Allergy season 2013

Allergy season started early and under weird circumstances this year. And to top it off, it's pretty severe. I mean, we didn't have too much of a "winter" this year. Yeah we got some snow and we got that one REALLY good blizzard that dumped a few feet of snow with 24 hours or whatever, but it really didn't stay consistently cold enough to really kill anything off enough. (Don't even get me started on the EXPLOSION in the bug population! My car windshield is basically an overcrowded bug cemetery...) The pollen and whatever has been brutal and is not showing any mercy. The allergy sneeze attacks come out of nowhere, without any warning, and once they get going, they don't stop. I'm a runny nosed snot monster. Yes. Attractive, right?

My kids have seasonal allergy issues as well, and I see it on their little faces. The red watery eyes, the "I blew my nose too often" redness on their noses, the constant sniffling and snuffling and the sneeze attacks. And then HURRAY! Sneezing contest! BLAH!

I'm hoping that it won't last too much longer and that SOMETHING will happen to calm it the fuck down. Great..... here we go again with the .........ACHOOACHOOACHOOACHOOACHOO........ :snerk: ew.Snot.

Naps....

I know that I fought naps tooth and nail when I was little. I would rather cry about being tired than just put my little peanut head down and take a nap. There are days now, when I regret that I ever denied myself a nap EVER and wish I would have been able to saved those "nap minutes" in a jar or something so that I could use them to take a nap or two now.

And even if I do get a rare opportunity to take a nap, it's never restful. I mean, I end up waking up, bolt upright, not knowing what day it was and freaking out because I'd be thinking that there was something that I needed to be doing. Or I wouldn't be able to fall asleep really and I will wake up every five minutes because I feel like I'm forgetting something or that I slept way longer than I should have, until I give up on the whole nap thing. :s

That's why coffee, because coffe. Thank you coffee.

Lumosity.com

So, yeah..... I started with the lumosity.com thing, just to see what it was about and their science talk about how the brain works and addictive little games to play to boost your brain things or whatever. I thought maybe perhaps, it could help me to become a super genius so that I can start making my plans of taking over the world and become the ruler of everything come to fruition. Turns out, I'm just really good at the stupid games and after only the trial period, I was better than 99.8% of the other people in my age group. After fiddling with the age group thing, I put myself into a younger age group and found that the way they measured stuff was a bit stricter, but it turns out I'm still 99.6% better than the people in the younger age group.

What it boils down to is, whether these games are really helping me to boost my brain functions or not, the games are fun to get sucked into. It's kind of frightening to think that despite the large number of people on Lumosity, I'm in the highest percentile. I guess I'm just REALLY good at games. Better than I thought. :s

ALL.THE.TIME.

Imagine being someone who has ADD and OCD. That's right. You can't. It's like having a gojillion browsers with gojillions more tabs open in each one. Does it ever stop? No. There are just degrees in which I can block out the noises and how much of it I can block out. It's always on. Constant random thoughts, ideas, notions, words, pictures, ALL.THE.TIME. And maybe it's because I'm used to it, but it's just fine by me. I think I NEED it. I don't think that I'd be okay if my mind ever went quiet. I think THAT would drive me insane. Total silence? Eeek!

There really is no solid way to explain my brain's goings on. I have fielded SO many questions about my ADD/OCD and yet I really can't come up with a solid answer. I mean, the ones who are doing the asking are those who don't have it. Your basic garden variety, cookie cutter, boring person. It's impossible to explain to them. It's like trying to explain to a person who had been blind since birth, what the color blue is. Seriously. And the questions and comments that I get pretty much border line on offensive.

Isn't it troublesome? Isn't it terrible? How do you function? How do you live your life? Can you control it? I feel so bad for you! It must be such a tough existence! I'm so sorry....... There are medicines now that will FIX you. "Fix" me?

I just laugh at those kind of people now a days. I feel bad for THEM. Seriously! It must be troublesome and terrible for them. I wonder how they function and live their lives. Unfortunately for them, there are no medications to make them awesome like me. Probably a good thing. People like that couldn't handle my awesome.

Memorial Day 2013

Today is the day that we, as Americans, take the time (or SHOULD take the time) to honor those in our military who have fought and lost their lives in order to protect our freedoms and liberties as Americans. It is a day that we as Americans should give respect to those who protected our borders, our streets, our neighborhoods, our families, our way of life, our communities, our everything and gave all to do it. Regardless of which "side"  of war you stand on, there is no doubt that you are allowed you freedoms and are able to openly express your opinions because of brave men and women who gave their everything to protect them. And if you STILL can't understand that, then please, feel free to go. PLEASE allow the door to hit you in the ass as you do as you go to wherever it is that you sympathize with. I'm sure they will be more than happy to hear everything that you have to say as you voice your opinions openly.

To our service men and women, we thank you for your service. And to those who gave all, thank you for your service as you continue to watch over us in heaven.

STOP IT!

I love dogs. I really do. I like animals more than I like people. True story! But I have these neighbors whose dogs bark ALL THE FUCKING TIME. All hours of the day and night. BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK.

And just when you think they have quieted down, BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK.

Think that's annoying to have to scroll through? Try listening to it ALL.THE.TIME......

Oblivion......

I often wonder whether or not it hurts to die. No! I don't mean a "taking my own life" and shit or dying in some blaze of glory. I am talking about an individual, faced with his or her own mortality, at their "end". The conclusion that their life has come to an end. That single moment where they realize, "This is IT....."

I realize that "the end" is inevitable for all of us. Timely, untimely.... Regardless of the fact. Our days our numbered. We just don't know EXACTLY when that day is going to be. There is no doubt, there is an "expiration date" on all of us. It's a grim conclusion, but there it is. An inevitable truth that no one can escape.

