My Weird Phobias....

There are times when my kids are with their dad and Puppy guts is off at work at night and I am left home alone all by myself. Sometimes it's fun to fuck with myself by freaking myself out by watching scary movies in the dark before going to bed. It always leads to a bit of heart racing paranoia and my imagination goes hog fucking wild! It's pretty cool. Some of the things that happen include:

Checking the shower before I pee. I can't even begin to imagine what I'd do if I DID find someone there... It would probably include many rounds of .45 ball being fired into the shower hider and some ringing in my ears from the loud blasts. And there would probably be a pee trail to the phone where I would call 911....

Hiding under blankets. As if by some super magic, a layer of blanket will deflect any kind of attack, whether it be zombies, monsters, some evil entity or a knife wielding lunatic. YAY BLANKETS!

I usually do my showering before Puppy Guts leaves for work, but sometimes I like to freak myself out and wait. Then I can do the thing where I think I'm gonna see a zombie or something when I open my eyes after washing my face in the shower or whatever. And of course letting out a little pre-emptive "EEK!" when I open my eyes just to see nothing, just in case I DID end up seeing something.

EVERY noise is someone trying to break in, which is kind of cool.... Then it's just a matter of figuring out which way I'd want to blast said intruder and seeing whether or not I'd remember the number to 9-1-1 when all was said and done.

Ahh..... Good times..... Yes, I know I'm a quirky person.....