Things that you see that may affect you... Or at least they should...

There are so many things that even the thought of it can send a person screaming and running away. But to actually see it... There are things that sometimes leaves things that require the "professional strength" to remove... Makes your skin crawl, puckers the sphincter and makes you throw up in your mouth a little...

Your parents schpoiking. Gaaah! You'll probably require immediate medical attention too as they'll need to stop the bleeding from your eye sockets after you try to rake your own eyes out with a rusty screw driver.

Ditto, your teenage/ college age kids with their "significant other" of the moment.

Watching someone else run over a little critter in the road and you witness the squish and pop.

Two ugly people making out in public.

Obama on TV.

Feral cats or dogs chewing on one of their brethren.

A grown man rolling around in his own shit simply because (he claims) it keeps the aliens away.

Islam/ Shariah law trying to creep in and get a foothold in the US.

Animal cruelty, child abuse, bullying, and any one of the atrocities that people commit on other people... Go ahead... Flip through the channels or open up a newspaper... You'll find something that'll turn your stomach...

The public school systems and their "policies"...

There are tons of things.. Just look outside... The world is heading somewhere really bad and it's sad because not enough of us realize it and all we can do is hoot an holler about it... I hope that by the time we get people to listen, it isn't too late...

Bed hog...

I am a self admitted bed hog of epic proportions. Granted I stand about 5'2" and weigh about 97lbs, soaking wet, fully dressed, wearing big honkin' boots, but I have the rare talent of being able to take up more than my fair share of space on even a king sized bed.
How does that happen, you may be asking yourself. Well, I am the encroaching type... First I steal the blankets. All of them. Including the one taken from the foot of the bed ( you know, the "just in case it gets cold" blanket). When Lucky tries to snuggle close to get his share of the covers, so, he rolls to his "not sleeping side" to snuggle, I move closer to him... And we snuggle. At some point, he rolls back over onto his "sleeping side" providing me with the ability to further encroach into his territory. Then, before you know it, WHAM! he's on the floor I've completely invaded his side of the bed diagonally from mine AND I have all the covers.
I'm so sorry Puppy Guts... Hi, my name is Mia (Hi Mia) and I'm a bed hog...  

IT BUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNSSSS!

Being a midnight shift cop, my poor Lucky, he does not do too well in sunlight. He's whiter than the whitest white thing. I mean SO white, he practically glows in the dark. One good thing about that is, if there is a power outage, I'll always be able to find him in the dark. Sunlight confuses him. He wears dark sunglasses and he will commence with the whining in having to be in it. He can be inside and look out a window and ask, "What is that? That bright, white stuff outside... I don't like it... " Mew, mew, mew... <Sigh!>
Stepping out into the light can get very disorienting for him. The hesitant step out and trying to touch the light, pulling his hand back as if it was in excruciating pain because the light touched him and the sad, pathetic look that sweeps across his face as he nurses his poor wittle hand he holds to his chest... Oh, and let's not forget the sad little pout.
It takes quite a bit of coaxing and reassurance to get him to get outside, but I do try my best to do it without laughing... Much... He needs his vitamin D.

Go away... You're Big

I know somebody who smiles all the time. No matter what's going on, he's smiling. It's weird. People will come up to him and start talking to him and he makes friends wherever he goes... It's because he's smiling all the time. Some people (much like myself) think "There is something seriously wrong with this guy. I think he might be ON something..." but a good portion of the time, people will smile back.
I gave it a try the other day. Instead of my usual "Don't fuckin' talk to me!" puss, I made a conscious effort to smile. What a difference! People asked me stuff, talked to me, smiled back and they didn't part like the Red Sea when I came trudging by... I didn't like it. So, I went back to my "not smile-y" face and all was right in the world again. (I do apologize if there was a shift in the time continuum or if reality got skewed somewhere or the gravitational pull on some part of the planet was switched off or even if it was that some people's chakras got misaligned or it clouded some people's auras or unbalanced someone's chi or something... It won't happen again, I assure you, as I will not make the mistake of smiling too often in public like that. It really creeped me out...) Adults are so judge-y and weird like that...
But, kids are different, aren't they... I went to volunteer at a party the kindergarten class was having in my youngest child's school. I cut bagels, I handed out plates of noms, I passed out juice, I went from table to table to make sure that the kids got everything they needed. I helped out with the party craft project that the teacher had organized and went from table to table helping to glue stuff and color stuff and glitterize stuff... Good times. I guess I must have been smiling or something because by the end of the little shindig, I had all the kids climbing on me and hugging me and talking to me and asking me when I was coming back to the class to help out. Weird thing is, I didn't mind.
I don't know at what point they go from being all cute and fun to be around to the nasty adults that I run across far too often. My hope is that the next generation doesn't turn out to be the next wave of those people or worse.
We could all learn a valuable lesson from volunteering in a kindergarten class and hanging out with a bunch of five year olds. These kids are not yet "ruined" by life. They make no judgments, don't care what you look like, they're willing to laugh with  you and talk to you no matter what. They lack the "maturity and wisdom", sure, but I think somewhere along the lines as the maturity and wisdom comes, that innocence gets lost sometimes. I wasn't trying to make a conscious effort to smile. It just happened and it was great. I wasn't expected to be anybody, I wasn't expected to do anything, just...Be. Outside of that classroom, and it came to be an effort that I had to think about and I could feel the "Go away!" aura that I usually emit coming back to the surface. The difference, at least for me, of being around little kids and big people...
People who know me well enough usually see past my "anti-social" thing. They've actually taken the time to strip away the layers and figured me out. Not that I'm a complicated being... I have my quirks and being a woman... Well... I have my moments, but just like any person, there are many facets to my personality that make me who I am. My friends are who they are BECAUSE they took the time to discover what I'm about. It's all good. At least this way here, I know who my real friends are... I'm just sayin'...

