff were funny. The only noises that I heard were the sounds of me chewing gum... In my head... It was weird)
So, at one point, I was allowed to try a few types of pistols. The first was a Browning. Not too bad... I hit the thing, made it go "DING!" and yay, great. I also tried the Glock... Oy VEY! The thing kicked like a mule! And OWIE! I hit the target three or four times... After that, my hands were shaking so much from the recoil I wasn't able to hit the broad side of a barn with the rest of what was left in the magazine. I tried a little double action revolver... I couldn't pull the trigger to save my life. After Lucky pulled back the hammer, I was able to, but yeah... No. The highlight came when I tried the 1911. The thing was heavy as all get out, but it was weird. I was more accurate with that than with any other one I tried that day, my groups were tighter and Lucky said I did pretty well (and we were further back from the targets to boot). Go figure... It's hard to tell where I was hitting when I was shooting at the targets. I was only able to hear the "Ding!" sounds as I hit them. Lucky was watching where they hit and he said he was mighty impressed even though I am a noob. He said that my groups with the 1911 were "scary". Aww! It was so much fun!
On the other side of that, the raw power and the amount of devastation you can cause with a pistol and feeling it as I stood behind it squeezing the trigger, it gave me a better respect for it and I learned a thing or two. I managed to remember to keep the weapon pointed down range until Lucky took it from me and made sure that it was clear and finger off the trigger until I was ready to shoot at the targets. There's really no room for carelessness on the range and everyone there had a great respect for that. I think it's important that anyone who is carrying, whether it's for work or for personal protection should be as well trained as they could possibly be. But that's just my opinion.
I can see how it wouldn't be the kind of thing for everybody to do as a hobby. For one thing, it's expensive as hell. The cost of ammo... Well, apparently, it isn't cheap. I found that out when I got a couple of boxes of .45 ACP for Lucky for Valentine's day. (Nothing says love like ammo.) The different types of guns that showed up that day weren't exactly cheap either. Range fees and paying for the class... Add it up and I have to tell you.... It ain't a hobby for the financially challenged.
Another thing is, it's not exactly something some would be comfortable with. Whether it be fear of the weapon or the loud noise or whatever it is. Just like rock climbing or bungee jumping isn't for everyone, shooting goes the same way.  It's a preference.
The people who showed up to this particular class were really cool and very nice. Sure, I'm the instructor's girl and all, but they didn't treat me like a noob even though I am. I was so proud of Lucky being all professional and teaching a class and being all "instructor" like. It was neat to watch him go about doing his thing. Tee hee hee... Being all teacher-y and instructor-y and shooting and commanding and stuff... <Sigh...> Nice...
Even though it wasn't like we were spending the day together, we spent the day together and it was nice. I have to say, it was a very cool "date" and I had a lot of fun. A great weekend... Thank you, Puppy Guts!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

I'm supposed to care because?



...I'm sorry... I was so busy with my own life,   I forgot to give a shit about yours... Now... What are you whining about now? ...Uh, huh.... Uh, huh... Okay! Never mind! I stopped caring after you opened your mouth... You can shut the fuck up now and go away. Buh-bye.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Our POTUS...



In 1952 President Truman established one day a year as a "National Day of Prayer."

In 1988 President Reagan designated the First Thursday in May of each year as the National Day of Prayer.

In June 2007 (then) Presidential Candidate Barack Obama declared that the USA "Was no longer a Christian nation."

This year President Obama canceled the 21st annual National Day of Prayer ceremony at the White House under the ruse Of "not wanting to offend anyone".


BUT... on September 25, 2009 from 4 AM until 7 PM, a National Day of Prayer FOR THE MUSLIM RELIGION was Held on Capitol Hill, Beside the White House. There were over 50,000 Muslims in D.C. that day.

HE PRAYS WITH THE MUSLIMS! I guess it Doesn't matter if "Christians" Are offended by this event - We obviously Don't count as "anyone" Anymore. The direction this country is headed should strike fear in the heart of every Christian, especially knowing that the Muslim religion believes that if Christians cannot be converted, they should be annihilated. This is not a Rumor - Go to the website To confirm this info: http://www.islamoncapitolhill.com

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Gaaaah! Watching the news does me no good... EVER!!!


