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Monday, May 6, 2013

Word of advice to those who are sick......

This allergy season has hit pretty hard. I mean it's been AWFUL. I don't think I have ever had  a worse year! It's wretched!

On a particularly crummy allergy day, suffering from congestion, runny nose, headache from all the congestion in my head, cough and sore throat from all the dry air in the house and an overall feeling of yuckiness, I made the mistake of watching a marathon of House MD while looking up home remedies for stuffiness, which eventually led me to webmd.com. HUGE mistake. And it happens EVERY TIME! I get sucked in. I mean, I KNEW what my problem was. I already KNEW what was ailing me. I made it worse and I filled my head with paranoid ideas by subjecting myself to House episodes and webmd.com. I don't know why I did it and I regretted it the second I started feeling all the same symptoms for amyloidosis or some rare blood disorder caused by the bite of some strange insect found only in some remote town on some tiny island in the Pacific. What? It could happen.

Well, let's just say THIS always happens:
I feel sick+House episodes+webmd.com= I have sarcoidosis and lupus, with a side of testicular displacement, prostate enlargement, a testosterone deficiency and possible seasonal allergies, unless my symptoms are accompanied by high fever, in which case, more than likely, I will probably have a seizure at any moment and become jaundiced, shit out my intestines and lose my sight because it's some rare viral infection that no one has ever heard of. They will name the disease after me. For dessert, my dearest Puppy Guts will be pregnant with twins and he may also be suffering from ovarian cysts with a case of chronic diarrhea with a whistle.

Yup. Good ol' House marathons and webmd.com! Don't do it.


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