I mean, those who "go"may go peacefully or not, but what of the chaos left behind for their loved ones and friends. How are they able to make "sense" of the loss that they have to experience when the "dearly departed" are gone? The dearly departed may have gotten oblivion, but those left surviving have to grieve and deal with the aftermath. I get that there is a certain sense of woe when experiencing a loss and it hurts and it sucks and there is a certain camaraderie among the friends and family of those lost, who come together and remember the person in life.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have seen people gather at these "memorials" or whatever and bemoan THEIR miseries and how the loss affects THEIR lives. Do they ever stop to consider the "dearly departed"? It's not that I would ever diminish the feeling of someone who had experienced loss.  And maybe it's really IS just me. I often find myself wondering , "Did it hurt?" "Did you suffer?" "Were you scared?" "When you 'went', was it..... bad?" It kind of freaks me out. It also freaks me out when they have these open casket things and people line up to look at the empty and hollow husk of what used to be the person they once knew. Isn't it sort of like pouring lemon juice onto an open wound?

I often wonder because I have lost so many who were close to me. I would like to think that in their ends, they felt no pain, no grief, no fear..... That they were at peace. Not that hippy dippy bullshit type of peace, but true ACTUAL peace where all the conflicts in their lives are resolved and everything has been "laid to rest" so to speak. And whatever that was "left behind" just ceases to matter and what they are left with is an oblivion that only death can bring. It's no secret that I am probably not the most religious person on the planet. Spiritual? Maybe. I have my own theories, but that's about it. Life after death? Heaven or hell? Reincarnation? Eh. What can I say. I'm a tad skeptical. Sure. I would like to believe that there is some magical place full of sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and all things happy and wonderful and candy coated for those I love who are gone. I'd also like to think that there is the anti-verse to that place for those whom I think deserve to be there, but only after a long, drawn out and painful death. But the skeptic in me says, when we go, we go. Poof. That's it, bye bye. Sorry to disappoint. But there it is.

Death is a fickle thing. We don't exactly know when it's going to come, but it certainly is inevitable. We're ALL going to die eventually. PERIOD. It's HAPPENING. It's happening right now. all of our "clocks" are ticking down right now to the end. So, what now? We can either all wait and hope for the best as we are forced to meet our ends or we can actually go about the days we have left and DO. Instead of waiting for life to begin, just go out and live it. The biggest regrets are the things we didn't do in life. <ENTER MORE CLICHES ABOUT GOING OUT AND LIVING LIFE HERE> <I SWEAR ON ALL THINGS HOLY, IF ONE OF YOU SAYS "YOLO", SOMEWHERE A BABY PANDA WILL DIE A HORRENDOUS DEATH>

My brain is a jerk....

I am pretty much THOROUGHLY convinced that there is some jerk living in my head. Either that or my brain is just an asshole. I don't know. Something. Let me try to explain:

You see, most people have that little voice inside their heads that tells them things like, "Hey! Don't forget the keys!" or "Watch out for that puddle!"  or "Whoa! Don't do that! That probably isn't a good idea!" You know? Stuff like that. Helpful and nice. Not me. Not mine. My every day, I have some jerk saying things like, "It's dark and quiet and we're all alone.... Hey, let's think about monsters and ghosts!" or "Oops! You failed again! HA HA!!!! That's so typical!" or "Hey! Let's obsess about stupid trivial shit all night!" or "You feel sick? It's cancer. You're probably going to die. Probably any day now!"

And then, there are the insomnia nights. That's when he (I have equated the "voice in my head" as male, because he sounds like a very big, black, gay man, so....) REALLY starts in on me. It sometimes goes a little something like this:

Brain: We're hungry and we need a sandwich....
Me: No, we don't. It's, like, two in the morning. We NEED to go to sleep.
Brain: Come on! Just a quick sandwich.
Me: NO!
Brain: Well, can we think about math?
Me: NO!
Brain: Can we think about every embarrassing moment we've ever had and relive every moment over and over again?
Me: NO! FUCK NO!
Brain: Can we think about possible disaster scenarios that we might not escape from and wouldn't survive?
Me: SHUT UP!!!!! NO!!!!
Brain: Can we think about every single one of our failures in our life and obsess on them?
Me: OH MY GOD! SHUT UP!!!!!
Brain: Hey? What was that noise? It sounded like it came from outside! Maybe it's terrorists trying to break in and kill us all!
Me: Oh my god, WHY??!?!?
Brain: .......Can we go make a sandwich now?
Me: FINE! If we do, will you shut up?
Brain: Pfft! Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure! SANDWICH! GO!
Me: <skeptically> ....... Okay.


<Get to kitchen>
Brain: Surprise! There's no bread. You forgot to get bread at the store today.
Me: Shit!
Brain: There are crescents in the freezer...
Me: .....fine.
Brain: Defrost it in the toaster.
Me: I'll just nuke it. It'll be faster.
Brain: But it won't taste right.
Me: I just want to go to bed!
Brain: Toast it! TOAST IT! TOAST IT!!! TOAST IT!!!!!! TOAST IT!!!!!! TOAST IT!!!!!!!! TOAST IT!!!!!!!! TOAST IT!!!!!!!
Me: FINE! FINE!!!!!!! Can we move this along? FUCK!
Brain: Let's make BACON!
Me: It is TWO O'CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING!!!!! CAN WE JUST SLAP SOME HAM  AND CHEESE INTO THE CRESCENT AND GO TO BED??!?!?!?!?!?!
Brain: Baaaaaacon....... BAAAAAAAACOOOOOOOOON! BAAAAAAAAAACOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!


