Hey fans and not so fans....

Okay Boo Boos..... Here's the deal-y..... I have some life things that I have been attending to, and they are now requiring my FULL and undivided attention at the moment. Now, don't y'all fret and don't y'all frown! I will make a triumphant return with glorious, insightful, witty, intelligent posts (well.... not really....) again really soon. In the meantime, go on and read back through.....

Here are some of MY faves.... (Yes, I realize that I "favorite-d" my own blog posts..... ): There's THIS one or THIS one about yours truly,  or THIS gem, my PLANS to take over the world, some helpful ADVICE, some serious THOUGHTS, some insight into the inner machinations of my MIND, insights into my FAMILY, my thoughts on FOOD, MARRIAGE, TRAFFIC, LIFE, some LESSONS I've learned, how life can be CRUEL at times, and sometimes NOT. There's a whole shit ton of posts that basically range from poignant to inane, seemingly intelligent to absolute dribble, all depending on what my caffeine intake was, where on the scale my weirdness index was and how diminutive my attention span was.

I'll just be needing a little time off while I go deal with the world at large. Stay tuned and check back in, in a couple of weeks. And just in case I haven't returned by then, I wish y'all a happy <year end holiday of your choice>, and a big BAH HUMBUG from yours truly.

My evil plans....

If I let loose every one of the evil plans that I have hatched or whatever, the world would be fucked, I'd be public enemy number one, I'd have my own super cool theme song and a super cool action figure, and there would be an overpopulation of deadly, evil, mutant, ninja penguins running around all over the place. I mean, it's not like I have the means or the ability to be able to let loose any of my evil plans, but I'm saying, if I could and I DID, the world would be fucked....

It'd be cool to have my own super cool theme song and my own action figure though.....

Laughter......

Laughter truly is a great medicine..... I mean not a medicine for when you're feeling all puke-y and stuff, but when you're feeling miserable and grumpy and mentally worn down and psychologically spent. 

There really is something to be said about a good, SOLID, deep down belly laugh that has you gasping for breath and makes your sides hurt. That  small moment really can help to cure the blahs. It's a strange thing. Something so simple and yet can help sometimes with some pretty complex shit.

I mean I am pretty easily amused and most of the time, it's something pretty stupid or totally random or both that will set me off. Seriously! And then, once I really get going, I snort and guffaw, then I end up laughing so hard that no noise comes out, and I end up sitting there clapping like a retarded seal. I love that shit! Afterwards, things don't seem as bad as I thought and I am able to deal with things a little better. 

Simplicity has it's place sometimes and what's more simple than laughing to cure some of your woes? Just figured I'd share....

Happy Thanksgiving 2014

To all of our friends, family, stalkers, lurkers, peekers, accidentally stumbled upon-ers, creepers, sneakers, regulars and n00bs:

A safe and happy Thanksgiving to you and yours from us and all of ours! It's NOMMY TIME!

Rearing styles....

I get that everyone has different opinions about how to raise a child. I'm not talking about those psychopathic child beaters who molest their children or beat them up or kill them. I am talking about normal, sane  parents. It's funny when I meet a kid and can tell EXACTLY the kind of parents they have. Sometimes, parents really don't realize that they end up feeding their paranoias and phobias and crappy behaviors and whatnot to their kids. The subtle or not so subtle nuances in their children's behaviors and demeanors are being shaped and molded by these parents.

You know the type of kids. They won't stick their faces in the water at the pool because maybe the parents aren't comfortable in the water.... Or the kids who complain about everything because they watch their parents do it. Kids with food phobias because the parents are so "ham and American cheese". The kids who aren't very sociable because the parents didn't socialize their kid. The kids who have the pretentious, uppity attitudes because their parents are that way. The racist little bastards being raised by racist big bastards. I could go on forever about this kind of shit. And sadly, you know what I'm talking about.

