Sleep...

Sleep is something that we take for granted sometimes. When we have it, sometimes we complain it wasn't great or whatever. When we don't have it, we beg for even the worst night's sleep. When we can't sleep, there's the contemplation of what to do about it. Then of course the being sleepy during the day thinking, "Damn! I would kill to get a nap for like an hour!" and when the day is done and you're ready for bed, you can't sleep. <sigh...>
On the rare occasions that I do get a decent night of sleep, it's never really enough. It's hard playing catch up when you're down so far. One night of good solid sleep feels great but when you're not getting it all the time, it feels worse later. Or being roused in the middle of the night by something. The kids are one thing. Most of the time it's nothing, easily solved and they fall back to sleep within seconds, as do I. But if it's either the martyr or the cranky old git? Forget it. Drama ensues because something and nobody sleeps. It always turns out to be nothing, but still....
I do also have those nights when I have my Puppy Guts sleeping next to me. Hearing the gentle sounds of him breathing, feeling his arm around me as he's snuggled in close. Ahhhh.... Waking up to hearing him tell me he loves me as he gives me the goofy, "still warm and fuzzy from sleep" smile... Priceless.

Yeah... So?

I'm not saying that I accomplished much in my misspent life, but it's not to say that I don't like myself or who I am. Let's take the time to analyze this: I have four of the most awesome kids on the face of the planet who love me despite the fact that I'm a dork. If you count Lucky's kids, who seem to like me, I've got six. I've found my "other half", my soul mate, as it were, that has seen me through some pretty shitty times and some great ones, who allowed me to soar and held me close, who loves me for everything that I am and lets me know that I am his everything. I've managed to see a part of a ten year writing project come to fruition. I'm finally beginning to understand a lot of things in life, mostly in my own, that led me to be where I am now. Roller coaster ride? Absolutely. But I have no regrets.

I hear a lot about what my life should have been. Shoulda, coulda, woulda... Whatever. Not too much I can do about it. I keep moving forward because looking back really does me no amount of good. I hear about who I should be. Really? I'd rather be hated for who I really am than loved for someone that I'm not. At least that way, I know who really matters, who I need to hold close and know where it is that I need cut ties. I hear a lot about the negatives going on in my life, when I have so many things that are positives. Wallowing in negativity really does nothing for anybody anyway. I don't need the excess and I certainly don't want any excess in negativity.

I have the critics of my life and who and what I am, but I have fans too. I'm good with who and what I am even though I am still a work in progress, I can live with that. No one gets to dictate to me about who I'm supposed to be, where I need to get to and how I'm going to do it.

Pouting...

There are just some times, despite the fact that I try to be as consistent as possible when it comes to the kids, that I feel my willpower crumble and fall to the floor into a pile of dust. They feel one way about something and I feel another. It's not to say that they don't get their way all the time. It's not to say they get their way ALL the time. We try to find a certain balance between the two. Compromises need to be made all the time. They do try, however, to do the pouting thing when they just CAN'T have whatever they want when they want it. Yes, it causes the eye roll reaction and exasperated sigh on my part, but still...
It's hard not letting them have their way all the time. Although I would LOVE to be the good guy and give them everything that they ask for and let them do everything that they want, I KNOW that in the long run, I'd be doing them a terrible disservice and turning them into the very people that I have no respect for. So I stand firm and do the best I can. It sucks being the bad guy sometimes... I hope that one day, my children will see that it wasn't that I was being the bad guy, but I was trying to make sure that they turned into the kind of people that others will look up to and want to be. In the meantime... Yeah... Sometimes it sucks.

The interwebz...

