I am addicted to the show River Monsters with Jeremy Wade. Seriously, I want to have a beer with the guy. I am betting dollars to doughnuts, behind the proper British-ness, he's a foul mouthed nut with a penchant for partying like a fucking rock star. The weird and creepy things that Jer (I like to picture us as pals, and that I call him Jer...) ends up pulling out of the water fills me with a morbid sense of fascination, as well as sheer terror and an overwhelming desire to scream like a prepubescent girl at a One Direction concert. So, in having watched countless hours of River Monsters with Jeremy Wade, during his many trips to South America, it would seem that the moral is, "Don't EVER fucking go into the fucking water when you're in fucking South FUCKING America, because things in there will fucking kill the FUCK out of you and / or fucking eat the fuck out of you. A LOT." That is all. You're welcome.
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