Yeah... So?

I'm not saying that I accomplished much in my misspent life, but it's not to say that I don't like myself or who I am. Let's take the time to analyze this: I have four of the most awesome kids on the face of the planet who love me despite the fact that I'm a dork. If you count Lucky's kids, who seem to like me, I've got six. I've found my "other half", my soul mate, as it were, that has seen me through some pretty shitty times and some great ones, who allowed me to soar and held me close, who loves me for everything that I am and lets me know that I am his everything. I've managed to see a part of a ten year writing project come to fruition. I'm finally beginning to understand a lot of things in life, mostly in my own, that led me to be where I am now. Roller coaster ride? Absolutely. But I have no regrets.

I hear a lot about what my life should have been. Shoulda, coulda, woulda... Whatever. Not too much I can do about it. I keep moving forward because looking back really does me no amount of good. I hear about who I should be. Really? I'd rather be hated for who I really am than loved for someone that I'm not. At least that way, I know who really matters, who I need to hold close and know where it is that I need cut ties. I hear a lot about the negatives going on in my life, when I have so many things that are positives. Wallowing in negativity really does nothing for anybody anyway. I don't need the excess and I certainly don't want any excess in negativity.

I have the critics of my life and who and what I am, but I have fans too. I'm good with who and what I am even though I am still a work in progress, I can live with that. No one gets to dictate to me about who I'm supposed to be, where I need to get to and how I'm going to do it.