Mia for President!

I joke (kind of...) quite often about taking over the world and my plans for world domination and crap like that, but the other night, I had a dream that I became President of the United States..... Actually, it was a fucking nightmare. It was terrifying. I was basically (kind of) the most powerful person in the world... I was drunk with power. It was insane.

I demanded tributes of bacon, and the heads of my enemies brought to me on sticks to decorate the front lawn of the white house. I truly started to shape the world into my own warped and twisted Utopia of my dream self's creation to suit and please only dream me. A tyrannical bitch of biblical proportions, dream me ruled over the world and ordered all to bow down to me in abject subjugation....

I damn near stood bolt upright when I woke from my dream in a cold sweat and a sick feeling in my stomach. Who the fuck was that??!?? I mean, anyone in our dream is merely ourselves working out some kind of psychological whatever and that every person in those dreams are all part and parcel to your own ego and some different something that makes up the whole. This dream me scared the crap out of me.

I wondered whether I would ever end up like that or could end up like that. I wondered, if given too much power, whether I could actually become that monster. The thought chilled me to the bone. It was really one of the worst dreams I think I've had in a VERY long time. I mean I know it was just a dream and stuff and the chances of me actually becoming president are about the same as winning the lottery, a lifetime supply of bacon and a theme park ALL IN THE SAME DAY, but OMG! What the fuck? Is my psyche trying to tell me something? If I did wind up with that kind of power, is it possible I could become that?

Maybe the fact that the dream scared the shit out of me should bring me comfort though. I mean, if I woke up and was totally cool with that dream and thought, "Cool! That was an awesome dream!" I would have concerns and worries.... Well if I was thinking that it was a cool dream, I suppose I wouldn't have any worries or concerns... I wouldn't really give a shit....

Fuck.... My head hurts. I'm gonna go lie down. I hope I have a dream about fluffy baby ducks and magical unicorns and rainbows and shit like that because I don't think I can handle another APOCALYPTIC dream like this..... o_O

Laughter......

Laughter truly is a great medicine..... I mean not a medicine for when you're feeling all puke-y and stuff, but when you're feeling miserable and grumpy and mentally worn down and psychologically spent. 

There really is something to be said about a good, SOLID, deep down belly laugh that has you gasping for breath and makes your sides hurt. That  small moment really can help to cure the blahs. It's a strange thing. Something so simple and yet can help sometimes with some pretty complex shit.

I mean I am pretty easily amused and most of the time, it's something pretty stupid or totally random or both that will set me off. Seriously! And then, once I really get going, I snort and guffaw, then I end up laughing so hard that no noise comes out, and I end up sitting there clapping like a retarded seal. I love that shit! Afterwards, things don't seem as bad as I thought and I am able to deal with things a little better. 

Simplicity has it's place sometimes and what's more simple than laughing to cure some of your woes? Just figured I'd share....

Everyone thinks it, I just say it out loud....

Sometimes I mean to say things out loud, sometimes I don't.... I'll never say which times are which... We all think the same things sometimes. "Jeez, I wish that bitch would shut up!" "OMG! That looks hideous!" "Holy shit! This stuff tastes like CRAP!" "What the fuck is WRONG with him?" "Some people REALLY deserve to die a long and agonizing death, in a closet, by themselves!" I don't know whether it's my lack of patience for most people, my lack of tolerance for shitty people, or maybe it IS a personality flaw that I need to work on because I truly AM an abrasive bitch, but I say stuff like that out loud in my outside voice sometimes.

Although I really think that it's important for some things to be left unsaid, there certainly are plenty of other things that SHOULD be said, out loud, for everyone to hear because everyone should know or it should just be said out loud because no one else has the balls to say it, even though it needs to be said. Maybe it's another one of my many quirks. I don't know. Whatever.

Happy Thanksgiving 2014

To all of our friends, family, stalkers, lurkers, peekers, accidentally stumbled upon-ers, creepers, sneakers, regulars and n00bs:

A safe and happy Thanksgiving to you and yours from us and all of ours! It's NOMMY TIME!

Pee Pee Time....

There's nothing like a good pee, especially, like, the first thing in the morning one, that goes on for EVER and you feel like, "Damn! I should have weighed myself BEFORE, just to see how much weight I lost on that one!" type pees. Maybe it's just me, but pee pee time really makes me feel like I accomplished something.

Maybe it's because I've potty trained four children and saw what a big deal it was on their faces the first time they succeeded. Hell, it was a big deal to me! They were so pleased with themselves, and right they should be, and sometimes I feel the same way. Something that I made all by myself and succeeded in doing and got it done well.

Yes..... Quirk....

Raising Children....

I forget how the saying goes.... "There's no such thing as a "bad kid", you're just an idiot"... No, that's wasn't it.... It's something like that though... Wait, maybe it was, "There's no such thing as a "bad kid", you're just a terrible parent"... Hmm. Maybe that wasn't quite it either.... It might come to me later....

Raising kids ain't easy. There are so many different schools and opinions about how to raise them... But at least most people try to take the initiative. I am of the school of, let the kids be who and what they're gonna be. As a parent I believe it is my job to guide them, put them on the right path, teach them to be solid, responsible, upright, productive, good people. Teach them about healthy choices. The rest is common sense, balance and knowing that when there is a action, there is going to be an equal and opposite reaction. We all do our best as parents and send our children off into the world when they are "grown" with the very best wishes and hopes and dreams and prayers, while we anxiously sit by the phone just in case they call home.

My parents were overbearing, overprotective, psychopathic, control freaks. I was a jangled bundle of nerves as a baby because I wasn't properly socialized, kept away from other people and whatever for fear of... well.... everything. Everything had to be quiet. Even every day noises. It did me no good at all because after awhile, every little noise scared me or startled me. I didn't eat well, I didn't gain adequate weight, I suffered gastro-intestinal issues and I cried A LOT. As a two year old, I worried about everything. I was a hot neurotic mess by the time I was five, had my first serious ulcer by the time I was eleven...  And don't even get me started on the laundry list of things that gave me anxieties. And people honestly wonder why I have O.C.D. issues and A.D.D. issues and blah....

(Um... was it, "You never should have had kids because you suck at raising them." ...No wait. "You're ruining your children because you're an asshole".... Crap.... That's not quite right either.)

Well, when I "came of age", I didn't walk out the door. I fuckin' ran, shooting over my shoulder behind me as I did. My parents had NO IDEA where my first six apartments were and I wasn't going to tell them either. I resented them growing up and resented them even more after I left. I was finally free... But, I was left to discover on my own, who the fuck I was. THAT was an interesting journey... It was wrought with a lot of pain, hardship, troubles, worries, mistakes and quite honestly, I'm really rather surprised I even survived it... The road to self discovery is a real tough one when you were always told who and what you're supposed to be, and it is one full of regrets and resentment too.

