Ouch....

I love to laugh. It's, like, a hobby of mine. I snort when I laugh and laugh so hard I cry and I hurt for days afterwards sometimes. In having laughed like this, there have been times when I snarfed more than just milk.... Most of these things happen just because it's me. I mean, I once damn near choked on a bug that flew into my throat... Or there was this time I had a bug fly right into my EYE... I once inhaled a gnat by accident.... These incidents caused the people around me to start laughing uncontrollably because it seemed, they found great amusement in my discomfort.... Who am I kidding? If I had witnessed any of those events, I'd have been howling and laughing and rolling around holding my sides too... And if I had a drink or something in my mouth at the time it happened? I would snarf it. Some things snarfed suck worse than others. Trust me. Today, we are going to explore these, shall we?

Listerine: Might I suggest that you NEVER accidentally snarf this substance.... It burns like all get out and you have that "minty fresh feeling" in your nostrils like ALL DAY! Kinda hard not to laugh though when, while you are freshening your breath, you see out the corner of your eye, the dog trying to get a drink from the toilet and he slips and falls in, scares himself stupid and goes running away howling, leaving a pee trail all along the way.

ANY kind of hot sauce on anything: Another REALLY unpleasant thing to snarf. Solid chunks of food snarfed is not pleasant. Couple with that a hot sauce? Brutal. But when, on taco night, you have someone at the table who plays you a whole concertina with bodily noises: buuurp-fart faaaaaaart-burp burp buuurp- fart faaaaaart burp faaaaart... and ends with something that sounded a little squishy at the end there as the composer goes running off to the bathroom, you might not be able to hold back.

ANY kind of carbonated beverage: It makes you feel like your head is going to explode from all the bubbles. It's a party time kind of drink and seriously, who hasn't witnessed something really stupid or whatever and hasn't snarfed soda?

Doritos: Those sharp corners hurt, especial when you weren't quite done chewing the chip yet.....

Noodles: It's like party streamers blowing in the wind when it happens. 'Nuff said. I don't want to talk about it.

Hot beverages: Not only do you get that unpleasant sensation of the post snarf, but it kind of feels like you burned out your nose hairs....

It's not that snarfing is EVER a pleasant sensation (it really isn't...) and quite honestly? I have accidentally snarfed my fair share of things from laughing too hard when I had something in my mouth, but there certainly IS a scale to rate the unpleasantness of things snarfed... How weird does the word "snarf" sound to you right now?