These are the parents that are afraid of letting their children "go out into the world and discover it for themselves". I'm not talking about letting your kids run amok and without any kind of supervision or "tether to home" or guidelines. I am talking about determining who and what they're supposed to be before they're ever allowed to discover that for themselves. It's not like I'm saying that kids should be without guidance and active parenting. Obviously, children need the firm foundations of what a good person is. Knowing the difference between right and wrong. Growing  up with morals and a conscience. Having solid rules, structure and consistency in their lives in order for them to grow up to be upstanding human beings of substance and proper nature is very important. That comes from active parenting. But not SO many rules and structure that it kills the very thing that you're trying to nurture. Paranoia in the parent breeds paranoia in the child. Whatever the parent harbors, the children feed from. If the parents are greedy, spoiled pieces of shit, the children will become that. THAT kind of shit, I will beat out of my children all day, every day. I'm not going to tolerate whiny, bitchy, malicious behavior. What I am talking about as far as being nurtured are the behaviors that actually make them who they are. What sets them apart. What makes them tick. What defines who they are. The little seed of whatever that eventually grows to reveal the person they become. I believe it to be my job to make sure that they are cared for, taken care of, nurtured, and shown how to grow strong and proud. I've taken it upon myself to make for DAMN sure that they do.

It's a balancing act at best and of course the need for structure and consistency, but being able to bend and flex without compromising the integrity of everything. It's a very careful balancing act. They're children and you can't blame them for what you turn them in to. Fat children can't be blamed for being fat. They're fat because they're taught nothing of nutrition and healthy body weight. Spoiled, whiny, bratty shits can't be blamed for being as such. They were taught to be that way. Hateful little creatures are hateful because that's what they're surrounded by. Fearful, pansy assed pussies are that way because that's what they see... It goes on and on.

All parents have an idea of what they want their children to be, but do everything to turn them into the exact opposite of what they wanted by feeding their children their own fears or laziness, or hate or paranoias or whatever and it's rather disgusting. What makes it worse is when those parents say they're "disappointed" when it's the parents' fault for making them that way..... With that being said, children are still just children. They're going to do stupid things and fuck up from time to time. They're kids. That's how they test boundaries and discover things and see for themselves. Experience is going to be a better teacher in a lot of cases than just being told about something. But if the foundations are laid out properly and the kids have a solid grasp of the things they need to have been taught, it becomes more of a lesson learned than an absolute disaster when it does end up being a fuck up.

Every day brings a new adventure as a parent and active parenting is the way to rear children. Not making excuses for them for fucking up and NEVER for your own inactions and turning them into what they are. I suppose when a generation is being raised by electronic devices and cable and video games and nourished by microwavable junk food and pink slime meals and the children's every whim is being catered to because the parents are just too fucking lazy to get up off of their own fat asses to actually rear their kids, my voice and my opinions can seem rather ridiculous, which is the reason why I have to make sure that I speak even louder and clearer and show with actions, especially to my own children and make sure that they are not strayed into the unknown.

Moral Obligations.....

What are the moral obligations of the average person? How many of us really give thought to this question on any given day? My opinion is: Isn't it something that we should consider all the time? The hard questions like, "What would I do <in this situation>?" or "Would I be prepared to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING?"

If you were to ask people what they believe to be their "moral obligations", you're going to get a whole bunch of different answers. You may even get the counter questions of, "Well..... Doesn't it depend on what kind of situation it is?"

How many people would REALLY stop and take the time to step in on some kind of situation happening right in front of their eyes? How many people would actually "notice"? There have been so many "social experiments" regarding this "bystander effect". Where the fuck does "moral obligation" come in that people are going to react and DO something? This bystander effect is rather terrifying really. People watching something going on and thinking, "It's someone else's job to do something about it..." or the mind not reacting at all and people just walk on by like nothing was going on... This is happening all around us more often times than not. A friend of mine wrote an amazing article about this bystander effect. In it he talks about the most typical examples of this bystander effect. It's scary stuff actually.

Yes.... I might have actually been putting some thought into some of the posts that I have been putting up as of late. What can I say.... This is something that I think about all the time. Don't be shocked! There are times when I am thinking about things that don't involve bacon, farts, my dog, my Puppy Guts, my complaints and subsequent whining about perceived injustices in my own life and whatever other inane and stupid things that I babble and wordily spew about here on this blog. But, who hasn't thought about it? "Shouldn't someone should DO something about this!"

