Gotta slow things down a bit...

Let's all catch up on some reading about "Life of Mia", yeah? Believe me when I say, I have got a whole bunch of shit I've got to say... About a lot of things... But me tired.... I want to rant about things, but I am supposed to keep my mouth shut... I want to spill my guts about other things, but not yet... I want to rave and go nuts and go on a verbal tirade about so much... But it has to wait... Me tired.... Me go bed bed... Hold my calls will ya Sweetheart? I'll be back in a few.... ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Lucky to the rescue!

So, the other day, a bunch of kids were outside playing in Lucky's neighborhood. No big deal... Just like any neighborhood where there are kids. A bunch of kids playing football in adjoining yards. A fun time for all... Until...
One of he kids apparently took a digger. A good one. The kid, about 14 years old, could be heard screaming throughout the neighborhood... Never a good thing. The boy had landed on a rock... With his leg... Sphincter puckering, no? Ouch.
Lucky goes charging out, assesses the situation, keeps the boy calm and splints up the leg while the other kids go tell the boy's parents.  Lucky then carries the 14 year old boy through the yard to get the boy into his mom's waiting car so she could rush her son to the hospital...
Turned out to be a bone chip... Fuckin' ouch! (Hope you get better soon, kid!)
Lucky says he didn't help out much, but for me it's another moment I am proud to be able to say, "Yeah, I'm his girl!"

Wait for it... WAIT FOR IT!

There are the moments that you KNOW something is going to happen and you KNOW that it's going to be funny as hell... Do you say something or do you sit back and watch so you can giggle about it... Kinda hard to judge sometimes, no?
One the one hand,  you might be staining the karma if you sat back and watched, just to be able to get some kind of amusement. On the other hand, maybe what's happening is something coming back on someone who deserved it. Then you have to think, "Would it stain my karma if I prevented this occurrence because this person really deserved it?"
It's not like I would sit back and watch someone get hurt, especially if it was a child. I wouldn't stand by if I saw someone was truly in danger. I couldn't stand by if the "Mia senses" were tingling and I knew something was way wrong...
I think about this stuff way too much. I do. I know I do. I know that there are karmic issues that I have to make up for and I do try, especially when I know there is something I can do about it. Some of the times it's appreciated and other times... Not so much, but that doesn't mean I won't keep trying.
Lucky and I have been trying, as of late, to make sure that we do what we can to fix some karmic issues and so far it's been working out. It's really not a big deal for the most part, but there's some satisfaction sometimes in doing the right thing. There's enough "wrong doing" in the world lately. I'm not talking about the big things. Just the little things that I see that really makes me  believe that most people in general are shallow, self centered, whiny, cowardly crybabies with entitlement complexes.
It's not like I think EVERYONE is this way, but how many times a day, being out and about, have you thought, "That person is such an ASSHOLE!" Then compare it to the number of times you think, "Wow! That person was friggin' AWESOME!" Yeah... That's where I'm going with this...
I may not be the awesome person every single time, but I am trying not to be that asshole too. I still have moments... I'm not looking to become a saint. It's not in my nature, but I do not want being an asshole all the time to be on my conscience when the light goes out. I'm really NOT the soulless, life sucking, evil creature from the fire pits of the bowels of hell that some people have painted me out to be... For the most part...

One word Answers...

USING ONLY ONE WORD! It's not as easy as you might think! Another one of those things on the FB... Lists are so fuckin' awesome!

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Your significant other? YUMMY!
3. Your hair? Purple
4. Your mother? NUTS!
5. Your father? Away!
6. Your favorite thing? Bacon
7. Your dream last night? ...Private...
8. Your favorite drink? Please!
9. Your dream/goal?PUBLISHED
10. What room you are in? Bedroom
11. Your hobby? Hmm...
12. Your fear? Failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? "Home"
14. Where were you last night? 'Rents'
16. Muffins? Buttered
17. Wish list item? House
18. Where you grew up?Stamford
19. Last thing you did? This
20. What are you wearing? chapstick...
21. Your TV? Unplugged
22. Your pets? Otis
23. Friends? Awesome
24. Your life? Better
25. Your mood? Improving
26. Missing someone? Always...
27. Car?Chevelle
28. Something you're not wearing? Lucky...
29. Your favorite store?  http://www.gourmetfoodstore.com/ (Hey... No spaces, so it counts as one word, right?)
30. Your favorite color? Blue
33. When is the last time you laughed? chickenbutt...    (now)
34. Last time you cried? Monday
35. Who will resend this? Nobody
36. One place that I go to over and over?Kitchen
37. One person who emails me regularly? Lucky
38. Favorite place to eat? Home
39. Why you participated in this survey? LIST!
40. What are you doing tonight? Recooperating

Are people just nuts?