So the back story on this goes like this:
An eight-year old boy named Aidan was pepper sprayed by Lakewood, Colorado police after acting up in a classroom.
Teachers had barricaded themselves in after the second-grader threw a violent temper tantrum.
Aidan, whose last name was not revealed to protect his privacy, had torn a piece of wooden trim off the walls and was wielding it like a weapon, according to a police report filed about the incident at Glennon Heights Elementary on February 22.
He also threw a television and was threatening to kill the teachers. When police arrived, a spokesman said, they felt they had no option but use use the pepper spray on him.
Aidan told local 9 News, ‘It burned my eyes, and I couldn’t see.’
He was reportedly treated for minor skin irritation.
This was the third time police had been called after Aidan’s temper tantrums, although his mother, Mandy, is criticizing the police for what she considers excessive force, and for treating her young son ‘like a common criminal.’
According to the police report, Aidan ‘was climbing the cart and spitting at teachers. He also broke wood trim off the walls and was trying to stab teachers with it.’
‘I wanted to make something sharp if they came out because I was so mad at them," Aidan said. ‘I was going to try to whack them with it.’
After he refused to obey police, they sprayed him with pepper spray two times. He dropped the stick, and they handcuffed him.
Lakewood police are defending their actions. Aidan was placed on a ‘mental health hold’ and was transferred to a school for children with behavioral issues.
Aidan’s mother told 9 News that her son had been seeing a doctor, but has not been diagnosed with mental problems and is not on medication.
‘I have some anger things,’ the child admitted. ‘I don’t think they’re ever going to go away.’

Now, there is a HUGE difference between a TEMPER TANTRUM and VIOLENT OUTBURST... This kid has serious issues and it's only going to get worse the bigger and stronger he get. Other than the strength thing, dealing with a violent 2nd grader is really not too different than dealing with a "Travis the chimp" scenario.... The police had to shoot and kill Travis simply because of his immense strength. If Travis wanted to, he had the strength to rip off a limb or tear someones head clean from their shoulders. Aidan was not a chimp. Just a different kind of animal all together, so the force used was NOT excessive, but appropriate for what the situation called for. The kid was still a threat. Not a raging full grown male chimp, but a threat none the less. The cop didn't shoot and kill the raging little animal. They pepper sprayed him. Shooting him would have been "excessive force". No teacher OR cop should have to get stabbed because the threat they were dealing with was a child.
Shame on the mom for not recognizing that her child HAS MAJOR ISSUES! A temper tantrum is one thing, but this kid was threatening to KILL PEOPLE. HELLLLOOOOOOOO! That's not normal! ESPECIALLY when it was NOT an isolated incident! Really? Then for this woman to go on TV or to the papers and claim that it was excessive force? The stupid cow needs to go home, shut the fuck up and learn how to deal with her kid and stop making it everyone else's problem in dealing with her little monster. He may have been enrolled in a school for kids with "emotional behavioral issues", but the school shouldn't have to deal with violent attacks. Neither should police regardless of whether their "attacker" was 8 or 108. 
NO COP in their right mind puts on the vest thinking, "You know what? I'm gonna pepper spray me an 8 year old kid today!" They don't know what their shift is going to bring. They strap on the vest saying, "Nope... This isn't going to be the day... The vest feels good... I'm going home when my shift is done." The REAL issue here is that Mandy Elliot needs to do something other than make excuses for her son and learn how to deal. If the stupid cow had time to go touring around doing interviews about how the cops were so wrong, she had time to learn about how to deal with an emotionally disturbed 8 year old who will someday become an emotionally disturbed 10 or 15 or 20 year old. Then what? I wonder how she would have dealt if the cop HADN'T used the pepper spray and the kid charged and got in a "lucky stab" and killed the cop instead. Do you really think she'd be touring around on different "news shows" and talk shows apologizing to the cop's family?
Lady! Get a life and control that little shit of yours! At this rate he's looking at a life long career as a yet another sociopathic lunatic that you are unleashing onto the world (as if we didn't have enough of those...) and making that monster yet another problem for society (because the world needs more?)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

It's official...



Pre-teen broody pants is officially now teenage broody pants. Is he broody today? Of course! I leave him to pout in his room, with the shades drawn, the door slammed shut and whatever else he does in there. Good times... Yup... Goooooood times...
Happy Birthday Broody Pants! I love you so much!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Tantrums...



Having both ends of the spectrum, be it three year old or teen, I'm not sure which is worse when it comes to the temper tantrums. Whether is comes from the three year old or the teen, neither one of them is pleasant. It sucks ass, actually. One is driven by the need for everything to be hers and everything needing to go her way or else, while the other is driven by hormones and the need for everything to be his and everything needing to go his way or else.
Loads of fun. I've given up on ever receiving my "How to deal with a Teen" handbook, super magical remote control and secret decoder ring...
On the one hand, I have the little girl who throws a temper tantrum and she screams and cries in the shrill little voice that makes your ears bleed and you feel it in your spine. She hoots and hollers and stamps her little foot for 5 to 45 minutes and done. Whatever.
On the other hand, I got teen broody boy from hell who stomps around, broods silently, gives evil nasty looks and answers in a series of grunts and other such noises and glares. It's awesome...
I think the little one is easier to deal with because all I have to do is ignore her for a little while. She calms down and done. Back to being the sweet little girl I know her to be. Teen broody pants is not. He is in a constant state of Goth/ Emo... It's pathetic.
Goosfraba... This too shall pass...

