Christmas vs. X'mas.....

It's not to say I am a blasphemer of sorts..... It's not to say that I'm not either. I mean, I am pretty much agnostic, and when it comes to the holidays, I'm pretty much a big Bah Humbug of epic proportions, but I think I have pretty good fucking reason to be. First of all, Christmas is not REALLY Christmas. Jesus wasn't born in December..... Y'all knew that right? Christmas is actually a pagan holiday. It celebrates rape and pillaging and all around disorder and mayhem. All the "symbols" of Christmas are actually all pagan too. All you church goers are really actually going to church on December 24th and 25th for the wrong fucking reasons. And don't even get me started on that fat bastard Santa, the baby touching elf molester....

And seriously? When did the birth of Christ really become about commercialism, overspending money that you don't have, gluttony, sloth, envy, greed and whatever other sin that Jesus was against? Seems rather foolish to me that here people are celebrating their supposed "holy holiday" by doing the exact opposite of what their religious idol is telling them to do, going against EVERY belief that they supposedly have, and they start yelling at me about what an evil blasphemer I am? Hey, you know what? That may be true. I may or may not be a blasphemer, but at least I wear that shit right out in the open and don't hide what I am, unlike you hypocrites who pretend to be what y'all say you are and go against the word of your god and the very words he used to outline what a good member of the  flock should be doing. You pretend christians and pretend catholics.....  I'M going to hell? I already knew that, but it's not for the reasons ya'll might be thinking!

I mean, it's one of the holidays that supposed "Christians" and "Catholics" go to church for.... I mean, it's the only time... Unless it's to subject their children to outdated rites and rituals that really don't teach the values and morals that the bible allegedly is supposed to impart unto people..... I mean, these rituals are just plain ridiculous, but are done because, "That's what we do...." I'm sure that the idols that you pray to and ritualize and worship are so fucking proud.

So really?  SHUT THE FUCK UP, that I call the stupid holiday X'mas. It's really all make believe and it really doesn't matter what the fuck I call it. I can call it Slappy Dappy Ding Dong Day Dot Com :hashtag: yoloswaggity and it's still not going to change the fact that it's really not what you think it is.

Online Christmas Shopping......

Online Christmas shopping is probably the greatest thing since sliced bread. It saves me from having to go to overcrowded stores and dealing with people. It saves me from the hassle of fighting my way through aisles and aisles of shit and I don't have to deal with people. Did I mention that I don't have to deal with people? Yeah. I wouldn't have to deal with people. Which is awesome. I am not able to get ALL of the X'mas shopping done online, which leaves me having to have to go to the stores for some shit, but less shit is still less shit and if it saves me from spending less time among people, it's still a win. YAY, INTERNET!

Happy Thanksgiving 2013

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and yours from me and mine.

May you eat tons of noms and not remember that the rest of the holidays are creeping up and that it's only going to get crazier and stuff.....

Just pass me a plate of food and leave me alone while I sit here in the closet. I want to savor and enjoy the nommy noms, but hide from what's coming. I hate the holidays.... It's officially BAH HUMBUG season. :C

Fat.

Is it laziness or lack of motivation or what? I don't know. I mean, as of late, I had joined the ranks of the unfit. But I'm doing something about it. I don't like it, but I get it done. It takes a certain kind of commitment, I get it, but still. It needs to get done, but I don't like it.

It also takes a certain kind of commitment to let yourself go and keep on letting it happen too. I am not talking about illness that robbed you of it. I am talking about the conscious neglect of oneself. I mean, to the point where you have gone from "unfit" to "Are you the thing that ATE your former incarnation??!?!?" It's all too common place now out in the world around us. And it scares me.

I mean, if you think about it, it's getting harder and harder to teach our children what "normal" is as far as what is fit and what is not. It's getting harder to teach them how to make healthy food choices when it's microwave mac n cheese (an absolute and WRETCHED concoction by ANY stretch of the imagination) and pop tarts and toaster pastries and high fructose corn syrup infused "healthy things" (and they're not. It's just that most parents don't read labels and they themselves wouldn't know what was healthy if it bit them in the ass....) like yogurt and "vegetable snacks" (which are so processed that they are far removed from being an actual vegetable of any variety.) Fucking disgusting.

