Waste of Time.....

I used to hang out with people that I didn't particularly like. It often made me wonder why the fuck I kept on doing it, but, I did it anyway. Maybe it was some masochistic need to fit in with people that may or may not have liked me, but I felt some need to please them anyway. Maybe I was just stupid. I don't know. But there you have it.

I never really understood REAL friendship until I actually had it. I suppose that's true of most people. I am not talking about those friendships of convenience, but REAL friendship. The kind of friends that help you move...... the body. The kind of friends who call..... the bail bondsman as they sit cuffed next to you. The kind of friends who will skip along next to you chanting "Someone's gonna get it..." when the shit hits the fan. The kind of friends that will have your back and not talk behind it. The kind of friends who are up front and brutally honest, ESPECIALLY when you don't want to hear the truth. I get that now.

It still boggles my mind that I wasted so much of my time trying to please people that really ended up not meaning a whole hell of a lot to me. People whom I really didn't care for, but sort of "was stuck with" for lack of a better term. Pretending to be someone or something that I wasn't in order to please those around me, all the while, resenting myself for it and despising the ever loving shit out of these people I found myself surrounded by. All that time wasted! And then to have met people who I say, "Jeez! I wish we had been friends since forever ago!"

Lesson learned though. :)