<me, cooking bacon at 2 am...>


Brain: Get all that bacon on there! YES! Now, we want lettuce, tomatoes MAKE SURE YOU SLICE THEM REAL THIN, and lets throw some brie cheese on there too.
Me: I can't eat all this stuff before bed! I'm going to give myself indigestion!
Brain: Do it. DO IT! DO IT!!! DO IT!!!!! DO IT!!!! DO IT!!!!!! DO IT!!!! DO IT!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Oh my god, FINE!
Brain: This is gonna be good. I can tell. Ooh! Can we also make some....
Me: NO! Just fucking NO!!!!! Shut UP!!!!!!
Brain: I was only...
Me: NO!
Brain: But....
Me: NO!!!!
Brain: You'll regret this......
Me: Fuck....


<2:45 AM, I go upstairs to my room with the sandwich to eat it>


<While eating sandwich>
Brain: It's good, right?
Me: .....uh-huh.....
Brain: With the brie cheese?
Me: .......uh-huh...... uh-oh........
Brain: Hey..... remember how we used to feed the brie cheese fungus to Otis?
Me: STOP IT!
Brain: He LOVED brie cheese fungus didn't he?
Me: STOP!
Brain: Remember his face?
Me: Dear god, please fucking make this stop.
Brain: Remember when we had to put him down?
Me: Fuck you brain! I really hate you right now....
Brain: Remember all the things you said to him?
Me: Fuck my life.... WHY DO YOU DO THIS??!?!?!?
Brain: We really miss him, don't we?
Me: :openly weeping, snot dribbling, hugging tissue box, looking like a hot mess:


<20 minutes of sobbing later>
Brain: Naw! Just kidding. C'mon. Let's go to sleep! It's passed three in the morning.
Me:  :sniffle: Do you mean it? :sniffle, sniffle: Really?
Brain: Yeah. Come on.....


<Get into bed, get comfy>


<10 minutes later, about to drift asleep>
Brain: Just kidding! Flabammo! INDIGESTION! AND we have to pee! You're welcome!
Me: FUCK! I really don't feel good!
Brain: Yup. Definitely cancer. You're going to die.
Me: Are we NOT getting any sleep tonight?
Brain: Nope! Let's bang our head into the wall and see if we pass out instead. You know, again!
Me: .........

<thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud,thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud..........>

More adventures at the grocery store....

For those of you who have the pleasure (?) of knowing me on Facebook, you have probably already heard this story. I would like to recant it here again today, just to show the rest of you guys just how fucked up my life can be and how the "random occurrences" in my life are really just some cosmic or karmic punishment for having been an idiot in a past life or something.

Now, I'm not REALLY sure why I attract these kind of people or what it is about me that these kind of people tend to gravitate towards me...... And it usually happens at the grocery store..... 

So, there I was, doing my grocery shopping, minding my own business, bopping around to some Spice Girls (? Could have been Sheryl Crow....... Honestly, I don't know.) tune playing on the loudspeaker thingy, because, well, that's what I do. Well, some lady made it her life's mission to stop and "talk" to me. 

Some Random Lady (SRL): My! Aren't YOU obnoxiously weird!

I smiled. 

SRL: Are you ALWAYS like this? :gasps: OH MY GOD! I am SOOOOOO sorry! Are you "special"? :finger quotation marks:

My smile faded quickly. (Seriously? I HATE people.)

Me: Lady? Right now, I'm, just fucking annoyed. I'm not quite sure what self deluded, completely imagined superiority you think you have to get ALL up in my business, judge me, then start raining down your shit storm on my sunshine parade, but might I suggest, from now on, you keep your gaping maw SHUT, because you are NO ONE to be judging ANYONE, you rude, arrogant, pompous, ignorant, malicious BITCH! Go slithering back to whatever ring of hell you came from!

SRL: Excuse...... EXCUSE ME??!??

Me: You are excused. Scurry along now. Bye! 

SRL: That doesn't even make sense!

Me: You asked to be excused. I excused you. Now, scurry, scurry! Bye!

:Random Guy snickers: 

SRL: Do you even KNOW English?

Me: Apparently, I have a better grasp and understanding of the language than you do.

Random Guy: BURN! :points and laughs at SRL:

SRL: Wow! I'm SUBJUGATED by idiots!

Me: Are you serious right now? Because this is WAY too easy...... 

SRL: Yeah! Subjugated. It means "surrounded". SUB-JOO-GAY-TED.

Me (in my BEST Inigo Montoya): You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means....

Random Guy: Uh..... "Subjugate" means "conquer"..... And, yes, you were.... By "idiots" :finger quotation marks: :winks at SRL:

:SRL, left confused: :random high five with Random Guy: 

WINNING!

Note to self: Find a different grocery store to go to.....

Response to self: But we know where everything is at OUR grocery store! Besides, we're WAY to lazy to learn a different system at a new grocery store!

Response to the response to note of self: FUCK YOU! ...... Yeah. It's true.
Response to the response to the response of note to self: We need to suck it up and deal. This is our life....... 

FUCK!

Morning blahs

I am not a morning person.

Teddies.....

I know that when I was growing up, I had my "comfort woobie". It wasn't a bear or a blanket, but my stinky pillow. I loved that thing. It went everywhere with me. It made the dark nights less dark. It made the scary places less scary. Even though it was all imagined, it helped allay some of my fears.

My children each have their own little comforts too. Stuffies, as we like to call them. Even at 15 years old, my eldest still has his Bumbah. A ratty stuffed rabbit, with long floppy ears, wearing the blue sweater I knitted "just for Bumbah". It used to be white when it was new, but it has now taken on a rather grayish hue. And it is the fifth of sixth incarnation as I DID have to replace Bumbah a couple of times. (Same stuffie, just newer. )

He's never been a day without Bumbah and it's rather endearing that my son still keeps his ratty old friends around. I can't imagine all of the secrets, fears, rants, raves and conversations that my son has probably had with Bumbah over the years. The countless games they've played. The unfathomable number of "adventures" that they've been on.