Let's back the fuck up a little bit, shall we? Isn't ANY individual defined as "someone"? There are certain times when time is of the essence and it IS just that individual. So, I ask the question again. What would be the "moral obligation" of that individual? Does that individual actually take action and do something or   should that individual "wait and hope someone else does something...." or just stand around and hope for the best or something. Is it such a terrible thing for people not to just want to help, but actually step in and DO SOMETHING? Sure. There are more people than not, who will pay lip service and say, "Of course I would do something!" Blah, blah, blah..... It's those very same people who are cowering in the corner or looking the other way when the shit does hit the fan. I've seen it happen more than once.

I try to lead by example and do. I know what my "moral obligations" are. Things within my own circle of me and mine to things outside my own circle and well beyond. I've stopped on the side of the road to see if another motorist needed help. I've grabbed kids by the backs of their shirts or jackets when they were about dart out into the street. I won't leave an animal that's hurt or in need of help and I've been in my fair share of nervous moments when things looked like things were going to get ugly, but of course, I couldn't bring myself to leave and in my head I was plotting out my plan of attack. I mean, it all turned out to be nothing, but still...

Humanity is teetering on the edge of morality these days instead of firmly planted in it. You know... the place where right is right and wrong is wrong. Nope, right on the edge where people make excuses for their behaviors, blame things on someone else or whatever. Self righteous douchebaggery happening left right and center and that's become okay. It's acceptable.... So therefore, most people walk around believing that they have no moral obligations to their fellow man because it's someone else's problem. That doesn't make you an asshole... Seriously? But BACON forbid that if it were YOU in that situation, well, people better get up off their asses and lend a mother fucking hand! And if they don't, they're assholes.

The problem is with people. They walk around with a gigantic entitlement complex, like the world owes them everything because they alone are so fuckin' special. Their only moral obligations are to themselves, despite who ends up paying the price for their selfish douchebaggery, whether it's friends, family or their own children. They are nothing more than weaklings who feel the need to bully others just to feel better about themselves. ... And I'm supposed to be impressed by this somehow? I don't fucking think so. What really cracks me up is that they are so wrapped up in their own little lives, they don't realize that others see the truth of what they are. And those blinded, when bombarded with truth, don't stay blind for long either. I mean who hasn't been somewhere and witnessed that smug, self righteous, pompous, elitist bullshit? And most of these people don't even have a cause to be this way. They're just egomaniacal ass hats with delusions of grandeur.... I hate people...

So, these very people even see past themselves long enough to help anyone but themselves (of course, they don't see it that way, but it is....), but say they would. "Don't you think I'd do my best?" No. When your best attempts are pathetic to begin with and half assed at best.... Meeting moral obligations? No. I don't think so. If you can't even think about it or act in order to do the right thing, you're nothing more than a sorry piece of shit with an excuse for everything.

The world is a shithole that's going to hell and the more I look around, it gets a little shittier every day..... And a little warmer too.... I can't wait for anarchy and chaos to start reigning supreme and a new world order comes. When it becomes "survival of the fittest" and it's a "me and mine vs. them" thing, we'll see if my "morals" are still intact, but in the meantime, I've still got karma to fix and I will continue to step in and meet my moral obligations.

Facebook....

Don't know what it is about the Facebook thing that can be so addictive, but there you have it. Millions of people loggin in and reading the statuses and postings and musings of other people who are going somewhere and doing something or making an announcement or whatever. You post stuff, you share stuff, you make friends, you de-friend, you stalk peoples profiles, you post pictures, you look at pictures, you put up a funny something, you start arguments and debates, you console, you comment, you say "hi" and poke, you wish people a happy birthday, you "talk" to people and communicate and all sorts of other stuff and more.... And with people all over the world, that quite honestly, in real life, without Facebook, you probably never would have met.  All of this would be impossible. Some of what you read is stupid, others informative. Some of it is inane or silly or funny or sad or happy or infuriating. You can share views and opinions on all manner of things. A virtual community that erased the lines of country borders and the miles between them. How fucking cool is that shit!

As cool as this Facebook thing is though, there is a darker side to it. I know. It's true of all things. It's unfortunate, but there you have it. Cyber bullying and general threats made to people because of race, creed, color, religion, belief structure, or even of an opinion made. You've got seedy people doing seedy things. Everything from starting hate groups of a person (or a group of people, or a whole entire race of people) to the "liking" and displaying of animal torture, child porn, rape and all sort of other things that would make the normal person's skin crawl.

