The public school system in podunk was a nightmare. A cookie cutter, white bread, winter wonderland friggin' nightmare. I am talking about US being the token minorities of this town, kind of nightmare. The school administration and staff were not able to handle anything other than average, "normal", garden variety, cookie cutter types and it showed.
The cookie cutter faculty and administration at the schools were wretched. They all plastered on their fake smiles and patronizing natures and spewed bullshit platitudes and nothing was ever done. I started barking louder. The smiles disappeared. I started barking even louder and the patronization went away. I came at them with everything and they started getting defensive. These people were terrible.
My eldest son was the constant target for bullies. I must have stormed the school at least twice a week, EVERY WEEK to confront administrative staff regarding the bullies AND the faculty who did nothing despite the fact that my son was asking for the help.
A fine example: My boy once got chased around the playground by a group of boys armed with sticks. They eventually caught up to him and started hitting him with the sticks. My boy went to go tell on them and the response he got from the teacher was, "Get over it kid. You weren't hurt that bad..." Of course, when I went into the school to confront this teacher, she hid behind the administration and the administration allowed her to.
Fine. So be it. I went into the school and gave them their final warning. If nothing was to be done by them and they were going to sit on their thumbs, then I would do something about it. The first thing I did was tell my boy, he IS allowed to defend himself. The school convinced him that he was NOT allowed to do this. Are you kidding me? The school wasn't going to do anything AND my boy didn't have any recourse?Whatever. I know my boy is more than capable of defending himself.
The second thing I started to do was call the police when incidents occurred at school. If the administration wasn't going to answer to me, they would HAVE to answer to the police. Not only would the school have to answer, but the parents of the children would have to come forward and answer for their children's actions as well.
Well, now, come to find out that this kind of shit happens everywhere. They call it a "no tolerance policy". A "no tolerance" policy sounds great... Put into practice? Not so much. I get how the schools are trying to make sure that the situation when it happens doesn't escalate right then and there. Understandable. On the other side of that, to not punish the instigator basically allows them to get away with their actions and let's them gear up to do it again. What of a situation like that and it escalates... What isn't tolerated is kids fighting back or defending themselves. The other thing that isn't tolerated is making the administrative staff answerable to anything.
If your child is harassed by a group of 6 or 7 kids, chased down a hall, roughed up and ultimately pushed down a flight of stairs, well, apparently, that's NOT a bullying issue and will not be handled as such. The way to go is a half assed "investigation" which is basically,
Teacher: Did you guys chase him down, rough him up and push him down the stairs?
Kids: No.
Teachers: See? CLEARLY not a case of bullying.
Then peer mediation, and a denial of the victims accusations before everything is neatly swept under the rug.
WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!!!! Me? Uh-uh. I don't think so. I've called up the police so that THEY can do an investigation, and they can try and tangle with my Jewish cobra. My Mitchie, my best friend, my lawyer.
The only advocates that children really have in school are their parents. It's unfortunate that as parents, we can't hang out with our kids in school to make sure that things like this don't happen. We send our kids off in the morning in the hopes that they come home, unharmed, unscathed and happy. A large portion of the time, no big deal. It's that one incident that can throw you for quite a loop. And when you're met with non-cooperation by the very people who, during the school hours should be making sure that things like this don't happen, how are you supposed to deal.
I get that middle school is a tough time. A weird age, all sorts of stuff, the pre-teen whatever... I get it. As far as 12-13 year old boys? They have their moments. Mine is no different. But as far as I'm concerned, he's never done anything to these other boys that merited him getting pushed down the stairs. So now? Everyone at the school tells me that their hands are tied, yet in the meantime, my son comes home to tell me that these same boys still verbally harass him whenever they get the chance and the school's hands are still tied. A great way to get them untied? Writing letters. There are several people that they do need to answer to. The Board of Ed, the superintendent of schools, police, other outraged parents in the same boat and the public.
Holy cow! When did things get so friggin' difficult? I remember a time when it was just, someone had a problem with you, you took it outside at recess, you scuffled and done. A week later, you're sitting down for juice and cookies at the kid's house and you've become BFFs. It's either that people today, including children, are becoming much more like animals that we need to have these policies put in place or we're becoming more like animals because of them... I'm not sure which is more terrifying and we're running out of room in that hand basket there...
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