I was THAT guy...

While driving the kids up to East Bum-fuck to go a-visitin' with their dad for the weekend, we were on the parkway stuck in traffic moving along at a whopping 15- 20 mph... The guy in front of me stopped short, so I stopped short... The lady behind me... Well.... Not so much. She slammed into the back of the car...  Oh... No... You... DIDN'T! So I pulled onto the shoulder in the left lane, right up onto the grass, as did the lady who hit me... I put the car in park, asked the kids if they were alright, assessed that they were, I took a deep breath and got out of the car.... I could smell the anti-freeze as soon as I opened my door...

"We're okay!"

I asked her if she was okay and told her to shut off the engine and pop the hood... YIKES!  It turns out, she hit the trailer hitch on the back of my beast. Her car took a BEATIN'! The front bumper... Done. The radiator... Done. (The thing was concave... No joke!) The aluminum pipes behind the radiator... Done. There were little parts and pieces hangin' too... Done.

OUCHIE!

My poor beast? Well, her ass ain't too pretty any more... The trailer hitch took the hit, but the bumper got a few dings and a crack anyway... Ouch!
Lucky had programmed my phone with all the local P.D.'s as well as the troopers' numbers... <Ring, ring!> Because of all the Friday traffic at rush hour, it took forever. I told the lady to call for a tow truck right away because there was no way that her car was going anywhere and that she would become "that guy" twice in the course of a single afternoon... She cocked her head. "That guy"? I told her to watch the other people driving by on the road... We sat and watched....

The people all slowing down to ogle, stare, comment, beep... Yeah. Nice. Thanks people! It's not like we don't feel crappy enough! JERKS! "I see... And you think my car would stall and I'd be stuck?" she says to me... I showed her the damage to her car up close and told her... "Oh, yeah... You'd be 'that guy'... again..."
Only two cars paused to ask if everything was okay, asked if we needed help and showed any kind of concern... TWO! In the hour and some we were there... Two.

The trooper got there and took the statements, the info and wrote up the report... It only took a few minutes. He was pretty sweet about it. He had me on my way within ten minutes at most. I told him that I felt bad about leaving the lady on the side of the road, but he assured me that he wouldn't be going anywhere until the truck came to get her car to a shop...
I hope all went well. Thanks to Trooper DeSoto over at Troop G and lady, please watch where you're going next time!