The internet is a great source of entertainment, information and communicating with people all over the world. There are so many social networks that people are plugged in to and forums for discussions of every variety. It's awesome! Having an "argument" or "heated debate" with a nameless, faceless individual about a very hot topic is great. You both passionately argue your point and go back and forth with each other and all without fear of repercussion, rejection, loss of a friend, whatever. It's great. Some of my greatest "arguments" have taken place via the internet. I print them out and save them. I pass them around to people, I get other people's opinions about how my arguments and points that I brought up were, where they were valid and where they were not. It helps to make me a better "arguer". A good portion of the time, we have a great big laugh over it, sometimes it sparks another discussion. Discussions that lead to back stories and first hand accounts and facts lined up side by side. Lo and behold, some times light gets shone onto certain aspects that some believed to be invalid points until certain facts are brought into an unfinished equation. That's when real conclusions are able to be drawn.
I think some of the most fun I have are discussions about religion. It's sad to me that my being "unaffiliated", I know more about the certain aspects about somebody else's religion when they are supposedly "devout". Sigh.... I suppose it's easy to hide behind the cloak of the internet and talk a good game in the comfort and safety of the webz... Speaking up and out on a soapbox on the internet is one thing, but being able to do it in real life as well... THAT'S where it's at. So I do or I try to and in the appropriate venues. I bring the internet with me in the form of print outs and hone my skills of observation and debating skills. It's been quite enlightening for many involved. Heck, I've even brought along other sources of information and I've learned quite a bit myself and I'm still learning quite a bit.
There are so many broad topics out there in the world that can spark great conversations or debates. I won't be able to jump in on all of them, but I figure, if every day is supposed to be a learning process, I might as well keep filling my mind up with as much as it can take and keep on going. With the "net" it makes it so easy...

My spazosity...

The extent of my spazosity really truly knows no bounds. Sure, there are people who probably think, "She can't POSSIBLY be that bad!" No, it really is. My spaz factor is legendary in certain circles. It's not like I haven't tried NOT being a spaz. Watching my step or being careful or trying to pay attention to what I'm doing.... But for every one thing I try to put more focus on, the less another gets, making me somewhat more of a danger to myself and those around me. Sure! Of course there are moments in my life that I can actually function like a normal person. (It generally happens when I'm sitting still...) And my day to day is filled with going here, going there, my needing to be somewhere at some point during any given portion of the day. Yes, I suffer from bumps and bruises all the time. I don't think there is a day where I'm not sporting one somewhere... But I function.

I've lived with my spazosity all my life. I've learned to compensate a lot in order to make room for it. It's not to say that I won't try new things that take coordination and grace. Hell no. Life is about going out there and taking chances and going out and doing. Fear is another one of those things that prevent people from going out on their own and doing things. Sad. These people live their lives for other people for fear that they won't find acceptance or whatever else. TRUTH be told, it makes them a wee bit pitiable and sad. I'll not let something or someone dictate to me whether I am or I am not. And that goes for everything. In discovering quite a bit about myself over my lifetime, I am pretty happy with the way I'm turning out.

Hummus and other yucky stuff...

GAAAAAAAAAaaaK! I know... I know!!!! I don't know what it is about certain foods that give me the skeeebies... (The best description is hearing Lucky's dad say that eating yogurt is like eating a bad cold...) Hummus and peas... I'm sure that they are just lovely and wonderful in your world and very tasty and all that other crap. For me? NO. It's not to say that I don't try from time to time just to see if my opinions have changed.
I took a cracker and I dipped just the very tip into the hummus container and I put it in my mouth and I chewed... And I spit it out because I knew what it was.
The likelyhood of my being able to explain my  "-ness" to anyone about food in order for a person to truly understand me is slim to none leaning more towards none and slim being about a wide as the thickness of a piece of paper.  I'm just awesome like that.

Being polite...

Being polite sometimes means you have to suck things up and deal. You have to listen to what people have to say or at the very least, make it look like you are. For whatever reason, there are moments that you have to. I'm not one for making those moments too common and I like to be  as "to the point" as I can because I do not have the time to sit and listen to some idiot yawing on and on about something I really don't give a shit about. I'm just saying... I realize that I tend to be a little abrasive... (just "a little", Mia?) (Shh! MY rant!) but I do have the ability to curb myself at times appropriately and I do function in "civilized" society... The nod and smile methodology is what I use. So, if I'm nodding and smiling, but I'm not talking or responding and the vein in my forehead is visibly throbbing, it means I'm biting my tongue and I'm being "polite"... So, please... Just finish your "conversation", be done and be gone. You lost me the second you opened your mouth.

Weirdness....

