Gee..... thanks.....

Call it a pet peeve or mine (yet another of my many), but I TRULY hate the "I can change" people. You know the ones. You keep on telling someone over and over that there are things that are causing a problem. Problems within a relationship that are keeping said relationship, whether it's a business relationship, a friendly relationship, a serious relationship, whatever. You get to a point when you have had enough of their shit and can't stand it any longer, so you kick them to the curb. Then all of a sudden it's, "I can change!!!" Well, actually, no. At first, it's the "Why?" and I suppose an answer is the least I can give. Generally, the answer is plain and simple. It was because they brought more negativity into my life than good, and in trying very much to get my own shit together, I don't need to be dealing with the shit off of someone else's plate. They were warned that there was a problem that needed fixing. It seemed important enough for me to bring it up while it was still a fixable problem. If I was important enough, it would have been fixed...

And it's always the same, isn't it? When dealing with a break up or a de-friendship or an unmaking of any kind of relationship..... One never actually sees the bad shit for what it is when things are still good. Then, after a while, you start to notice things that aren't really cool. Some you are able to let go. Others, not so much. After a while it starts to cause problems within the matrix of the relationship. Mature individuals, who value their relationships, will take the time to sit down and discuss the problems and come to a resolution and work them out. Others will deny that there is a problem and will drop it all together. But these things fester....

The "I can change" thing, to me, just seems like an insult really. ESPECIALLY when, in thinking back, you've told someone that <blah> is something that "I don't like" or "I think this is something that needs to be worked out or worked on" or "I'd like you to not fucking do that..." or whatever.It could have been handled and taken care of.... But when it becomes the crux of a breakdown, it is because it didn't matter then. The insult is that NOW, all of a sudden, when there is no more fixing it, THAT'S when it becomes important? Because YOUR status quo is about to become upset? But when MY status quo was being shit upon, it didn't matter, because I didn't matter? I was to shut up and deal with it and keep my place in line. No. People HAD to have known that I wouldn't keep that up for long. Unless they REALLY didn't know me or only claimed to, in which case, I have to say, that offends me MORE.

Gee... Wow.... Thanks.... FOR NOTHING! It's important to talk in a relationship people. About everything. It's also important to come to resolutions and compromises. It's about trying to better your relationships with the people who mean the most to you. Not infect them with things that could fester and destroy them. You need to listen and not deny the fact that you are not perfect. You need to own up to the fact that you did wrong, apologize and fix those mistakes. It sucks and it's probably one of the hardest things that you'll have to do, but if the people in your life are worth keeping around, shouldn't it be worth giving the effort to make sure they stick around BEFORE it's too late?

Just sayin'.....