Fast food......

I'm a fast food junkie. I am. I'll admit it. I love the Big Macs and the fries and the processed animal parts and the whatnot. All that stuff covered in questionable grease and sodium and other chemical whatever that I can't possibly pronounce sprinkled with a little bit of some mystery cancer causing ingredient on top....
It's not that I'm constantly at a fast food place nomming on the fast food or anything like that... I'll only ever feed it to my kids like MAYBE once a month and I might partake in a fast food morsel three or four times a month when no one's looking....
:sigh: I know it's not good for me and that I'd be better off NEVER eating it ever again and that it's disgusting and that it's made out of questionable things and could lead to all sorts of diseases like high cholesterol and cancer and junk and stuff, but I like it anyway and I'm keeping it. 100% of all people that eat food are going to die. Regardless of what they eat, they're gonna die. Life is short. I'd much rather live it and eat the things I want to than to limit myself because of whatever....

But it's MINE.....

I don't know what it is or even why it is, but there are times when your stuff looks better when it' becomes someone else's. I've had stuff that I didn't care too much about so I sold them on Ebay. I made some money and yay great..... It's some time later that I may see something that may be similar to the thing I sold and realize, maybe I DID kinda like it or want it.... And I experience a moment or two or more of seller's guilt.....  :(
I get over it quickly enough though. It really doesn't ever last long. It just that it happens and I think THAT'S what I find to be most annoying....

Mama! I wanna go to thkool!

My daughter, at age four, is so wanting to go to school. I have her home with me for another year to be my baby girl, but the reality is, all too soon, she will be jumping onto the school bus to go off on her first day of kindergarten. :sniffle:
It's kind of hard to imagine what it's going to be like with all of my babies in school. I've had at least one home with me for the last ten years and I have to say, it's really kind of a weird feeling that all too soon, All four of my children will be attending school. I really don't remember what it's like not to have a little one needing something from me at home during the mornings and early afternoons until the other kids came home from school.... I actually got really freaked out and had a mini anxiety attack over the whole idea of not having any of the children home during school hours and comforted myself by snuggling with my daughter for about two hours...... It was weird.
My daughter continues to tell me, almost every day, that she is ready for school and that she can't wait to go. She is excited about her first day of kindergarten some time down the road. In the meantime, she is still my squishy little baby and I get to keep her home with me....

Attention issues again....

It seems my attention issues have been kicking in again as I cannot seem to stay focused on tasks around the house again. It's not that I don't try to stay on task, it's just that I get so easily distracted from the task at hand and something else needs my attention, which I will end up being distracted from to go on to something else, leaving many things undone, which drives my OCD self up a wall. I can feel the two opposing sides battling it out as I flit about from task to task.... This is usually followed by a bout of insomnia, which is always such a fun time.... It ought to be a hoot..... Not to sound all Charlie Sheen-y, but if anyone ever tried my brain, they'd be all, "Whoa, can't handle it!" Here we go again! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

In theory.....

The point of a time out is to get the child in question to think about what it is that he or she did and maybe come to the conclusion that the action was bad and that they should regret what they did and apologize. In theory, that works....
When you are stubborn and end up with children who are just as stubborn as you.... Well, the theory kinda gets shot right the fuck out the window. But as a parent, I keep putting the child in question on a time out in the hopes that one of these days it FINALLY sinks in that the behavior will not be tolerated and that behavior ceases all together... Again, in theory, it should work..... :s

Woo hoo! Caffeine!

Thank goodness for the power of caffeine! WOOT!

Fitness.....

As I get older, I have come to the realization that exercise isn't going to get me the same results as they used to, like, when I was in my teens and twenties. It's not to say that I am in sorry shape, but it takes a lot more work to maintain the level of fitness and keep on trying to improve on said fitness. I resolved to try and exercise more this year and try to get into a better routine of doing so, more frequently and more regularly... Yeah.... Easier said than done.
I remember being fit and toned. I remember it being as easy as a half an hour of actually exercising a few times a week. Beyond that, yeah.... That was the extent of my fitness routine. I'm not sure what happened.... Well, that's not entirely true..... Marriage that led to complacency and not caring too much about the way I looked, then sprinkle in four kids.... It takes its toll on a body.
So now, I actually have to work at this thing called exercise in order to keep at a reasonable fitness level that I find to be adequate and it hurts. Changing up the routine frequently and challenging myself and pushing myself is really making parts of me not like me too much. There are parts of me that are no longer on speaking terms with me, I have other parts who are just NOT my friends any more too..... :s
But I'll keep at it.... We'll see what happens....

