XTREME Games....

Sitting around with friends playing board games is fun..... When you're, like, four...... But if you were to change around the rules and make it more extreme and alcohol is involved and you make the shit more intense, THAT'S FUN!!! I mean "Shit just got REAL!" kind of stuff. For example... Drunken lawn darts. 'Nuff said. Not a board game I realize, but sphincter puckering fun anyway. Can you imagine a round of "NO HOLDS BARRED, EXTREME YATZEE"?  Or how about an exciting game of "GHETTO STYLE MONOPOLY: EXTREME EDITION"? Where instead of houses and hotels, you change them out with whore houses and meth labs and gang style wars broke out on the board and stuff? WHat if, like, real blood was drawn and an actual fight broke out? Trip to the hospital over a game of "Sorry!" takes on a WHOLE NEW MEANING, don't you think?

I mean, there are some games that can get pretty extreme on their own. Sitting there playing Trouble with friends, who hasn't had the experience of knocking all the pieces to the floor and flipping the board over and screaming out, "You guys are ASSHOLES! I'm LEAVING!" Or discovering the TRUE jackass nature of people when they hit you with a "draw four" on top of another "draw four" when playing Uno. I've witnessed the break up of a marriage over a game of Pictionary once. Seriously. NOT kidding. There's always XTREME Jenga too. You use cinderblocks and dowse them in gasoline and set those fuckers on fire! But I suppose that's a DIFFERENT kind of extreme.......

Seriously, if people can get serious over watching a stupid game on television and get all wrapped up in THAT kind of shit, why is it so odd for me to want to be participating in a game that goes extreme? I mean, at least when my friends and I play extreme board games, it doesn't result in someone throwing a temper tantrum over a "bad call" or whatever the fuck. If temper tantrums are thrown, they are for a damn good reason, like getting a game pieces chucked into your eye or something. ......Yeah. I know there's no reasoning this out. The more I try, the more it looks silly. It's just a game for Christ's sake, but DAMN IT! A DRAW FOUR ON ANOTHER DRAW FOUR????!?!?!?!?!?!?!? That was just WRONG! What'd I ever do to you, asshole!!!!!!