Yes. I get that convenience is important in such a fast paced and busy world. Some things should be quick and convenient and shit, but not at the cost of our children's health and well being? Yes, fast, quick, easy. Slap a pre-boxed lunch out of the fridge to give to your kids or pop a processed tidbit of "New and improved Flavor-ed" questionable thing into the microwave, but at what cost...... And we wonder why our kids are unhealthy? Seriously?

Most kids DON'T get outside to play because they're too engrossed with their electronic devices. They're eating all sorts of crap because they don't know any better. Kids are rude and snide and snotty and whiny and lack manners and cry "victim" over everything. And the blame falls completely on the parents. The children aren't being taught how to eat right, act right and behave like real little kids. They aren't being shown what being a functioning person. And these attitudes and mannerisms DIRECTLY mirror what they learn from parents who aren't taking the time to PARENT their children or just can't be bothered, and it's obvious.

And then THESE kids are being sent off into the world and rubbing off on other kids, then all of them start learning the crappy behaviors of others..... JESUS! I find that I am correcting crappy behaviors that my kids come home with a lot. And I'M the bad guy? Shit. It must be nice playing the role of the good guy then. No frustrations, no responsibilities, no having to be an authority figure.

But to those living the carefree life: don't think you're not being judged. Please, by all means, keep shirking on your responsibilities. Don't think for a second it goes unnoticed.... Pathetic.

What's for supper?

With four kids in the house, deciding what's for dinner can be quite a challenge sometimes. My kids have a pretty eclectic taste is foods and will chow down on just about anything you put in front of them. They don't shy away from different ethnic foods and won't necessarily turn something away because "it looks weird". (You can keep your microwaved mac and cheese. THAT shit my kids will turn their noses up to. Fucking FOUL, disgusting crap right there.... Blech! Child abuse in a bowl!) But with eclectic tastes, comes a variety of flavors. Now, I'm not going to say that all the kids love all the flavors and all of them love all the same foods. Not the case at all. Same with textures, and whether something leans more towards bland or bold, spicy or mild. So the range of thoughts for what we should have for dinner varies greatly too.... Some days I am TOTALLY set and I have the meals planned out for the next couple of days for breakfast, lunch ( on the weekends and holidays) and dinner. It works out well. There are days when I will allow myself to cater to my own cravings and will make what I want to eat. The kids each get turns picking out stuff they want to eat and sometimes, that method works out. Other times, not so much...... Oh well. At least they eat all sorts of stuff.

I'm FINE.

"I'm FINE......." are probably the two most loaded words in the female vocabulary. It can mean she's fine OR it can mean, "Bitch, you better run....." And then, the speed at which a woman says, "Nothing...." when subsequently asked, "What's wrong?" is inversely proportional to the shit storm you you're going to have coming your way. I mean, let's break down some "Woman-speak":  
No=no 
Yes= maybe 
Maybe=no 
We need...=I want...
We should...=I've already made up my mind and we're doing it.
How much do you love me?=It's expensive and I want it. 
You look tense. How about a hummer?=I did something you're REALLY not going to like and it's gonna cost you a whole SHIT TON of money. 
I'm sorry.=You'll be sorry. 
What did you just say?=I am giving you the opportunity to change what the fuck you just said because the shit that just came out of your mouth was something that I found to be absolutely unacceptable. 
I asked you what you just said!=Think VERY carefully on your next words or I will castrate you in your sleep. Make sure you agree with everything that I have said and that we are on the same page here. Back slowly away and get me some ice cream and wine. Rub lotion on my feet and cater to my every whim. Fold the laundry and do the dishes while you're at it.

Then you have the MAGICAL word. "Wow...." It's not a good thing. It's actually the opposite. It is the equivalent to, "Holy shit! I cannot believe how stupid you are! I am rethinking this whole entire relationship right now because the level of stupidity that you have just shown is so high that I'm not even sure I should allow you to continue drawing breath. I should probably end you right now for the good of the rest of the world because, WOW!"

No wonder men go bald and die sooner than women..... Go figure! 

Clueless..... For now.......

So, I took eldest boy to make a pilgrimage to his spiritual sanctuary, (AKA the Zumiez in the mall) to start on the fake Christmas shopping for this years blah blah blah BAH HUMBUG. There's a cute chickie working behind the counter, flirting up a storm, trying to get Boy's attention and he was basically in "skateboard stuff mode" and couldn't be bothered. As a last resort, she pulls out a BOXFUL of stickers from behind the counter to get his attention and says, "Here. Take as many as you want! You can have them." .......as she leans purposefully over the counter in a semi low cut top...... And Boy was all, "YAY STICKERS!" and dives right into the box.

