He's.... right behind me, isn't he.....

I hate those moments when you're talking about someone and they're standing right behind you and you didn't know. Happens often at the house because my mom is always asking me why I don't talk to my dad too often or ever, really.....
So I go off on a tirade about how pop is a mean son of a bitch with a cruel  and hard streak with a nasty temper and the one person who should be trying to curb his crappy behavior isn't doing anything but making excuses for the nasty old coot and is instead enabling the behavior so that he continues to do it more by berating and yelling at me and calling me a worthless stupid animal who should go somewhere and die, when, in fact, this elderly nightmare would be doing the world a favor by letting go of what he claims to be such a miserable existence. POOF! He materializes out of friggin' NO WHERE..... Japanese ninja skills? You be the judge. He shuffles around the rest of the time and FLABAMMO! Right out of thin air, he's right behind me....
Then we get into battle royale over it because I'm a stupid animal, which frankly, I'm getting sick and tired of hearing, while mom sits on high doing her "martyr thing" and pop throws yet another one of his tamper tantrums.
I keep my mouth shut these days and whenever possible, I make myself scarce and stay away from the house all together. I like the silent awkwardness better anyway. At least that way I can ignore the old kooks I live with....