I go back and forth trying to figure out if Facebook is a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, here I am communicating with people from around the world, and I think it's fantastic. I get to see the world through the eyes of the people who are actually living in the places I can only hope and dream of going to visit one day. We are able to share and exchange ideas and thoughts and opinions and pictures and communicate in a way that twenty years ago was unheard of.

Then you get the darker side. If those great things are true of "well intentioned" people, it's also true of those who aren't "well intentioned" too. Thinking about the kind of atrocious "information" that can instantly be passed back and forth between dreadful people.... It kind of freaks me out.

I can come up with so many reasons why Facebook is so fucking cool, but on the other hand, I can come up with so many reasons why it's not..... And my imagined reasons as to why it's not is sometimes MORE scary than the realities that Facebook has been known to be used for. I would LOVE to think that, in the near future, Facebook is going to deal with the more "unsavory elements". I can only hope and pray that these "unsavory elements" meet an untimely and horrible death. In the meantime, I have to weigh and measure the pros and cons of this Facebook thing knowing that I've met some AWESOME people that I get to communicate with on a very convenient venue, but also knowing that I may be supporting and enabling some VERY "unsavory elements" while doing so..... Food for thought people.....

Nugget of Smart.......

It isn't often that I impart any kind of knowledge or bestow some intelligent nugget of wisdom very often in my inane babbling and incoherent word spewing. This may or may not be one of those times. Whatever. Take from it what you will or take from it nothing and move along. Or make a retarded face and read the words, emphasizing what I've written with sheer stupidity. Whatever, but here it is anyway.

We have a world of information out there, right at our fingertips. There is a gigantic WORLD out there that I know I won't be able to experience most of. There are so many things that I have yet to learn, know about, hear about, read about, see, experience.... It gets rather frustrating sometimes when I think on it for too long. What frustrates me more are those individuals who are so close minded that they can't understand that there is a whole world out there beyond the four walls of their comfort zone.

It's a rather sad thing to see that there are so many people who are so afraid to step out of their comfort zones that they won't even try something that might make them uncomfortable or they find scary. Something as simple as trying some new food to something like experiencing something like bungee jumping or something. What's sadder still is that these people infect their children with these same fears, and yes, I do say "fears" because that's what it boils down to. Make any excuse you want to, it boils down to fear.

I have realized that there is so much more beyond the cookie cutter norm for me AND my children and as much as I would LOVE to be able to have them experience it all, my finances limits what I can do. But that isn't going to stop me. I'll do my best to give them all I can and feed them enough "different" stuff that they will start to hunger for it on their own and want to do it when they can do it for themselves.

In a time when we are so close to having everything so near, people stick to what's comfortable. Why? It makes it hard for people to see past themselves when they have no idea what's beyond their own little bubble. It explains the reason why people seem more self centered and conceited and so very ignorant. At least that's my opinion anyway...

A Piece of Paper......

I've been asked by several people about my relationship with Puppy Guts and when we were going to "make it official". My quick witted and smooth reply is usually, "Huh?" It's always the same thing: "Seriously! So, when are you guys gonna get married?", while I'm still left wondering about the "making it official" thing and what the fuck that really means. Um..... Because our relationship isn't already "official"? ....Because getting married is the only way for a relationship to be "official"? What... I'm not quite sure.

So, guess what! Yup. I stopped and gave this a little bit of thought. Of course I have my own ideas and beliefs about marriage anyway, but I needed to understand a bit more about the things rattling around in my head. I mean, it's not that I think the idea of marriage is stupid. I just think that some of the people getting married now a days are stupid because they're getting married for the wrong reasons. I also feel that the institute of marriage is somewhat of a joke these days. (Don't worry. I'm gonna explain this....) So, am I really missing out on something here? The conclusion that I came to:

I realize that the intentions of those asking me when Puppy Guts and I are getting married aren't bad when asking that question (for the most part) and they aren't doing it out of malice, but I do rather take offense to the whole thing. By who's standards is my relationship to Puppy Guts defined as "official" or not? Certainly not mine. To me, their definition of "marriage" is just a piece of paper. That's the difference. It's a piece of paper. That's all it really is. Well, at least the "marriage" that they are referring to. Maybe it's that I am quite jaded, but there it is.

