For Pete's sake! That's NOT what I SAID!

So, the pre-teen still insists that it is NOT his girlfriend, they  are just friends. They don't go on dates, they just hang out. And it's not a kiss, it's a peck on the lips... What??!??
"Alright-y there chicken little, peck what and who the what the heck now?If lips are meetin' lips, it's a kiss. I'm just sayin'... "
I'm not saying that I make sense all the time, but this pre-teen logic? Umm.... Yeah, I'm still waiting for my super secret special pre-teen decoder ring... He responds by throwing his hands up in the air and while stomping away, he shouts out, "For Pete's sake! That's NOT what I SAID!"
Not surprisingly, I'm the super dorks of all dorks, the ruler and ultimate undisputed heavyweight champion of all things dork and now, apparently, I'm a jerk too.
What brought the most recent episode on, you ask... I had asked him whether he got a gift for his friend, the girl (I never said girlfriend) and what he wanted for supper...I don't know how we go from, "Did you get her a gift? Oh and by the way, what do you want for supper?" To, "We're friends, we hang out, I give her a PECK on the lips..." Then all of a sudden, it's drama and brooding...
I went upstairs to talk to him a few minutes later and asked him what the deal was... Get this. I forgot to buy the little packets of he Lorna Doone cookies when I went grocery shopping. Apparently, THAT'S what he wanted for snack, but they weren't there and a cow because a vest has no sleeves...
Any day now... I know the "Living with a Pre-teen" manual and instruction guide will be in the mail...