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Could it be?



Is it true? Is it really spring now? I mean I realize that "spring" came in March, but for crying out loud, we were hit with snow... We got snow on April 1st... Can we emerge from our cramped shelters to start enjoying the nicer more milder weather? That'd be awesome. This cabin fever shit is starting to drive me way past a little nuts.... Here's hopin'!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Ooey Gooey Puppy Guts...



I know I post frequently about how I love my dear sweet Lucky and how much he means to me and how important he is to me in my life, but I can't help myself. The time we get to spend with each, though on some occasions seem to be infrequent and short, is something that carries us through the days and weeks and months and coming around years. Despite distance (which in the grand scheme, it's really nothing) and the little time we spend (which has always been quality and nothing short of amazing), we've managed to keep it all together and love each other more every day. I don't think there has ever been an occasion when we haven't been there for each other when one needed the other and there is never a moment that either one of us felt neglected, unwanted, unloved or not thought of and it's awesome. I never felt second to anything, I never felt as if I was an obligation, I never was made to feel like anything short of a princess. I'm still not used to it and I think it would be hard pressed for me to say that I will ever get used to it.  And yet, here I have my Puppy Guts telling me "That's the way it's supposed to be!" as he holds me close and hugs me and tells me that he loves me with everything that he is and that it would take every one of his lifetimes for the rest of eternity to show me how much he loves me, but he will show me... <Sigh...> Lovey, Lovey Lovey Gooey Goo! I love you too, Puppy Guts.... XOXOX

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Yet another night with the WT crew...



Hanging out, doing our WT thing, eating cheese and crackers and just chillin' out,  My Mitchie, Lucky and I were discussing something and I'm not too sure how the conversation turned, but we started talking about Krav Maga. At one point, Mitchie said something about beating the opponent unconscious and capping them in the head. The end. Done. No more worries. Lucky mentioned taking the wallet and casing the body for any other goodies.  I don't know what possessed me to say it, but I jumped in with, "Well, wouldn't that make it Krav NIGgaH?"
It became our joke of the evening... I don't think we discussed the zombie apocalypse that evening though... Weird...

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Pet Peeve... Another one...


I really don't mind when people borrow my car. If someone needs it and I don't, go ahead... I don't have too many issues with that. As long as there's gas in it when you get back, you haven't dinged it all up and it is in the same condition you left with it and don't wreck it, I don't see the problem.

With that being said though, I HATE getting into my car after my mom or my dad uses it. They mess up the whole feng shui of the car and misalign the chi of all the chakras and totally cloud up the aura of the -ness of my car. The radio is on some talk radio news something, the seat is all wrong, the vents are pointing all in the wrong directions, the steering wheel is all adjusted wrong and the settings for the radio are all messed up... I mean EVERYTHING that they could possibly futz with is futzed with. I get into my car and I'm all "GAAAAAH! What the FUCK?" Then I have to take ten minutes to get everything back to the way it needs to be.
Ya know? Yeesh!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Anger...


Anger is a concept that I have been working with my Puppy Guts on. It is such an all encompassing negativity spiral that infects and poisons everything. Anger and hate and all that crap is just not healthy. Holding onto it is even worse. We've been on a path together to try and let go of anger and hate...
Do I have my good days and bad days? Of course I do. I'm only human. But it seems my bad days aren't quite as bad any more and I find myself laughing about certain things that used to bother me a whole hell of a lot more.
People and their stupidity, situations that are beyond my control, things going on in my own backyard as well as in the world at large. Am I all Zen and love everybody? Hell no! But I am finding that I don't get the anxiety attacks I used to, I'm sleeping a lot better, I laugh a lot more and I'm happier about the things I have and don't worry too much about the things I don't.
Puppy Guts has been making slow progress, but it's still progress and I have to say, I've never been more proud to call myself his girl. It shows in the time that we spend together, it shows in the way he's living his life and it show in the way he interacts with the other people around him. He also has his good days and his bad days, but all things considered, we're still chugging along and making the best of it.
What's really awesome is that I know that it's because it IS him that I can. I've said it before and I'll say it all again: This brave soul loves me unconditionally, appreciates me for who and what I am and despite the insanity that is my life at the moment, he is a constant source of strength when I feel mine faltering, of courage when mine escapes me, of support when I feel I'm falling, of laughter when I am sad, of stability when I feel like I'm losing my mind. I always feel loved, wanted, needed, appreciated, beautiful, thought about and never forgotten whether he is sitting next to me or he's not. I never have to question how he feels about me because he let's me know everyday, he shows me every day. Isn't that the way it should be?
Sure, there are plenty of things that piss me off, but because I have all of those things in Lucky and the best kids on the face of the planet (despite the fact that they can drive me nuts sometimes), I won't give anger the power by letting it affect me.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Shhhh! I'm hiding!



