Yucky feelz.......

Ominous = Hearing that distinct gurgle in the pit your stomach, somewhere in the lower intestines (you know, it almost sounds like your digestive tract gasping out a death rattle...), accompanied by an uncomfortable and unpleasant sensation, (imagine having your guts squeezed out of your ass, like a tube of toothpaste, except that the "cap is still on"...... )

PERHAPS I did "misread" the expiration date on that cheese, and perhaps "the funny taste" WAS an good indication for me to have stopped eating it..... Well.... Lets' just say, "Thank goodness for multiple bathrooms, baby wipes, and air freshener....."  That was one HELLUVAN interesting night.

The moral of this story is: There is a reason why some things have an expiration date. Heed them. And that funny taste becomes NOT funny after a couple of hours, praying for an end to the hell you are enduring, wondering what in the fuck possessed you to eat the questionable cheese....... Just sayin'...... 

Holy crap on a cracker!

In having dealt with the most UNBE-FUCKIN'-LIEVABLE week and change of flu HELL, I have got to say that I think we may have set some records here...
This bout of fevers-chills-aches-pains-coughing-sneezing-vomit-and-other-bodily-fluids fiesta single handedly kept the local 24 hour CVS in the black. I tallied up all the receipts from this fun filled party of illness... 3 bottles of NyQuil (Capital "N", small "y" BIG FUCKIN' "Q"!), 4 bottles of children's Advil, 2 bottles of children's Tylenol, a big bottle of extra strength Tylenol, 4 packages of toilet paper, 5 packages of baby wipes, 2 packages of diapers, 6 giant bottles of Gatorade, 14 cans of chicken soup,  25lbs of rice (bought at the grocery store next door), a humidifier, 5 bottles of medicated vaporizing steam liquid, 3 boxes of Kleenex, 2 cases of bottled water, 2 new DVDs, 3 spray bottles of Clorox household cleaner, 1 can of Lysol, 2 cans of carpet cleaner, a new thermometer, a thing of salt and tons of hand sanitizer (for all the good it did...).
This was all purchased in several trips out, but if I KNEW, I would have just gotten it all at once, just to be done with it... <Sigh!> Well, at least I can say that THAT adventure is done and dusted! What doesn't kill me will make me stronger, right?

I dropped my BACON SANDWICH!

It wouldn't have been so bad if it had just fallen. I would have just picked it up and eaten it and went about my business. Five second rule, right? But no, Otis smelled the bacon from his nap time spot and sat and waited... Sure, I threw him a piece of bacon, but I guess it wasn't enough...
That little shit made off with my sandwich and by the time I caught up with him, he had choked down the whole friggin' sandwich on the run! That's not the part that made me so sad, although it was bad enough that he made off with and ate my friggin' sandwich... It was cleaning up all the subsequent Otis Butt, liquid projectile from all the grease and fat.... Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad....

Another valuable lesson....

I know that I said, "Never EVER, I mean not EVER in forever ever ever feed a geriatric dog too many grapes after a dinner of left over tacos...
The resulting "accident" is bad... Very VERY bad...", but the combination of freedom fries (A.K.A. french fries), ice cream and chicken with hot sauce (all stuff he found on the floor around the table at supper time around the baby's seat) and his regular meal of wet dog food with kibble... Much worse. Much, MUCH worse... Both ends... Projectile... On tile AND carpet... And curtains...

A Valuable Lesson...

Never EVER, I mean not EVER in forever ever ever feed a geriatric dog too many grapes after a dinner of left over tacos...

The resulting "accident" is bad... Very VERY bad...