Puppy Guts...

It seems that my wordy way of expressing and declaring my love for my dearest has been misunderstood and thought of as rather twisted.
Like:

"I want to club you like a baby seal and play in the puddle! Squish you until your head pops off and bat at the rest of the parts that are left twitching! Maybe roll around in the mess and lap some of it up before taking a nap in the warm gooey mess! I love you THAT much!"

Or the nickname or pet name that I've chosen for him, "Puppy Guts", is something less than endearing. 

Let's just clarify this right now. It is not that I condone animal cruelty of ANY variety and it is NOT these violent acts of wanton destruction of ANY creature's life that is the focus of my descriptions of love. 

I have always thought that the phrase "Loving some to death" to be funny. "I love you to death!"... Really? I think that's more twisted than anything else. The phrase really should have been, "I love you 'TIL death", but I won't get into the semantics... 

I just like to put more of a twist on it. If it has to be that we love someone to death, then shouldn't it be done with passion and total commitment just as it would loving someone 'TIL death? Maybe it's just me (usually is...), but I think that there is a lot of that lacking these days. 

It's not that I want to beat dear Lucky to a pulp and roll around in the mess I'd make. (Although, I have told him that I would punch him in the face if he needed me to and if it would make him feel better...) But just "loving someone to death", seems very empty and hollow. Even the words "I love you" alone are rather empty and hollow and meaningless if the intent behind them is not there or is not felt. And if I have to explain it any more than that, I suppose you just don't get it and you never will... You have my pity.

As far as my calling him Puppy Guts, it's not that I want to SEE puppy guts. (The guts belong inside the puppy, let's leave them there. ) Pet names are sweet and cute and "AWW!" ...and all too common. Honestly... I hate the idea of calling MY one and only by a name that tens of thousands of other people might be calling their "significant other". 

So, when you think "cute", you think puppies and kittens and fuzzy baby ducks and fluffy cute things, right? I took a cute fluffy fuzzy and tacked on something... else. Puppy Guts almost sounds cute, but the way the words are put together... Eh... But it works. I look at him and I know, he's MY Puppy Guts. If I call out "Puppy Guts!" in a crowded anywhere, he's really going to be the only one who answers. It's a random string of words that mean something to the two of us and perhaps no one else, in a way that evokes love and affection between me and my Puppy Guts.

...Yes ...He calls me his Kitten Puddles... As in the result of mashing a kitten under a boot heel...