Yay stickers?

I mean, don't get me wrong. At the time, he had a girlfriend and not only that but, he's there in the store with his MOM standing behind him. I guess it sort of puts a damper on his super swag, pimpin' mack daddy style or whatever they're calling that shit nowadays. But I found it to be absolutely hysterical because he really TRULY is clueless when it comes to the girlies. Which is what keeps this mama happy. I will savor this for now. I'm sure he will come to discover his "power" soon..... :s

Sad chowder........

When the potatoes are potating, the bacon starts sittin' there looking sexy as FUCK, and you have your onion/butter/garlic/celery/herbs-n-other-shit concoction making sexy time in bacon fat and white wine, it's a very happy thing....... I mean, knowing a chowdah is gonna be a boner inducing/panty soaking experience is just spooge-tastic. It's a labor of love really. It's not a quick slap together meal. I let that shit simmer and brew and cook all day so that all the flavors can get to know each other and make sweet, sweet love in some massive nom stuff orgy so that the end result is an explosion of mouthgasmic bliss. 

And it WAS!!!!!!!!!! Until SOMEONE, who will remain nameless :ehem: <Puppy Guts>, didn't keep an eye on it and stir it constantly while I went to take a shower and ruined the whole pot. 

Yes, I cried. It was very tragic and totally heartbreaking. :C

I am a man with a vagina.....

A real woman always keeps her house clean and organized; the laundry basket is always empty. She's always well dressed, hair done, behaves gracefully in all situations and all circumstances. She never swears. She has more than enough patience to take care of her family, always has a smile on her lips, and a kind word for everyone. 

Post this as your status if you, too, have just realized that you might be a man...

Well, I guess that just makes me a man who has a vagina then...... 

Paw prints on our hearts....

I've blogged about Lulu in the past. A sweet chocolate lab that lived down the street from us. The kids and I would visit her often and play out in the yard with her because she was just a cool dog to hang out with. The youngest of the brood used to take naps on the dog bed alongside Lulu. The dog never minded sharing her bed. She'd lay there patiently until the baby woke up so that they could play again. She moved away recently and it kind of broke my heart. And with the recent loss of Otis, it was kind of a devastating blow to be, essentially, losing another dog.

It's no big secret that I like animals more than I like people. I'm not a real fan of people. I am that one weirdo who, at a social gathering, will find the family pet and will hang out with said pet. I will love  and pet all the animals in the household, just to avoid people if I can. Yup. I'm THAT guy. I don't think that it necessarily makes me socially awkward or strange, but yeah. I'm THAT guy.

I thought about all the goggies I have met and have touched my life. All the time I spent on the floor or the ground loving on my pets or other people's pets and on the one hand, it totally crushes my happiness and makes me want to curl up into a little ball and cry forever. On the other, it just brings me such a sense of peace and YAY-ness because of moments that I shared with another living thing that didn't judge me or do much else then to share love with no strings attached.

Don't take those moments for granted. Savor and enjoy them. When they're gone, you really DO start to miss them. A lot. Trust me.

A fall joke......

In the spirit of fall, here is this:

A couple are doing yard work on opposite sides of the yard. Other people had the same idea and the sounds of leaf blowers and mowers hung heavy in the air. The husband was looking for the rake and couldn't find it. He yells over to his wife, 'Where's the rake?'

She can't hear: She replies by shaking her head.

So he points to his eye (I), hits his knee (need), then makes raking motions.

She replies by pointing to her eye, points to her left breast, grabs her ass, then points to her crotch.

Turned on, he gave his wife a wink thinking she was getting frisky, but she rolled her eyes and repeated her gestures by pointing to her eye, points to her left breast, grabs her ass, then points to her crotch.

He jogged over closer to where she was so that he could ask her what in the hell she was trying to convey and says, 'What?'

She says, 'I (pointing to her eye) left tit (pointing to her left breast) behind (grabbing her ass) the bush (and points to her crotch).'

Responsible.......

