Leap year....

I've always wondered about leap year babies.... It must suck to celebrate their birthdays for real every four years..... Then the other times, what.... They're celebrated on the 28th or the first? But it's really not the day is it..... I never really understood why we had leap year anyway. Once every four years we add an extra day to the year because what now? And for it to be universal all over the world.... I'm sure that there is some kind of important super duper reason why leap year happens and stuff and I'm sure that I may have heard the reason on more than one occasion, but..... Well, it didn't stick. Oh well. I guess the reason wasn't that important anyway. I just know that we got an extra day in February. Yippee! :eye roll:

How quickly the time goes.....

Seven years ago today, my third son was born, a joyful and wonderful day. Happy birthday to my little guy. So smart and so handsome. I'm so very proud of you! My hopes for you are that you grow to be strong and proud and upright. To grow into the great man I know you  can become.
It's hard to believe that the day you were born, we weathered a blizzard in the hospital, just the two of us. You may or may not remember the words I whispered to you. They may still lay in your subconscious mind somewhere (I know they are...), but know that I meant every word. :)
I love you to the moon and back my Boo Boo. Happy Birthday!

Negative people.....

My parents are probably the worst people, that, at the moment, I have to put up with in my life. They are negative and terrible and constantly berate and annoy me to the utmost extreme.

(Oh, but Mia.... They can't be that bad! They're your parents! They love you and want to do what's best for you!)

Well, when your father's nickname for you is "stupid worthless animal" and you are told on a daily basis that you would be doing the world a favor by dying and your mother says and does nothing to stop the behavior, and instead enables and even encourages it by making excuses for the ornery old git and throws in a jab or two herself JUST to get the cranky bastard onto another tirade of insults? I am thinking that the relationship there is not a healthy one and staying away from that would be wise and best for saving your sanity.

I spent far too long inside a box being told that what I did, who I was, what I was trying to do was never good enough, not enough, and that it was all doomed to fail. In looking back and having stopped listening to those people, I have seen that I have come a long way, having accomplished much in my own special way and that I am worth a lot more than what these people treated me or continue to treat me like.
Brick by brick, I've let issues go and stone by stone, I've started to let go of the people in my life who I know are holding me back. I let go of the grudges, I let go of the anger, I let go of the hate and then I am able to let go of the person all together. The processes are slow going, and sometimes it can be quite emotional, but in the end, it's quite liberating. So I keep moving forward.

Sharing.....

I was never really good at sharing. Actually, it was a concept that I failed miserably at in preschool. All the time..... My first words were "NO!" and "MINE!" I kind of rock like that.

So......

Creepy and effective, the surprise confrontation is a great way to deal with some people. It seems that most people need to prepare for confrontations both mentally and psychologically. It's nice to be able to ambush and SURPRISE them with a confrontation they weren't expecting.
I'm getting very good at keeping the poker face these days. Still couldn't play poker to save my life, but as far as springing surprise "confrontations", I'm getting better.
As I keep on going through and sorting through the crap in my life, there are certain things that I am still having a hard time resolving because of the fact that I am still missing something somewhere. Whether it is an explanation of sorts or whatever the case is, a key piece is missing from it in order for me to be able to let that thing go. There are certainly instances that I may never get to resolve an issue 100% and it's up to me to resolve things as much as I can on my own and accept the fact that sometimes, shit happens and learn to let it go despite the irresolute nature of the situation, but I digress. Some times, there just isn't a way to "logic and facts" a person who remains illogical and irrational. Doesn't mean I won't try, say what I need to and move on.

Swing and a hit!

I don't like personal space invasion perpetrated by strangers or people I don't like. Of course, there are those who know this about me and will do it anyway because they know that I feel all violated and stuff and it's a great way for them to annoy me.  I've found a way to deal with it.
SPAZ OUT. Swing around with an elbow or whatever and done. A VERY nice personal space bubble can easily be created in a very short amount of time if you are marked as one who is going to swing.
If I have to be around people, I might as well make it a sport and make the rules my own, especially if I have to deal with people.... :s

Bringin' the Mama Bear.......

