My mom, Driver level: Asian............

 

Oooooooops!

The short story: My elderly mother hit Puppy Guts' car, while it sat parked in the driveway, and dented it up real good. 

Now, let me give you a more detailed version of the account, people. Trust me. You're gonna love this. It gets good. I promise..... 

So, Guts was sleeping in the bedroom, as he has to work that night. Guts' car was parked in the driveway because, well, it seemed like the right place to park it. There was plenty of room in the driveway leading up to the two car garage and he made sure he left plenty of room for the other car to be able to get out, as he left his car parked behind mine. Well, mom decided that she was going out. She gave Guts' car a quick glance and scoped the amount of driveway space she had to back her car out of the garage. Upon backing said car up out of the aforementioned garage, she promptly Asian-behind-the-wheel-ed right into Puppy Guts' car. Not just a little. A LOT.
She came inside and notified me that she had hit Guts' car. Well, actually, the conversation went a little more like this:
My mom: I hit Rick's car.
Me: Ha, ha.... Funny, ma.
My mom: No. FOR REAL. I hit his car.
Me: Wha? The thing is PARKED in the driveway. It's the size of...... A CAR!!!! How do you not see something the size of a car that's just sitting there? YOU HIT A STATIONARY SOMETHING THE SIZE OF A CAR!!!

So, I ran out the door and there I was standing at the top of the front steps, and the damage is as plain as day..... And there's my mom, standing in the driveway, hunched over, trying to "rub it off" with the sleeve of her shirt, every once in a while stopping to put a little spit on it.........
Me: Ma.... I don't think that's going to work......
My mom: Really? I think it's helping!
Me: No, ma..... Just stop.

The question became, "Do we wake him up?" I mean, on the one side, I was thinking, he just went to sleep an hour ago, and considering he has to work his midnight shift, he needs his sleep. If I wake him and tell him about his beloved car, he probably won't be able to go back to sleep. Not good. Sending in a midnight shift cop into work without having had sufficient sleep. Not good.... But if I DON'T wake him, and he finds out AFTERWARDS, he's going to be all, "Why didn't you wake me??!?!?!" The decision was made. I was going to wake my Puppy Guts up and tell him about his now mangled car..... Did I mention that the front driver's side door was crushed shut and wouldn't open? Yeah...... That too.

Mom says, "Let me go tell daddy first....." and she shuffled upstairs to tell him. A minute later, I hear my dad upstairs, cursing up a blue streak, in a mixture of English and Japanese (ALWAYS amusing to hear the creative uses of bilingual cussing), as he shuffled down the hall, down the stairs and out the front door. And before long, I was watching TWO elderly Asians, standing in the driveway, hunched over, trying to rub the dents, scrapes and damage out of the front end of Guts' car with the sleeves of their shirts, while occasionally using a little bit of spit to help out.....

Me: Um...... That's NOT going to make any of that damage go away!
My dad: Shut up! I think it's working!
My mom (to me): See? I told you!
Me: <face palm> :shaking head: I guarantee the door STILL isn't going to open and the damage is still as bad as it was before......
My dad: But it LOOKS better, so shut up!
Me: Whatever......
(Incidentally, it DIDN'T look better......)

I called my parents' insurance company, explained the deal, and bing, bang, boom: claim number, all the information, "Everything's going to be taken care of for both cars!", thank you very much, bye. Police summoned, incident report, blah, blah, blah, "Here you go, ma'am.... Try to have a nice day!", kthnxbai. Ugh..... It was time to rouse the Puppy Guts.....

Needless to say, when I woke my poor Puppy Guts up a half hour after or so the incident, he wasn't happy, 1.) about being woken up, and 2.) his car being damaged and his driver's side door not opening. He only cried a little bit over his beloved car...... 

Well, the next day, my mom's car and Guts' car went off to their respective body shops to get fixed up nice-y, nice. The rental car companies picked them up .... Guts thought it was unfair that my parents got the Dodge Charger, while he wound up with a four banger Nissan Altima..... But, whatever. 

Thanks for propagating the "Asian behind the wheel" thing, mom! GOOD JOB!
o_O