What if there was no box?

I do my best to get my children to think differently and be people who can think outside of the box. I have always tried to nurture their creativity and imaginations so that they can use it to be people who can come up with bigger, better EVERYTHING. They are bright individuals and are learning very quickly that sometimes thinking outside of the box is very useful in their day to day lives. With that being said, it's VERY difficult to get them away from following the pop culture icons and ads they see on tv trying to steer them towards the next idea of what cool is, and the peer pressure that they must encounter at school and blah, blah, blah....
It's difficult to get them outside the box when all of their peers and everything that they are constantly bombarded with is so far inside the box. I think it's every parents' duty to get their children to start thinking for themselves. It's an unfortunate thing that most parents will enable the boxed behaviors by letting their children get sucked into the "mainstream" and allowing their children to become so cookie cutter. Blech....
My hopes for my children is that they grow up to be thinking individuals who can go far beyond mediocre and not be sheep, I want them to be able to see passed the bullshit and not get caught up in the petty and mundane and go far beyond, to create the trends, to be the ones that people look up to, worthy of their admiration. In the meantime, I have much work to do.

Couch-y poo!

There are just certain times, generally during those wicked PMS times of the month where the couch is my best damn friend. The couch and I have an understanding.... I sink into the couch to vege in front of the TV and eat my pint of <whatever the flavor of the hour ice cream it is> while flipping through the channels to find something appropriate to watch and cry about.... Lately, it's been My Fair Wedding with David Tutera. And finally I have my sweet Puppy Guts rubbing my feet or my tummy or snuggling with me and it makes for bad PMS to be not so bad.
It's not every month that I experience bad PMS or really bad cramps which I guess I'm thankful for. But when I do, I know that there's a place for me with my name on it and things will get a lot better.

Well, I can hear me!

I mumble when I speak sometimes. I also am not looking at My Lucky when I am mumbling to him. It also doesn't help that his hearing isn't as sharp as it used to be. It's pretty funny actually.
I'm not sure why I find it to be so amusing, I just do. And when I tell him that I can hear what I'm saying and I understand what it is that I'm trying to convey, he tells me that he didn't, he's sorry, what did I say? Which leads us straight into the silliness of my saying that he should just KNOW what it is that I'm thinking and blah.... It's quite entertaining and sometimes I do it on purpose because we always get in to the silliest of back and forth banters with this one. :sigh: I know.....

BLAAAAAh.....

Not motivated to do shit. So I'm going to not be doing any today. That is all.

Bedtime routines.....

With their time being spent in two different households, and their time with their dad being during the weekends and vacation days, it's hard to get the bedtime routines down solid. I mean, we go through all the same stuff at approximately the same time every night that I have them. The brushing of the teeth, the showers/ baths thing, jams, saying goodnight, calling their dad to say good night to him, getting tucked into bed and blah..... My daughter is probably the worst offender of the not following of bedtime routines. It's wretched. I get her back onto a pretty good schedule right about the time the kids go back to their dad's again and BAM! Back to square one..... :s
Oh well..... I'm sure it'll be different once she starts going to school. Until then, I'm just going to enjoy the extra snuggle time I get with her to coax her to go to sleep.

Nyaaaah!

I'm not sure how hand gestures came to be what they are, but there you have it. There are certainly universal ones that carry a meaning no matter where you go and whatever language you speak... Like the "I'm choking" one..... Then there's flipping the bird or the flicking out of fingertips under your chin. I mean, it's not exactly something you use in polite company.... It certainly does convey a certain message and it's considered quite rude. My whole issue is, who determined what is rude. I mean, what made them so fuckin' special that they got to pick and choose what was proper and what wasn't..... Whatever. I'm gonna keep my rude hand gestures and use them whenever I want and there ain't a damn thing anybody can do about it.

The lazy eye....

I never know where to look when I meet a person with a lazy eye. I never can tell which eye is looking where and I'm not sure which eye I'm supposed to be in line with. I don't want to seem rude or have them think that I noticed something wrong.....
Puppy Guts gave me some great advice regarding that.... Look at the person's nose. Direct eye contact is friggin' impossible, so stare at their nose....
Aha....

Exercising.....