What did that piece of paper really mean when I was legally married. It did not a marriage make and it ain't worth shit now. It's like it never really existed at this point. It was a barely functioning, sorry excuse for a marriage that did neither one of us any good. Neither one of us was able to be what we needed for each other. It's not like we could count on each other or fit our pieces together and incorporate them into a working unit, which is what a REAL marriage is. We couldn't be what the other needed. A piece of paper doesn't and couldn't make any of that happen. It does no amount of good and only complicates things because the government gets involved and fouls up what ever DOES work and turns it into something useless. It winds up being just a piece of paper, that complicates everything. It seems that when you throw this piece of paper into the mix, what does it really change? A crappy relationship stays crappy. A non- functioning partnership remains non-functioning. If it didn't work well before, this piece of paper isn't going to make the difference! And trying to base a "marriage" on attaining this piece of paper? It ain't happening. The "relationship remains the same PLUS you have this useless piece of paper that really doesn't mean too much of anything except to lawyers and the government.....

The relationship that I have with my Puppy Guts works on levels far beyond what the cookie cutter marriages/ relationaships have, simply because we don't like to stay "complacent" in some stagnant comfort zone. We strive to go and do something that will bring something fresh into the mix that we can talk about and play with some more. I'm not talking about the sexual aspects of what we do. (Although those are fantastic and very physically demanding and always end up going to the point of one or both of us passing out...) Our lives are a lot more broad and wide than I could ever put here in any single post. It isn't based on "well, despite what you are...", but based on "because of everything that you are." It always HAS been. We love the fact that our partnership is constantly growing, changing and strengthening. We actually have the real foundations for what a "marriage" is supposed to be and it has nothing to do with some piece of paper.

And it's not that piece of paper that is going to define what my relationship to my Puppy Guts is. If it's a matter of just making a commitment and "exchanging vows" of sorts and stuff like that, that was done a long time ago. I mean, let's define what a marriage is supposed to be: It is about two people who are deeply in love with each other, are deeply committed to one another, and where there is no one above. Two souls, mated with each other, the missing half of the other without whom which neither can be whole. It's about something beyond what an outsider can break apart. It is a deep understanding of your counterpart, a solid partnership between two kindred spirits based on unconditional: trust, love, commitment, and understanding. It is about a bonding between two people that shows in everything that they are, do, and take on, done together in a functioning way, finishing any job well so that the next steps can be taken. It is about being able to communicate with your other half on a level far beyond what others have and understand that makes their relationships work. It is what many "legal marriages" lack at every turn simply because those very basic foundations are not there. Marriage shouldn't be about some ritual or some piece of paper and that is certainly not going to determine whether our relationship is "official". Ours has always been official and always will be official regardless of that piece of paper.

Moving on: Marriage isn't a random colliding of two people who think, "Yup.... This'll work...." and have it settle into routine and ultimate complacency that leads to something resembling a stagnant swamp. Growth and changes are constantly needed in order for this complacency not to happen and two kindred spirits should be happy to meet every challenge together no matter what they are doing. It has to be done far beyond just "good" and it has to be "totally", it has to be complete.

Marriage is a partnership, a commitment, a functioning and working relationship. It is not a complacency or a comfort zone, but a passionate and loving togetherness that transcends everything else you've ever had in a relationship. Marriage is a trust, a bond, a love, and an end all, be all. It is an every day celebration that begins and ends in love. I'm not talking about the rainbows popping out of my butt and flowers and sunshine and magical unicorns prancing around with fluffy baby ducks and pandas. (Yeah.... Because I'm all about THAT kind of shit...) Actual work is involved in making it all work, but when it is a true "marriage" it isn't really so much "work" and it comes naturally and easily.

Marriage or vows being exchanged isn't about what gets said before God and family and friends. It is the complete and total commitment that brings forth everything that these two soul mates are and meshing them into a whole unit capable of working individually, but can also function as one unit when working together. This should be true of every aspect in the relationship, in and out of the bedroom, from communication and discussing things from a misunderstanding to what the future holds and how they are going to get there and everything in between. Words don't mean anything unless the intent behind them is true. This is most very true when it comes to love and relationships.