If you think about it, it's a form of abuse. It's several steps above selling sex acts on your infant online, beating your child daily because he cries, leaving a child duct taped to a table for days on end while you go on a drinking binge or something like that, but I still think it kind of ranks. I mean you can't say that leaving a year old child in the same diaper for six hours until her whole diaper area became sore, raw and was bleeding because she was sitting in her own filth all day because "she didn't say anything..." isn't neglect and abuse, just in the same way that willfully turning your child into a neurotic mess isn't.

MAYBE I can see that my parents tried to shield me from the world and protect me and keep me safe when I was a baby. But on the other side of that, I kind of have to believe then, that they watched what it was doing to me and if that's the case, they should have taken steps to fix their mistakes instead of making them worse or making excuses for them. What they did was push harder on my already damaged psyche and it really did me no amount of good and it did no amount of good for the "parent/ child relationship" because as hard as they pushed, I pushed even harder and pushed them right the fuck out of my life. So right now, we are but mere strangers that occasionally argue, living under the same roof and soon, we will only be mere strangers.

It's a sad conclusion, but a healthier one for me AND mine. I've come to realize that. In the meantime, my parents ARE still on the market for sale and I am VERY motivated to sell!

Rearing styles....

I get that everyone has different opinions about how to raise a child. I'm not talking about those psychopathic child beaters who molest their children or beat them up or kill them. I am talking about normal, sane  parents. It's funny when I meet a kid and can tell EXACTLY the kind of parents they have. Sometimes, parents really don't realize that they end up feeding their paranoias and phobias and crappy behaviors and whatnot to their kids. The subtle or not so subtle nuances in their children's behaviors and demeanors are being shaped and molded by these parents.

You know the type of kids. They won't stick their faces in the water at the pool because maybe the parents aren't comfortable in the water.... Or the kids who complain about everything because they watch their parents do it. Kids with food phobias because the parents are so "ham and American cheese". The kids who aren't very sociable because the parents didn't socialize their kid. The kids who have the pretentious, uppity attitudes because their parents are that way. The racist little bastards being raised by racist big bastards. I could go on forever about this kind of shit. And sadly, you know what I'm talking about.

These are the parents that are afraid of letting their children "go out into the world and discover it for themselves". I'm not talking about letting your kids run amok and without any kind of supervision or "tether to home" or guidelines. I am talking about determining who and what they're supposed to be before they're ever allowed to discover that for themselves. It's not like I'm saying that kids should be without guidance and active parenting. Obviously, children need the firm foundations of what a good person is. Knowing the difference between right and wrong. Growing  up with morals and a conscience. Having solid rules, structure and consistency in their lives in order for them to grow up to be upstanding human beings of substance and proper nature is very important. That comes from active parenting. But not SO many rules and structure that it kills the very thing that you're trying to nurture. Paranoia in the parent breeds paranoia in the child. Whatever the parent harbors, the children feed from. If the parents are greedy, spoiled pieces of shit, the children will become that. THAT kind of shit, I will beat out of my children all day, every day. I'm not going to tolerate whiny, bitchy, malicious behavior. What I am talking about as far as being nurtured are the behaviors that actually make them who they are. What sets them apart. What makes them tick. What defines who they are. The little seed of whatever that eventually grows to reveal the person they become. I believe it to be my job to make sure that they are cared for, taken care of, nurtured, and shown how to grow strong and proud. I've taken it upon myself to make for DAMN sure that they do.

It's a balancing act at best and of course the need for structure and consistency, but being able to bend and flex without compromising the integrity of everything. It's a very careful balancing act. They're children and you can't blame them for what you turn them in to. Fat children can't be blamed for being fat. They're fat because they're taught nothing of nutrition and healthy body weight. Spoiled, whiny, bratty shits can't be blamed for being as such. They were taught to be that way. Hateful little creatures are hateful because that's what they're surrounded by. Fearful, pansy assed pussies are that way because that's what they see... It goes on and on.

All parents have an idea of what they want their children to be, but do everything to turn them into the exact opposite of what they wanted by feeding their children their own fears or laziness, or hate or paranoias or whatever and it's rather disgusting. What makes it worse is when those parents say they're "disappointed" when it's the parents' fault for making them that way..... With that being said, children are still just children. They're going to do stupid things and fuck up from time to time. They're kids. That's how they test boundaries and discover things and see for themselves. Experience is going to be a better teacher in a lot of cases than just being told about something. But if the foundations are laid out properly and the kids have a solid grasp of the things they need to have been taught, it becomes more of a lesson learned than an absolute disaster when it does end up being a fuck up.

Every day brings a new adventure as a parent and active parenting is the way to rear children. Not making excuses for them for fucking up and NEVER for your own inactions and turning them into what they are. I suppose when a generation is being raised by electronic devices and cable and video games and nourished by microwavable junk food and pink slime meals and the children's every whim is being catered to because the parents are just too fucking lazy to get up off of their own fat asses to actually rear their kids, my voice and my opinions can seem rather ridiculous, which is the reason why I have to make sure that I speak even louder and clearer and show with actions, especially to my own children and make sure that they are not strayed into the unknown.

Ugh.....

Now we come to the whirlwind portion of the year. We get over the Halloween thing,  and skate past the Thanksgiving portion of the year and flabammo! We'll be at Christmas time in the blink of an eye. Thus begins the season of my BAH HUMBUG-ery..... I hate Christmas. LOVE the noms, but hate this time of year. Pfft..... FUCK! Someone wake me when it's January.....

Sneaky....

There used to be a time when I kept crappy stuff in the house. Cookies and sweets and crap like that. Of course, I never understood how and why the stuff disappeared so quickly considering the fact that I doled them out so carefully to the kids. It turns out, they were sneaking them way early in the morning. It was the morning that I decided I was no longer going to keep the crap in the house. I mean, duh! If it's not in the house, I know that it's one place they wont' be eating it.

Obviously, I am not going to be able to keep them form the junk foods and crap and stuff, but trying to minimize them is an important thing. Not only have I minimized it, but they are learning about the healthy alternatives and are learning to enjoy eating the healthy alternatives the crap that they may encounter.

It's not to say they don't ever get the cookies and ice creams and stuff and junk, but I just don't see the need for them to have to have it all the time. They have to learn about how to eat healthy and how to be healthy and that has to start here at home with me. I can't exactly rely on them learning about it outside the home when they are constantly being bombarded by all sorts of fun ads for all sorts of crap that makes them want to scarf it all down because YUM! (Ew...) And all of that is enforced by consistently seeing overweight people all the time, which is becoming more commonplace these days. They need to constantly be retaught what health and nutrition is and what a healthy body is and what a healthy lifestyle is. But it HAS to start at home.

Someday, they will go out into the world on their own and I am really hoping that I have given them all the right tools that will allow them to be healthy and nutrition conscious people who know how to make healthy choices.

