More adventures at the grocery store....

For those of you who have the pleasure (?) of knowing me on Facebook, you have probably already heard this story. I would like to recant it here again today, just to show the rest of you guys just how fucked up my life can be and how the "random occurrences" in my life are really just some cosmic or karmic punishment for having been an idiot in a past life or something.

Now, I'm not REALLY sure why I attract these kind of people or what it is about me that these kind of people tend to gravitate towards me...... And it usually happens at the grocery store..... 

So, there I was, doing my grocery shopping, minding my own business, bopping around to some Spice Girls (? Could have been Sheryl Crow....... Honestly, I don't know.) tune playing on the loudspeaker thingy, because, well, that's what I do. Well, some lady made it her life's mission to stop and "talk" to me. 

Some Random Lady (SRL): My! Aren't YOU obnoxiously weird!

I smiled. 

SRL: Are you ALWAYS like this? :gasps: OH MY GOD! I am SOOOOOO sorry! Are you "special"? :finger quotation marks:

My smile faded quickly. (Seriously? I HATE people.)

Me: Lady? Right now, I'm, just fucking annoyed. I'm not quite sure what self deluded, completely imagined superiority you think you have to get ALL up in my business, judge me, then start raining down your shit storm on my sunshine parade, but might I suggest, from now on, you keep your gaping maw SHUT, because you are NO ONE to be judging ANYONE, you rude, arrogant, pompous, ignorant, malicious BITCH! Go slithering back to whatever ring of hell you came from!

SRL: Excuse...... EXCUSE ME??!??

Me: You are excused. Scurry along now. Bye! 

SRL: That doesn't even make sense!

Me: You asked to be excused. I excused you. Now, scurry, scurry! Bye!

:Random Guy snickers: 

SRL: Do you even KNOW English?

Me: Apparently, I have a better grasp and understanding of the language than you do.

Random Guy: BURN! :points and laughs at SRL:

SRL: Wow! I'm SUBJUGATED by idiots!

Me: Are you serious right now? Because this is WAY too easy...... 

SRL: Yeah! Subjugated. It means "surrounded". SUB-JOO-GAY-TED.

Me (in my BEST Inigo Montoya): You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means....

Random Guy: Uh..... "Subjugate" means "conquer"..... And, yes, you were.... By "idiots" :finger quotation marks: :winks at SRL:

:SRL, left confused: :random high five with Random Guy: 

WINNING!

Note to self: Find a different grocery store to go to.....

Response to self: But we know where everything is at OUR grocery store! Besides, we're WAY to lazy to learn a different system at a new grocery store!

Response to the response to note of self: FUCK YOU! ...... Yeah. It's true.
Response to the response to the response of note to self: We need to suck it up and deal. This is our life....... 

FUCK!