What is "weird", anyway... I mean it is defined as being "of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange". So, why is it that I have to be  considered weird? I get that I may not be your "standard" American woman. I chose family before "career". I don't like "shopping", fashion... meh, jewelry... meh, shoes...meh... I speak my mind, I can drink, play and hang with the boys and feel comfortable, I own up to my own burps and farts, I don't think in the "standard way", I don't subscribe to a lot of the "new ideas" regarding everything, I do things differently... I have quirks out the wazoo, I'm an uber spaz, I have very dorky tendencies, when I find something extremely funny I laugh like a hyena AND I snort when I'm laughing too. I find the oddest thing to be amusing, I look like an idiot in pictures, I find myself in odd situations or at the very least witnessing odd situations. There is a laundry list of things that I suppose may qualify as being unusual, but do these traits make me weird? I say nay! They make me unique.

Exercise...

I tried doing the aerobics... Once...That didn't work. Neither did step aerobics, tai chi, or anything that involved ANY kind of coordination what so ever. It's not to say that I'm a fat, lazy, soft, flabby bastard. I get in exercise when I can and how I can. But doing the gym thing or going to a class and whatnot? Can't do it. I've tried, but yeah... No.
Yay for people who can go to the gym or go to a spinning class or whatever. Me? Nope. Can't do it. I thought for the longest time that it was because I had no discipline, so I gave that some thought. (Of course...) Sure I lack a little bit of it, but I sure do have enough of it to NOT slap some people upside the heads that I've come across who REALLY deserved it. I've gone through a book writing process once and will be taking on that project again in the near future. I have my routines and schedules which I stick to for the most part. I'm not downstairs nomming on the junk food and all the bacon.I do, however, have a problem with authority and people trying to tell me what to do, how to be, who to be and how I should do it.
I started traversing through a lot of inane topics after that since the attention span lacked the laser focus it has (on rare occasions), but it is something I thought about. The conclusion that I came to? I'll exercise when I can and it won't be conventional. Will I get the results of a gym rat? No, but I don't need to, don't want to and quite honestly, I don't have the time. Toned is just fine by me.

Pissed off...

I guess despite the fact that I've been trying like hell to not get so fuckin' angry about shit and crap, there are going to be times when shit is going to piss me off and I'm going to get angry about shit. I think I have the right to fuckin' get angry from time to time. Misplaced? I don't fuckin' think so. There are so many things that I suppose I should have been angry about or remained angry about. New path being what it is, I've been trying to let a lot of it go. So far, it's been working and I feel a lot better. There are times though, when it doesn't go that smoothly. A certain chain of events that singly may not have been so bad to deal with, but with them stacked up all together? Yeah... No. Will I work through it? Of course. I've found that taking the high road on certain things is a lot more rewarding in the long run. Is it easy? Well, yeah AND no... But never one or the other ALL the time. I'm a work in progress and letting things go is still an effort sometimes. It's not to say that I won't get my pound of flesh, so to speak. But there is a time and a place for come uppance...

And that means what to me?

I've been called a lot of things in my time and quite honestly, I'm sure I've been called worse. I let a lot of these things go and quite honestly, I am a bit too calloused to be affected too much about what people say about me to care too much of their opinions any more. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. I would truly be impressed however if these same people who criticize me could turn that critical eye on themselves and be harsh and honest about their own short comings and voice them out loud.
It's hard to look in the mirror and be honest about yourself. I get it. But at the end of the day, a strong person looks into the mirror, recognizes their shortcomings as a flawed human being and takes steps forward to do something about said shortcomings. THAT'S the important part. I may still be working on that bit, but I've come a long way. A lot further than most.
I'm a work in progress. I say it a lot and I suppose I won't ever get to a point in my life where I can say, "I'm done. I'm perfect just the way I am!" I know that there are many things that I can still change about myself for the better to be a better person. It's a slow and steady process. I'll get there... Just sayin'......
So go on about your sad little lives and speak what you will about me. You have my pity. Carry on. It's okay. You'll just have to pretend that I care.

Hey look! A chicken!

