Slap a ________ ! Day...

We all have our pet peeves about the different groups, whether it's political, "religious", social... It's not a racial thing. It's not a class thing. It's not anything other than the roles we choose for ourselves. We all have our opinions about, well... Everything. But there are those on the fringe that want to impose THEIR opinions on you and the way you live or affect us in a way that makes one feel downright... Icky or who are just flat out annoying. FUCK THAT!
So, I have come up with a system that covers the gamut with "Holidays" that we can all look forward to... Here it goes:

Slap an Ultra Conservative! day                President's Day

Slap an Ultra Liberal! day                            Memorial Day

Slap an Environmentalist! day       Earth Day (Prius drivers can be slapped the entire week preceding and following Earth Day)

Slap a Scientologist! day                 March 13 (L Ron Hubbard's Birthday)

Slap a Telemarketer! day                 Any time that may be inconvenient for them.

Slap a Slow Driver in the Hammer Lane! day    August 12 (First production of the Model T)

Slap a Drunk Driver! day                July 19 (the day of the Chappaquiddick incident)

Slap a Person Asking a Stupid Question! day    August 4 (Helen Thomas' birthday)

Slap a Person Giving a Stupid Answer! day    March 31 (Al Gore's birthday)

Slap "People who live in the North who display the Rebel flag! day  April 9 (The day Lee surrendered to Grant)

Slap a Douchebag! day                     July 7 (You have to be in"the club" to understand)

Slap a Pedophile! day (although unnecessary violence with blunt, heavy objects is also encouraged)                                 October 1 (Polly Klaas case)

Slap a R.I.C.E.-r Driver! day             June 22 (The day The Fast and the Furious was released)

Slap a Terrorist Sympathizer/ Apologist! day       September 11 (Duh!)

Slap a Mother Fucking, Shit Eating, "I know EVERYTHING! You're just stupid.", Cock Sucking, Close Minded, Selfish, Self-Centered, Holier Than Thou Thinking, Mashed Potatoes for Brains, Spineless, Cowardly... Oh, COME ON! You all KNOW at least one of these!
Every other Tuesday from 9a.m to 3P.M. EST

Yup. I think "Slap a ______! " days will catch on. It'll be the new craze! I am open to suggestions for additional holidays for when I become Ruler of the Universe. :) Oh, and if Hallmark ends up making cards for any of these days, I demand royalties! (Props to Lucky for his suggestions on some of these "Slap a ______!" days!)