GAAAAH! COOTIES!

Some people get all "YAY!" about getting hugged. Other people... Well, not so much... But it's fun to weed out the ones who don't and hug them anyway.
I once met a woman who wouldn't shake hands. I mean, she WOULDN'T. I was introduced to her and I went to shake her hand and she looked at me like I was crazy, then looked down at the hand I was offering like it was covered in dog shit and looked back up at me and said, "I... Don't shake hands..."
I had the overwhelming urge to hug her and tell her, "There! Now you have cooties too!" just to be able to see her lose her ever loving mind. I really think it would have been funny and definitely entertaining... But, it was a social event at a friend's house and I had to be on my best behavior, so I didn't, but I really REALLY wanted to...
I know, I know... Quirk... I think this one was #317....

Memorial Day...

We come to another Memorial Day and it seems that there are still many people who need reminding of what this day is and why we have this day off... It's not so that we can have another long weekend and have an excuse to drink and have a barbecue, people. This is a day we should be giving thanks to our armed services, the men and women who gave their lives so that we can enjoy our liberties and the right to drink and have barbecues.

Regardless of how you feel about our armed forces, there is a universal truth. It is because of our troops that we have the right and continue to have the right to have an opinion about all of the things we do and to voice them and be heard. Our borders protected, our way of life preserved, from the day this country was founded and hopefully until the end of days. We honor those troops have loyally laid down their lives so that we can continue to enjoy our freedoms.

So, here we are, on this day again. Puppy Guts and I fly the colors today as we do on most days to remind those around us that we bleed red, white, and blue, are proud to be Americans and we aren't afraid to show it. We display the emblem of our nation because we want to show that we support our country and our troops on this day and every other. We show that we are grateful for the ultimate sacrifices that far too many of the men and women of our armed forces made so that we can enjoy the choice to do so. We show that we have not forgotten what this day truly is about and the reason why we have this day.

God bless our troops, all of our armed forces. Here's to you. Thank you for your service.

A lesson in futility...

There is just no reaching some people and no matter how hard you try, there is just no understanding them either. You can explain things and it won't get through to them. You can try apologizing, it won't matter. You can debate, argue, use charts and diagrams, write a 100 page dissertation breaking down every little thing into short simple words... Nothing.
Life's too short to have to worry about the morons who can't see past their own selfishness and stupidity. I'm learning to cut them loose and go on about my business instead of trying to please aforementioned morons. I don't have enough time in the day or the patience to have to deal with idiots. I would just as soon leave the "unreachables" where they are and let them be unreachable far away from me. There are people who I do care about and love that I'd much rather be around anyway.
I wouldn't call myself a quitter because I'm "giving up"... Nope. I see it more as being opportunistic to find happiness instead of being sucked in and dragged down and become a true "quitter" wallowing in misery and trying to infect as many other people as possible.

Okay, you're stranded on a deserted island...

A quick and fun game to play with friends... Basic essentials aside, and figure your survival is 100%... What do you have with you? Who do you have with you? What do you do?
I have seen this discussion turn VERY heated and it's fun to watch. This is especially true if  you have an economically diverse mix of people who are single or married, with different political views,  religious views, sexual orientation, have different belief structures and it get's even MORE fun if there is a mix of cultures too. Add a little bit of beer to this mix and it's better than an episode of Jerry Springer! I've seen this one in action and being an avid people-watcher, this one was a hoot!

Run! Mom knows and she's coming!

I've probably done things in my childhood that may have lead to the premature graying of my parents' hair and the shortening of their lives... The general mischief making, the fighting, the street racing of cars... But I was never a bad kid...
I try to remember that the things that my kids do might be bad, but my kids themselves aren't... Sure they do things that drive me nuts... But in the grand scheme, they're good little monkeys... And I have twice the number of kids that my parents did.
I'm doing my best to try and pick my battles with my kids and I try my best to make sure that I don't fall into the trap of doing the things that MY parents did that I still whole-heartedly disagree with and/ or drove me nuts.
And despite the fact that their time is split, I will make sure that I remain consistent, strong, responsible, reliable, available and caring  and give them the freedom within structure that they need,  so that they can become unique individuals who understand a good work ethic, responsibility and can do the shit when shit needs to get done. Sure they hate me now, but years from now, I know they'll see that I was right.

Love...

