Almost lost it.....

This season brings out the assholes and dipshits from every corner.... They flood the stores, they flood the markets, coming out in droves to get in their holiday shopping. The weather being colder doesn't help and of course, stupid people out in bigger numbers, walking around being idiots, driving around like ass hats and just all around being unsupervised and unmedicated, getting in the way of MY progress....

IT doesn't help that I hate this time of year. Adding to it, the stress of all being near all these people and the holiday cheer and the carols and all the twinkling lights and dingly bells and sparkly tinsel and all that other shit..... Then add in a heaping bucketful of pushy assholes in the stores and screaming kids and jerk offs and twat waffles and douchewads and cunt boogers, the long lines and the insanity.

I had some shit-tard try to cut me off in traffic and when I wouldn't let him do it, he called me a fucking retard and flipped me the bird. I promptly told him to go fuck himself flipped him the bird back. It seems to be the equivalent to the, "Season's greetings! Be well kind stranger!" greeting that USED to be the norm.  And, I won't make the mistake of walking around and trying to drink a coffee in this madness because I had some asshole bump into me. It spilled everywhere. He called me a bitch even though he bumped into me and made me spill my coffee.  Apparently his Brooks Brothers coat is more valuable than my "useless and pathetic life". I promptly told him to shut the fuck up and that he owes me a new cuppa joe and to scamper off and get me one before I wrung his pencil neck and made him flinch. Then I had some woman pull my hair to get my attention because she wanted me to move out of her way. Hair pulling? Seriously?

The final straw came when I saw some lady yelling at an elderly woman in the self check out lane. I killed her about three times in my mind before I approached. I asked the women what the problem was. The elderly woman was frazzled by the woman yelling at her on top of NOT being able to process her order. I gave her a hand, got her checked out and sent her on her way. Problem solved there.

Then I turned my attention to the bitch. It was bad enough that I had to be out, in public, with a bunch of assholes, DEALING with some of its finest, but for this woman to try and get her bully on with an elderly woman was IT. I verbally tore into her with a tirade with the likes that no one had ever seen before. I SWEAR the whole entire store went silent. My use of curse words was spot on and the eloquence and timing in which I delivered the flawless masterpiece was uncanny. Strangely, when the woman finished her business silently and slunk away, I felt better. I usually end up feeling worse after a tirade, but this day, I felt relieved. I went back about my business, finished up and went on my merry way.

I really don't get nearly enough credit for NOT going "clocktower crazy"...... Seriously. I hate this time of year.