Yes, as my children grow and they begin not to need their once cherished lovies any more, I will take them and put them in a special place, reserved just for them, for they will always have a special place permanently in my heart for all the unwaivering love and care they gave to my children.

Monday, AGAIN??!?!?!?!?

Yup. This just about sums it up right here. I mean, it's not like Monday doesn't roll around like it always does right after Sunday and stuff and it's not as if it's like this HUGE surprise when the alarm starts screaming at me on Monday morning, yelling at me to haul my carcass out of the bed, but it still sucks. Friday rolls around and it's like, "YAY!" then, before you know it, FLABAMMO! Monday. I have no idea where Saturday and Sunday go. I swear sometimes I think that Saturday and Sunday are really just a figment of my imagination or something that we are forced to believe exists like god or Santa Claus, but don't actually do.

The weekends always seem to go by too quickly. BAH!!!!!! This sucks.

Shut up and eat!

When I make dinner for my children, I make what I have in mind and that's pretty much about it. If the kids want dessert, they are DAMN WELL going to eat their freaking veggies and HELL NO, I am not going to make something else for them to eat because they may or may not like what I put down in front of them. No separate meals and stuff. This is what's for supper. Shut up and eat it.

Ugh..... BLAAAAAAAAAH.......

I am thoroughly convinced that who or whatever "created" humans was either an idiot or just a mean spirited sadistic piece of shit with a twisted sense of humor. Seriously.  As "perfect" a creation we are, seriously?

PMS has got to be one of the weirdest things EVER! And the whole period thing too. I mean, it would help if we could be more aware AND have more control of our EVERYTHING during these hormonal influxes and whatnot, but no. That would make things easy, wouldn't it.

Having never had a penis or testicles, I wouldn't know what it was like to be a guy and have guy hormones doing their thing, but honestly? Can it actually compare to "that time of the month"? I'm NOT making this about the sexual divide thing and the male vs. female thing, but honestly, can you actually COMPARE them? No I mean REALLY compare them.

There isn't really a person on the planet that can actually tell you what it's like from both side. Even the "transgendered" who take the hormones and junk. They are still lacking the actual "key parts" to make them "what they are", so to speak.

I mean, I can describe what I'm going through to dearest Puppy Guts when I'm having a particularly "bad month". I know he can't sympathize with me, but he certainly can empathize. The primitive male mind can comprehend that, "Woman haz monthly discomfort. Must to get ice creams and ibuprofen."

Yeah, you're right. I don't know what it's like to get kicked or grazed in the nutsack or get the penis stuck in a zipper or really ACTUALLY FEEL the flinch when seeing a picture of some genital trauma caused by a belt sander on the interwebs, but please. Guys, until you've actually pushed an 8 lbs human from your hoo hah, don't try and tell me that it's the worst pain ANY normal person can experience. Although I hear a gunshot wound is close......

WANT!

Because BABY PANDA BED SPRINKLES. SQUEEEEEEEE! That is all. Thank you.

Crazy/ Special......

Does being different necessarily have to automatically be considered crazy or special? I mean, there are those people who really ARE different and they pretty much ARE crazy and / or special, but that's not what I'm talking about today. I am talking about "different" like, doesn't follow a trend or can think as an individual or isn't doing something to be hip or cool. It seems almost childish to me, really. I get that when you're a kid, it's hard not to bend to peer pressure when trends, but aren't you supposed to grow out of that common playground type shit when you grow up? I thought you were supposed to.

Sex isn't all there is.....

I'm pretty sure there are more women than not who believe that guys' locker room conversations are only about sex, boobies and ass. I mean, yeah, sometimes, but not all the time. Having hung out more with male groups than female groups, simply because I CANNOT handle the drama nor the dynamics of a female group, I've witnessed, FIRST HAND, the all male conversations. And it's not really all sex. There are other subjects like cars and food and sports and cars and what they saw on television and cars and  their wives/girlfriends (well, the ones who weren't absolute bitches), did I mention cars? Well, at least with the guys I hung out with. I mean don't get me wrong, sex, ass and boobies became topics of conversation sometimes but meh...

Don't get me wrong. Men are pigs. But women really aren't that much better. Don't let the prissy girlie mewling and mock offense fool you. Bitches be CRAY-ZEE. And just like females, guys do actually have conversations with each other that don't necessarily have EVERYTHING to do with sex. And girls are not always all, "Tampons! Dressy, dressy, shoes bag, skirt! SQUEE! Hair gel mascara diet, does my butt look fat in these? Mall shopping manicure jewelry." either. Raunchier conversations and thoughts about sex and asses and penises and stuff do happen no matter HOW MUCH some women try to deny it. Just tryin' to help you guys out.

Hun......gry.....

I forget to eat sometimes. I don't know. For whatever reason, I forget. I also have a hyperactive metabolism. Don't call me a skinny little bitch until you've walked a day in my shoes, people. Calm your tits. It's not as super spectacular as it sounds.

I have to take in quite a bit of calories in any given day because my body doesn't store it well. And my blood sugar drops aren't gradual. They are SUDDEN. Like, one second I'm okay, and the next, I'm sweating and can't see straight. Not pleasant at all. I've always got candy bars and granola things and beef jerky and stuff on hand incase I do have one of my good drops. NOT fun, I can assure you. And I can't even begin to tell you how yucky it is to eat a half melted candy bar from a questionable number of years before, that's been sitting in a car that's been parked outside on a hot summer day and licking the foil that the candy bar came in for that tiny bit of a sugar rush in order to normal out.