I guess it is kind of hard to describe something like "love" isn't it? Sure, it's a feeling or emotion... that what? It's always a little bit different from person to person and the feeling covers a wide range of things... I love pizza! I love bacon! I love my children! I love my Lucky! Obviously, I have a strong affinity for a lot of different things, but to try and describe all the levels and varieties and intensities and whatnot?
And what is this nonsense that animals don't feel love or any kind of emotion... Okay, the statement that animals don't "feel" is OFFICIALLY rejected, labeled as inane and stupid and has been tossed out. I've had pets that have shown more love in their short lifetimes than some people are capable of in their entire lifetime. Moving on...
So, is love an action? Is it a tangible something? Is it an overwhelming emotional "Woo HOO!"? Is it a physical thing? Is it something that we think? Is it something deeper than that? I mean there are times when a person "thinks" they love someone or something... I'm sure we've all heard someone say, "Well I thought I loved <whatever person, place thing...>, but..." and the whole "I love <pick your noun>, but..." what is that? I can understand saying it about a place... I love Japan, but it's so damn crowded and everything is so fuckin' expensive... I can understand saying it about a thing... I love spicy food, but I end up paying the price later... But to say that about a person? I love you BUT...
I really don' think that there should be a "but" attached to saying "I love you" to a person, whether it be a best friend, a lover, a family member, a child... Maybe it's a "semantics" thing... I could just be an issue I have... I think there shouldn't be  conditions put on whether you love someone or conditions put on the love itself... Think about the implications if YOU were to hear, " I love you, but..." from your friend, your significant other or a family member.
I've never heard an "I love you, but..." come out of Lucky's mouth . That's how I know I've got the real deal. I don't need to be anything or anyone other than who and what I am. And he'll not hear it from me... Ever.

Foul language...

I'm not really sure who it was that determined what "foul language" really is... I mean I know that there are the "seven things you can't say on t.v. or radio" : shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cock sucker, mother fucker and tits. Fine... I get it. I use them all, but I guess it's a choice... I try to keep the language appropriate and omit the seven "no-no"s and opt for things like "crap!" or "Shitake!" or "fork!" or something, especially around children and old folks. I think it's the right thing to do... But I really think there are so many other things that are far more offensive to hear or say or deal with than a "cuss word"... I'm just saying...

People suck...

I hate people more and more each day... They're rude and pushy and have entitlement complexes that run a mile wide, a mile deep and a mile long. I am NOT going to kowtow to some rude bitch who decides her shit doesn't stink. I am not going to play subservient to some asshole who thinks he's the second coming of Christ. I am not going to yield to some douche because of a superiority complex. I am not afraid to hip check someone in a line when they deserve it. I am not afraid to tell someone that they're being an ass when they are CLEARLY being an ass. I am not afraid to dole out a verbal spanking to someone who is clearly in need of one.

How to deal with a narcissist.......

There are people in my life who fit the very definition of the word "narcissist". I'd like to take a little time today to offer up a lesson to people about how to identify one and how to deal with them. Now, I am in NO WAY a psychologist, therapist, psychoanalyst, psychiatrist, head shrinker, yip skip dippity doo dah "let's-talk-about-our-feelings"guru or anything, but, I feel as if though I need to get this all out there because narcissism has become an epidemic. Look at the world around us.... Think about the people we are forced to deal with. I can personally say that most people fall victim to these narcissistic people on a daily basis and don't even know it or realize it. Maybe if I throw this out there, you'll be able to recognize it and be able to deal with the problem and eliminate some sources of stress in your life. Seriously....

So, let's start off by defining narcissism. Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity, or egotistic admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, that derive from arrogant pride. The term originated with Narcissus in Greek mythology who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Narcissism is also considered a social or cultural problem. Except in the sense of primary narcissism or healthy self-love, narcissism is usually considered a problem in a person or group's relationships with self and others. Narcissism is not the same as egocentrism. Four dimensions of narcissism as a personality variable have been delineated: leadership/authority, superiority/arrogance, self-absorption/self-admiration, and exploitative-ness/entitlement. Most of these things are self perceived and the adulation they seek is NOT deserved. 

There are certainly very recognizable traits that, with a little bit of observation, you can pick out right away. I mean, it's not always about them scoping out a mirror to admire themselves, like Narcissus and his reflection. Narcissism encompasses all sorts of self centeredness and I am here, as a public service announcer, to help you recognize other behaviors of the typical narcissist. It is not necessarily just one of these behavioral traits that will define what a narcissist is. Usually a combination, but it's pretty plain to see once you know what you're looking for. Here is a list of these behaviors. It's not just limited to these, but you'll get the idea.

• An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges. Basically how, when talking to someone, the focus of ANY conversation will become about them.

• Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships. Well, it's difficult to maintain a relationship when it's all about them, isn't it?

• A lack of psychological awareness. Everyone else is crazy.... Didn't you know? 

• Difficulty with empathy, because no one else matters. They live in their own little worlds where everything is perfect because THEY are perfect. The only problem is, they don't realize that WE have to share the planet with them.

• Problems distinguishing the self from others. This mostly happens because everything is always about them. Their life is more interesting, more important, more tragic, more whatever. 

• Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults. Because how can anyone ever think they are anything less than perfect?  It can almost look like paranoia at times. The thought of themselves being judged by others is intolerable. So even perceived insult or judgement is unforgivable.  

• Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt. Shame is a bit shorter term than guilt. One eventually gets over feeling shame, whereas feelings of guilt is admitting wrongdoing, which will never happen with a narcissist. But shaming them is easy, because they will never admit fault, they'll try not to acknowledge it, they'll eventually reason it away, but pointing out their shortcomings and hounding them about it can bring about shame.

• Haughty body language. They seriously think they're better than everyone. Nose in the air, looking down on people. You can also hear it in their intonation when they speak. It's almost like they're talking down to you.

• Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them, well, because, they NEED that perpetual approval and constant ego stroking. The cruelest thing to do to a narcissist is to stroke their ego, then cut them down, then stroke their ego again, only to cut them down once more. 

• Detesting those who do not admire them. Well, like I said, they need constant reassurance and ego stroking. Actually, they demand it. How dare you not give it.  

• Using other people without considering the cost of doing so, because, well damn it! To them it's really not "using" per se. It's a means to an end...... Their own megalomaniacal end, other people be damned.

• Pretending to be more important than they really are. They need to showcase their own self importance. Status and how people perceive them is super important to them. It's a facade they need to create, showing how "happy" their lives are, how "successful" they are, how "great" their relationships are, but the reality is, it's only in their own minds.  

• Bragging (subtly, but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements. Again, it is all about this incessant need for approval and feeding their own egos. They need to show people how important they are despite the fact that it is completely undeserved. Again, it is more facade. They need attention and approval and accolades in order to thrive.  

• Claiming to be an "expert" at many things. They are nothing more than Google scholars. You'll hear things like, "I've spoken to experts about this...." Or better yet, "I've done extensive research on the subject..."They will keep on talking about a subject that they have NO idea about, and continue to talk out of their asses despite being shown how wrong they are or how stupid they sound, while continuing to believe that they are still "the expert".  

• Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people. Seriously? There is no reasoning with these people. They are lost causes. Logic completely escapes them. It is their way. That's it. That's why they will always believe they won an argument. Any argument. 

• Denial of remorse and gratitude. They will not apologize because they feel they've done nothing wrong. They will justify their actions until the day they die. And gratitude? Pfft. Forget it. You SHOULD be doing them favors. You're welcome. 

So, how do these traits manifest themselves? Well, there are the seven deadly sins of narcissism: 

Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways. But seriously, that is what lurks just beyond the surface because on the inside, they know how wrong they are and they know how much of a lie their lives really are, but they will rationalize and justify everything in their own sick and twisted ways in order to keep the facade up for themselves, even LONG after those around them have seen them for what they really are. 

Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others. This projection is used simply to deflect blame onto someone else or to take the negative spotlight off of themselves. 

Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may re-inflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else. They will resort to malicious behaviors "just to be a bitch" or withhold on obligations to punish others. They feel like they are better than everyone around them and will go above and beyond to make sure that they make you know it too. If these actions go unnoticed, you will feel their pettiness and subsequent retribution, no matter how trite.

Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person. They may not even acknowledge another person's talent at all. Actual competition freaks them out, especially when there is a possibility that they will lose. They are cowards and will haughtily dismiss anything or anyone that may threaten their own self importance. 

Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage. Anything that doesn't meet their own status quo is considered an affront. Any change or deviation from that status quo is unacceptable. In their minds, the law does not apply to them, neither does showing common courtesy. 

Exploitation: It can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed. Emotional blackmail can be a common weapon used by the narcissist in order to get what they want too.

Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other. It is about their own needs being met and that is all.

Great..... Right? So, how do you deal with these people? It seems an impossible task, no? Honestly, it's really quite simple. Their self loathing and shame lay so close to the surface it's not even funny. That arrogant self love is a thin, brittle and easily shattered facade. How do you shatter it? Stand your ground and confront them with everything you know they hate about themselves. Bombard them with everything you know they are ashamed about. Bring to indisputable light, what they did wrong, how it is wrong, why it is wrong and how it is their fault. It's an awesome thing to watch that thin, crusty veil shatter like one of those glass ball X'mas ornaments. Be consistent. Don't kowtow to their self imagined greatness because that's where they get their power. They will do anything and everything to maintain their own self perceived superiority, whether by lying, using tears and emotional blackmail, debasing and verbal abuse, name calling, deflection, irrational justifications and straight up denial. Keep calm and carry on. The calmest person in the "conversation" is the one with the power. Challenge their ego and they will NOT remain calm. Stand tall and don't back down. 

The "incredulous look" works great too. Here's how to do it: Give them an unimpressed look filled with disbelief, dripping with judgment and condescension. And don't say a word. Maybe shake your head a little and roll your eyes, but DO NOT SPEAK. It's an absolutely LOVELY tool. And watching them stutter and fall on themselves through the rest of the "conversation" and watching their egos disintegrate is truly GOLD!  They will puff out their chests and continue to try and impress you anyway, trying desperately to reassert their self perceived superiority. The final blow is basically a "talk to the hand" maneuver, an eye roll, and then walking away. Maybe throw in an barely audible "Loser!"  there under your breath as you walk away. They'll still remain narcissistic, but they won't talk to you because you will be perceived by them as a lost cause and their fragile little egos couldn't bare to deal with that again.  

They aren't anything more than cowards and they do NOT like to have a critical "mirror" pointed at them so that they can actually see how they aren't what they claim to be. They don't really want to know what they really are. That's why they've created a world of their own: A bubble in which they live. It comes down to self preservation because they really can't face themselves, their shame, their shortcomings, their flaws, their inabilities, their need for constant affirmations, acceptance and approval.  Eventually, it will come to a point where they feel it is not longer worth it for them to try and convince you of their superiority and self centric greatness. Will it stop them from being an self loving / loathing / loving / loathing egomaniac? No. But at least you'll no longer have to deal with it as much.

