Whoa there buddy!

Hold on a second there, Slappy!
In being out and about, despite the fact that I didn't want to be, trying to get the holiday shit done, I got man handled... Not just a little. I'm so glad that I didn't have any of my kids with me.
Now, I really don't get WHY some men find it necessary to grope a woman they find even remotely attractive. YUCK! Unsolicited touching by a yucky person! Eeeyew! It's kind of like a physical (instead of verbal) manifestation of Tourette's...
So, waiting in line at the check out with various holiday presents and crap, I had a guy grab my ass and give it a squeeze. My first reaction was to swing around and swat his hand away, with a heavily ringed hand. I made sure I was NOT nice about it by whipping and flicking my hand making DAMN SURE that the ring hit him. I must have caught him pretty good because he flinched away pretty quickly and gave me the startled "Ouch!" look. I scowled at him and told him to keep his hands to him-fuckin'-self or I would cut them off at the wrists and shove them up his ass. It didn't go over too well, but I didn't really care.
I went back to waiting in the line and he proceeded to rub himself on me... So I turned around, stomped on his foot with my big ol' boot. I brought the heel right down on the top of his foot where it meets the ankle and then my knee "accidentally" met his testicles. Oops...
A store employee came over to ask what the problem was soon afterward because I guess the guy was experiencing a bit of discomfort... At least that's what I gathered from the verbally descriptive explanation of the unpleasant sensations in his pelvic region. Oh, and that I was a bitch.
I explained to the female employee what had taken place. She quickly took me over to a closed counter, opened it up, rang me up and had me out of the store with a smile. The gentleman was quickly escorted out of the store with nothing. She asked if I wanted an escort to the car to make sure that the guy wasn't going to follow me. I smiled and declined.

I took my bag of purchases, turned the Hello Kitty cute "shred enhance ring" in, got my keys in my hand and stormed out to the car. Remembering all the training my Lucky had been instilling in me, I made myself aware of my surroundings, and looked around and put myself on condition orange. I was all happy that I was gonna be able to shred the crap outta someone... Except, I guess the guy didn't want to play. I even sat in the car for a little while... Nothing... Was it something I said?
Oh well. Maybe next time...