It's not to say that I won't get the shit that needs to get done, done. I always meet my obligations early or on time. I don't make excuses. But, sometimes I find myself wondering what it would be like to be one of those people who shrugs off responsibility or makes excuses (that they think are believed) for why those responsibilities aren't met. Then blaming others for it all. It must be nice.....

I've often wondered whether I should try it. Just drop the whole "responsible thing" and just not do it. Then I get all GLAAAAAH! about it. It just doesn't jive and I feel all icky about myself. Then I continue to cut checks to pay bills, I get through chores, I meet the obligations of those relying on me and continue on being a responsible adult. :sigh: I'm a better person for it.

I'm funny!

I slay myself sometimes. Seriously. I can be a seriously funny bastard sometimes! In my own mind, of course. I have conversations with myself and I have inside jokes with myself, and I find that when I am lost inside my own little world, I am smiling like a doofus because I'm so freaking hilarious. Yeah, I have my moments when I will amuse the people around me. Mostly with the random thoughts rattling around in my head or the random occurrences that happen in my life. The anecdotes that I share are usually found to be stupendously funny to those around me, to the point where I get told that I should have a sitcom.... Albeit, one on a cable network, late at night because of my constant usage of the fuck word. I suppose I would find it all funny too, if only it wasn't MY life.... :sigh:

Insomnia......

I suffer from insomnia from time to time. I'm used to it, and don't get me wrong, I do end up missing my sleep. I get the sporadic half hour here and there during my sleepless periods, and the reality only starts to slip after the first four or five days. Now, I've explained Eddie and how my brain is a jerk..... And, that's a good portion of my problem right there. There is always a constant chatter in my head. Sometimes it's more prevalent than others. But it's always there. I think about the most random things, that moves into another topic, that switches to another, and another, and another........ It doesn't stop. I find a little respite playing spider solitaire if I can focus long enough to get through a game, but most of the time I just have to wait to crash. It's an on and off thing and I don't really know when these bouts are going to hit. I'm not even sure what brings them about. They just sort of happen and linger for a little while. Blech.....

It works......

There really isn't a time when one of the kids HADN'T done something wrong, so when my back is turned for longer than ten minutes, I usually make a general statement like, "What the....... WHO DID THIS??!?!?!?!?" or just a general, "What did you DO??!?!?!?" Speaking to no one in particular. Most of the time I get an answer, which goes to show there are ALWAYS things going on that shouldn't be and despite my best efforts to pay attention to the goings on, there are still things I miss...... Which kind of freaks me the fuck out. Some of it is rather unexpected. And there are a few times where it was just plain WT actual F?

I don't want my kids to become paranoid about everything and I certainly don't want them not to spread their wings and try things, but I have to make sure that it doesn't fall into the realm of things they should NOT be doing. I mean, I know they're going to fuck up once in a while. It's from our biggest mistakes that we learn our greatest life lessons. I get it. But with those mistakes comes a lot of heartbreak and those same lessons can still be learned WITHOUT that particular brand of heartbreak. I mean, I don't want to be a hovering parent. (I fucking hate those. I hated that my mom did it. Fucking get over it. You're doing your child NO GOOD! They rebel harder later in life and if that shit keeps up, you'll fucking lose them for good.)  But I don't want to be one of those fly by night parents that seagull the home by making a lot of noise, shitting all over the place and flying off to have someone else clean up the mess either.

Finding that balance is the key, but it's a pretty difficult thing. You don't just "find the balance" and that's it. It's constantly changing and I find myself ALWAYS needing to change along with it. And it's NOT necessarily a "consistent" thing, because there are so many variable situations and circumstances too.... Blech!

My hope is that one day, when I see my children all grown up, and they are TOTALLY the people that I know they are gonna be and who they should be now, I know I will have done my job right. Whoop, whoop!

Yeah, no...... But, no, yeah.

The dichotomy that I have happening inside my mind on a daily basis is one that would probably drive a lesser person insane. The incongruence between these two battling forces constantly clashing with each other in some epic battle would bring a weak minded person to their knees, begging for mercy. Others would seek to be medicated, becoming nothing more than a shell of their former selves...... Me? Well.... It's my life. It's what I've lived with from the time I was born. I wouldn't be able to tell you what life without my ADD and OCD was like. It's just ALWAYS been there.

What DOES scare me is the thought of it NOT being there. Like, wake up one morning and :POOF: it's all gone. No chatter in my head, no obsessive behaviors, no compulsive actions, no "Hey look! A MARBLE!".......