I'm constantly snacking on stuff when I remember, just to take in the calories I need and it is pretty much a constant battle to maintain what I've got going on. My every day is affected by this constant battle too. My moods, my well being, the way a day can go from good to bad, head aches, tiredness. It's pretty much awesome when I have the bad days, which thankfully, don't happen often. I mean, I would REALLY have to be completely off schedule and my world flipped upside down in order for seriously bad days to occur. Mostly I just get head aches and I'm grumpy, which is just par for the course, so yay! Grumpy and has headache. This how they know me!

One way ticket....

Yeah.... I know I am not a saint. I probably have a reserved, one way ticket to hell for some of the dastardly deeds I have committed. There are people who believe me to be the anti-christ and believe that I will in fact be going to hell for whatever or every reason. But then I get reminded by others still, that there are things that I have done that may give both heaven and hell pause over who is going to have to take me. Seriously?

I don't necessarily think that any of my "good deeds" really qualifies as a "good deed" per se. I mean, there is pretty much a whole shit ton of bad karma that I have to make up for and I think that my moments of "goodness" are really only canceling them out a little at a time. I don't know that I can live long enough to "undo" the bad with the good.

But how do we measure "good" and "bad"? How do we judge our actions as being "good" or "bad"? What might be "good" to some may not work out to be so for others. TOTALLY depending on the intent, mind you. I mean, obviously, if the intent was malicious and mean, does the deed still count as "good"? What if the intent was "good" but simply because it really only served yourself as some sort of "self justice" and it hurt than your intended target? And to what degrees would "bad" really be considered "bad" then?

I'm a rotten person, but it's not like I killed people and molested baby pandas and kicked puppies. I'm "rotten" for a whole different set of reasons like laughing at inappropriate moments, pointing out other people's stupidity and not being very kind or polite about it, I lack patience when it comes to certain things and I will voice my disdain and displeasure. I make fun of people that I believe deserve to be made fun of. I mean, not exactly material for my being nominated for the "Nicest Person in the WORLD" award, ya know? But is that enough to put me into the same category as some of the other types of "bad people"? You know, rapists, murderers, animals abusers, child molesters, politicians?

Depending on who you talk to, it's all different. Some will say that it is very cut and dry, black and white. Bad is bad. Good is good. Done. That's it. Others will argue that there is no such thing a absolutes when it comes to these matters. There are only different shades, hues and tones of gray. Doesn't help a person trying to figure out their life, does it? I mean, how does one "turn their life around" if there really aren't parameters? Who gets to define those parameters?

Think about it: Okay, so I will continue NOT being a murderer, rapist, animal abuser, child molester or a politician. I will continue to stay in the lighter shades of gray therefor, I am a good person.

Does that really make sense? I mean, what defines what a "good person" is? It can't be just about NOT doing the things you shouldn't. Not doing what is CLEARLY wrong should go without saying. So what else SHOULD it entail? Where do we draw a line where selfish ends selfless begins? My opinion? Well, I mean, one should be able to go about living their life without making all sorts of sacrifices, especially for others who wouldn't give a shit that you were making them. On the other side of that, one should also not expect for others to have to make sacrifices in their owns lives, in order to support theirs.

Okay, so you've got your immediate down. Then what? At what point to you cross that line into "good deed"? Give to charity. Pick something up for someone when you see them drop it. Work a soup kitchen. Donate stuff. Pick up strays that you see on the roads. Cheer up a crying child. Volunteer your time. I mean, these kind of things are a given. These are things that you as a human being SHOULD be doing. No special points for doing that kind of shit. Right?

So what's left? There's the rub. Short of something REALLY and TRULY spectacular, like going under the knife and giving an organ to a perfect stranger or seriously risking your own ass, in a dangerous situation to help or save or whatever, another living being or just some other unimaginable circumstance that places you, an ordinary someone, in an extraordinary situation and instead of opting to run away to save yourself, you take action, I'm just not feeling it. Why? Well, because as creatures who are supposedly able to have higher cognitive functions that are capable of higher reasoning and shit, we sure do act like a bunch of heartless monsters. And all these things that we accredit ourselves for as being "good deeds" are really things we ought to be doing anyway. So, do they really count as "good deeds" or what is expected of you as a human being. And then, inversely, wouldn't it be that NOT doing these things make you a doer of misdeeds?

People as a species are selfish, petty, cruel, malicious and absolutely hateful. Obviously, there's a scale, and there are varying degrees and different flavors, but there you have it. Most want to be congratulated and praised for their mediocrity. They want to be celebrated for being "meh", average, mediocre. They feel the need to be hailed a hero, to feed their little egos and help them feel as if they stand out a little bit. Am I guiltless? No. Admittedly not. I'm as shitty as the next guy. The difference between me and that next guy though? At least I've recognized it and I will admit to it openly.

So now the questions becomes, "Well, what the fuck am I willing to do about it?"

Ahhh..... Now comes the hard part. I'm still trying to figure that out.

Stand out!

I try to get my kids to think for themselves. Instead of following the trends, I'd much rather them start their own trends. I mean, not going out of their way to stand out that they end up miserable, picked on, ostracized and outcast and bullied, but I don't think there is anything wrong with being an individual instead of a sheep.

