It's a SECRET!

Nothing stirs the imagination more than a secret that needs to be kept secret. Am I right? Nothing gets a person's attention more than the taboo of being told something that shouldn't be told to you. It's absolutely CAPTIVATING, isn't it? You can't help yourself. YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THIS SECRET-Y SECRET IS!!!!!!!!

That's why I like to look over my shoulder and stuff before I say things to certain people. Try to INFER that what I was about to say was something secrety-y secret. It gets people to focus VERY well. If they think they're hearing something that they ought not to be hearing, or if it seems like I'm letting them in on something that perhaps they really shouldn't know, it gets them to focus on the words coming out of MY mouth. And really, it's all in the hopes that they hear and process what the fuck I'm saying so that I see results. It benefits ME.


So, really, I'm actually doing people a favor. I hate having to repeat myself over and over again and I start to get a little less than personable when I do have to repeat myself. If what I have to say gets herd the first time around and the information gets processed, then everyone wins. I don't get annoyed and I don't have to get snippy with someone and they don't have to feel the snappish side of my personality. It's a win/ win.

The moral of the story? If I'm saying something to you that seems important, pay the fuck attention so I don't have to repeat or keep repeating myself. Just shut the fuck up and get it done.

Ahh..... If only it were that easy.