What? Oh.. yeah... So, waking up and it all being gone. That totally freaks me the fuck out. I am who I am because of them. They have shaped my quirks and personality. They have honed my sense of self. they have molded my thoughts and ideals. They are the very basis, the foundations from which I BECAME. How weird is THAT!

Yeah. I know. I put WAY too much thought into this stuff. Shut up.

NO consequences......

I have seen, first hand, what the children who suffer no consequences does. These kids have never been slapped, spanked, grounded or seen things taken away. They have never seen the results of what bad behavior can merit. It's pathetic. It's a parent who lacks balls to actually DO anything, or they lack the spine to follow through because they're afraid of becoming "the bad guy". And make no mistake. The kids catch on to that pretty quickly. And they yell and scream and cry and pitch fits until they get their way once again, because they already know that is going to be the result. They get their way and there will be no consequences. Pathetic.

I'm not saying that it's okay to beat the fuck out of the kids, but a smack upside the head or a spank in the ass certainly won't kill them. REAL consequences like actually taking away things like electronic devices (NO LONGER ALLOWED IN MY HOME, thank you very much. They're kids. They really have no need for handheld gaming systems and iThings. It's fucking sad.), being sequestered and faced with "solitary confinement", not just getting yelled at and threatened, but actually following through. Actions speak louder then words.

DO I become the bad guy? Of course. I mean, Jesus, who else is going to step into the role of "parent" and actually raise my kids? If I don't do it, it's not going to get done.

PMS....... BLAH!

Ah. Welcome back PMS.... So, what flavor of bitch am I going to be THIS month? Hmm? Well, judging from the bag of chips smothered in A-1 steak sauce and the half tube of raw cookie dough I just consumed, I'm assuming that Puppy Guts should really start drinking heavily now until this is over, huh? Gotcha.

Shh!!!! I can't hear where I'm going!

I am constantly getting lost when I drive around. Not so much in MY neighborhood, but if I am so much as a little unfamiliar with an area, forget it. It's a toss up as to whether or not we're gonna get there or not. If someone wants me to get somewhere, I am needing SPECIFIC directions written down, EXPLICITLY telling me where I need to go, where to turn, at how many point something something miles, with landmarks and street names or I'm not going to get there. I mean, NOT GOING TO GET THERE. I'll end up somewhere, but not where I'm supposed to be. And by "somewhere", I mean, the south Bronx or some other seedy area.

So, I am guilty of being one of those assholes that has to turn the volume down on the radio in order to see where I'm driving. I'm not sure why I do it. It's not like it gets me any less lost or anything, and it's not as if though I can find my way back any more easily either, but there you have it.

Vicious cycle......

I snort when I laugh. It gets worse the harder I'm laughing. I laugh harder when I snort when I laugh..... Vicious cycle there. THEN, other people see me doing this and start to laugh with / at me, which ends up making me laugh even MORE. Which leads to more snorting.

I once got a half empty bus going because of one of my laughing fits. I don't even remember what set me off in the first place, but before I knew it, I was laughing and snorting, snorting and laughing, and I couldn't stop myself. Of course the people on the bus with me couldn't help themselves and started laughing too. And it turned into one of those strange, weird, funny, uplifting moments that a handful of complete strangers shared with each other, which is really kind of special, ya know? Yeah. So, that.

Another use for Google.....

I will Google the most random word combinations JUST to see what I get sometimes. I do this most often when I'm bored and I have nothing to do. And I will find a picture that I like, I save that shit into a file I have on my desktop. Some of them are funny, some gross, some sick, some are weird, some are touching, some are poignant, some are so random.... I mean, it is a folder of a whole collection of what the interwebs are really all about.

I've come to realize one thing from my random forays onto the web. And that is this: No matter how unique an individual thinks they are, they really aren't, and the internet proves that. No matter what the affliction, fetish, hobby, liking, desire, hunger, taste, craving, symptom, sense of humor, style, race, creed, religion, belief system, you name it, there is a webpage or an image for it...... Which is kind of weird and scary at the same time.

Classy as FUCK!

This is some classy as fuck shit right here. I ran across THIS beauty at a liquor store nearby and I KNEW that this little gem had to be mine. Mason jar wine glass, that I use as my hooch sipper......