Moral Obligations.....

What are the moral obligations of the average person? How many of us really give thought to this question on any given day? My opinion is: Isn't it something that we should consider all the time? The hard questions like, "What would I do <in this situation>?" or "Would I be prepared to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING?"

If you were to ask people what they believe to be their "moral obligations", you're going to get a whole bunch of different answers. You may even get the counter questions of, "Well..... Doesn't it depend on what kind of situation it is?"

How many people would REALLY stop and take the time to step in on some kind of situation happening right in front of their eyes? How many people would actually "notice"? There have been so many "social experiments" regarding this "bystander effect". Where the fuck does "moral obligation" come in that people are going to react and DO something? This bystander effect is rather terrifying really. People watching something going on and thinking, "It's someone else's job to do something about it..." or the mind not reacting at all and people just walk on by like nothing was going on... This is happening all around us more often times than not. A friend of mine wrote an amazing article about this bystander effect. In it he talks about the most typical examples of this bystander effect. It's scary stuff actually.

Yes.... I might have actually been putting some thought into some of the posts that I have been putting up as of late. What can I say.... This is something that I think about all the time. Don't be shocked! There are times when I am thinking about things that don't involve bacon, farts, my dog, my Puppy Guts, my complaints and subsequent whining about perceived injustices in my own life and whatever other inane and stupid things that I babble and wordily spew about here on this blog. But, who hasn't thought about it? "Shouldn't someone should DO something about this!"

Let's back the fuck up a little bit, shall we? Isn't ANY individual defined as "someone"? There are certain times when time is of the essence and it IS just that individual. So, I ask the question again. What would be the "moral obligation" of that individual? Does that individual actually take action and do something or   should that individual "wait and hope someone else does something...." or just stand around and hope for the best or something. Is it such a terrible thing for people not to just want to help, but actually step in and DO SOMETHING? Sure. There are more people than not, who will pay lip service and say, "Of course I would do something!" Blah, blah, blah..... It's those very same people who are cowering in the corner or looking the other way when the shit does hit the fan. I've seen it happen more than once.

I try to lead by example and do. I know what my "moral obligations" are. Things within my own circle of me and mine to things outside my own circle and well beyond. I've stopped on the side of the road to see if another motorist needed help. I've grabbed kids by the backs of their shirts or jackets when they were about dart out into the street. I won't leave an animal that's hurt or in need of help and I've been in my fair share of nervous moments when things looked like things were going to get ugly, but of course, I couldn't bring myself to leave and in my head I was plotting out my plan of attack. I mean, it all turned out to be nothing, but still...

Humanity is teetering on the edge of morality these days instead of firmly planted in it. You know... the place where right is right and wrong is wrong. Nope, right on the edge where people make excuses for their behaviors, blame things on someone else or whatever. Self righteous douchebaggery happening left right and center and that's become okay. It's acceptable.... So therefore, most people walk around believing that they have no moral obligations to their fellow man because it's someone else's problem. That doesn't make you an asshole... Seriously? But BACON forbid that if it were YOU in that situation, well, people better get up off their asses and lend a mother fucking hand! And if they don't, they're assholes.

The problem is with people. They walk around with a gigantic entitlement complex, like the world owes them everything because they alone are so fuckin' special. Their only moral obligations are to themselves, despite who ends up paying the price for their selfish douchebaggery, whether it's friends, family or their own children. They are nothing more than weaklings who feel the need to bully others just to feel better about themselves. ... And I'm supposed to be impressed by this somehow? I don't fucking think so. What really cracks me up is that they are so wrapped up in their own little lives, they don't realize that others see the truth of what they are. And those blinded, when bombarded with truth, don't stay blind for long either. I mean who hasn't been somewhere and witnessed that smug, self righteous, pompous, elitist bullshit? And most of these people don't even have a cause to be this way. They're just egomaniacal ass hats with delusions of grandeur.... I hate people...

So, these very people even see past themselves long enough to help anyone but themselves (of course, they don't see it that way, but it is....), but say they would. "Don't you think I'd do my best?" No. When your best attempts are pathetic to begin with and half assed at best.... Meeting moral obligations? No. I don't think so. If you can't even think about it or act in order to do the right thing, you're nothing more than a sorry piece of shit with an excuse for everything.

The world is a shithole that's going to hell and the more I look around, it gets a little shittier every day..... And a little warmer too.... I can't wait for anarchy and chaos to start reigning supreme and a new world order comes. When it becomes "survival of the fittest" and it's a "me and mine vs. them" thing, we'll see if my "morals" are still intact, but in the meantime, I've still got karma to fix and I will continue to step in and meet my moral obligations.

My Imaginary Minions.....

My imaginary minions are a hard working crew. They don't ever complain, they work for free, they listen and take orders well, they never question my orders whether it puts their live in danger or not and they get the job done and the job done well..... In my mind.

I've always complained that I don't have genetically engineered minions of my own to do my bidding, without question and without reason. But quite honestly, I don't really know that I would be able to rest at ease knowing that the deed was tasked to others and without having done the job myself.

Maybe its' the O.C.D. side of my nature (I do quite often talk about my A.D.D., but not too much of my O.C.D.), but I would need to know RIGHT THEN AND THERE, that my carefully calculated and laid out plans were carried out TO SPEC. by the beings (?) that had been tasked to make that undertaking a reality. Maybe it's a control issue. If I think about it, there are a few aspects in my own life I cannot control simply because I have to depend on some unreliable people. And I have to say, it's not a happy feeling.

My many plots to take over the world and ideas on how to do so will more than likely NEVER come to fruition. I will probably only have my imaginary minions that will carry out my stratagem for world domination in my mind and in my mind only. Then, I will rule the world and shape it into whatever I want to suit my needs in my head. Yes.... I live in my own little world sometimes, but it's okay. They know me there....

Onward!

There are some days that I wallow in my own self pity and roll around in it until I reek of it. It doesn't ever really last too long. Maybe it's my A.D.D., I don't know. But my attentions seem to wander away from it after a while and I end up thinking about how the way chickens walk is absolutely hysterical... Whatever! It's a quirk, okay? ( Don't mother fucking judge me you piece of shit, ass licker! You don't shit eating know me, cock sucker! Hmm.... Maybe, perhaps there is part Tourette's in there too....  Not really. I really just swear a lot because FUCK YOU!)

Sometimes, it doesn't seem so long ago that I was faced with some pretty rough times and how difficult and wretched they seemed to be. Other times, it feels like those times were a lifetime ago and I'm left wondering why they diminished me so much. Don't get me wrong. There were certain events that will stay with me for the rest of my life, but on the other hand, they didn't break me so much as shape me into the person I became.

