The Other Side....

So, where did I really end up when I came out of the "other side of depression" here. I mean, I took a two month hiatus of sorts to sit and be and all, allowed my ass to grow and my waistline to expand and my fitness to have failed quite a bit. I look like crap. The looking like crap thing finally caught up to the feeling like crap. Ya know? I stewed in misery and sat in a state of inactivity, rebooted my system and I've emerged out the other end of this proverbial tunnel. So what came of it?

Well, let's assess this. Has my writing improved? No. Certainly not. They are still the attention deficit ramblings of an obsessive compulsive, spewer of words, words that get mashed into semi sentences that may or may not make any semblance of sense. I'm still producing the same shitty posts about the same kind of shit in my life or the same  random observations that I make about the same sort of experiences that I have. They are nothing more than sophomoric and inane little tidbits from my life. Some of them may hold small nuggets of truth, intellect, insight, knowledge or some deep, thought provoking something from time to time, you know, during the times that I am actually able to hold onto a coherent thought long enough to type them out. Others are really just a jumble of words that I can only hope will be interpreted the way I intended them to be taken, while I mashed the keyboard with clumsy fists in an attempt to form words in an order that may resemble sentences. I don't know. But here it all is.

Okay, but what of content..... Surely there must be some improvement there, no? Well, the contents haven't a real wide range. I seem to bitch about all manner of subjects and I say the word fuck a lot, but yeah..... The content really hasn't changed a bit. Some of the topics range from crazy to silly to somewhat serious, but this is the scope of my life, really. I mean this IS my life. Yes, I'm sure that there is a lesson I should be learning from all of this stuff happening in my life, but considering the fact that I really have no clear goals as to where my life is actually heading, it makes it rather difficult to determine what life lessons I should ultimately take with me as I move forward..... What to do...... What to do.........

It's not to say that I won't figure it all out eventually and get it all worked out, but the process has proven itself to be rather difficult. Huh...... go figure. I thought that when I reached a certain age, it would get easier. I guess I was mistaken.......