It's not always easy veering away from the pack. I get that. My kids are of all different ages, but their peers and what they think of them means a lot to them. I get that too. It's kind of nice to know that I have sent them off into the world with a little edge on individuality though. I mean think about it. I'm not exactly your "average, run of the mill" type people. My kids have grown up knowing that "different is good" and that "mommy isn't like the other kids' mommies". But I also understand that peer/ group mentalities start to weigh heavier during the "formidable years" of a child's life and fitting in becomes more important than not. :sigh: so, just like everyone else, they have the same kind of clothes, the same kind of stuff, they do the same kind of things, talk in the same lingo, throw around the same attitude...... Blah.... It's pretty sad to see. Everyone is an expert about everything, they know better, they're right and fuck all to anyone else who doesn't agree. Yay.

Sometimes, I do get the satisfaction of seeing that, once in a while, my kids are the ones doing "something different", but it's just not often enough in my opinion. I need to work on that. I think I'd be failing them if I didn't try and push just a little bit harder with trying to make them self thinking individuals and basically ALLOWING them to become "one of the herd". NOT an easy task, I assure you.

Bugs.....

It is no secret that my Puppy Guts does not like bugs. Spiders in particular. Anything with more eyes than him or more legs than the dog. Forget it. It is a creation of the devil himself and therefor, must be destroyed. He's never nice about it either. He doesn't just squish it. He LIQUIFIES it. And a good portion of the time, he will leave the bug stain right where it is, "to serve as a warning to all of his other bug friends".

But then, there are times when he misses, and the bug's buggy senses start to tingle and it turns to face Puppy Guts. Stare down of EPIC proportions..... Then it flies towards him. Puppy Guts' screams are pretty deafening. Some of it is pretty nonsensical, but the word you CAN make out usually sounds a lot like: KILLITKILLITKILLIT!KILLITWITHFIRE!BURNDOWNTHEHOUSE!THAT'SIT!PACKUP!!!WEAREMOVING!KILLITKILLITKILLIT!KILLITALOT!

It is usually followed up with tears and curling up in a fetal position and thumb sucking and takes about a solid half hour (after I vanquish said "spawn of satan") of reassurance that the bad bug won't be able to touch him.

This process is MUCH WORSE when it's a spider.

Laugh for no reason....

I love getting to a point in the day when I get so tired that everything is funny. I see it happen to my kids, I've seen it happen to my dearest Puppy Guts and I feel it when it happens to me. One cannot help it. And when the giggles start, they really don't stop.

I once started laughing for no apparent reason. I was pretty tired. The kind of "tired" that was fueled by a fourth day of insomnia, copious amounts of caffeine and non stop stuff happening. I was reaching my breaking point. I felt it too. I found that the sight of myself brushing my teeth in the mirror was BAR NONE the funniest thing I had ever seen. I had that deep down from the bottoms of my feet, rolling on the floor of the bathroom, couldn't control it if I tried kind of laughing fits. It must have lasted a good 30 minutes before I was able to regain enough composure to haul my ass into the bedroom, only to continue laughing like an idiot for another 25 minutes or so. I'm not quite sure what happened. Perhaps when I got to the point when I was laughing so hard, I couldn't breath and there simply wasn't enough oxygen getting to my brain, I don't know. But I DO know, I woke up sore but refreshed and on the bedroom floor with a toothpaste ring around my mouth. Awesome. Happens to everyone, right?

Nope. Not doing anything.

I don't necessarily like having these kinds of days, but they happen. You know. The days when you look at the clock and it's only 9:30 in the morning, and you've already decided that you are no longer going to be productive and you won't be doing anything else. Yeah. I can FEEL it. Ot's happening. The productivity levels are plummeting and no amount of caffeine is going to resuscitate this day. Flat line. Done. I'm calling it. 5:47AM.

Dreams

My imagination and the strange goings on in my mind don't just end when my wakefulness ends. They spew forth it's "rich and colorful" -ness and continue going on in my sleeping hours too. I have "regular" dreams, like the one where the bunny talks me into some weird adventure that leads to us questing for the golden magical potato. Everyone has THAT dream, right?  Or the one about the flying giraffe that asks you to aid it in saving the world from dangerous mutant Pokemon? Right? TOTALLY normal, every day whatever. Pretty cut and paste shit right there. But then I get really weird ones that make me wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.

I try to relay my dreams to other people and I get strange looks as those people start to back slowly away from me. If there were a way to record some of these dreams so that they could get played back later, I'd be able to SHOW people instead of trying to explain it to them. Something, ya know? But then I kind of thought about it and I started to freak out about the possibilities of what would happen if a device like that really WAS invented. I mean, can you imagine the kind of shit other people would be able to see/ hear/ experience through your eyes? I mean, it's probably a good thing we don't all walk around and have thought bubbles pop up when something pops into our heads. We have "inside voices" for a pretty good fucking reason. I, for one know, that if people got a peek inside MY head, they'd pretty much be scarred for life and would end up needing permanent institutionalization at a psychiatric facility, constantly being fed psychotropic drugs and copious amounts of sedatives, because he or she would be reduced to a screaming heap of paranoid lunatic. It's on the INSIDE for a reason. That's why they're called "INSIDE". Got it.

Coffee!

The average American drinks about 2-5 cups of this stuff a day. I probably consume a lot more than I should, which probably explains why I am the way I am..... Wait. It wouldn't explain my childhood, pre-the discovery of coffee.... Whatever.

I mean, is there anything better first thing in the morning than that first scalding sip of black delicious liquid yumminess, with all of its promises of caffeinated goodness? I don't think so. We should all be thankful for whoever discovered that roasting coffee beans and then grinding them up and putting them into boiling water in order to create some miraculous infusion of hot energizing awesome. Seriously. Coffee, because coffee, coffee coffee coffee, coffee. Coffee.

Word of advice to those who are sick......

This allergy season has hit pretty hard. I mean it's been AWFUL. I don't think I have ever had  a worse year! It's wretched!

