One of the guys....

I get told by men a lot of the time, that I'm "just like one of the guys". I take that as a compliment. Seriously. That's just cool. But seriously, DUH! I went to the best "school" around! A "dojo" called,  the tow truck shop.

I was vigorously trained by professional guys the proper nomenclature for certain of female anatomy, how to properly chug and shotgun a beer, know the rules of and play proper beer pong, quarters, and drunken lawn darts, know how to properly tap a keg. I learned how to execute the perfect burp and fart, as well as their classifications and rating structure. Although I don't have any, I did learn the importance of a good ball scratching. All the proper uses of the F word. Tits and ass scoring, the head nod greeting, solid handshake, stance, how to sit, how to walk, how to throw a punch in a street fight. The customary etiquette for being at a nudie bar and how to correctly slip a bill into a stripper's g-string and properly following it up by "slappin' that ass". That last one is probably a HUGE reason why we, or at the very least I drank for free at most of those type places...

I was the pet project around the tow shop. I was everybody's favorite "baby brother". It was rather endearing. I was one of the boys. I was groomed to be "one of the guys", which probably worked out well for me considering the fact that my friends are mostly guys and I don't really like having women friends too much because of the drama and catty bullshit. I mean, the greatest GIRLFRIEND type friendship that I had was with a gay man. That was pretty much the closest I got. I fit in very nicely with an all guy crowd because I can be one of the guys. It's a hoot.

It gets interesting when I first get introduced into a guy crowd. They pretend to be all gentlmanly and crap and shit like that. They get all nervous and shift in their seats because they think, "Shit... It's no longer a guy's night out... Well, THAT was a waste of a perfectly good 'permission slip' from the old lady..." So, I start off with the head nod greeting and the proper handshake when introduced. It helps a little. Within ten minutes, I get, "This guy is awesome! I mean... GIRL.... Bah! You know what I mean... Sorry..."

No need to apologize. And yeah, guy. Yeah I do know what you mean. It's totally cool. Awww! Thanks. :)