Yup... Sound familiar? 

You're welcome.

What makes you think I care?

Dude... This is my serious face. Really... So, what in the hell makes you think I care?
I can appreciate the people who just want to make nice and start random conversations  with strangers in places like the post office while waiting in line. It passes the time and sometimes, it's actually kind of cool.
At the post office the other day, standing in the line, (go figure!) some guy commented on the tattoo on the back of my neck. We got into a conversation about ink, blah, blah, blah. At some point, he swings the conversation into a soliloquy about his cock and ass. Dude... TMI. I don't want to know, so I gave him the "Dude, are you serious?" look. He goes into "Oh, that's not what I meant, get your mind out of the gutter..." mode feeling that he just got shot the fuck down because I didn't go into giggly flirt mode at the mention of his privates. He tried to redirect the conversation and asked if I wanted to go get a coffee at the Starbucks. I told him to go fuck himself. Was that wrong?

Old People...

Yeah, I know, I know! Some of 'em can't drive, some of 'em are slow as molasses, some of 'em smell kinda funny... I get it...
But have you ever taken the time to TALK to them? I find it amazing when I come across someone who LIVED through Black Thursday and the Great Depression, WWII, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, prohibition... All sorts of stuff that some of us "young-un's"  these days can't imagine because we weren't there... Some old people are ornery and won't talk to you or even look at you... Who can blame them. They don't get the "respect the elderly" thing too often, do they... But get one who's willing to share? It's a pretty rare treat. Maybe it's just me, but I love to hear the stories that start off with "I remember the time when I was X years old... That was WAY back in nineteen twenty something,  thirty something, forty something..." Reading history books is alright... Hearing about it from someone who was there is pretty priceless...

Dressing up your dog? Really?

I was out and about with the kids and there was this woman carrying around her dog in one of those dog purses... She was dressed up in pink Burberry... And so was her dog. A kerchief collar with matching shirt looking thing...
The poor dog did NOT look happy. It's bad enough to be toting the dog around like a friggin' accessory, but to dress them up like a retard too? I mean there are dogs and cats who's people dress them up for the holidays... Halloween, Christmas... That's bad enough. But this woman went out of her way, not only to dress up the dog, but dress up the dog in an outfit matching hers... THEN to top it all off, stuffed the animal into a shoulder bag to tote the poor critter around in... Where the hell are those PETA people on THAT one?
People! Really. Don't do it... A bandana... Maybe... But beyond that or just a plain collar and tag is just cruel...

Hell in a handbasket...

I saw a thing on youtube.com some time ago and it chilled me to the bone. Seriously...

It was a short something about an experiment some guy was doing and how desensitized people were to things going on around them and have adopted the "it's not my concern, let someone else take care of it..." mentality.

So, this is how it worked. He had this little girl, school aged... Maybe 8 or 9 I guess, pretend that she was in distress. She was being grabbed and dragged off by a "stranger". It was in the middle of the day, on a rather crowded sidewalk. She was pleading with people to help her. She was yelling out "Who are you? I don't know you!" and stuff like "You're not my daddy! Stop! Please help!"
There was no denying that she got people's attention. Most of them stopped to look and see what was going on, but then continued to walk away. Some people went as far as crossing the street to avoid reaching the "commotion" on the sidewalk. Really? Some time later, after several runs... Someone finally stopped. A group of guys who FINALLY took notice, stopped and were going to do something.
The scary part is, if this had been a real incident, that girl would have been taken along with six or seven more... (Not too sure how many tries they took before someone finally stopped, but I think the guy mentioned that they had been there for a pretty lengthy amount of time... A couple of hours maybe?)
It's sad to me that even a child crying out for help won't call forth action by the average citizen. Even with the horror stories of child abduction stories and the number of missing children reported and the atrocities committed on children that we see on the news, see in the papers, hear on the radio... Amber alerts and pleas from parents on television desperately trying to be reunited with their children... People turn a blind eye...
Now stop and think about this for a minute. Imagine the number of child abduction cases that have occurred. They can't all have been in the middle of nowhere, in a dark alley, where no one saw anything... If someone had taken a minute out of their lives, I think some of those kids would probably be home now, doing whatever it is that kids are supposed to be doing, instead of being a statistic. Maybe it's because I'm a parent and these kind of things hit closer to home. I would think it shouldn't matter when a child is concerned... How does that phrase go? It takes a village to raise a child? Well, the village is on the highway to hell. Most people are so wrapped up in their own shit, that they really don't care about anything outside themselves. They are more worried about covering their own rear ends, they are worried more about how the world perceives them, they are more concerned about the things they are able to get away with, they are more concerned about what is theirs, what they perceive to be theirs, what they wish was theirs and using underhanded methods to get at them because they deserve it, damn it! It's none of any body else's business as long as I get what I want and to hell with everyone who isn't me. Innocents get trampled along the way and of course everything get self justified and that's all that matters.
It makes trying to follow the high road difficult... This new path I have been working to pave for myself has been frustrating. It's so easy to get sucked back in to the negativity spirals because it's simple. It takes no effort at all to be a nasty, self righteous, selfish piece of shit. All you have to worry about is yourself. There's too much of that in the world. But I will admit, the high road and paving a path positivity has been a difficult task. Do a falter? Sure. I'm only friggin' human. Will it keep me from trying again? Hell no. I'm stronger than that. Would I have stopped and given that guy a righteous beating before I asked questions? Yeah... Yeah I would have. Most definitely.

