Reality SUCKS!

There's  the run down of the thing or things that you would like to see, but the reality.... Well, if you stop and think about it a little bit... Well a good portion of the time, the reality sucks huge donkey balls. Sweaty, huge donkey balls. Hairy, sweaty, huge donkey balls....

"Only half the calories!"        But in scarfing down two whole half gallon tubs of ice cream, it's still gonna go straight to your already ample ass...

"You may already be a winner!"    Along with a gajillion other people. And none of them are the winners either.

"You can't win if you don't play!"    But if you don't play, think of the hundreds of dollars you'd be saving from NOT buying losing lotto tickets.

"I can't believe it's not butter!"     EEEEYEW! I can...

"Of course I'm going to!"        No... No you're not....

"Well, that's the PLAN, anyway..."       Really? How's that workin' out for ya?

"I'm in the process of getting that taken care of..."    You're a lying, worthless sack of shit.

"Like new!"           By who's definition? Do you know what the definition of "new" is? 

"25% off!"           25% off of way overpriced is still way overpriced. No thanks.

"Get into the spirit of the holidays!"          No thanks. I don't want to be a materialistic, overindulgent, shop-a-holic spender buying a whole lot of shit that has no use except to fill landfills or a pushy, shove-y bitch with grabby grabberton issues, or a rude piece of shit with self indulgence problems.... You get the idea. People suck even more during the holidays.

There are so many things that get such a spin that makes it sound so great, but if you stop and think about it, is it really that great? Yeah, no. Go sell your bullshit elsewhere. I've got enough to deal with at the moment.