I realize that the answer is yes, but when you add a whole lot of booze to the mix...
So, Lucky was out on a call... I know that I have mentioned in passing that he works in a rich little neighborhood with multi-gojillionaires living lives that only multi-gojillionaires can... A woman and her daughter, both a little nutty to begin with, go out and buy the most expensive champagne... Not just a bottle or two, but like a case of it.... Then they drink it all up getting all hammered... Then, it begins... They start arguing and fighting and the babysitters... I mean the police get summoned. If you've ever had to deal with drunk people... Well, it ain't fun. But to have to deal with drunk people because you HAVE to... Even MORE not fun... At least he gets to lay down the legal spankin' upon them...
Sorry you had to deal with icky people, Baby! I've got a hug waitin' for you! XOXOX

Can I have some?

Nom, nom, nom... Om, nom, nom, nom...
Ever go out to eat when you're super mega  hungry and everything that you see on OTHER people's plates while you're being escorted to your table looks SOOOOOOOOO yummy tasty? I almost get tempted to ask if I can get a bite or even take the plate and eat it all up... It goes along with my theory that EVERYTHING tastes better when it comes off of someone else's plate... It's true though... I know you agree with me!

It's been a while since I cut loose and ranted...

I want to... Really I do... There is so much I'd like to say about certain things... But I have been told to keep my mouth shut for a little while longer... Just a little while longer... It's gonna be awesome! The dam is going to explode and the verbal tirade is going to rush forth... I really wish I had a better hobby...

WAAAAAAAY TOO EARLY!

Bad night... No sleep... Woke up before alarm went off... That BAD!  Where my coffee at? Grr....

Ungh... I hate being sick...

Me no feel good.... Me gots cold... Ungh! Me wants go back bed-bed. Leave me alone. Go away... No post today.

I've got ideas for books 6 and 7...

... and the basic outlines are scribbled down on several pieces of paper, a cardboard box and a couple of paper napkins... But I STILL don't have a friggin' title... This is starting to suck rather large donkey balls... Can't I just call it Book 1, Book 2, Book 3... Seriously... Can I?

I wuboo, mama!

There ARE moments when a simple kiss, hug and an "I love you" can make everything all better...
So there I was feeling all "Blah!", coming down with a bit of a cold and crampy as all get out sipping on a cup of tea. I got the boys off to school and it was just my daughter and I sitting and watching Spongebob while she ate brekkies. She looks over at me and says, "What wong, mommeeee?" To which my response was, "BLAAAAAAAAAAAH!" She got up out of her chair, gave me a big giant baby hug and gave me a sloppy, maple syrup sticky kiss and said, "I WUBOO Mama!" and went back about her business. <Sniffle!>
It was the... uh... steam from my lukewarm tea that made my eyes a little watery... I swear.

Kissy kissy, boo boo!

In sticking with that, after a long day of getting all the Monday morning insanity out of the way, walking the dog in the rain, errands done, shopping, laundry, dishes, garbage, walking the dog in the rain,  lunch, clean, make beds, walking the dog in the rain, go to the bus stop to pick up kids, walking the dog in the rain, going to the store (as promised after a rough trip to the dentist) making supper, setting up the new toy, walking the dog in the rain, I was still feeling crampy and nursing a cold... Lucky came by for a visit before he went off work. Despite the "Eeyew!" of my appearance and the state of my "-Ness", nose all running and red, hair all messed up, sweats and a t-shirt, sweating and crummy... He didn't fail to give me a hug and a kiss and tell me he loves me... "Aww!" Right?

We got CARDED!!!!!

At... Well, let's just say, older than 21... Lucky and I got carded... Twice in one day! I know it's the simple pleasures in life and quite honestly, the people who were doing the carding were probably doing it to give the thirty-somes a thrill for the day... Whatever! I don't care. We got carded twice in one day!

THAT was funny!