Puppy Guts...

It seems that my wordy way of expressing and declaring my love for my dearest has been misunderstood and thought of as rather twisted.
Like:

"I want to club you like a baby seal and play in the puddle! Squish you until your head pops off and bat at the rest of the parts that are left twitching! Maybe roll around in the mess and lap some of it up before taking a nap in the warm gooey mess! I love you THAT much!"

Or the nickname or pet name that I've chosen for him, "Puppy Guts", is something less than endearing. 

Let's just clarify this right now. It is not that I condone animal cruelty of ANY variety and it is NOT these violent acts of wanton destruction of ANY creature's life that is the focus of my descriptions of love. 

I have always thought that the phrase "Loving some to death" to be funny. "I love you to death!"... Really? I think that's more twisted than anything else. The phrase really should have been, "I love you 'TIL death", but I won't get into the semantics... 

I just like to put more of a twist on it. If it has to be that we love someone to death, then shouldn't it be done with passion and total commitment just as it would loving someone 'TIL death? Maybe it's just me (usually is...), but I think that there is a lot of that lacking these days. 

It's not that I want to beat dear Lucky to a pulp and roll around in the mess I'd make. (Although, I have told him that I would punch him in the face if he needed me to and if it would make him feel better...) But just "loving someone to death", seems very empty and hollow. Even the words "I love you" alone are rather empty and hollow and meaningless if the intent behind them is not there or is not felt. And if I have to explain it any more than that, I suppose you just don't get it and you never will... You have my pity.

As far as my calling him Puppy Guts, it's not that I want to SEE puppy guts. (The guts belong inside the puppy, let's leave them there. ) Pet names are sweet and cute and "AWW!" ...and all too common. Honestly... I hate the idea of calling MY one and only by a name that tens of thousands of other people might be calling their "significant other". 

So, when you think "cute", you think puppies and kittens and fuzzy baby ducks and fluffy cute things, right? I took a cute fluffy fuzzy and tacked on something... else. Puppy Guts almost sounds cute, but the way the words are put together... Eh... But it works. I look at him and I know, he's MY Puppy Guts. If I call out "Puppy Guts!" in a crowded anywhere, he's really going to be the only one who answers. It's a random string of words that mean something to the two of us and perhaps no one else, in a way that evokes love and affection between me and my Puppy Guts.

...Yes ...He calls me his Kitten Puddles... As in the result of mashing a kitten under a boot heel...

Duh...

My dad spent a good part of an hour hootin' and hollerin' about his missing glasses. Running around the house looking for his reading glasses that he swore either, I misplaced, the kids misplaced, my mom misplaced or the house ate. He went on a grumble fit of how people shouldn't touch the things that he leaves around or that aren't theirs. Everything is put where he knows where it is and we were all a bunch of asses for screwing with his system. We should all be ashamed of ourselves and none of us are worthy enough to be in the presence of his greatness. His self righteous rant was quickly brought to a screeching halt when I pointed to his head and said, "You mean the glasses on your head? Are those the ones you're looking for??!??"
We had peace in the house that day because he refused to come out of his man cave because I pointed out how WRONG he was. Aaaah... Silence is golden.

Ungh...

Some days, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed...
I woke up with the signs that foretold that a migraine from hell was on its way. Always a GREAT time. I knew it was coming WAY before the pain set in... The tunnel vision, the ringing in my ears, the unsettling blah feeling in my stomach, the stabbing pains in the eyeball and the floaty things that I can't make go away...
Despite a migraine or any other ailments that come my way, it doesn't stop the day from coming and moving forward. Yippee! I pop a bunch of Advil Migraine, chase it with a coffee with double scoops of everything and go about what I need to. Functioning with a debilitating migraine. Always a HOOT! Bright lights you can hear and noises you can see, all bring on rushes of blinding pain starting right behind the eyes all the way to the base of the skull. Any type of movement causes something similar to vertigo and waves of nausea sets in. Sounds like a party, yeah? The only thing I can do is pray that I choked down enough caffeine and Advil that will prevent any more misery AND wait for them to start doing their thing and lessen what is there so that I can at least function without crying. But despite all that, I did manage to get everything done. Those are the times I feel like Supermom...

Multilinguism...

When I was little, I used to think it was so stupid that I had to go to Japanese school on Saturday. I missed out on all the Saturday fun because I had to go to school. Bummer.
I never actually saw the purpose of knowing other languages until I got older and making fun of people in something other than English was kinda fun or visiting Japan and busting out in French or Spanish amused me or just plain out confuse the snot out of people by mish mashing five or six different languages just because.
A woman once asked me if I dreamed in Japanese or English. It actually caught me off guard because I never really thought about it. I mean, I've had dreams where there were words spoken in Russian or German, I've had partial conversations in French or Spanish, and it's always when I'm talking to my parents that I'll rattle off in Japanese, but for the most part, my dreams were in English I guess. Weird...
I've been trying to get my kids to use the little Japanese they know around the house and they're coming along. It doesn't seem like a bad idea for them to pick up something other than English. Lucky has been making the attempt too. It's cute. He can say "Good Morning", "Good Day", "Good Evening" and "Good Night", "Thank you", "You're welcome" and "Happy New Year!". "I'm going!", "I'm back", "I'm gonna eat", "I'm done". Little by little...