Just because you say "vows" before "God, friends, and family", does it make that "marriage" real if those words are merely only a facade? If the words are just the "lip service" because of some archaic and outdated ritual, and they really don't mean anything beyond that moment, what was the point of going through it? And to bring it back around, what the fuck is that piece of paper really worth then? What did those vows mean if the intent wasn't there? Just following tradition and making it look good? Going ahead with it because people expected you to do it? It just seemed like the right thing to do? Because you wanted the fanfare and the attention? Yeah. That's a great foundation for what is supposed to be a life long commitment. And all based on obtaining that piece of paper? Pfft.... Very hollow and very shallow... No wonder some "officially married" people are unhappy if that's what they based things on. Eventually, that falls to pieces too and then what are you left with? A piece of paper saying that's it's "official"? Believe me, the hindsight on that is ALWAYS 20/20 or better.

So, to answer the question, am I gonna get married again and "make it official"? As far as both Puppy Guts and I are concerned, based on everything that our relationship is, we already are and we already have. Thanks for asking.

Happy Halloween 2014

Hurray! I's Halloween! I'm sure we'll have our share of ghouls and ghosties, princesses and super heroes, plushie animals of all varieties, all dragging around weary parents who are dreading the inevitable sugar rushes that these children will be experiencing once they've dumped out their loot on the kitchen table and dive into the candy they got......

Have a safe one, all! Happy Halloween!

Mischief Night 2014

Yeah, I'll be leaving the outside lights on tonight. :sigh: mischief night...... Idiot teens, filled with piss and vinegar, running around salting lawns, shaving creaming mail the insides of mail boxes, and toilet papering trees and houses.....

Air softs at the ready, preparations being made. Let the games begin.

The five stages of being stuck in traffic.......

There are the "five stages of grief" when dealt a life changing something that people will go through, but it can also be true of that moment when you realize you are about to be stuck in traffic. 

The first stage is DENIAL. It is the "It's okay..... This isn't happening. It's nothing..." Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. Denial can be a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation all together. Denial is a defense mechanism and some people can become locked in this stage. It's weird. It's when one will push back their plans by a few minutes and whatever and don't give it another thought until...

The second stage: ANGER. It is the, "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?" "What the fuck? Just use the small skinny pedal on the right and drive asshole!" stage. Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue any longer. The reality of the situation becomes a bit more evident. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to talk due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy of the lane that's creeping ahead a little faster than the one you're in. Most people's outstanding talent of cussing and excessive use of the "F" word really shines through at this stage and the horn on the car sees a lot of serious use. You hate everyone, you hate everything and everything sucks. This stage gets revisited quite often.

Then we come to the third stage. BARGAINING. "If I can just get passed this, I promise not to drive too much like an asshole any more!" "If I can just get over into the lane that's moving, I promise to let two other people in front of me!" The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow move faster, even though everyone is at a standstill or is creeping along at the same slow ass pace. Usually, the negotiation for "the moving lane" is made with a higher power in exchange for reformed driving style or even some kind of major life change or some impossible good deed. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I am gonna be here for a while, but if I could just do something to get to where I need to be just a little bit faster..." and includes some favor that makes the bargainer feel as if a fair trade is being made in exchange for movement in a lane.  "I'll even turn down the radio a little...."

Welcome to the next stage: DEPRESSION. This is generally when head bashing on the steering wheel comes in or openly weeping and sobbing as you do the little dance behind the steering wheel to see around the car in front of you in order to see whether there is any end in sight to the on road nightmare you slipped in to. During the fourth stage, the person stuck in traffic begins to understand the certainty of being stuck behind everyone else. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse to talk and spend much of the time crying and face palming. This process allows the person stuck in traffic to disconnect from things like being late or hopes of every getting to their destination. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage lest they slide back into ANGER. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.

The last stage is ACCEPTANCE. "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it so, I may as well just sit and listen to some jams." In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with the fact that they are stuck in traffic, and so is everyone else. They will take the bursts of forward momentum as a great thing and may start to feel short bursts of happy moments, no matter how fleeting. 