Maybe it's just me, (call it another quirk if you must.....) but I always like to look forward. Sure, I'll wallow in the self pity and my own pathetic little abyss of downward spiraling from time to time, but on the other side of that, looking forward and looking to the future brings me comfort and peace. Having lived through some hardships and heartbreaks and living through them and coming out into the light once again, my belief that "everything is going to be okay if I have the strength and courage to make it through this...." has seen me through some rather difficult times.

It's never an easy thing to see past the misery and desolation when you're living in that moment. When the wounds are so fresh and so raw, and the agony is all you can see and feel..... It's so wretchedly, emotionally painful that it becomes something that is physically debilitating. It's a funny thing though. Although looking forward can be a tough thing, looking back at what you HAVE survived seems like steps forward. Stepping stones to get you to where you are. The foundations to moving forward. Sure, it was a tough ordeal. Sure, it wasn't easy. But here you are. What makes THIS moment any different from any of those other moments? Those moments when you thought, "THIS is the worst day of my life!" and you were able to move forward, survive and be happy again.  WHY should this one be any different? It shouldn't.

Picking yourself up by the bootstraps isn't always easy, but I think it's GOT to be more miserable to languish in the misery like some people are known to do. Come on. We all know one or two (at least). The eternal victims. The ones who love the drama and love to be miserable. I don't know. Maybe it's the attention they crave... I think it's retarded. Do these people actual think themselves worthy of any kind of positive attention? I don't fuckin' think so. You are going to be stamped a loser and while you sit in your kiddie pool of woe, the rest of the world is going to move forward without you. And WAY later on in life, the biggest regrets of those people are the "shoulda, coulda, woulda".... And all they really needed to do was put on the big boy or big girl pants and make positive steps forward.

The strength and measure of a person shouldn't be measured by the intentions of what someone would have done, should have done, could have done. It should be based on the actions of what the individual actually did. It's really rather a shame that some people can't see past the negative and see that there is  truth in doing something to move forward and upwards.

Facebook....

Don't know what it is about the Facebook thing that can be so addictive, but there you have it. Millions of people loggin in and reading the statuses and postings and musings of other people who are going somewhere and doing something or making an announcement or whatever. You post stuff, you share stuff, you make friends, you de-friend, you stalk peoples profiles, you post pictures, you look at pictures, you put up a funny something, you start arguments and debates, you console, you comment, you say "hi" and poke, you wish people a happy birthday, you "talk" to people and communicate and all sorts of other stuff and more.... And with people all over the world, that quite honestly, in real life, without Facebook, you probably never would have met.  All of this would be impossible. Some of what you read is stupid, others informative. Some of it is inane or silly or funny or sad or happy or infuriating. You can share views and opinions on all manner of things. A virtual community that erased the lines of country borders and the miles between them. How fucking cool is that shit!

As cool as this Facebook thing is though, there is a darker side to it. I know. It's true of all things. It's unfortunate, but there you have it. Cyber bullying and general threats made to people because of race, creed, color, religion, belief structure, or even of an opinion made. You've got seedy people doing seedy things. Everything from starting hate groups of a person (or a group of people, or a whole entire race of people) to the "liking" and displaying of animal torture, child porn, rape and all sort of other things that would make the normal person's skin crawl.

I go back and forth trying to figure out if Facebook is a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, here I am communicating with people from around the world, and I think it's fantastic. I get to see the world through the eyes of the people who are actually living in the places I can only hope and dream of going to visit one day. We are able to share and exchange ideas and thoughts and opinions and pictures and communicate in a way that twenty years ago was unheard of.

Then you get the darker side. If those great things are true of "well intentioned" people, it's also true of those who aren't "well intentioned" too. Thinking about the kind of atrocious "information" that can instantly be passed back and forth between dreadful people.... It kind of freaks me out.

I can come up with so many reasons why Facebook is so fucking cool, but on the other hand, I can come up with so many reasons why it's not..... And my imagined reasons as to why it's not is sometimes MORE scary than the realities that Facebook has been known to be used for. I would LOVE to think that, in the near future, Facebook is going to deal with the more "unsavory elements". I can only hope and pray that these "unsavory elements" meet an untimely and horrible death. In the meantime, I have to weigh and measure the pros and cons of this Facebook thing knowing that I've met some AWESOME people that I get to communicate with on a very convenient venue, but also knowing that I may be supporting and enabling some VERY "unsavory elements" while doing so..... Food for thought people.....

Pop and Technology.....

Most people don't know how hard it is to try and explain technology to someone who obviously doesn't get technology or EVER will. You know... Explaining "advancing technologies" to someone who only JUST got a cell phone last year, but still doesn't know how to use it. Explaining the concepts beyond an abacus and counting rocks to someone who only JUST got a computer a few years ago, but still doesn't know how to use it. Explaining that "the world got a little smaller" to someone who only JUST discovered the internet a couple of years ago, but only knows how to surf for free online porn.

Yes. My pop: The technological retard.  Technology is a foreign concept to him. Seriously. This is a guy who blew the door off of the microwave trying to hard boil an egg in a glass of water... The guy who nearly burned down the house making toast in the microwave by putting a piece of bread in it for 15 MINUTES. I mean, pop might manage as long as something doesn't require more than two steps to get done what he needs to. He's somewhat capable then. It's an unfortunate thing though that there are usually more than two steps to get to where you need to get to sometimes. You know... Because when "turning the device on..." counts as step one, well, you're basically fucked. Add in the concept of having to use reason and logic? It's a recipe for disaster. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm only a few steps above technologically retarded myself, but I'm not as bad as my pop.

Teaching pop ANYTHING takes the patience of a saint. A REALLY PATIENT SAINT. A REALLY, REALLY PATIENT SAINT who can perform miracles every five seconds to fix what the old git will inevitably screw up and/ or break. He's not patient enough to listen to ALL of the directions all the way through and forgets everything he's told about three minutes after it's told to him. I once spent a day teaching him to put a contact in the "Contacts" in his cell phone. He doesn't remember how to put a contact into his phone and he has no idea how to retrieve it, even to this day. And of course, these sessions are always riddled with him debasing me and telling me that I'm a useless idiot and a stupid animal.... And people wonder why my eye twitches every time he enters a room I happen to be in? Then to have the end result be that he learned nothing at all and that all that time was wasted anyway. :s

There are just some things in life that don't go well together. Toothpaste and orange juice. Milk and lemon juice. Drinking and driving. Plaid and paisley. Orange and brown. Yup! And of course, my pop and technology.

Nugget of Smart.......

It isn't often that I impart any kind of knowledge or bestow some intelligent nugget of wisdom very often in my inane babbling and incoherent word spewing. This may or may not be one of those times. Whatever. Take from it what you will or take from it nothing and move along. Or make a retarded face and read the words, emphasizing what I've written with sheer stupidity. Whatever, but here it is anyway.