He can be such a PANSY!

My Lucky will go charging into the woods at night in a blizzard to help look for lost children. He will take apart a car and put it back together running better and faster. He can be an all night love machine, keeping the motor burnin' stoopid hot. He can fix shit, shoot shit, cook shit, beat the shit out of something or someone if the need arises. He loves cars and other things that go "Vrooom!" and food, guns, dogs, bacon, movies with explosions and gratuitous violence. He can handle pain and blood, goes to the gym and works out hard, works hard, plays hard and gets the shit done. A hairy, sweaty, knuckle dragging man's man by every definition.
But spiders? Um... No.  ♥

Nightmares...

I don't usually remember too many of my dreams or nightmares. Maybe a part here or a part there... Nothing ever too solid.
I once had a dream/ nightmare that, well, I wasn't too sure what to think  of. It wasn't one of those terrifying monster laden, somebody died, your dog got run over, your house is on fire, someone is chasing you, there's something after your kids kind of end up bolt upright, wide awake in your bed, screaming and sweating kind of dreams... Well, let me explain.
So I was at an Anthrax concert, (I don't think I even know any of their songs... Or if the people in my dream were them...), except it was outside in a field somewhere. After it was over, I was still there (I don't know why) and they were acting like jerks on the stage so I went all Couching Tiger, Hidden Dragon kind of kung fu on their asses... Funny thing was, I kind of knew that I was dreaming, so It got even more outrageous. Somehow, in my mind, these assholes were real and caught in my dream. So I was all, "Mwah ha ha! This is MY domain and here I am a GOD!!!!" Lightening bolts and fire and things blowing up... Attack bunnies raining down from the sky, flying platypi zooming all around, flaming squirrels, talking toilet paper,  I mean the whole nine yards! I was their ultimate nightmare and anti-fan...
Then I woke up. Trying to make sense of a dream sometimes is yet another one of those exercises in futility. I know that there are TONS of books on interpreting dreams and crap, but that's what they are. A load of crap. I'd like to challenge one of those people writing those books to try and make heads or tails of some of the dreams I have. It'd be amusing to watch their brains short circuit... Besides, I think there are just things that should remain not making any sense... Probably better that way. They probably don't make sense for a reason.

Her Napoleon complex....

Legit: These are really MY kids. My eldest son and my
daughter. And yes, That is  a real ball peen hammer she
is hiding behind her back.

It seems my daughter is becoming more the brute than the princess.... I've always said that because she has three older brothers, she was either going to be a girl-y, girl-y princess poofy pants or an absolute terror... It would seem that she has opted for the latter with a twist.

She will cry while beating her brothers and scream "Stop hitting me!".

She will wear pink ALL THE TIME and make it known that she will f*ck your sh*t up if she does not get what she wants, when she wants it, which is now.

She will grab the toy, whatever toy, that her brothers have because THAT is the one she needs to play with. If it is not relinquished, she will beat the crap out of the person holding the toy "captive" with a fairy princess wand while screaming, "It's MINE!!!". Once the toy IS relinquished, it is no longer amusing and she has her sights on something else that her brothers are playing with.

Just because she decides that she wants to wear a dress, it doe not mean she won't  f*ck your sh*t up.

She is the only "baby" on the face of the planet. She will acknowledge that there may be others, but she is the "Pwetty, pwetty pwincess" and you will tell her so.
If her brothers had to suffer her brutality, it was not enough if they were lively enough to tell on her. She will not make that mistake again...

Cute is her greatest weapon. She will exploit it while smacking her brothers with her fairy princess wand (her weapon of choice).

Yeah, I know. For the most part, she and her brothers get along just fine and they play very well together. Her tyrannical nature comes out when she is tired or just plain cranky. Although the behavior parts are curbed, I will never try and crush that spirit. I'd love to see her grow up to be a woman who isn't gonna take shit from anybody...

Cowards...

Cowards are the worst type of people. I'm serious. Think about it. They hide and cower and let someone else take care of the problems and only come out to fight when they know their opponent is weaker, much like bullies. Funny thing is, if you call them out on their bluff and stand firm and swing back, they run for cover.
I think that it's disgusting for people to be running scared all the time and not doing anything about it. Won't fight losing battles, won't help, won't apologize, won't take chances, won't ANYTHING except live in a reality challenged la-la land where nothing matters. It's pathetic.
Sure, sometimes living out there sucks simply because when there are falls to take, they're pretty steep, but in the long run, the successes FAR outweigh any failures and are much more gratifying. I'm just sayin'...

Hair Spray.....

Helmet hair... I saw a woman with it. It was scary. It didn't move. There were probably more hair products in her hair than a local salon carries. She had the pouf in the front (a solid mass of hair, gel, spray and what I am guessing was super glue) with the rest of her hair slicked back in an impossibly tight ponytail that hung down in a chunk on the back of her head. I'm not kidding. She shook her head, and her hair didn't move. It didn't swish, it didn't flow, it didn't ANYTHING. It was, quite literally, a helmet of hair...
I was going to ask her if I could touch it or poke it to see if it was as solid as it looked, but the way she was swinging her head around, I was afraid I may have gotten a concussion if she hit me with her hair. Wow... I was rendered speechless.