Of course there are always backslides and skipping around and revisiting one or more of the many stages here as traffic can be rather unpredictable and add to that the many varieties of assholes that you always happen to get stuck with in traffic with..... :s Pfft.... Any way you slice it, traffic sucks. 

Cycle of Frustration.......

Step 1.) Being dog tired and planning on going to bed early. 
Step 2.) The time you actually get to bed and counting how many hours of sleep you're gonna get. 
Step 3.) Bargaining with yourself and begging and pleading that you go to sleep...... 
Step 4.) Realizing the minimal number of hours of sleep you ACTUALLY get, which is not even close to what you wanted or counted on....... 
Step 5.) Repeat. :s

Super powers.....

I really don't give a shit who the hell you think you are or what the hell you do now, but there came a point in your life where you tried to see if you had super powers of some kind or another. Some imaginary something or another or an inkling or a hope or a thought or a belief or something that triggered this need to find out whether you were capable of some kind of super power..... On some level, all of mankind is all the same.... Just like empty Christmas wrapping paper tube. It's a sword.  It's universal. There are some very universal truths. Beyond any of that though it all just goes to hell, doesn't it.... Shame about human nature. It makes us all pretty shitty. Between ego, one's own beliefs, a sense of some type of entitlement, self serving, selfish, self centered blah blah blah..... Throw in government, religion, race and a healthy dose of fearing change and differences and poof! The sum of what human nature has become. I wondered quite often where it was that we went wrong, but quite honestly, the only real opinion I can come up with is that this failed experiment that we call humanity is just a funny joke. It's not to say that there haven't been outstanding people among us. But if you think, on the whole, we have war and strife and hunger and suffering. We have murder and rape and child abuse and animal cruelty. We are killing ourselves, killing each other, killing our environment, killing our planet.... And what of it? We fight to have just our own individual voices heard and it ultimately means nothing because quite simply put, the selfishly motivated bullshit spewing out of one person's mouth is nothing different than what's spewing out of another. The self serving agendas are just different.
I wish for a time when things were simple and I wasn't so jaded and the world still held hope and was full of awesomeness. And as much as I try to stay away from the mainstream media, (which is all slanted and skewed to meet someone's agenda anyway) what's going on in the world seems to trickle into mine and no matter what filters I put up to try and get a break from what's going on, I still come to find what's going on in the world and it's depressing.
The one super power I really wish I had was to be able to stop time. Maybe have it keep going for a few selected people, but otherwise, just stop. Surely, it would continue on after I died and the world can go on back about its business heading towards wherever it is its going and done. Ya know?
Something huge is coming and it don't look good.....

Farts.....

I'm not really sure why, but flatulence amuses me. I don't know whether it's the silly sounds, the fact that it offends the sensibilities and well, EVERYTHING out of most people and it's a very antisocial thing to do.... Whatever.
There is also something very endearing to me about passing gas. If you think about it, the people that you most love, for them to feel comfortable enough around you to let one loose.... Come on! That's love. Granted the aftermath of said anal statement may be something left to be desired.... Like after hot wings and beer the night before and scrambled eggs and toast at brekkies, hot dogs at lunch and beans for snack..... Then maybe perhaps that love can be felt on the inside and you can vocalize it with your mouth instead..... And don't even try to pretend like you've never had one of those super long farts that changed pitch a few times and burned the hair out of your nose and peeled the paint off the walls and made the dog run away and made you not want to be your own friend any more.... You know you have. Shut up. Yes, you have.

"Trophy Wife".......

The term "trophy wife" has always bothered me. Not because of the misogynistic undertones or whatever, but because, I mean, what the hell is it? I mean, what are the qualifications for being this "trophy wife? I mean, when you think of trophy, you think "prize" right? So, obviously, this trophy wife ought to be a fucking awesome thing, right?  So, if someone is marrying someone else, shouldn't it be because they got the prize? Wouldn't every wife then be the trophy wife to their husbands?