I've vowed to do a bit more exercising in the New Year and it has proven to be quite a challenge. I've incorporated some new stuff in there and I have to tell ya, it hurts. Mostly because they're working things that I guess haven't been worked in a while. I must go up and down the stairs about a gojillion times a day. It happens. Things are always going on, but never on the same floor. Whatever. But with the new things I'm doing and leg and butt muscles screaming at me anyway, the stairs are proving to be quite a challenge. Keeping in shape during the colder months was a little more difficult because it's not as if I want to go take a walk in the cold. Sure we had plenty of nice days, but cold? No. Me no like.
So I stuck with indoor calisthenics and exercises and going full bore into them was my bad..... But being stubborn, I kept up with them anyway through the tears and the ouch. and those first few weeks were painful as all get out. I still feel the ouch from time to time.... That may be an age thing too. Crap.... I didn't realize that things aren't going to be as easy as when I was in my twenties..... Grrrr.......

Poker....

I'd never make a good poker player. I mean AT ALL. EVER...... I don't have a poker face because I'm always smiling when I have a "good hand" and I probably have more "tells" than any poker player on the face of the planet. I never know when to fold, I never know what cards to keep or what to throw away or trade in for new ones and I certainly don't know the "rules of conduct" at the table.... I never know when someone's bluffing or whatever and I certainly don't ever win. Meh.... Whatever. It's a card game and it bores me to tears.
A few years ago, there was actually a show dedicated to watching people play poker. They had commentators and everything, talking about the strategies and how skilled a player was and blah blah blah.... I nearly fell out of my seat laughing..... THAT is what we find to be entertaining? Good grief. They'll turn anything into a TV show....

YAY! GROUP HUG!

The group hug: There is something about the hugging within a group that brings together a closeness with people. It symbolizes a camaraderie or a bond of dissimilar people who just shared a common moment. It's a nice little moment shared by people... It's a warmth, a small little measure of humanity, a something.

It's a lot like that experiment done some time ago on a crowded subway train. One person started laughing for what appeared to be no reason. Within minutes, the whole compartment of people were laughing along with her. A whole bunch of stranger from all walks of life and here they were sharing a moment with each other and laughing together. Likely, they would never see each other again, but it would be an experience they may never forget. Certain things like this, certain moments, certain segment in our lives that seem so insignificant, but can mean so much at the same time. It seems such a shame that people don't take the time to see them or enjoy them or whatever more often.
A random thought really....

Happy birthday, Mini Doom!

My youngest and only daughter celebrates her fourth birthday today. Surely, she will be dressed up in her prettiest pink fluffy dress, her hair will be done up all princess pretty and she will don her sparkly pink jeweled tiara and wield her fairy princess wand of doom.
We will go to the store to pick up cake and ice cream and have a dinner consisting of her favorite foods (mac and cheese, kielbasa, corn....) and we will celebrate the princess' birthday in super mega princess-y style.
The drawback is going to be that every day will be her birthday for the next month and a half and she will expect the same royal treatment every day.... It's cute for the first few days.... But soon the luster wears off and the reality that it's no longer her birthday will come crashing down... :( Undoubtedly, she will pout and frump, but I know that I will easily be able to distract her with crayons and paper and a snack of hummus and chips.
It's hard to believe that the youngest of my brood is now four years old. I remember the shock of hearing that I was having a girl and I went into such denial because I did well with three little boys. Now, looking back, and looking forward, I can't imagine life without my little girl.... I love you my Baby Doll! Happy Birthday Squish! My little Mini Doom.... May you always be my little princess who's not afraid to tackle your brothers and throw down with the best of them.

Bedtime stories....

There's something to be said for real honesty in bedtime stories. Go the FUCK to Sleep is perhaps one of my favorites. I think it's important for children to get healthy doses of reality every day and from early in their lives. I haven't read this particular story to them and I don't think I'm gonna until they're a little bit older, but the idea behind this book is genius and so very true. I LOVE the version on youtube where Samuel L. Jackson reads it. Perfect really.
I think we grew up in a time where we were placated with UN-realities and were made to feel like everything was great and everything was cool and the world was safe and happy unicorns and magical rainbows and cute fluffy bunnies. Enabled, spoiled, selfish, self-centered, arrogant, conceited, overindulged, and unrealistic about our expectations and wanting instant gratification. We went out into the world and lo and behold, we got our pee pees slapped in the dirt.
I refuse to let that be the case with MY children so I feed them doses of REAL reality to them every day. I don't feel the need to sugar coat things because I think it'd hurt them more later on if they didn't know the truth from the get go. Failure is failure and they are expected to get up and try again. Mistakes are mistakes and they are expected to correct them and make it right. Wrong is wrong and the excuses don't fly and I will see them take responsibility for what's theirs. It will serve them better in life as they grow then doing the namby pamby routine that feeds the laziness to want to go down the path to mediocrity. I know that now.