There are very few things that are more frightening than a woman who has gone into "mama bear mode" over her children. I know that I have been guilty of this from time to time. The way things are going, it's hard not to want to get involved.
A parent is supposed to be their child's biggest advocate and when the cubs come and say they need help because they have a problem, THIS mama is ready for battle.
Many a time have I had to storm the schools, the playground, the houses of the kids who perpetrated some wrong unto mine. I ALWAYS mean business and I let it be known. It's probably the reason why the schools hate me and parents keep a wary eye out when I'm around. :sigh:
Oh well. My priority is my kids. I don't need friends. I have all the ones I need.

Parenting blunder?

So, my four kids were running around downstairs playing, making all the "pew, pew, pew!" and "kaboom!" noises. My three year old daughter says to my 13 year old son, "Kelly! I made you assplode!" 

Kelly: Abby, do you mean 'explode'.
Abby: Essplode?
Kelly: Uh-huh... ASSplode is what happens when you have diarrhea!

Is it wrong that I laughed?

Being the eldest....

I suppose being the eldest has GOT to suck sometimes.... The "If it fits, it ships" rule doesn't count when it's younger siblings you're trying to shove into the box.
I'm the youngest and I suppose I had it easy. Although it was kind of cold living in the shadow of someone who my parents thought was the perfect daughter and the ideal and someone I should strive to be. Of course, I had my own ideas.....
My eldest, being close to 14, lives with three younger siblings whom he "needs to set an example for" and I can tell sometimes that it gets to be a real downer for him. Although I try to let him do his thing, I am still his mother and cannot be his friend all the time. I still hold the title of "Parent" and I do have to act accordingly. Slowly but surely, we have been coming to more and more of an agreement and although we have a rough patches, things are going on swimmingly. I suppose it could be a lot worse, as I have seen and met some of his classmates and if they were mine, I'd beat the snot out of them and send them to military school the way they acted and treated other people. I guess I'm lucky in that respect.
My boy also treats his siblings quite well and although he gets annoyed with them and gets angry, he's actually quite good to them and so I have no complaints there either. I suppose things could be a lot worse.
Considering what his life has been like for the last few years and the different changes that he himself has gone through, he's turning out to truly be someone that I am quite proud of. He still has his moments, but I have to say, he is one VERY cool kid.

RAWR!

My sweet little "mini me" daughter is now on this "I'm a big scary monster!" kick. It's hard to take seriously, but you have to pretend that you're frightened or she gets very upset. Her tiny little self stomping around all monster-y and "RAWR!"-ing is almost too cute, but it's not because she's trying to be scary.....
It's so cute! Don't tell her I said that!

How did you manage that????

Kids can get themselves into the most DAMNEDEST of situations.... Sometimes I wait around for the explanation. Other times, the situation is just SO beyond explanation that I really end up not wanting to have heard the explanation. Being the parent, however, requires me to have to ask, "What the heck happened here?"
I have probably unstuck my children's heads from more things than humanly possible (as I don't really know what possesses a child to stick their heads into things), gotten unstuck a hand, a foot or something else from other places (as I have no clue as to why they would stick them in there in the first place) and have re-combobulated and reoriented my children from various situations that defy the simplistic explanations (Um.... It just happened) that they try to give. :sigh: Momhood...... I'm gonna start taking pictures of their "situations"..... I think it'd make a great family photo album one day.....

Sunlight.....

My dear sweet Puppy Guts still has such an aversion to sunlight. His lily white ass (having worked midnights for so long) has grown so sensitive that he gets sunburn when he goes outside in the sun for even just an hour, even during the winter. His day glow whiteness even glows in the dark when he's running around in just his shorts. It's kind of amusing...... I love you Puppy Guts! :mwah: XOXOX

Time OUT!!