Yup! That's right! That high falootin', classy as fuck, borderline snooty, "Yeah, I know you wanna be my friend!" shit right there.

It's okay to be jealous. I know you want one..... but this one's mine.

My "reality".......

It's not that I'm delusional or "off my rocker" or completely insane or psychotic, but my "reality" is a bit "askew". Let me explain:
A good portion of the time, my life is pretty boring. The producers / writers write in an "incident or two" every day, in the scripts of the people around me, just so the captive audience can see how I'm gonna handle it and the antics and "comedy" that follows, but yeah. Not everyday WOO HOO!, non-stop action and excitement from the time I get up to the time I go to bed, sometimes getting roused in the middle of the night for some addendum action sequence followed by an explosion that I get to walk away from in slow motion or anything. So, I prefer to see things differently. Draw rainbows on the filter screens of my perception as I look around the world. Pop in a magical critter or two. Put a mustache on a bitch that's yelling at me because she walked backwards into my cart at the grocery store. Maybe sometimes, while in traffic, we're not all riding around in cars and trucks, but on unicorns and elephants. The assholes get rabid, ill tempered baboons. Come on.... Like YOU'VE never pretended or imagined that you have a grenade launcher and blasted through the parking lot of cars in front of you when you were stuck in traffic? Pfft. PLEASE! My imagination is always on, and I see a whole buttload of things because I choose to put them there. Kind of like the "imagining the whole audience in their underpants when you have to give a speech and you're nervous" thing. Except with me, I just do stuff like that all the time, except not the underpants thing. There are just some things that should be left UN-seen.....

So, if you ever see me around, and I seem like I'm off in my own little world, I may just well be, but not, but I am, sort of. Not really. But I sort of am.

NO TOUCHING!!!!!

I don't like being touched by strangers. I do not like being in close proximity to people I don't know. I do not appreciate people who invade my personal bubble. I WILL start throwing elbows and pass gas and sneeze without covering, JUST to reestablish my own personal space. We have come in to cold and flu season and I have to say, it diminishes my tolerance for people who invade my personal space, which grows exponentially when we get into fall and winter. Blech!

I mean, don't get me wrong. There are times when being confined in a crowded place isn't anyone's fault. These things happen. I'm not going to go into full out "anti-social mode" when it's a situation like that. That would just be out and out wrong. Funny, but wrong. I am talking about the creepers who don't understand the concept of "acceptable distance". Especially when I have my, "Do I LOOK like I even want to talk to you??!?!?" puss on my mug. I've had an extreme case of personal space invasion some years back where some creepy guy, standing behind me in line at a store, started rubbing himself up against me. I ended up heel stomping his foot with a boot clad foot. It made him stop. He also cursed me out. But it made him stop. Jerk.

I just don't think that here's a need for getting all un into someone's grill, especially when you don't know them. If I want my personal space invaded, it's because I choose to have it invaded, thank you. I will determine who gets to and who doesn't, ya know? Yeesh!

Fantasy vs. Reality...... Not as much fun sometimes......

I often catch myself fantasizing about what it would be like if I just hauled off and hit certain people with a blunt object, simply because I totally think they deserve it, or more yet, simply because I think they NEED it. Or  maybe the scenario is that I see something on the news that pisses me off and the subject of that news report explodes. It doesn't matter what or who. Just simply the sheer will of my thoughts ruptures the fuck out of the subject of my rage. Sometimes, I will languish in these thoughts and play them out. Flesh out the details and let my mind wander through that little fantasy. I mean like, walk the streets, window shop, check out all the books at the library, have a cup of coffee at the cafe down the street, maybe meander through the park and stuff. Then I get snapped back into reality and discover, there are just some things in life that would be SO much better if MY fantasy became reality. Seriously. It'd be such a better world.

ME day.

I have always found that taking a bit of time for myself is important every once in a while. I mean, not like a time out, but a bit of time where I am doing something for me. Yeah, the working out thing and stuff, but something more along the lines of pampering myself. Facial, paint my toenails and fingernails, take an extra long hot shower, dye my hair yet another unnatural color.... Stuff like that. Maybe finish off with something that I want for supper and dessert. It doesn't happen all THAT often, but I'll do it on occasion..... Not that the kids have ever mewled about it in any way, and really haven't noticed that I was really doing anything for myself to begin with and that it was a selfish day for me.....