I don't know why I find amusement at other people's expenses sometimes... It might be hereditary or it might be some lingering bitterness that I still harbor... Regardless of the fact, at least I can admit it. So, walking along at the super market I noticed a lady who had a shopping cart full of... Well... Everything. Things were precariously balanced and stacked high... Disaster waiting to happen... Oh, it does too... So she's pushing the cart along, oh so gently, every once in a stopping to re-balance something and recalibrate the feng shui of the items in her cart... Not really a good idea when the grocery store is full of people who just want to get their shit and get the fuck out...
It was like watching an accident waiting to happen. People are getting annoyed with this woman because she is taking up far too much space and it's hard to get by her... Then it happens... She stops and as she goes around to redo the stacks a little, someone almost runs into her coming from the opposite direction... She was so startled by this guy, I swear she must have jumped up and back about two feet. The look on her face was priceless. She looked like a bulldog being blasted in the face with a high powered leaf blower. In her excitement she knocked off the half gallon bottle of juice, a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread off the top of her piled high cart... Clean up in aisle 4!
Stained the karma, I'm sure, even though I TRIED to giggle on the inside.

Go do something spontaneous... RIGHT NOW!

It doesn't have to be anything huge, it doesn't have to be anything dangerous or extravagant or outrageous... Something simple... Bust into song in the middle of a super market... Start a line dance in the parking lot of a department store... Fart and giggle about it when you're sitting by yourself...
Sometimes it pays to go a little bit bigger too... Crash a party and make friends with whoever is there... Go somewhere you've never been... Make up a game and get some other people to play it with you...
Or go WAY big and update the passport and go off on a trip... Learn to fly... Streak naked across the White House lawn... 
Hey, you only live once...

Mornings suck...

Some days there is just not enough coffee to fuel the body and mind... Lack of sleep, too much stress, the rigmarole of everyday life... Whatever... But ain't nobody gonna tell me that whatever shit that needed to get done didn't get done, especially if it was for the kids. I won't ever be that guy.

There is still hope for MY boys!

Lucky and his brothers didn't ALWAYS get along when they were younger... And yet now, they are pretty tight. It kind of gives me a little hope for the future as my three boys are constantly bickering and fighting and being mean to each other and getting each other into trouble and sniping at each other and throwing things and taking things from each other and being all around pains in each others' rear ends...
I'm told that it's normal and that's what boys do... That's what brothers do. Eventually, as brothers, they will come together and learn to get along and even become very good friends... Cool. I look forward to seeing it some day in the future. Now, the only thing of it is... My three boys also have a baby sister... How does that fit into the mix?

Fightin' dirty ain't just for the street...

Ow! OW! OW! LEGGO!!!
It seems that fighting dirty isn't just for the street any more... I'm not talking about the crotch shots, kidney punches and dirty shots. I am talking about the hair pulling, toe biting, face licking, eye poking chest scratching, wedgie giving knock down/ drag outs!
I was driving by a preschool and I guess the children were outside doing the recess thing... There was a whole slew of four year-olds, maybe seven all together, going to town, beating the ever loving crap out of each other... The preschool teachers were fit to be tied and were grabbing and separating while taking on some pretty brutal shots as well... Whoa! Preschool! And I thought junior high schools and high schools were getting tougher...

Vanilla Ice Cream...

I have to say that vanilla ice cream has to be my favorite hands down... I know that there are a gajillion flavors out there, but there really isn't one as versatile as just plain ol' vanilla... You can have it plain, you can have it with choco goo goo sauce, caramel goo goo sauce, strawberry goo goo sauce, any flavored goo goo sauce you can think of! Top it off with any variety of nuts, banana slices, powdered green tea, crushed hot pepper, sprinkles, cookie dough, bugs, dirt... Mix in chunks of Oreos, your favorite chocolate bar, fresh fruits, cake, frozen frosting... It doesn't matter! Vanilla is not so overpowering that you can't taste the flavor what you're adding, but the back end gives you a nice clean vanilla hit in the back of your head... Nice... I'm not about the "complicated" when it comes to the ice cream though. I like vanilla.

My car, Bacon...

The reason why she's called "Bacon" is because she has a wide ass. She eats like one and goes through fuel like it ain't no body's business. She's a big fat porker with a surprising amount of get up and go... Point "A" to point "B".... She gets us there safely. I guess that's what matters... She's going to need to prove herself over the winter if she wants to stay though... The monthly payments are a little steep...

Explanation!

I'm not asking for much... Really. Just a simple explanation... Not excuses, not whining, not "poor me", not "...but it's YOUR fault because... I don't know why. It just is!". I am not asking for anything other than an honest explanation.  I'm tired of the stupid, meow-meow, whiny baby, sorry ass excuses that rush forth every single time the mouth opens up. Nope! DO NOT WANT! Nobody else wants to hear it either... How's that for an eye opener?