Time outs have their place in child rearing, but not when their rooms are all decked out with a laptop that has internet and a TV with a dvd player and blah...
Pfft.... If time outs were like THAT, I'd do everything in my power to be on time out all the time!
We have what is called the time out chair. It's a comfy enough chair in a room lacking in any kind of visual stimulus that may distract a child from the task at hand, which is to think about what they did. It works out for the most part I guess, but it's in talking over the events that led them to the time out zone that makes the difference. Just because a child is put into the time out... well, it doesn't end there. As a parent, it is important to discuss with the child WHY he or she was put into time out and discuss all the reasons why the behavior was improper and how the behavior will not be tolerated. It's hard sometimes because I think we expect too much from our children. But in order to raise resilient and upstanding children to become resilient and upstanding adults, it takes that little bit more and we should expect just a little bit more. I really don't see the harm in raising the bar just a little bit each time so that eventually, the children will start doing it for themselves. Not too lofty, but never settling for mediocre but trying to seek out something a little bit better each time.
Child rearing ain't for the weak of heart or mind, but I can guarantee that it's worth every effort you put in. For them and for you. I hope mine will see that some day..... In the meantime, I play the role of the bad guy who doles out time outs.... :s

Happy Valentine's Day!

Dearest Puppy Guts,
Happy Valentine's day to you! I wish I had the words to express to you just how much you mean to me. How much you've made such a difference in my life for the better. How comfortable I am in telling you everything and sharing intimate details of my life past, present, and future. How much I cherish the time we spend together and knowing full well how much I am missed when we are apart.
I love the way you lift my spirits when I am feeling down, how just the sound of your voice makes me feel like I'm home safe, how much laughing with you can be such an uplifting experience. The way you know just what to say or how the way you look at me can mean so much more than words alone could convey at some times. The way that one look speaks volumes and means so much more than the words that could be spoken in that moment could mean. The way you know just when to say the words and know just when not to.
When I'm with you, it feels like all is right in the world and everything in the universe is right where it's supposed to be and the way you make me feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.  I love those moments when regardless of what's going on around us, there's that brief fleeting moment when it's just you and I alone in the universe and I have peace. I feel like it is something of a gift every time you tell me you love me. The things we have, the things we do, the things we share, the things we hope, dream and are working to achieve. I can't imagine having anyone else at my side as we move forward. It's an amazing feeling not to have to think, "This is it??!?? This is the best I'm going to get?" when clearly, you give me all and every day gets better and better.
I can only hope that I will be able to show you in this lifetime that you are all these things to me and so much more. I know that I'm the one who calls you "Lucky", but somehow I think that I'm the lucky one.
I love you with everything that I am, with every fiber of my being. Thank you for being mine. Thank you for being you. Thank you for loving me being me. You mean the world to me. Always.... XOXOX

Shared stupid witnessing.....

There are certain times when I am quite thankful that I am not the sole person witnessing somebody's fail because all the witnesses can commiserate together or laugh out loud together and woe in the fact that we share the planet with these people.....
It's hard to imagine sometimes just how much stupidity there is in the world until you actually witness some of it in real life.  I mean RIGHT THERE, up close and personal. It's really rather depressing if you ask me. Being able to share the experience with someone else sometimes makes it easier because at least then you KNOW that there is someone else who's thinking the same thing as you. Then there's like a "phew" moment because at least you're not crazy thinking that it's a scary thing....
Ugh..... Hell..... Hand basket..... And they're all being driven by the stupid.......

What the fuck is the deal with internet arguments??!??

What the fuck is the deal with internet arguments? Heated debates with nameless/ faceless people that get totally out of control..... And of course, there are times that I totally get sucked into them and find myself getting equally revved up over whatever issue we're debating/ arguing about. Then when I get fed up and walk away, I wonder what the fuck it was that got me so heated up to begin with.

Some of the ones that get me are the religion arguments, law enforcement basher posts and random misinformed stupidity that turns viral because sheep repost thinking it sounds good, when in fact, they have no idea what they're supporting or even talking about because of the half cocked natures in which they jump on board with a random and stupid idea. I try to be as non biased as possible and try to base my arguments on facts rather than emotions and rationale instead of my feelings about what's being debated about. What I hate is posing a logical question about a person beliefs or the stand they took and it getting deflected and avoided all together. I love posing the same question over and over on the same thread and having people see how often the question gets deflected too..... It sort of stands to prove my point and makes the opposing argument look rather weak when I can lay out facts and logical explanation rather than the standard, "BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

So off I go to cause some trouble somewhere and watch the sparks fly while I enjoy a nice cup of coffee. This ought to be a hoot!