Getchyer feet off the damn table!

It's not that I have too many pet peeves..... Well, yeah I do, but still, there's a ranking order to how much said pet peeve will annoy me. The one that tops off the list is when the kids ignore me. Despite telling them something or asking them to do something, I get ignored. HATE IT.
Another thing is feet up on the dinner table. My pop is SO very annoying with that. Despite the fact that I asked him NOT to do it, he insists on cutting his gnarly toe nails at the kitchen table with his feet up on it..... Ugh.... It did amuse me to no end when he nearly fell out of his chair trying to get his foot off the table after he was done though. Is it wrong that I was upset that he DIDN'T fall? Oh well.... Karma can keep that one too. I make no apologies.

Back to bed.....

Have you ever had one of those days where just the most odd series of events takes you from one moment to the next? I'm not sure whether I should find amusement in these kind of days or whether I should start screaming maniacally in the hopes that it is just a terrible dream and that perhaps I will wake from it.....
Whether it is caused by the A.D.D. and not being able to stay on one single strange task at a time leading me from one single strange task to multiple strange tasks that just go downhill from there or the fact that the single strange task requires other strange tasks to take place in order for the original strange task to be accomplished, I am not quite sure.
It usually involves a "favor" that my mom asks of me....... Ah.... That explains a lot. Never mind.... I've got my answer right there. There is definitely a reason why I will opt to go back to bed when my mom "asks for a favor".....

Internet forums.....

I have to say that internet forums are a great source of information sometimes. Knowledgeable people relaying information, perhaps answering a particular question that you or someone had brought about. Works out wonderfully. Other times...... Well, it's kinda the opposite. People posting half baked, cockamamie ideas or clips that make no sense, lack any logic or are just plain stupid.
Normal people who have half a brain will ignore such posts and move along. Then there are others. They mindlessly flock to it and believe everything that they see and read and rabid try to tear apart anyone who disagrees, even though they cannot back up or uphold any of the stuff that they are standing behind. I love starting arguments and trouble on stuff like that. I love throwing in logic and reason. I love throwing in actual facts. I also love seeing my direct attacks being deflected and avoided, further solidifying the weak and pointless arguments made by my weak minded counterparts. I love that the questions I pose asking them to support their feeble arguments get ignored despite the fact that I may pose them over and over and over again. The more times they get ignored, the more solid my arguments become. It's fabulous. I barely have to do anything at all to show how unsubstantiated the opposing claims are..... :sigh: I need to go find some other forums that might actually challenge me a bit more.... I need to keep the mind sharp and some of the forums I'm on are just making things too easy.

Can I get a minute??!??

It never fails. I can be sitting around doing nothing or trying to play with the kids who are less than interested in having me around or whatever, but the second I am engaged in something else, like being on the phone or sitting on the toilet, THAT'S when I am needed for something critical by one, some or all of the children.
I swear there is some kind of magical trip wire on the threshold of the bathroom that automatically triggers some kind of brain chemical in the kids that makes them remember something that they feel is critical that they feel I need to know right as I'm sitting on the can....  :sigh: Parenthood ROCKS!

Internet porn......

The discovery of internet porn has got to be something of a shock to people...
My pop, being ancient, and having just recently discovered the magic of computers and the internet,  has been busted many a time surfing through the porn sites and stuff.... Blech.... It's funny seeing the look on his face when he gets busted though....

I find it so funny that you can google just about anything that you can possibly think of. Any combination of random words and lo and behold, eventually, some porn something will pop up.... It's funny and very disturbing at the same time. I mean there has to be a market for this kind of stuff in order for it to be popping up, right?

You can type in cookie dough or strawberry PopTart or something as harmless as fluffy bunny, but eventually, it happens. Something that ought NOT to pop up, pops up..... :shudder: no wonder the world is going to hell......

Um........ No.

There are some questions that don't really require the thought that you pretend to put into them. The answer is VERY apparent and clear and obvious, but we feel the need to pretend to think about it anyway....
This is especially true when the kids ask for something...

Child: Mommy? Can I have a box of chocolate?
Me: Um....... No.

or

Child: Mommy? Can you buy me <some expensive toy that they don't need that I can't afford anyway>?
Me: Um........ No.

Or the instances with random people...
Some random person: So, can I call you some time?
Me: Um....... No.

or

Some person I don't like: We should do this again!
Me: Um....... No.

I probably use "Um....... No." about twenty to thirty times a day because of the random questions that pop up like just last night when my daughter asked if we could have cupcakes for dinner. Yeah. She got the standard answer. Um....... No.