LOOK MA! NO HANDS!!!! Ouch! Medic....

We've all had that moment. We think we're about to do something awesome and it would have been if it weren't for the absolute and total fuck up... In the south I'm told it's called the, "Hey, Bobby-Jo... Hold mah beer and come 'n' take a looksee here at what I'm a gonna do!"
Yeah... I had one...
While playing ball outside... Pop fly... I ran forward and dove for it... Onto pavement.
It would have been so awesome if it was on grass or something AND I had caught and held onto the ball... Nope. I got nothing. I took a flying leap, bobbled the ball, dropped it and hit pavement... Thankfully I was able to stop the fall with my face...

Buffalo Wild Wings... You should go!

Lucky and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings (Milford, CT)... Our waiter was FUCKIN' AWESOME! He looked a lot like Seth Green... Who doesn't like Seth Green? Really! Take it up with me... I dare you... Seriously... We had the most outrageously YUMMY wings and nachos. Did I mention our waiter was FUCKIN' AWESOME?!! His name is Pat and you better treat him right! If you don't, he has "the card". He will use it... We will come for you... 'Nuff said. 
Thanks so much Pat! You really did save us! We were either makin' friends or enemies that night! You're awesome! We'll be back... 
Hopefully he won't be all, "Oh, JEEZ! Not these guys again!"

Them is fightin' words!

There are some things that, when said, can raise the hackles and bring out the claws... Things can go from "Fine..." to "Shit... This is Fan..." in an instant and there really is no turning back...

1.) ...well, then BRING IT, BIOTCH!

2.) Anything that starts with "Your mother is..."      No one insults my mom but ME!

3.) Oh, you WILL do what I'm telling you to do, you stupid BITCH!

4.) Whoa! That last piece of pizza is MINE!

5.)Ditto: Last cup of coffee.

6.)We deserved what happened on 9/11...

7.)...and then I'm gonna kick your dog!

8.)I don't think you can!

9.) YOU AIN'T GOT THE BALLS!!!!

10.)<Slap!> Whadju think of THAT?

Sure, there are SO many things that can set a person off... I think these top off most or all lists, no?

Moments that make you want to stand up and cheer...

Scenes from a movie, events in the news, occurrences in everyday life... There were moments when there was a collective "YESSSSSSSS!!!" maybe followed up by the leg kick or the pumping of a fist, a stand up and cheer, a jump up and down, or a little happy dance... C'mon! We've all had a little moment... (A list! I LOVE lists!) Here we go:
1.) In 300... "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!" Yeah... I think I would've popped a boner if I had a cock...
2.) Ten fingers, ten toes... Healthy as could be!
3.) Saddam Hussein gets found in a hole, dirty, unkempt and in a state not fit for a brutal, fascist DICK-tator who tortured and killed his own people as well as others.
Don't get me started... Really... Just don't...
4.) That's right PUSSY! You just got BEAT DOWN by a GIRL half your size!
5.)The movie "Man on Fire"... Do I need to say more?
6.) Ditto "Taken".
7.) Rachel got off the plane! SHE GOT OFF THE PLANE! (Sorry...)
8.) Mia! The newest Dresden is due to come out on XX/XX/20XX!
9.) USA beats Russia in Olympic Hockey!
10.) Do you remember when Geraldo took a chair to the face?
11.)Divorce granted!

Sigh... It's so quiet! It's creepin' me out!

With the kids up visiting with their dad for the weekend, the house is eerily quiet... No fighting, no door slamming, no one asking me for something, no laundry, no dishes, no garbage, no screaming, no crying, no "MOM! He just 'cheese touch'-ed me!" (I am still not quite sure what a "cheese touch" is...), no being called a dork...
I'll take the nuttiness any day... I miss them terribly and it's only been seven hours... <Sigh!> Sunday's just around the corner, right?

A prayer for my Myra...

I know I've asked before, and here I am asking again... Myra Tucker is a good lady who has had a rough life. Despite the fact that she became terminally ill, she remained a very bright and hopeful woman with big heart and kind nature. My heart is breaking right now because her illness has become stronger than her... Again I am asking for a moment of your time... Just a quick little something... Well wishes or a hope that she will find peace.
My dearest Myra, may angels help you find your way because I know that they will never let you become "lost" again... I will never forget what you have given back to me. Thank you.

I ate too much....

