Toothpaste......

I've often wondered about the lowly toothpaste tube and how much ick it sees on a daily basis. Let me explain: The human mouth is a disgusting place. Second to your anus, it's pretty  much a cesspool of disgusting yuckiness. Look that shit up. That is FACT. So, here we are, sharing a communal tube of toothpaste, which gets used by EVERYBODY in the house, on toothbrushes that touch the mouths of the toothbrushes, thereby transmigrating all the ick from one's mouth onto and kind of INTO the tube of toothpaste. Now, don't get me wrong. We have only one tube of toothpaste here and it's the only one that gets used by everyone, and it's not like I'm going to go out and get myself my OWN tube of toothpaste, only to be used BY ME or anything, nor am I all freaked out by it. This is just something that I happened to be thinking about and had a dream about the other night.

Yup. A DREAM.  Except that the toothpaste tube had legs and fangs and was trying to bite everyone and infect them with a mutant strain of gingivitis in the privates. And, of course, the only way to kill it was a course of antibiotics and Twizzlers. Then, something, something, something and we broke into a musical number (which I wish I remembered because it felt like it was a pretty catchy tune...) and then I woke up.... (Don't try and understand it. It will only drive you mad. Just flow with it. Let the madness rush over you and flow passed you. It's okay.....)

Yeah, so, remember that the next time you're brushing your teeth. You're welcome.