We have a world of information out there, right at our fingertips. There is a gigantic WORLD out there that I know I won't be able to experience most of. There are so many things that I have yet to learn, know about, hear about, read about, see, experience.... It gets rather frustrating sometimes when I think on it for too long. What frustrates me more are those individuals who are so close minded that they can't understand that there is a whole world out there beyond the four walls of their comfort zone.

It's a rather sad thing to see that there are so many people who are so afraid to step out of their comfort zones that they won't even try something that might make them uncomfortable or they find scary. Something as simple as trying some new food to something like experiencing something like bungee jumping or something. What's sadder still is that these people infect their children with these same fears, and yes, I do say "fears" because that's what it boils down to. Make any excuse you want to, it boils down to fear.

I have realized that there is so much more beyond the cookie cutter norm for me AND my children and as much as I would LOVE to be able to have them experience it all, my finances limits what I can do. But that isn't going to stop me. I'll do my best to give them all I can and feed them enough "different" stuff that they will start to hunger for it on their own and want to do it when they can do it for themselves.

In a time when we are so close to having everything so near, people stick to what's comfortable. Why? It makes it hard for people to see past themselves when they have no idea what's beyond their own little bubble. It explains the reason why people seem more self centered and conceited and so very ignorant. At least that's my opinion anyway...

I MISSED You!

I love that I have my Puppy Guts and that I love him so much that I can miss him SO much. It's not that I like the idea of missing him, but just having someone that I can miss that much and DO miss that much when he's not around is kind of special. It's a rather warm and fuzzy feeling to have a special someone in your life to miss and know that the same special someone misses you when you're not around too. Then to have that "HURRAY! You're HERE!!!" moment when you do see them again. Yes, Puppy Guts. Every time! <3

STILL trying....

Yes, I'm still plotting to take over the world, although my attempts have been in vain and actually, in the grand scheme, they're pretty pathetic and lame. I've posted here about my plans for world domination, but it didn't work out for me too well... Well, I'm at it again.

I keep on oscillating back and forth between whether it would be a good idea if I ruled the world or not. The proverbial "square one" of my world domination plans. On the one hand, things would be great for me and mine. On the other side, it'd be like I was like, responsible for the rest of the people in the world too. I mean not if I was a complete fascist psychopath. Then I wouldn't really give a shit, but on the other hand, there would be a lot of people who wouldn't be too happy about the way I was running things and I would probably have to be in constant fear for my life. I mean, who wouldn't want to assassinate some psychotic asshole with all the power and wasn't doing anything for the people of the world.

I mean, if a I was a complete nutbag hellbent on making a "perfect world" that suited my needs and that I found to be acceptable, the first thing I'd do is I'd do away with all criminals like murderers, rapists, child molesters and stuff like that. None of that prison stuff for them. Instant death. Done. I'd make the punishments for doing a crime SO horrendous that people wouldn't WANT to commit crimes. In MY eden, there would be idiot tests to see whether people are worthy to breed. There would be dietary restrictions, where we would know everything that goes into the food we eat. There would be weight restrictions and those not meeting the standards would go through drastic health assessments and dieting. There would be a lot of things that I would want to see changed worldwide and meet my standards or ELSE. None of this namby pamby, peace, love and flowers, hippie dippy, liberal, leftist, occupy something bullshit.

But the thing of it is, I do care about most of the people around the world and there begins my problems. My inner turmoil as it were. There are so many changes that I want to see in our world. Some of them are not too nice and quite honestly, they may seem quite barbaric. There are others of which I truly believe would benefit humankind, but again, the methods would seem harsh. I think I'd make a great ruler of the world..... sometimes..... Good... Bad.... Good... Bad.... Good... Bad.... Good... Bad.... Good... Bad....

..... GAAAAAH! Back to square one.....

The Ebay Racket....

Well, lets think about this for a second...... This racket thing that Ebay has....
You list an item, at which time, they take a "small listing fee" and depending on how you list it, it can be anywhere from fifty cents to a couple of bucks... EVERY TIME YOU LIST IT.

So, say you have an item and the listing fee cost you sixty five cents. You put the item up for $10 and it doesn't sell in the time period you have it listed for whether it be a week or ten days or whatever. EVERY time the item is relisted, BAM you get banged out for the same listing fee. THEN once the item sells, they take their "cut" of the final selling price right off the top which is extortion rates of like 10% or more depending on some formula that they have and the type of item it is and how much it sold for.

So this $10 item gets listed and they take their sixty five cents. It doesn't sell... you relist it a few times.... Say three times. $1.95 off the top. Add to that, your final selling fee thingy at say 11%. Another $2.20. You're left with $5.85. As long as you have calculated your shipping correctly, (sometimes yes, sometimes no....), which the buyer pays, you come out on top or you don't..... and you walk away with some pocket change.... :s Damn! I wish I'd thought of doing this.....

Bitches....

I love the sorry attempts of those who call themselves "bitches" trying to be a "bitch". Doing things "just to be a bitch", having some kind of "bitch fit" to get one's way, or just being a "bitch" to try and display one's superiority over another.... Pfft! Pathetic attempts really....

There are certain criteria that must be met in order for one to be able to call themselves a "bitch". Not like one of those stupid bitches, but the ones who have reason to be proud of the fact that they are in fact a "bitch". Not the negative connotation of the word, but the positive one. You know, Beautiful Intelligent Talented Creative Honest or Beautiful Individual that Creates Haters. In the true sense though.... Not the self perceived one. 

To be this sort of a "bitch", one must be able to speak one's mind. Not the kind of inane blather that lacks coherence or intelligence. I am talking about being able to hold one's own in any kind of argument, debate or conversation and can make sense doing so.

Another point is the attitude. I am not talking about the unmerited attitude that the morons put on because they think they're so fucking awesome. I am talking about attitude. That certain confidence that shines through that can be felt by others. The kind that comes from the core of a person. It's not a superiority complex, but it is true and real. Being a loud mouthed, stupid piece of shit with a superiority complex does not a "bitch" make. That just makes you an idiot worthy of my contempt.

Being a self proclaimed "bitch", princess "bitch", queen "bitch", does not make you one either. I will laugh and point and laugh some more. The fact that you have to proclaim yourself to be one and feel the need to point it out to everyone is just pathetic and proves that you have to convince yourself and those around you that you are pretending to be something you're not. Aww.... how cute..... NOT!

:facepalm: The fact that I have to explain all of this is a lesson in futility because people either get it or they don't and likely, they won't anyway... Fuck it. Never mind. As you were...... Yes, yes.... You're a bitch. Okay? Feel better?

Veteran's Day...

Whether or not you agree with the concept of war or not, whether you agree whether we needed to be somewhere fighting or not, whether  you think that what our troops do is "right" or not, there is no denying that they are out there fighting to make sure that you have and keep the right to speak your damn mind and laud or bash them without fear of consequence. They have done so from the very beginnings of our young country. We should be thankful to those who are laying down their lives to ensure that we keep our liberties. We should be grateful to our veterans for ensuring that we are all able to be free as Americans and everything that it entails.