Pork "katsu" with fresh steamed veggies, rice and miso soup... Sooooo yummy tasty good.... couldn't help myself... Still suffering.... But soooooooo worth it! Mmmm... <Urp!>

Riiiiiiiiiight...

...Because I'm just supposed to believe what you're saying, right? Maybe once I get it in writing, please... And notarized?

-You can take my word for it!     Uh, no I can't.

-Don't worry about it!     Now, I'm worried...

-I've got this!      Oh shit!

-The check is in the mail...  Uh-huh...

- Oh, wait! I had it here a minute ago...    No... No you didn't...


- I am more than capable of doing this myself!    I'll go get the first aid kit and alert the emergency room...

This is yet another post that will grow over time....

Even a tiny bit of C-4 can do damage...

I don't care how small a person is, it's never a good idea to fuck with them when they're angry... And the last thing you ever do is want to underestimate someone because of their size.
Lucky stands about 5'9". Not short, but not tall... On a call one night, a few of Ridgefield's finest were lined up against some scumbags. Lucky was the shortest one... By at least a head in some cases...
It turns out that when a scumbag is trying to flee, they always try to play "Red Rover" through the "smallest" guy... Big mistake...
Lucky may not be a tall guy, but he's built like a brick shit house... (The only other guy shorter than Lucky is "Officer Shawn" A.K.A. Officer Shawn, Zeus' handler, previously mentioned here and he's even more solid... Plus he comes with an extra 90lbs of solid muscle and teeth.) Well, adrenaline is already pumping when there's the possibility of a roll around... "Red Rover, Red Rover, let scumbag come over!" And of course, scumbag tries to go through the line at Lucky...
Let's just say, the night did not end well for said scumbag.

The "What if..." thing...

It's a burning question in all of our lives at one point in time... What if...
 I once did the "what if..." with myself during a very dark hour of my divorce and it stressed me out. I questioned the whole of my marriage and my life up until that point... And then I realized when I looked in on my children while they slept, everything was the way it was supposed to be and everything happens for a reason. I may not agree with everything that happened. Some of it out and out sucks, but as far as having been married? If you knew my kids, you'd understand. That is one "What if..." I'll not have to go over ever again. I don't play "what if" any more... Don't need to. I'm right where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

25 Things about me...

Another one of those "Getting to know you..." things... I'm getting hooked on these! They're actually really, really fun... Fun to share as well as fun to reflect and maybe learn a little bit about yourself! This is another one I found while tooling around on that Facebook thing, which I'm still trying to figure out... It's been an epic fail.... Blogging is so much easier...

As the title insinuates... A list of 25 things about me...

1.) I hate yelling. It makes my head hurt. I do it often because I have four kids... Who are selectively deaf... And are being told by a nameless someone that they "don't have to listen to mommy..."

2.) My nose was broken twice (once in a fight and once in a football game) and I still have the bump and my nose is still crooked. I won't get it fixed because I wear it like a badge of honor. I won the fight and I played through to the end of the game...

3.) I'm stubborn as all get out. (No, not you! Mia, that's ridiculous!) No, it's true! I don't like being told to do anything or go anywhere or told what I can or can't do, I don't do well with taking orders or commands, and I will challenge everything. And if I know I'm right? Hell hath no greater fury...

4.) Despite the fact that I don a lot of pink, my favorite color is blue. Not just any blue. It's the blue of the sky on the first bright spring day of the year... That bright not too light, not too dark blue that can make you happy all over...

5.) I won't back down from a fight. I did for a time, but in the usual definition of what a "Mia" is: "will not back down"... I found what was lost. I'm ready to get back into the ring.

6.) I play the piano and the guitar. I'm in no way musically gifted, but I do alright.

7.)I have NO sense of rhythm what so ever. I cannot dance to save anyone's life. I'm a spaz beyond belief and I will hurt people out on a dance floor. As a matter of fact, I have...

8.)I cannot carry a tune or sing. It's wretched awful. People will run away screaming if I try... It's bad... So I don't.

9.) I used to watch Jerry Springer RELIGIOUSLY. I couldn't help myself. I just needed to SEE that there were people who were worse off than myself.

10.) My favorite food in the history of forever is the Arby's Roast beef sandwich (The BIG MONTANA) with horsey sauce and tons of Arby's sauce... I know. With all the food in all the world and it had to be Arby's..

11.) I'm not a huge fan of chocolate. I like it and I'll eat it, but, eh... If I never have it again, I wouldn't lose my mind or anything... Caramel on the other hand... I will beat you with a claw hammer for it.