STILL trying......

In my never ending quest to try and take over the world, um.... you know.... still....
Well, it's an on and off thing. The more I see what's going on in the world outside my four walls, (locally and globally), the more I think that world domination by me would be a super fantastic thing. Obviously, my idea of idealizing the world is different from others' ideas, but none the less.... My ideas would be a lot better than what we have happening now. I am still aware of the fact that no one should have that kind of power too. Ruling the world? Come on. On the flip side of that, I would make such changes that would shake up the system of things that we have going right now and the bologna rule would apply. Keep throwing bologna against the wall and eventually, something sticks. I mean, with that kind of power too, eventually, the ruler of the world would get over thrown, no doubt. But by the time that happens, changes would already be in place and maybe something positive would have come from it, until the next person came along and added to or subtracted from it. A constantly changing set of laws and junk stuff until eventually that falls to pieces and everything needs to be razed to the ground and reconstructed from scratch once again.
Ahhhhhh..... World domination needs to be mine. I'm telling you. The world would be a better place.... For me, anyway......

EW......No.

I'm not exactly a looker, but I'm also not one of those people you would shield your children's eyes from and go screaming while running away either. I just don't get men who do the "Hey baby!" routines.... Ew.
I wonder if it ever works for these guys? I mean, honestly? How desperate a woman must be to respond positively to that..... Ugh. Still, I don't really understand the male psyche in that regard. Boys are so stupid and icky! :s

Some people....

Most people I come across, I can have a conversation with and whatever. I function. Some of those people, I will become friends with and we hang out and whatever too. Then there are those whom I've come across that their mere presence alone will raise the hairs on the back of my neck and make me want to be a little less than cordial. I can't always put my finger on why I feel that way, but it's something and it happens. I don't know why. I've been trying to reason out with myself whether it's polite to just tell a person, "It's not me, it's you..." or just kind of grin and grit my teeth and bear it. I've gone either way and have tried both, depending on the person I was dealing with, but still. I would think it more polite to let a person know exactly what you thought of them up front and move along then having to deal with someone you really don't want to be around (unless you HAVE to). It probably makes things easier for a person that you don't know too well that you don't really dig on their groove from the get go before they invest any kind of anything in you and they can move along too. I probably give these things way more thought than I really should, which is very typical of me and I suppose "par for the course", but just another nugget rattling around inside my head.

If you're gonna do it.....

If you're going to do something, it should be done right. This is a principle that should be applied across the board. Whether it is a job, a task, a chore or whether it is having fun, playing, living, fighting, loving. It should be flat out balls to the wall.
The battles that we fight in life should especially be this way. I'm not talking about the little things. I am talking about the BATTLES that we have to deal with in life.
Life sometimes brings about hardships and woes that seem daunting in task and hopeless. That is when it is most important to put on the big girl panties and hike up the pants and bring the fight to a whole new level and fight to win.
I have been faced with some harsh blows over the last couple of years, but it seems that I have muscled through them and although they didn't end ideally, I still came out on top. And it would seem that there are a few more battles left for my on the plate before I go onto the next plateful of shit I have to deal with. So, the dawning of a new day and some issues to resolve. Bull by the horns and yada yada. :cracks neck and stretches: I'm ready.

Revenge....

Exacted revenge is only really satisfying for like the first fifteen minutes, then the novelty sort of wears off.... At least that's my opinion. I think the amusement comes more in the planning and plotting of someone's downfall than anything else. I mean, once it's done, it's done and that's it. No more anything. It reached it's peak and fizzles out. It's not to say that I won't keep my plans of revenge on the shelf to be brought out at a later date.....

Lazy TV days.....

Yes.... I too suffer from the occasional lazy TV days. A water bottle or two, a bag of some sort of junk food and remote, dressed in jams and a bathrobe, fuzzy slippers and fluffy blanket of doom. Vege-d out on the couch for an all day marathon of couch potato-ing. I usually get sucked into a marathon of some show that I had never even heard of and it goes south from there. :sigh: I need to find a new hobby.....