Comfort is...

Comfort is...
- a big dog that will let you hug it when you've had a really shitty day, until you feel better...
- big goofy smiles from your kids on your birthday after they made you breakfast in bed.
- hearing " I love you..." from a lover and knowing that he means it and that there will never be a "but..."
- enjoying a warm cup of tea on a cold day, while you're wrapped up in a super soft, comfy blanket.
- hearing the happy giggling sounds of your children when you're playing a simple board game with them.
- having the people closest to your heart all under the same roof and sitting down with them and eating supper together.
- waking up in the middle of the night after having a bad dream and hearing the steady breathing of your lover and feeling his arm wrapped around you.
- knowing that the ones you love are all safe and sound.
- knowing that no matter what time of day or night, there's someone that you can call who will be there come hell or high water when the shit hits the fan.
-roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our backs...
-having the ends meet with a little left to spare.
- hearing the contented snores of an old dog after a long day of play.
- knowing that I'm going to be okay and that I can and I will.

Holy COW! That scared the crap outta me!!!!

So, some time after I fell asleep... In the middle of the night, I hear SCREAMING right outside the bedroom window. Not just a little... A LOT! It sounded someone was torturing a baby... NO joke.
Being woken up out of a sound sleep by a noise like that? I was bolt upright and running through the house to do a headcount in 0.2 seconds flat... Not one of mine <Phew!>... Heartbeat goes from 98,576 beats per second to about half that... But the screaming continues... Mad dash to the window...
Turns out it was two cats "goin' to town" in the rain, right outside on the deck below my bedroom window... Stupid cats... I opened the window and threw a shoe at them... I would go get the shoe, but it's raining and they probably peed in it. Stupid cats. Marinated properly though, they're actually quite tasty...

Not just your average idiots...

In working in a "retail job" anywhere, you are bound to come across boat loads of idiots who ask the dumbest questions... Back in the day, when I worked in retail at a pet store, I came across many individuals that just needed to have some serious sense knocked into them... It's funny though. I mean I always answered their questions, but they always either walked away in a huff or hung up on me...

Q: Do crickets smell when they die?
A: I reckon they're not doing too much of anything when they're dead, ma'am...
Q: No, I mean do they smell bad?
A: Well, I've never sniffed a dead cricket... You're more than welcome to give it a go if you want...


Q: My hamster died a week ago and I was wondering what I should do with it...
A: ... Are you kidding?
Q: Well, no. I thought he might have been dead a week ago because he wasn't moving at all. I wasn't sure so I left him in the cage. I checked him out today and sure enough he was dead...
A: You don't have children, do you?

Q: I accidentally bought dog food for my cat. I have been feeding it to her anyway... Do you think she'll start exhibiting dog like characteristics?
A: ... Yes. It's permanent too...
Q: <Gasp!> What should I do?
A: Go home and call 911.

Q: My lizard bit me and I developed a rash...
A: Well, have you been to the doctor?
Q: No... The whole story is rather embarrassing...
A: Alright... Well, where did the lizard bite you?
Q: My crotch...
(I walked away from this one...)

Q: My daughter's dog just died...
A: I'm so sorry to hear that... What happened?
Q: I ran over him with the car. He was brown. If I got her another brown dog, do you think she would notice?

It's scary to think that it doesn't just happen in pet stores... It happens all over... Can you honestly tell me NOW that you DON'T understand why retail store employees are so surly?

If the world ended tomorrow...

It's something that I think about from time to time... I've come to the conclusion that there are going to be two ways for someone to go out...
Simpering in a corner somewhere or going out kicking and screaming and fighting the whole way. If the world is going to end, then there would be no consequences you'd face for the things you do... Hmm... Well, I can think of volumes of people that deserve an Old Testament style beat down of biblical proportions... I am not talking about the people that pissed you off or cut you off in traffic... I am talking about people who have done WRONG. Imagine being able to go to a high security prison and selecting your scumbag of choice to torture, maim, abuse, beat, slap around, humiliate... I'm not talking about one of those white collar crime people... I am talking the REAL scumbags... or maybe travel somewhere to go a-scumbag-huntin'...
The world is going to be in chaos annyway... There would be no more law, there would be no more order, there would be nothing but utter chaos... People would be panicking and going nuts... Sheep I tell you... Sheep. It's the reason why the "gom'ment" is going to keep it from us, "the man" won't tell us what's going on...
I guess it would just be a good idea to go on about life like the world is going to end tomorrow. Fight when there are battles to be fought, love like you won't ever see someone ever again, apologize when apologies need to be made, speak up when something needs to be said, hug your loved ones and kiss your kids and tell them that you love them and make sure that when the lights go out, you're not saying I wish a woulda...

I am SUCH a girl!

Yes... Yes I am.
I've used a screwdriver to pound in nails... I've also used a shoe, a rock, a book and a can of paint... The last one didn't work out so well...
I've used a butter knife to screw in screws... I've also used a penny, a credit card, a paper clip, and a pen... That last one didn't work out so well again...
I've used a pair of chopsticks to undo bolts, I've used kitchen shears as pliers and I once used a bucket as a step stool in the garage... That last one didn't work out so well...
It makes some men cringe while others may see the ingenuity in some of these ideas. Some people have even gone as far as calling me stupid...  But at least I got the shit done, which is far more than I can say for some people...