Killed it just a little......

So... We have these strange looking bugs that crawl and scurry around the house. They have a gojillion legs and I swear, they look like mutant lobsters from some circle of hell, created to torture the souls of the most evil of people like child rapists and murderers. And they're freaking huge. Like, put a leash on it and walk it around "HUGE"!

It's not that I get squeamish around bug or spiders or anything. Creepy crawlies really don't affect me. Hell, I've had many of them as pets. I think they're really cool looking. But these multi-legged spawns of the devil himself are really something left to be desired.  Seriously.

It turns out, though, despite being from a demon plane, they do not like fire. A can of WD-40 and a lighter took care of the latest scourge on humanity and I set the fucker on fire. He ran around for a bit too. Almost setting the curtains on fire and shit, but, I don't think I would have cared. I also sat and watched to make sure the thing REALLY died, just to be sure it wasn't going to go all "horror movie" and jump back to life again and try to attack me or my children. For good measure I stomped on it, a.) to put out the flames and b.) to smear the ashes around a little. Then I bleached the smear on the floor and cleaned it up nice-y nice while saying some prayers in every language I know.

I think it's dead now....... I hope. Otherwise, I think I may have SERIOUSLY pissed this thing off. I'll have to let you know.