12.) If I could live out the rest of my life wearing slippers and jams, I would. Not just any slippers and jams though. Pink floppy eared bunny slippers and my Hello Kitty jams. Yeah... That would rock!

13.) I don't like the number 13... It's a thing. I have O.C.D. and numbers do strange things to me. I don't like the numbers 4 or 42 either. It used to be a lot more complicated, but I'm getting better.

14.) I like Spaghetti-O's with cut up hot dogs... Every once in a while, I'll buy a can and eat them... By myself... In the closet... Where no one can see me... And I don't have to share...

15.) I once broke my finger on a Nerf football... I'm a spaz like that...

16.) I once quit driving for a week and a half because I hit a squirrel. It was wretched awful because I swore he looked me right in the eyes right before I hit him...

17.) My most favorite words in the English language are "bellybutton", "nipple" and "sloppy"... I don't know why... The first two are hard to use in every day conversation and the last one... Well, I guess it depends. They're just fun to say...

18.) I like to name inanimate objects. Examples: My car's name is "Bacon". My bat that I keep next to the bed is named "Ashley". I have a rock that I keep in the car who's name is "Fred". My pillow is named "Harvey".

19.) My favorite joke is the one about the monkey, the cue ball and the peanut.

20.) I've mentioned my dislike of hummus a few times, but another thing I cannot eat are peas. I don't like peas... They're evil you know...

21.) I told my kids when we do the Christmas thing, it's not Santa that comes to the house. We do the whole "Christmas morning" the weekend before the actual holiday and I told them "Santa's busy"... We have a confused magical Christmas elf named Randy... He likes to hide all the presents like Easter eggs all around the house... The kids get a real kick out of it! I think it may just be that I'm trying to rebel against the idea of Christmas. I hate it ya know...

22.) I love reading, but I get all depressed when I finish a book... Especially if it's a new one... Thankfully, I forget a lot of the details or what happens in the end, so I can pick it up and read it again a few months down the line and it's like I'm reading it again for the first time!

23.) I am a closet Adam Sandler movie fan... I loved Happy Gilmore and Little Nicky... I love stupid movies in general... Something about not having to think too much and sitting and giggling like an idiot for an hour and a half or so...

24.)I was married... Twice. I'm friends with the first one on Facebook... The second one? Yeah.... No...

25.) I once got bitten by a frog. Now, I'm told that this is a rather rare occurrence, but I disagree. I was poking a frog in the head with my finger and it bit me...I'm a frog poker... I'm a frog poker that got bit by a frog...

Epic Fail....

Even the animal kingdom thinks you're an idiot... I won't say it... I won't blog about it... I won't give specific details... You KNOW who you are... You KNOW what you did... My satisfaction comes from knowing that it was YOUR epic fail!
Have fun with that one!

Nya nya ni nya nya!

There is nothing more satisfying than an "IN YOUR FACE!" moment...
I know that it's just "sooooooo kindergarten" to stick your tongue out at someone and say "Nya nya ni boo boo!" but there is a certain satisfaction in doing so, isn't there? It's not like saying "Ha! Go FUCK YOURSELF!" but it is... I think there are some times or certain situations that  just call for the 5 year old playground retort. It can be more of an insult sometimes when used properly. Give it a try!

Unsolicited advice from strangers...

No thanks. I'm good... Really. Now go away...
I really hate some of those complete strangers who come up to you and give you advice about stuff that really should remain in the "It's none of your fucking business!" category... Another one of my "I'm just sayin'..." things.

Still no title...

I managed to set up a separate computer tower with a whole set up JUST for the damn book series... It's been slow going but I think I making progress... Baby steps, baby steps...
I want to have something done so that I can hand each of the kids a printed and bound "book" for Christmas... Problem is I STILL DON'T HAVE A FRIGGIN' TITLE FOR THE FRIGGIN' THING AND ....... GAAAAAAAH!
It'll come to me... It'll come to me...

Worst night of sleep EVER!

I am talking in the history of forever, ever, ever... I would give my left one, so to speak, to be able to crawl my carcass back into bed and sleep until next Thursday...
Ever have one of those nights when EVERYTHING wakes you up... Cars going up the road, the dog snoring, the creaking  of the house, the wind blowing outside, a cricket farting...  Then when I finally knocked out, the littlest one had me up at the crack of dawn... Good times.
Coffee GOOOOOOOD..... Double scoops of everything...

PMS...