On a particularly crummy allergy day, suffering from congestion, runny nose, headache from all the congestion in my head, cough and sore throat from all the dry air in the house and an overall feeling of yuckiness, I made the mistake of watching a marathon of House MD while looking up home remedies for stuffiness, which eventually led me to webmd.com. HUGE mistake. And it happens EVERY TIME! I get sucked in. I mean, I KNEW what my problem was. I already KNEW what was ailing me. I made it worse and I filled my head with paranoid ideas by subjecting myself to House episodes and webmd.com. I don't know why I did it and I regretted it the second I started feeling all the same symptoms for amyloidosis or some rare blood disorder caused by the bite of some strange insect found only in some remote town on some tiny island in the Pacific. What? It could happen.

Well, let's just say THIS always happens:
I feel sick+House episodes+webmd.com= I have sarcoidosis and lupus, with a side of testicular displacement, prostate enlargement, a testosterone deficiency and possible seasonal allergies, unless my symptoms are accompanied by high fever, in which case, more than likely, I will probably have a seizure at any moment and become jaundiced, shit out my intestines and lose my sight because it's some rare viral infection that no one has ever heard of. They will name the disease after me. For dessert, my dearest Puppy Guts will be pregnant with twins and he may also be suffering from ovarian cysts with a case of chronic diarrhea with a whistle.

Yup. Good ol' House marathons and webmd.com! Don't do it.

BWA HA HA HA!

I LOVE to laugh. No doubt. Sure I have a weird sense of humor. I find hilarity in some of the strangest things and I might bust out laughing at the weirdest times. Some of those times would be considered "inappropriate", but still. I think there is something to be said for laughter being the best medicine, except for when it's diarrhea. Then, not so much.

My one weakness is probably offensive or inappropriate humor. Most anyone who has ever met me knows this about me. I WILL laugh. It's not that I mean to offend people by laughing at off colored humor and stuff, but my need to laugh is greater than worrying about whether or not I'm going to offend someone with my sense of humor, what can I say?

I swear, if I started holding in the laughter for even just a day, I wouldn't be the same person any more. By the end of the day, I would probably be an absolute wreck. An angry, screaming, cranky, miserable, scary, maniacal wreck. I have no doubt about that. There have been scientific studies done about the power of laughter and I really believe in the results that they got. Laughter relives stress, and an overall feeling of wellness happens with a good laugh, except when you have diarrhea. I used to have people making excuses for me and apologizing for my "rudeness" because I would laugh at what they felt to be "inappropriate moments". In looking back, I have NO IDEA how they hell I ended up becoming associated with them or why I stayed in those relationships for as long as I did. :shrug: lesson learned I guess. Now, I'm just gonna keep on going and doing what I do.

YEESH! Oops....

ANYTHING can sound sexual if you say it a certain way. What makes this kind of thing funny is when it is completely unintentional and the person who said it realizes what they said AFTERWARDS. Especially when the people around them are snickering and giggling. I especially love it when it comes out of a person who is uptight and rigid. Call me mean, but I'll make mountains out of molehills when it comes to shit like this.

I mean, COME ON! There are just certain words even in the most benign contexts, that SCREAM "dir-tay"regardless of how they're used, especially when you point them out and use your Dirty McNasty voice. Words like: tip, lick, rod, staff, hole, jerk, tickle, fondle, touch, jiggle, come, head, touch.... Hell, there are HUNDREDS! I'm serious! I mean SERIOUSLY! Even when these words are used innocently, I still have a tendency to snicker and giggle. Well, that's mostly because I have the maturity level of a 12 year old. Oh well.

I have.....

Most of us are pretty much in the same boat. I HAVE concerns about the future. I HAVE bills to pay. I HAVE to go to the bathroom. I HAVE no money. I HAVE things to do, but I don't want to do them. I HAVE to go to work. I HAVE debts to pay off.

A whole lot of "HAVEs" and most of them aren't really all that awesome. The awesome things I do have are awesome kids, a great relationship and fabulous friends. Beyond that? My "HAVEs" are pretty much things I wish I didn't. Isn't it strange though? Most of us are basically in the same damn boat and yet there are those who still feel like they're better than others. Yay, so you're a a pauper among beggars. "But I have more shit than you!" Sorry buddy. Shit is still shit. A whole hella lot of nothing is still nothing. I mean seriously? Why in the hell would you want to brag about having more of nothing anyway. And I'm not quite sure what makes a single one of the "unwashed masses" think themselves more superior than another when quite honestly? We're all pretty much in the same sinking ship.

I am so sick and tired of people in general. I hate them. I mean, I know that isn't a big secret. Anyone who has hung out around here long enough knows that I don't like people. The pettiness and cruel, selfish malice of most people makes me sick. And it's predominant. I can't even begin to tell you the same "youtube" videos that I've seen over and over again, about some miraculous act of "kindness". Seriously? If you think about it, it really only boils down to it being "miraculous" because even though it should be common, it really isn't. We celebrate in mediocrity and the sad state of the human condition because although we should be kind, we're not.

Humans are the most petty, hateful, selfish, malicious, wasteful, disgusting (I could go on here...) species that has tainted this planet. Looking around at the world around me, whether it's right in my own neighborhood, to out into the world, it kind of gets a little overwhelming sometimes. The slow back steps down the immoral path we go. I'm tired of hearing, "But, I'm a good person", getting the list of the reasons why (all petty and stupid really), then hearing excuses for their misdeed in the next breath while hearing that it wasn't their fault and it happened because someone else MADE them do it in the following breath.

I have, I have, I have continues.... The amassing of petty, stupid, materialistic SHIT, when at the end of the day, what does it really matter? I have, I have, I have..... The amassing of people to call friends, but if the shit should hit the fan, who of them would really come running? I have, I have, I have..... The amassing of lies and deceit as people build a walls to hide their misdeeds or the fact that they are just nasty little shits with issues who just want to SEEM like decent people.