Whatever...... So, would it be terrible to start off with a glass of wine this early in the morning? Yeah, huh? Alright, I'll settle for a cup of coffee then. Laters!

I'm out......standing......

I don't like to go out much. I mean seriously. It really is a matter of my not liking to be around people. I don't like dealing with or interacting with people. And by people, I mean strangers. By and large, people are shitty, selfish, crazy, mean, malicious, self righteous, jealous, cruel, sadistic, rotten pieces of crap. They are animals. I am not talking about things that bear fur and are all being wild and themselves. I an talking straight up, fucked up, mother humping, rabid, mutant animals. The kinds that need to be put down.

I watch the news from time to time and look around at the world around me and I see people who really don't deserve to be here. Murderers, rapists, child molesters, animal abusers, drug addicts and dealers, gangsters, politicians, illegals, terrorists, people who are all around just usurping the system. Every day, it's something like that. All the time, we are hearing about some piece of shit having perpetrated some atrocity, and WE, the people, foot the bill for their trials and incarcerations. And they end up leading better lives than those deserving a three squares a day, a warm place to sleep, a roof over their heads and stuff.

I swear when I become THE SUPREME ROYAL HIGHNESS, RULER OF EVERYTHING, MASTER OF THE INTERWEBS AND OVERLORD OF INFINITY, I'm chlorinating the FUCK out of the worldwide gene pool. Just sayin'. In the meantime, I'll be out on the front porch, just to be able to say I got fresh air, and if anyone asked, I was out, standing that day.

I HUG you!

My Puppy Guts is such an awesome sport. Seriously. He is my personal trainer, my personal excercise machine, my personal punching bag, punching dummy, sand bag, and training partner, and he basically takes everything that I dish out without a single complaint. Yeah, I'll make it up to him with a back scratchin' or footie rubs or a muscle tapping with a black jack or just an all around massage, but I don't think he gets back half of what he has to put up with. I love him so much!

Brace yourselves......

November in New England here brings about some weird weather. Actually, the east coast has been experiencing some pretty strange weather in general this year. The summer was pretty mild and we were spared the sweltering, humid days on end that we normally end up having to suffer through. And now that we are well into the fall, We could start to see some wicked snowfall pretty soon. Not that I'm complaining or anything. It's pretty to see and the kids and I get to have a whole lot of fun playing in it. And the possibility of a school delay or a snow day altogether? BONUS! Let's all sleep in! W00T! But on the other hand, shoveling it isn't fun. Driving in it sucks. And it's fucking cold. Add that to the fact that the holidays are looming ever closer and you've got enough reason for me to want to hibernate until the spring thaw.

I've been hearing the opposite extremes as to what to expect this winter. Mild, won't be too cold, we may not get that much snow, meh...... And HOLY SHIT! STOCK UP ON A WHOLE BUNCH OF SHIT BECAUSE THIS BITCH IS GOING TO BE EXTREME! WE ARE ABOUT TO GET SLAMMED WITH THE HARSHEST WINTER WE'VE SEEN IN ABOUT 216 YEARS! We may be facing the apocalypse!

I'm not sure which way to go. I'm sure it'll fall somewhere in the middle of all that, but yeah. We've been having some pretty mild winters around these parts as well. We did get FLABAMMO-ed with a wicked blizzard last winter, but other then that..... Meh. I'm really not sure what to expect. Just like with any of the other seasons. I don't even rely on the weather reporters any more. They're usually wrong anyway. I just sort of wake up in the morning, open the front door and take a look and get a feel of the temperature. It's generally a good  measure of what it's going to be like outside. Regardless, the changing of the seasons again is near.

Ugh.... So it begins.......

We have come to my most dreaded time of the year. Waking up on November 1st is always a tough one. Not only does it signify the end of my favorite holiday, but it also signifies the arrival of the year end holidays. Other than the noms part, I really hate the holidays. It is WAY too overwhelming and quite honestly? I think it sucks.

Yeah. I know I am a big bah humbug when it comes to the holidays. And I will continue to complain about them until they have passed and I don't have to worry about them again until next year. I've already come across X'mas decorations and X'mas shit in the stores where I frequent. IN OCTOBER!!!! Seriously.... This truly sucks.

This is the point where I wish I could hibernate through and wake up somewhere around mid January. That'd be cool. Yeah....

Bah HUMBUG!!!!!!!!