There are certain times of the month when I just don't wanna NOTHIN'. I don't want to know, I don't want to hear, I don't wanna NOTHIN'.
Then I get hugs from the little ones... They always spoil my crankiness...
If you met the four of them, you couldn't help but smile too...

Bah! Humbug!

Have I mentioned that I HATE Christmas? Yeah, I do. It's become such a material,  overly commercialized holiday! It's disgusting! Don't get me wrong. My kids get TWO separate "Christmases" every year (one the weekend before and one on the day) and they get the stuff that they put on their lists (within reason), but honestly... Christmas lost the "birth of Christ" theme and somewhere along the line became the pagan "trees and lights and decorations and presents and Santa and elves and reindeer and candy and cookies and cake and junk and stuff" holiday.
People are all "I love Christmas!It's my favorite holiday!" Can it! Seriously. Decorating it (poorly) to make it look like the house that Christmas throws up in every year... There's more elegance in simplicity...
It's September! And there's Christmas stuff out... I want to scream! Ugh! Can I just get through Halloween first? Gaaaah!

I beg your pardon?

Whudju jus' say?
Not MY pre-teen, but the one down the street decided to drop the "F" bomb upon me... Even MY pre-teen got the look of "Oh, Shit! Dude! You did NOT just go there!"
It's not that I fear the "F" word. Fuckity, fuckity, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fucking fuck, fuck! Fucked fucker!... I mean really. But I do not need some snot nosed, punk ass little bitch telling me to shut the fuck up because I told him not to throw rocks into the street as cars were passing by. Without another word, I went down the street and questioned the boy's mother... Questioned her parenting, shook my head quite a bit, cast her some judgmental looks... Then threw my hands up in the air and said, "Well, he's your son. Handle it however you want..." and walked away...
She was already mortified when I told her what happened. (One of those uptight parents...) But I think I may have fried her brain when I  questioned her parenting... Not one of mine... Someone else's problem... I have my own to worry about.

Oh, for PETE'S SAKE!!!!!!!!

At least this time around, I was NOT the victim of the pre-teen's temper tantrum...
The kids were playing together, which is cool... Until the pre-teen "accidentally" farted. The three others thought it was hysterical and within seconds, they were HOWLING. Pre-teen threw a fit and stormed away, went to his room and slammed the door... The three other children are still laughing... Apparently, farting, in the adolescent world, isn't cool and playing with younger siblings is lame too... Go figure!

If you're happy and you know it....

Keep it to your damn self... I'm too busy being cranky to care... Now go away. You're ruining my perfectly bad mood...

The "44 Odd Things About You!" email...

44 ODD Things about you! If you read this, DO THE THING! Learn 44 things about your friends, and let them learn 44 things about you!

1. Do you like Bleu Cheese? Spread all over a nice chop, pan seared in a rosemary infused olive oil with a touch of salt and pepper...
2. Have you ever been drunk? Duh!
3. Do you own a gun? I'm not at liberty to say...
4. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite? EEEYEW! I'd rather swallow a spoonful of sugar and chase it down with cow pee!
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not any more...
6. What do you think of hot dogs? They're adorable! Mine's 17 years old!

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Christmas... Yuck... Although I loved Nightmare Before Christmas.... It would have ROCKED if Jack Skellington won!
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? SUPER strong cup of coffee, light and super sweet.
9. Can you do push ups? How many do you want?
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My ring.
11. Favorite Hobby ? Oooh... I tried to cover this in a previous post... I haven't come up with anything yet...
12. Do you have A.D.D? There are so many things that get blanketed under the whole A.D.D. thing that it seems impossible to judge whether a person has.... Hey LOOK! A Chicken!
13. What are your favorite shoes? I hate shoes.  
14. Middle name? I don't have one...
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? Is there bacon? Um... gee what should I put... Hey LOOK! A Chicken!
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? coffee, bourbon, water
17. Current worry? What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
18. Current hate right now? I can't figure out the Facebook thing......
20. How did you bring in the New Year?  Uh... Properly.
21. Where would you like to go? Out of my mind... Hey, I'll be back in a few!
22. Name three people who will complete this? Well, since this is a post I doubt anyone will take the time to... Hey LOOK! A chicken!
23. Do you own slippers? Many...
24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? Black with Gir. It says DOOMED! Gir rocks.
25. Do you like sleeping on Satin sheets? No. I prefer crisp linen.
26. Can you whistle? Yup.
27. Favorite color? Blue
28. Would you be a pirate? Arrrg! I mean uh... No. 
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't want my ears to bleed, so I don't.
30. Favorite Girl's Name? Annabelle
31. Favorite boy's name? Jasper
32. What's in your pocket right now? Cell phone, knife, another knife, seventeen cents, a receipt and a gum wrapper oh and look! A chicken!
33. Last thing that made you laugh? Hearing about Lucky's daughter and the motion detecting Halloween decoration.
34. Best bed sheets as a child? Sesame Street
35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child? I didn't suffer too many serious injuries until AFTER high school...
36. Do you love where you live? Um... No.
38. Who is your loudest friend? The imaginary friend I have living in my head. His name is Eddie. He likes show tunes.
39. How many CATS do you have? Three in the fridge and one on the grill right now... Mmmm. Cat... The OTHER white meat!
40. Does someone have a crush on you? Um... No. Go away...
41. What is your favorite book? The Dresden Files
42. What is your favorite candy? Twix
43. Favorite Sports Team? I'd rather be outside playing
44. What song do you want played at your funeral ? Ride of the Valkyries.

