Elderly and used, but still lively, crotchety, cranky, bitchy and will probably live forever. They can go separately or as a pair. I don't really care. Care and maintenance should be minimal as they really only complain about everything, but the reality is that nothing is wrong. They are completely insured and have the AARP something or another and Medicare and a prescription program of sorts. (Might I suggest PROZAC...) They are still quite independent and shuffle around on their own steam and are always very willing to insult, yell, scream, debase, humiliate and cause permanent psychological damage to each other and everyone around them.
I'd also be willing to throw in a sister, but you'll just have to take my word for it that you got her in the deal as she will never call or write or contact you UNLESS she needs something from you. Don't expect the favor to be returned.
Pick up or delivery. Duct tape available on request!
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