I mean, a "trophy wife" is supposed to be some young chickie with "enhanced" body parts, who's good looking and makes you look good as your arm candy accessory, fucks like a machine, all orifices, in an order that would surprise you,  and you would have to provide adequate housing, spending money, and stuff in order to keep her around until her looks fade, otherwise, she'll move onto another schmo who can provide "a better life" for as long as she looks pretty... So, she's basically a fake, gold digging whore..... Hmm......

I don't know why I find the term so offensive really.... I'm probably over thinking this whole thing and blowing it WAY out of proportion. I'm on my period. I probably just need to go finish off the cookie dough I left in the fridge. Yeah.... That's it.

Epic WINNING!!!!

You KNOW it was an awesome fart when your Bae adds the subcategories "texture" and "hardness" with a Moh scale number under the category of "aroma". Apparently, even from across the room, it hit him in the face like a brick and it felt gritty as he choked on it.

It a gift. 

Um.... wow.....

I am not exactly the most fashion conscious person in the world. I go with the tried and true, timeless look of jeans and a shirt. No matter the occasion, jeans and a t- shirt. Done. They're clean, I'm wearing it, done. My pop makes fun of my fashion choices.... (This coming from the man who once used to sport that Michael Jackson leather pants and jacket with all the stupid zippers on it..... In public......).

I think that old age is starting to rot my pop's brain, but his really good outfits are pretty um...... Special.  He has a pair of zebra striped sweat pants that he wears often.... In public..... (It gets "better".....).

He has shirts of all different colors and prints and patterns including paisleys and plaids.... Dark socks that he will wear with sandals, and a blue baseball cap with a Canadian flag on it. All of which he will put together with the aforementioned zebra striped sweatpants.... In public.... (No.... Wait. There's more.).

He has a very happy sunshine yellow windbreaker type jacket that he likes to wear, with his plaid or paisley shirt, his dark socks and sandals, his blue baseball cap with the Canadian flag on it.... All matched up with his aforementioned zebra striped sweatpants..... in public.... (No.... It STILL gets "better".....).

My pop shuffles, pulls his pants (yup, the zebra ones) up as high as they will go and he wears lightly tinted sunglasses with rhinestone accents on them..... wearing his happy sunshine yellow windbreaker type jacket over his plaid or paisley shirt, his dark socks and sandals, his blue baseball cap with the Canadian flag on it.... All matched up with his aforementioned zebra striped sweatpants..... In public..... :slaps forehead..... with a brick:

And he questions my fashion choices.... :s

Life's "little" problems....

It seems that some of the biggest problems usually start off as little things that weren't taken care of and were ignored until they became unmanageable and unfixable. It was true with a lot of things in my life. When I started addressing some of them, they were met with a lot of denial and of course, that made things worse. It really only further escalated the problem really. Addressing things when they're still small makes life easier. The unfortunate problem is when they're small, they don't seem like too big a deal and putting them off seems like a good idea. Sometimes we don't even see them at all.
Then, as they grow into still manageable issues, if they aren't dealt with swiftly, they turn into ordeals and it gets worse from there. I'm learning to  address things when they are still small scale or at least manageable. It's not always as easy as it sounds. Things need to be prioritized and in some cases, other sources need to be brought in, thereby making it necessary to rely on others in order for something to get done..... Grrr........ I hate that most of the time. But such as it is, sometimes I have to deal.
One little thing can have the potential to become such a large problem and I quickly learned that the hard way. In FINALLY having learned my lesson about that, I continue to make strides in positive changes that I've been needing to make in my life with this being one of them. Procrastination in not a good thing and it's nice to have the phone numbers of cops and a lawyer on speed dial handy.....

Fall clothes.....

We're starting to see the cooler weather in New England and it's time to start busting out the sweaters and sweatshirts and yummy fluffy robes and fuzzy slippers and gooey flannels and soft sherpa and oh so comfy fleece! YAY! I'm not quite sure why, but I love the fall clothes. Maybe it's because of the soft fluffy textures... maybe because of the comfortable yummy feel. Maybe it's just that the weather is not too hot, not too cold and fall just rocks out loud. I don't know. It's always a happy time of year for me when I get to go into the boxes and start pulling out all the warm fluffy goodness out of storage. My favorite sweater... My favorite sweatshirt.... My favorite slippers.... My favorite scarf..... My favorite lap blanket.... :sigh: Bliss!