Shhhh! I'm hiding!

I said, "Shhhhh!" I hafta go to the dentist... I don't wanna... So I'm hiding... They take courses in "You chose to be a dentist because you enjoy sadism", "How to make things hurt more", "Pointy things and how to use them to effectively cause pain", "'Fuck novacaine! You don't need novacaine! This'll only take a second!' and other lies to tell your patients", and "Advanced 'unnecessary procedures' and how to make it seem like they need it".
Okay... It's just for an x-ray and a look see for the tooth abscess now that the swelling has gone down, but still.... Then of course, there will be the scheduling of a root canal... Dun, dun, Dahhhhhhhh <Dramatic Reverb!> Although from how I understand it, it's not quite the nightmare it used to be. It might suck to be me for a couple of hours at worst and I go on about my life. That'd be awesome.
It's not that I'm a dentist pansy or anything, but I have to admit, that tooth pain thing is a friggin' nightmare. Considering the fact that I have given birth four times, that tooth pain was wretched! And I felt like such a wuss because I let the tooth pain kick my ass! But on the other hand, I couldn't help it! It sucked! It was tear jerking, nausea inducing, screaming, don't-want-to-move-lest-you-anger-the-pain kind of agony!
That weekend, percocet, Anbesol and warm compresses were my best friends, I prayed regularly at the porcelain altar, where I sacrificed the contents of my stomach countless times and Lucky was the guardian angel who stood over me and took care of me when I was in my most pathetic state EVER!
So, the thought of going to the dentist and incurring the wrath of that tooth pain again doesn't sit well with me... Shit...
Okay? So just... Shhhhhhhh! I'm hiding!


As as Post Script.... I went to the dentist and it turns out that I have a wicked sinus infection that's  fucking up the feng shui of everything else in my head. Ear, tooth, jaw, gums, and all the surrounding tissue... I DON'T need a root canal because apparently, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY TEETH or anything else except the stupid sinuses... I damn near punched the poor woman in the face when she started tapping the ouchie tooth with some metal tool of torture... Tooth pain sucks...