Not just your average idiots...

In working in a "retail job" anywhere, you are bound to come across boat loads of idiots who ask the dumbest questions... Back in the day, when I worked in retail at a pet store, I came across many individuals that just needed to have some serious sense knocked into them... It's funny though. I mean I always answered their questions, but they always either walked away in a huff or hung up on me...

Q: Do crickets smell when they die?
A: I reckon they're not doing too much of anything when they're dead, ma'am...
Q: No, I mean do they smell bad?
A: Well, I've never sniffed a dead cricket... You're more than welcome to give it a go if you want...


Q: My hamster died a week ago and I was wondering what I should do with it...
A: ... Are you kidding?
Q: Well, no. I thought he might have been dead a week ago because he wasn't moving at all. I wasn't sure so I left him in the cage. I checked him out today and sure enough he was dead...
A: You don't have children, do you?

Q: I accidentally bought dog food for my cat. I have been feeding it to her anyway... Do you think she'll start exhibiting dog like characteristics?
A: ... Yes. It's permanent too...
Q: <Gasp!> What should I do?
A: Go home and call 911.

Q: My lizard bit me and I developed a rash...
A: Well, have you been to the doctor?
Q: No... The whole story is rather embarrassing...
A: Alright... Well, where did the lizard bite you?
Q: My crotch...
(I walked away from this one...)

Q: My daughter's dog just died...
A: I'm so sorry to hear that... What happened?
Q: I ran over him with the car. He was brown. If I got her another brown dog, do you think she would notice?

It's scary to think that it doesn't just happen in pet stores... It happens all over... Can you honestly tell me NOW that you DON'T understand why retail store employees are so surly?