I'm sick and tired of hearing about, reading about and seeing anti-troop sentiments. They are being called "terrorists" and "baby killers".... According to these anti war/ anti troop nutbags, we should reach amicable resolutions through peaceful negotiations.... With countries whose sole purpose is to see the US fall and become assimilated. I'm not sure whether I see them as naive or stupid....

I am fed up with the fact that "PATRIOTISM" is just a word these days. Seeing anti-American sentiments from those who call themselves American.... WHAT THE FUCK??!?? Now, don't get me wrong. I do whole-heartedly agree that we need SERIOUS changes made to "the system". But I don't think it's going to be accomplished by sitting around on the street with signs and "occupying" somewhere, being counter-productive to EVERYTHING that they supposedly stand for.

Today is a day about giving thanks to those who have served or are serving THIS COUNTRY. I'm sure that useless tit in the white house won't say anything about today, so I guess it's up to people like me who still believe in the greatness of what this country is and could become thanks to our troops.

I, as an American, thank all of our troops, past, present and future, for your service. I promise, I haven't forgotten what this day is about.

WTF Did I Just Witness?

There truly is no explanation for certain things. They just defy any kind of logic or reason for being. Stupidity is all around us. Just look carefully and hang tight for a little while. You are sure to witness some idiot doing something stupid no matter where you happen to be.

I witness stupidity all the time. It brings me amusement for the most part , although there are certain times when I am truly saddened and frightened by the downward spiral that people's intellects are taking these days. Bah.... Whatever. It's fun watching stupid people doing stupid things and it is a form of entertainment for me.

Today's featured idiot is something of an oddity. Seriously.... I am not sure how this person is still alive. I am not really sure how he survived being him for so long. I guess Darwinism failed this time....

A guy, walking around, texting FURIOUSLY and not paying attention to his surroundings at all.... I mean NOT AT ALL..... Not stopping to look both ways while crossing the road, not looking ahead to see where he was walking. Just completely unaware of anything going on because he was texting on his phone..... :face palm: He walked into people (didn't look up to apologize), walked into a mailbox, and almost got a face full of telephone pole. People on the road beeped at him because they had to stop short, lest they run him over and he was an overall menace.

I get that sometimes we get engrossed in a conversation, but can't we sit down somewhere and do that or maybe just call and talk to that person or even meet up with the person and talk face to face? Nope. Not THIS guy. He was bound and determined to become a stain on the road or fall or something. .... Thus chlorinating the shallow end of the pool...... Hmm....... Wait a second..... Carry on there guy....

WTF Are You Feeding Your Kids??!??

I will admit, I am guilty of feeding my kids the occasional "quick meal" and will make mac and cheese as a side dish or I will get pre-made pierogis and fry them up in a pan and serve them up with kielbasa and some steamed vegetable. I have shit that I made double batches of and will keep them frozen to be brought back to life in the microwave on a later date too.... Shit. I am not going to pretend that I make "from scratch" meals for my kids every night. But I do have to question the motives of those parents who will feed their kids pre-made foods more often times than not.

You know who they are. The microwave gourmets and the kitchen scissor chefs.... Cut it out of the box and pop it in the microwave or heat it up in an oven! And what skeeves me out the most is that they believe that crap to be healthy because it says so on the box and has only so many calories and grams of fat and blah..... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??!??

Our nation is becoming the land of obese, nutritional fucktards. Children wouldn't know how to eat healthy if their lives depended on it (and if you think about it, they kind of do....) and when they are surrounded by fat or obese people and that becomes their "norm" they wouldn't know healthy body weight either.

I can understand what great pains it must take for some people to lose weight, but when the foods you are eating are crap, I don't see how that weight loss is even close to healthy or how it even happens (if it does at all) and when it does, it's fleeting and always comes back because, let's face it, there is a huge difference between healthy weight loss and NOT healthy weight loss. To top it off, if a person is REALLY needing to lose 150lbs and stops after losing half of that because "that's good enough"..... It boils down to laziness. Ugh! It's a lifestyle thing. People CHOOSE to let themselves become fat and obese.

Yes, having a salad is great, but when you're drowning the ever loving shit out of it in creamy ranch dressing? Anything processed isn't healthy even if it says "NO CARBS!" or "LITE!" on the box. And yet people don't understand that. Ew. That's not the way people were intended to eat. Our bodies weren't made to process that crap, but people will continue to consume mass quantities of it anyway because it's quick and simple.

Yes, I am skinny and I can eat whatever I want and stuff, but just because I can, doesn't mean I do. I try to set an example for my children by giving them healthy choices as well as show them that I eat healthy too. My metabolism is genetic and I can't do anything to help that. It doesn't make me a bitch. I'm tired of hearing that I'm "such a skinny bitch!" Well, you know what? You're a fat cow. Shut up and stop stuffing your face with Cheeto's and Twinkies. Step away from the McDonald's..... Put down the fucking fork. You can't possibly be that fucking hungry anyway. And if you are, just go grab a carrot or something. No dip. No dressing. Just a plain old carrot.

These things all trickle down to the children and it does them a disservice to think that it's okay to live out of a microwave. It does them a bigger disservice not to know what a healthy body weight is. The norm shouldn't be overweight or obese and eating all sorts of crap. If they see health and nutrition as the norm, they will come to incorporate it into their own lives when they are grown enough to take that on, on their own....

But I suppose it's an impossible thing to explain to someone who sees no flaws in what they're doing and or the huge mistakes they're making in their lifestyles....

STOP CALLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Despite the fact that I put my number on the "DO NOT CALL" list, I still get phone calls from random companies that I really don't care to get calls from. I've made it a habit to not answer phone calls from phone numbers that I don't recognize, unless I'm expecting a phone call from somewhere that I may NOT recognize the number....

Some will leave messages, other won't. And if I do happen to answer a call from some random company, I will hand the phone to my daughter and have her talk to them in four year old gibberish or I go off on a barrage of foul language and a tirade of some sort telling these people never to call me again. I've screamed at the top of my lungs until they hung up. I've told them to hold on and put the phone down and walked away. I've made noises that sounded like I was engaged in SERIOUS.... um..... <Ehem>..... activities. I've asked, "So.... What are you wearing...." in a very suggestive voice. I once smeared peanut butter onto the receiver and gave the phone to the dog who licked it clean while making nom nom noises.... Most of the time it works. For the most part, I make them leave messages that I will never listen to and will delete and never get to.

Yeah.... That "DO NOT CALL" list? It's a crock of shit.

Explaining Stuff to the Stupid......