I said, "Shhhhh!" I hafta go to the dentist... I don't wanna... So I'm hiding... They take courses in "You chose to be a dentist because you enjoy sadism", "How to make things hurt more", "Pointy things and how to use them to effectively cause pain", "'Fuck novacaine! You don't need novacaine! This'll only take a second!' and other lies to tell your patients", and "Advanced 'unnecessary procedures' and how to make it seem like they need it".
Okay... It's just for an x-ray and a look see for the tooth abscess now that the swelling has gone down, but still.... Then of course, there will be the scheduling of a root canal... Dun, dun, Dahhhhhhhh <Dramatic Reverb!> Although from how I understand it, it's not quite the nightmare it used to be. It might suck to be me for a couple of hours at worst and I go on about my life. That'd be awesome.
It's not that I'm a dentist pansy or anything, but I have to admit, that tooth pain thing is a friggin' nightmare. Considering the fact that I have given birth four times, that tooth pain was wretched! And I felt like such a wuss because I let the tooth pain kick my ass! But on the other hand, I couldn't help it! It sucked! It was tear jerking, nausea inducing, screaming, don't-want-to-move-lest-you-anger-the-pain kind of agony!
That weekend, percocet, Anbesol and warm compresses were my best friends, I prayed regularly at the porcelain altar, where I sacrificed the contents of my stomach countless times and Lucky was the guardian angel who stood over me and took care of me when I was in my most pathetic state EVER!
So, the thought of going to the dentist and incurring the wrath of that tooth pain again doesn't sit well with me... Shit...
Okay? So just... Shhhhhhhh! I'm hiding!


As as Post Script.... I went to the dentist and it turns out that I have a wicked sinus infection that's  fucking up the feng shui of everything else in my head. Ear, tooth, jaw, gums, and all the surrounding tissue... I DON'T need a root canal because apparently, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY TEETH or anything else except the stupid sinuses... I damn near punched the poor woman in the face when she started tapping the ouchie tooth with some metal tool of torture... Tooth pain sucks...

Sunday, April 3, 2011

You never have to look too far...



I had no words when I saw this. When I tell you, "You can find just about ANYTHING for sale on the net!" I'm not kidding. This is just one of those things...

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Men...



In going to the grocery store the other day, I saw the stupidity of a man who's "idiot" was spot on. I've been feeling less than 100% this last week. Between trying to fight off a cold, an abscessed tooth that kicked my ass, the meds to take care of said abscessed tooth and the day to day insanity, I will admit... This week, I am beat.
So I get to the grocery store, my nose is running, my face is still kind of puffy and red, I look a mess, I feel like crap and I have the nasally, stuffed up nose, whiny three year old tone to my voice. It's awesome.
Going across the parking lot, I came across a male individual who thought it would be a nice idea to hit on me... By making kissy noises, referring to me as "Hey, baby!" and describing the things he would like to do to me to "rock my world" and making lewd gestures. My response? I laughed. Hysterically. I mean pointing and laughing and howling. It felt great. I even thanked the guy for giving me the laugh because I had such a crappy week. He walked away quickly and quietly, without another word.
Why is it that some men feel the need to do stuff like that... Seriously... What was I really supposed to do? Swoon? I don't fuckin' think so. Has it ever worked? I would really hate to think that there are women out there who would be all over that and get all giggly and stupid and consider breeding with such losers.... But then...
The world is getting worse all the time and it seems to me that there is a HUGE need for a culling of the population. Politically incorrect to say? Perhaps. On the other side of that, I'm not exactly the most "politically correct" person on the planet either.... Just sayin'....

Friday, April 1, 2011

April Fool's Day!



It being the first of April and all, I thought I would address the whole April fools/ practical joker/ ha ha ha thing. For the most part, I don't get it. It's not that I lack a sense of humor or anything like that and I can laugh at myself better than the next guy... (If you lived a day in my life, you'd understand why I laugh so much!)
It's basically a day where you can come up with the most outrageous fib, but on this day all they have to do is turn around and say "April Fools!" and get away with it. Not amusing... And I know quite a few many people who fib about shit every day and I have to tell you, that's not too amusing either...
Meh... It's just a day like any other if you think about it... I swear on all things holy, I will knock out the next fucker that tries to shake my hand with one of those hand buzzers.  Once I plant my fist firmly into that moron's face, I'm going to turn around and say "April Fools! How'd that work out for ya, dipshit!" I hate people.