And to top it all off, people really don't seem to care that their lives are really just a facade and will do nothing to correct the negative "haves" in their lives. They only turn around and blame those around them and point out the flaws and negatives of others. NICE!

Am I perfect? Hell no. I admittedly harbor my own pile of "negative haves", but I've come a long way to tear down the walls of my facade and show that I am nothing more than a flawed human being, with a whole shit ton of negative things I need to fix in my life. And I've pretty much laid most of my shit out for people to see and poke with a stick or tell me that I'm "alright" and thank me for doing so. Go figure. I'm gonna just keep going here with my bad self!

The difference between men and women......

I know I've kind of covered this topic a couple of times. Like HERE.

Wow.... did you really go back? Was it worth it? Because I was gonna repeat it right now. Mostly because I'm an asshole like that. Yup. Men are from Earth. So are women. Women are from Earth too. But seriously. What makes them so freaking different? I mean, obviously, other then the physiological penis/ vagina thing and all that. I mean mentally, emotionally... The inner mechinations of their minds and shit. The use of "logic" and their systems of what "logic" is: TOTALLY different. Approaches to everything: TOTALLY different. Reactions and responses to things: TOTALLY different. Different hormones and all sorts of other stuff aside..... Or maybe, THAT'S what makes us different. Maybe it's the way we grow up and how "society" puts different thoughts into our minds by planting the seed of male/female roles in our minds from a very young age. I don't know. But the fact of the matter is, There's a difference.

Penis, testicle / vagina thing. There are so many "differences between the sexes" that's become kind of cliche, ya know? Like how men are more brutal and aggressive and women are conniving and malicious. Men are the protectors, while women are nurturing. You know. THAT type of shit. But you really can't say that they hold true across the board, because, quite honestly, it doesn't.

Only once did I ever feel the need to REALLY address the issue. A boy, whom my parents thought would be a good "suitor" for me (I was 11 or 12 at the time) decided to "man card" me and say that I will do his bidding, I will do as I am told and I will do so without question because he was the man and I was the woman. I challenged him to make me if he thought he could. After I thoroughly beat the ever loving shit out of him and left him bloodied and bruised on a playground, the parents (mine and his) asked what happened. I was honest. I told the adults that the little pansy couldn't handle taking his lumps and that the nasty little shit was rude and obnoxious and needed a solid lesson. His parents were quite upset and told my parents that I needed to be punished for my insolence. I DARED my parents to punish me. It never happened. I laid down my threat and said that if I saw the boys face again, I would pound him worse. Funny how we never saw that family again.....

So, does it become a matter of parenting? I mean, it would seem that in some cultures, it really is. Look at these islamic pieces of crap and the way they treat their women.... Fucking barbarians. But then, looking at nature vs. nurture. Men do tend to be bigger and stronger. Aggressive behavior seems to be more predominant in the male species. Men usually take over the role of "protector" in most cases. But across the board? I can think of TONS of situations and name people who don't necessarily "fit the bill".

Maybe I'm over thinking this whole thing (which wouldn't be unusual), but I get curious about this shit sometimes. I'm sure that there's some super scientific research-y whatever about it all, but even those studies can't guarantee 100% of the time or pinpoint EXACTLY what it is that drives the males and females of our species..... Food for thought.

Sex, fucking and making love......

So here it is. A blog about "le sexy time" :wink, wink, nudge, nudge:

So what is sexy time? Well, duh. If I have to explain it, you're either too young to be thinking about sexy time, too old to care, or just aren't gettin' enough properly. I mean, come on. It is an intimacy shared between two people and despite the fact that some religions try to tell us that it is for procreation not recreation..... Well, let's just say, I'm pretty happy that I dont' subscribed to religion.

It IS a pleasurable thing and I try to have some as often as possible with my Puppy Guts. I mean, honestly? I think I had the wrong ideas about "le sexy time" and the differences between having sex, fucking and making love.  Let me break it down. "Having sex" sounds pretty clinical to me. Cold and unfeeling. Simple baby making and that's it. stimulation of the organs so that the male can spoo his baby gravy in the female vag hole to impregnate her. Done.

"Fucking" takes on a different meaning too. Lust and passion fueled all you can screw buffet of genital boinkfest. I mean, depending on the intent, this is a whole hell of a lot of fun, or it's kind of rape. The fun kind is when both people are enjoying the hell out of the raw animal undulating flesh pile of sweat and moans and screams. The rape kind is when only one of the participants is enjoying themselves and the other is trying to get away. Seriously. NOT cool!

Then we come to the "making love" thing. Some people find this term to be absolutely ridiculous and kind of corny and retarded. I guess. But in order to categorize, certain terminology needs to be used here. I think what it boils down to is INTENT. I mean, it can range from baby making to absolute, all out chaotic meat pounding sin circus, but in the end, it's the intent that makes all the difference. I mean, why put limits on the "kind of sex" a loving partnership should have when it comes to sexy time?

And it's not just about limitations and the, "I'm not gonna try that", plain old missionary sex. I hate how women use sex as a tool to control their men. Take it away as punishment, hold it over their partner's heads. Or doled out as a reward or an appeasement. I mean, it is the greatest intimacy two people can share and if one of them is not enjoying it, well then, something is very wrong. It should be that every opportunity is a good one for having a little sexy time with your lover, no matter how many years have passed.

I don't know. I guess I feel bad for people who don't have healthy and fun and acrobatic and mind blowing sexy time regularly and taking every opportunity to "have a quickie" or "spend some time"..... Just sayin'.....