Talk about the ultimate lesson in futility..... Trying to explain something to an absolute idiot. ESPECIALLY when said idiot fancies his/herself an intelligent individual, when in short, I could have explained it and had it understood by a bag of smashed assholes faster and better. Something as simple as, "You had the stop sign and I had the right of way..." becomes a lesson in basic driving skills. Crayons and paper, flashcards and a puppet show couldn't help people like these...

I truly believe that a certain set of criteria need to be met before people are allowed to breed, drive, be allowed to live among the normal people.... We really need to stop catering to the stupid and dumb things down for the less than intelligent. Our school systems are REALLY needing a serious overhaul and need to rethink the "No Child Left Behind" thing because dumbing down the curriculum to accomodate the lowest common denominator isn't what should have been done.... (But THAT discussion gets me off on a whole different kind of rant...)

Anyway, I've discovered a great way to avoid explaining things to stupid people and get out of having to repeat myself over and over again. When I feel the aura of "DUH!" emanating from a certain individual, I pretend not to understand what they're saying and play dumb. Well.... Even dumber then they are, which can be a rather daunting task sometimes. The REALLY stupid ones will just continue to repeat themselves, but LOUDER, but I continue on with my charade and eventually I just throw my hands up in the air and walk away. Problem solved....

My Musical Ability.....

I don't have any musical ability, really. I am in no way musically gifted. I can't sing, (or dance....) Sure, I can play a few instruments of various whatever, but it's not like I have some kind of talent for it....

My children on the other hand are far better at it than I ever was or ever will be. They have a knack for it, an ear for it (although I DO question some of their tastes in what they call "music"...) and I try to encourage them at every opportunity. They constantly have access to the pianos and drums and guitars and the violin and whatever else they find lying around and in the beginning, it was rather difficult to listen to, but I never begrudged them the freedoms to "practice", which I think was an awesome decision. They had to start somewhere. :sigh: Here's hoping that I end up with the next family music sensation!

He's.... right behind me, isn't he.....

I hate those moments when you're talking about someone and they're standing right behind you and you didn't know. Happens often at the house because my mom is always asking me why I don't talk to my dad too often or ever, really.....
So I go off on a tirade about how pop is a mean son of a bitch with a cruel  and hard streak with a nasty temper and the one person who should be trying to curb his crappy behavior isn't doing anything but making excuses for the nasty old coot and is instead enabling the behavior so that he continues to do it more by berating and yelling at me and calling me a worthless stupid animal who should go somewhere and die, when, in fact, this elderly nightmare would be doing the world a favor by letting go of what he claims to be such a miserable existence. POOF! He materializes out of friggin' NO WHERE..... Japanese ninja skills? You be the judge. He shuffles around the rest of the time and FLABAMMO! Right out of thin air, he's right behind me....
Then we get into battle royale over it because I'm a stupid animal, which frankly, I'm getting sick and tired of hearing, while mom sits on high doing her "martyr thing" and pop throws yet another one of his tamper tantrums.
I keep my mouth shut these days and whenever possible, I make myself scarce and stay away from the house all together. I like the silent awkwardness better anyway. At least that way I can ignore the old kooks I live with....

Keeping My Marbles.....

There are a lot of ways to keep the mind sharp. Some people do puzzles or crosswords or word games or simply just read. Other people just don't seem to care and willing let the mind go as they slide into a downward spiral into senility or stupidity or insanity.... Whatever.

Me? I prefer to stay on top of things and try to preserve as much of my mind as I can. It's an unfortunate thing though. I have the memory of a steel sieve and my attention span is spotty at best. I have to write everything down or else I may as well have NOT heard or thought of or was told to do or told to remember whatever. There are scraps of paper EVERYWHERE to remind me of something that I'm supposed to remember. The funny thing is, I remember where all the scraps of paper are..... Go figure.

I watch my dad as his mind falls apart. Most days he is lucid and functions like his normal crotchety, cranky, verbally abusive old self. On the days when he feels like he's starting to slip, he worse. It's a strange thing to see it up close and personal. He is feeling his own mortality a lot more these days and he knows that he is getting a lot more addled and confused on a regular basis. So, he lashes out at those around him. I guess it's one of those "five stages" thing..... It's just that he hasn't quite left "ANGER" yet.... I have a feeling he's gonna just be one of those miserable sons of bitches that never does and will be stuck in "ANGER" until he finally succumbs to the cold hand of death.... And death might even think twice about taking him.....

I guess it must be rather scary to know you're losing your mind slowly but surely. And on most days I do try to be sensitive of that and try not to sneer and hiss every time my dad enters the room. It's not to say that it doesn't happen, but I try to keep it to a minimum. And we continue to do our best to avoid each other on a day to day basis, as we can only be in the same room for about 15 seconds before some apocalyptic event takes place. There are certain times when it is unavoidable and it takes everything I have not to tell the old git where to shove it and where he could go in a handbasket and that I'd be happy to deliver him there myself. (I have a USPS box marked HELL..... If it fits, it ships.......)

Whether his senility is a genetic thing or not, I plan to try and make sure that I stay sharp as I would like to be more like my grams and keep all my marbles (save for a couple) until I pass away quietly in my sleep. I can't tell what the future holds for my marbles. But dammit, I won't give them up without a fight. They're MINE....

A Piece of Paper......

I've been asked by several people about my relationship with Puppy Guts and when we were going to "make it official". My quick witted and smooth reply is usually, "Huh?" It's always the same thing: "Seriously! So, when are you guys gonna get married?", while I'm still left wondering about the "making it official" thing and what the fuck that really means. Um..... Because our relationship isn't already "official"? ....Because getting married is the only way for a relationship to be "official"? What... I'm not quite sure.

So, guess what! Yup. I stopped and gave this a little bit of thought. Of course I have my own ideas and beliefs about marriage anyway, but I needed to understand a bit more about the things rattling around in my head. I mean, it's not that I think the idea of marriage is stupid. I just think that some of the people getting married now a days are stupid because they're getting married for the wrong reasons. I also feel that the institute of marriage is somewhat of a joke these days. (Don't worry. I'm gonna explain this....) So, am I really missing out on something here? The conclusion that I came to:

I realize that the intentions of those asking me when Puppy Guts and I are getting married aren't bad when asking that question (for the most part) and they aren't doing it out of malice, but I do rather take offense to the whole thing. By who's standards is my relationship to Puppy Guts defined as "official" or not? Certainly not mine. To me, their definition of "marriage" is just a piece of paper. That's the difference. It's a piece of paper. That's all it really is. Well, at least the "marriage" that they are referring to. Maybe it's that I am quite jaded, but there it is.

