My parents, are the type of people that have shown me what I definitely DON'T want to be or become. They are petty, bitter, cruel and really know how to drive the goodness out of things and people. They are the very epitome of how I don't want to treat my children, how I don't want them to treat those around them, how I don't want to treat people I call my friends, how I don't think anyone should be treating anyone at all. They are the type of people who put on the happy facades of "the perfect family" and really, if people were to actually see what happened behind closed doors, they'd realize how crappy these people really were too.
I've come to find my dwindling faith in humanity come from these roots because I see more of this same behavior beyond the walls of my parents' dwelling area, in other people. There are so many people who are like this. Not a genuine bone in their bodies. It's easy for me to recognize because I grew up with it and now I can see it anywhere. And a good portion of the time, if you look carefully enough, you can see the flicker of the facade fade long enough to see what behind it. It's rather sad. Petty people caught up in their own petty bullshit, creating their own worlds of drama over petty little shit. Going on and complaining about the world around them, yet doing absolutely nothing to help make things better or make things right. Bitching about the behaviors of others, all while overlooking their own flaws and their own shitty behaviors. Always pointing fingers and quick to judge and blame others, but unable to fix the shit in their own lives. It's pretty easy to spot.
:sigh: People are sinking further and further down the rabbit hole and like Nero, many fiddle. Some days I think maybe it wouldn't be so bad just to bite the bullet and joint the ranks and become one of those I hold with the utmost disgust. It's such an easy existence. No one to care about but myself. I get to build a pretty facade for the rest of the world to see and I can fit in with all the rest of the fake-y fakertons and go on about a fake life and pretend that all the world is well and happy and great and people are lovely and make fake friends and blah, blah, blah..... But then I realized how hard I fought to escape from it because of how much I hated being one of them. How much I hated myself for becoming one of them. I look upon the faces of my children and know that it's not what I want for them. And then my decision is made so much easier. My faith in people may be diminished, but I know that as long as I keep to what I believe and raise my children in that belief, I'd have done my part and given the ultimate FUCK YOU to my parents for NOT being able to turn me into what I hate most about them.
No comments:
Post a Comment