More stuff to think about...

This is something that was sent along to me... Try and tell me that I'm just paranoid... Read here and here  to see where I'm coming from... Then read this...

Important to read, this is serious and not a joke.
Subject: Muslim women
Some sobering thoughts.....(as it indicates it is written by a Muslim woman)

Joys of A Muslim Woman........................ by Nonie  Darwish
In the Muslim faith  a Muslim man can marry a child as young as 1  year old and have sexual intimacy with this  child.  Consummating the marriage by  9.
The dowry is given to  the family in exchange for the woman (who  becomes his slave)  and for the  purchase of the private parts of the woman,  to use her as a  toy.
Even though a woman  is abused she can not obtain a  divorce.
To prove rape, the  woman must have (4) male  witnesses.
Often after a woman  has been raped, she is returned to her family  and the family must return the dowry.   The family has the right to execute her (an  honor killing) to restore the honor of the  family.
Husbands can beat  their wives 'at will' and he does not have to  say why he has beaten  her.

The husband is  permitted to have (4 wives) and a temporary wife  for an hour (prostitute) at his  discretion.
The Shariah Muslim  law controls the private as well as the public  life of the  woman.
In the Western  World ( America ) Muslim men are starting to  demand Shariah Law so the wife can not  obtain a divorce and he can have full and  complete control of her.  It is  amazing and alarming how many of our  sisters and daughters attending American  Universities are now marrying Muslim men  and submitting themselves and their children  unsuspectingly to  the
Shariah  law.
By passing this on,  enlightened Canadian and American women may avoid becoming a  slave under Shariah  Law.
Learn More.....  Read: Cruel and Usual Punishment just released  in  most bookstores. Ripping the West in  Two.
Author and lecturer  Nonie Darwish says the goal of radical Islamists  is to impose Shariah law on the world,  ripping Western law and liberty  in two. She recently  authored the book, Cruel and Usual Punishment:  The Terrifying Global Implications of  Islamic Law.
Darwish was born in  Cairo and spent her childhood in Egypt and  Gaza before emigrating to America in 1978,  When she was eight years old, her father  died while leading covert attacks on Israel . He  was a high-ranking Egyptian military  officer stationed with his family in Gaza  .
When he died, he  was considered a "shahid," a martyr for jihad..  His posthumous status earned Nonie and her  family an elevated position in Muslim  society. But Darwish  developed a skeptical eye at an early age. She  questioned her own Muslim culture and  upbringing. She converted to Christianity  after hearing a Christian preacher on  television.
In her latest book,  Darwish warns about creeping sharia law - what  it is, what it means, and how it is  manifested in Islamic  countries. 
For the West, she  says radical Islamists are working to impose  sharia on the world. If that happens,  Western civilization will be  destroyed...

The day of reckoning is coming...

Just sayin'...

I'm a dork... A big one... Of biblical proportions... Again...

Is there some kind of book, an instruction manual per se, on how to cope with an adolescent? Please? Anyone? ANYONE? Is there a time table that I can refer to as to when the sudden eruptions will occur?  How about a secret decoder ring or maybe some kind of an off switch that I can have installed... No? A remote control that I can use to dial it down a little? No? Nothing? Really? And we are certain that I am NOT allowed to sell him on Ebay, right? Great... Got it... Got it... Right... Well, I guess I'm going to have to live with the fact that I am a dork... It's cool... If I have to wear the hat though, I'M gonna WEAR IT.