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Saturday, August 23, 2014

Butt Cheek Sneak.....

Have you ever smelled a fart that was so bad that it peeled off several layers of your skin, made your eyes red and start to tear and want to explode, made you see the image of Jesus playing poker with Buddha and Kali on a potato chip, made some of your hair fall out, probably shortened your life by at least three to five years, burned the hair out of your nose, made you throw up a little in your mouth, instantly killed and dropped some birds out of the sky around your house, made the neighbors call 9-1-1 thinking it was probably an act of terrorism, removed the wall paper from the walls inside the houses in a four block radius from where you are, cracked the glass in all of the picture frames around the house and made the images disappear, killed all the house plants, made the haz-mat team assemble outside your home, offended the sensibilities of proper people.... in ENGLAND, made the grass outside turn brown and die and made that soil completely barren and uninhabitable for plant life FOREVER in a one mile radius, created a visible and almost tangible haze that hung in the air like a warm, wet, rotting corpse on a hot, humid summer day, and the fumes alone will probably have caused birth defects and mutations in your general neighborhood for generations to come....

... Then you blamed someone else for it and thought, "Oh yeah! That was AWESOME!!!!!"

Guilty.

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