What did that piece of paper really mean when I was legally married. It did not a marriage make and it ain't worth shit now. It's like it never really existed at this point. It was a barely functioning, sorry excuse for a marriage that did neither one of us any good. Neither one of us was able to be what we needed for each other. It's not like we could count on each other or fit our pieces together and incorporate them into a working unit, which is what a REAL marriage is. We couldn't be what the other needed. A piece of paper doesn't and couldn't make any of that happen. It does no amount of good and only complicates things because the government gets involved and fouls up what ever DOES work and turns it into something useless. It winds up being just a piece of paper, that complicates everything. It seems that when you throw this piece of paper into the mix, what does it really change? A crappy relationship stays crappy. A non- functioning partnership remains non-functioning. If it didn't work well before, this piece of paper isn't going to make the difference! And trying to base a "marriage" on attaining this piece of paper? It ain't happening. The "relationship remains the same PLUS you have this useless piece of paper that really doesn't mean too much of anything except to lawyers and the government.....

The relationship that I have with my Puppy Guts works on levels far beyond what the cookie cutter marriages/ relationaships have, simply because we don't like to stay "complacent" in some stagnant comfort zone. We strive to go and do something that will bring something fresh into the mix that we can talk about and play with some more. I'm not talking about the sexual aspects of what we do. (Although those are fantastic and very physically demanding and always end up going to the point of one or both of us passing out...) Our lives are a lot more broad and wide than I could ever put here in any single post. It isn't based on "well, despite what you are...", but based on "because of everything that you are." It always HAS been. We love the fact that our partnership is constantly growing, changing and strengthening. We actually have the real foundations for what a "marriage" is supposed to be and it has nothing to do with some piece of paper.

And it's not that piece of paper that is going to define what my relationship to my Puppy Guts is. If it's a matter of just making a commitment and "exchanging vows" of sorts and stuff like that, that was done a long time ago. I mean, let's define what a marriage is supposed to be: It is about two people who are deeply in love with each other, are deeply committed to one another, and where there is no one above. Two souls, mated with each other, the missing half of the other without whom which neither can be whole. It's about something beyond what an outsider can break apart. It is a deep understanding of your counterpart, a solid partnership between two kindred spirits based on unconditional: trust, love, commitment, and understanding. It is about a bonding between two people that shows in everything that they are, do, and take on, done together in a functioning way, finishing any job well so that the next steps can be taken. It is about being able to communicate with your other half on a level far beyond what others have and understand that makes their relationships work. It is what many "legal marriages" lack at every turn simply because those very basic foundations are not there. Marriage shouldn't be about some ritual or some piece of paper and that is certainly not going to determine whether our relationship is "official". Ours has always been official and always will be official regardless of that piece of paper.

Moving on: Marriage isn't a random colliding of two people who think, "Yup.... This'll work...." and have it settle into routine and ultimate complacency that leads to something resembling a stagnant swamp. Growth and changes are constantly needed in order for this complacency not to happen and two kindred spirits should be happy to meet every challenge together no matter what they are doing. It has to be done far beyond just "good" and it has to be "totally", it has to be complete.

Marriage is a partnership, a commitment, a functioning and working relationship. It is not a complacency or a comfort zone, but a passionate and loving togetherness that transcends everything else you've ever had in a relationship. Marriage is a trust, a bond, a love, and an end all, be all. It is an every day celebration that begins and ends in love. I'm not talking about the rainbows popping out of my butt and flowers and sunshine and magical unicorns prancing around with fluffy baby ducks and pandas. (Yeah.... Because I'm all about THAT kind of shit...) Actual work is involved in making it all work, but when it is a true "marriage" it isn't really so much "work" and it comes naturally and easily.

Marriage or vows being exchanged isn't about what gets said before God and family and friends. It is the complete and total commitment that brings forth everything that these two soul mates are and meshing them into a whole unit capable of working individually, but can also function as one unit when working together. This should be true of every aspect in the relationship, in and out of the bedroom, from communication and discussing things from a misunderstanding to what the future holds and how they are going to get there and everything in between. Words don't mean anything unless the intent behind them is true. This is most very true when it comes to love and relationships.

Just because you say "vows" before "God, friends, and family", does it make that "marriage" real if those words are merely only a facade? If the words are just the "lip service" because of some archaic and outdated ritual, and they really don't mean anything beyond that moment, what was the point of going through it? And to bring it back around, what the fuck is that piece of paper really worth then? What did those vows mean if the intent wasn't there? Just following tradition and making it look good? Going ahead with it because people expected you to do it? It just seemed like the right thing to do? Because you wanted the fanfare and the attention? Yeah. That's a great foundation for what is supposed to be a life long commitment. And all based on obtaining that piece of paper? Pfft.... Very hollow and very shallow... No wonder some "officially married" people are unhappy if that's what they based things on. Eventually, that falls to pieces too and then what are you left with? A piece of paper saying that's it's "official"? Believe me, the hindsight on that is ALWAYS 20/20 or better.

So, to answer the question, am I gonna get married again and "make it official"? As far as both Puppy Guts and I are concerned, based on everything that our relationship is, we already are and we already have. Thanks for asking.

Are you ALWAYS like........ this?

My days always vary from day to day and I never really know what the day is going to bring or what to expect. The thing that does remain a constant, for the most part, is my consumption of caffeinated beverages and energy drinks throughout the day. Some days, I pray at the Altar of Keurig more often than others and I don't have stashes of Rock Star around all the time. So.... I guess the question, "Are you ALWAYS like.....THIS?",  is relative. It depends on the amount of caffeine and energy drinks I consume.

I get asked this question quite often though: Are you ALWAYS like... this? To answer, well, yeah. I guess I kind of am. There are always varying degrees and levels and yeah, it really does depend on my caffeination level and how many energy drinks I had consumed that day, but for the most part, this is me. This is what I do. I have a theme song for everything, I have an AWESOME soundtrack, everything ends with super movie explosions of EPIC Michael Bay/ Jerry Bruckheimer proportions (well, in my mind anyway), I am an ultra spaz, I speak my mind, I use foul language A LOT, I have attention deficit issues, I have obsessive/ compulsive issues about certain things and I can be rather abrasive. Some people find this all to be part of my charm. Others find it to be offensive and needing change. (These people don't know what fun is and need to remove the cacti from their rectums.) And still others think that I'm weird and stuff. (Those are the people with the least amount of imagination and lack intelligence.) I am tired of being something that I'm not to please other people. (Those people can go blow goats.) So, that's the longer answer to that question.

So, when I get asked, "Are you ALWAYS like...... this?" my short answer is usually : Yeah.Yeah I guess I am.

I'm not quite sure what the "this" in the questions insinuates, but well, at least I know who I am and I'm cool with it. I'm pretty sure that it means "totally, super-awesome and mega-epic, larger than life cool" though.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Crap..... We've entered the vortex of the year end holidays...... It's the inescapable shit storm of X'mas that I just can't seem to get away from..... First it's all, "YAY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!", then BLAM! Like a sledgehammer to the temple, we're bombarded by Santas and trees and tinsel and x'mas decorations and shit......

I truly hate this time of year......