There are so many things that go on inside my head at any given moment, all the time, every day. It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't know what it's like. The constant bombardment of "noise" is something that I lived with for as long as I can remember. A good portion of the time, I am able to stay on task and do what I need to do. There are days find it very hard to focus on things simply because it seems everything distracts me from the task at hand. I eventually get the things I need to do, done, it just takes a little longer. Then there are days where "scatterbrain" cannot even begin to cover my issues. I lose objects, I lose my trains of thought about everything even mid sentence, my conversations seem almost non-coherent because I skip from one subject to another and if I'm talking to someone who doesn't know me, I sound like a babbling idiot. Shiny things and fast moving objects snag my attention, my brilliance runs into overdrive and then I get the bouts of insomnia. The O.C.D. makes it all worse because I tend to obsess on certain ideas, thoughts, concepts, songs, pictures, whatever and then, it gets worse from there.
I know I covered this in a post, and what it's like to live with my brain but strangely, it seems there are those who still don't quite "get it" and find the need to make fun of or make light of it or even try to tell me that it was all in my head and that there isn't a problem, get over it. "But they make a pill for that, you know..." Yes, I do know, but it also changes everything that makes me who I am. It chemically alters your brain and changes your personality. It stops the flow of this and and increases the flow of that. It blocks this and blocks that. We live in a society that is over medicated. Seriously. And I've spent enough time having someone trying to tell me who and what I was supposed to be, who I was expected to be. Bite me.
I'll keep my "issues" thank you. I've lived with them all my life and quite honestly, I think I'd be at a loss without them. I still manage to function, proficiently. I still manage to get everything that I need to get done, done and well. And my quirks set me apart from the crowd. We've already got too many dime a dozen, wannabe/ wish they were, cookie cutter clones walking around in their pathetic little existences in their little bubbles. I like who I am.

The "club"....

Exclusivity seems to be a trend... It follows through the school years, all throughout college and beyond... "You're not part of 'the club' so you wouldn't understand..." I never really got that. I think that it is the diversity of a group that makes for a great time. How fun is it really when you have twelve of the same person in a crowd? I would rather think that it would just be stupid and boring. I might as well sit home and have an intellectual conversation with my reflection in a mirror... Diversity makes for more stimulating conversations. When you have a group of people from different backgrounds, different political standpoints, different ideals, different belief and religions. Someone who will say, "That's fucked up and these are the reasons why..." or "I agree with you on this point, but I disagree here because of these reasons..." It opens up a dialog that can be deeper than your standard, "I know! I totally feel the same way because that's what you said and I would have said the same thing!" You learn more about yourself, your friends and about the world in general because it may open you up to something you may not have even thought of. Then, me being who I am, I will go out of my way and find out more, learn, discover, uncover... Whatever. Simply because I want to know more.
We've got our own "club", me and mine, and it's not really "exclusive" so to speak. There are certain things and behaviors that we won't tolerate of course, but  for the most part, we've opened up the doors for everyone who wanted to cross the threshold. We talk about all manner of subjects and topics and we won't mince words if we feel passionately about something, but at the end of the night, there aren't any hurt feelings. Go figure.... I guess that's what it means to have a mature friendship...
Our club ROCKS more than yours!

Nomming...

Nomming IS a word. I don't care what anyone says.
Anyway, the act of nomming should be enjoyable. It shouldn't just be done because it needs to be. What's the point of nomming noms that you don't like or doesn't taste good?
Moderation is always a good thing. Obviously, it isn't a good idea to overdo anything and in excess, but then again, enjoying the noms and being an absolute pig are two very different things.
There's also different kinds of nomming. Nomming noms and nomming things like toes... Both are enjoyable. Nomming off other people's plates is always nommier than nomming off your own. Om nom nomming anything freshly baked is ALWAYS a bonus. Nomming is awesome. There is no negatives to nomming. Nomming is always a positive thing. Nomming while making the "Om nom nom..." noise is acceptable. In fact, I think when nomming, it is mandated by LAW in some places. Nomming nomable noms with nommy nom noms? Awesome...

Snugglies...

We may not have a lot and we'll probably never live an extravagant life, but I know that we will always have an abundance of love, passion, honesty, trust and snugglies.  I can share everything and be at my most vulnerable and still feel safe and secure with him and he feels the same way with me. He shows me incredible amounts of love  in an act of passionate ...um... private time, or within a single touch, the intent behind every whispered "I love you" or even a silent caress of the cheek is felt right down to my core. I am never in a want or need because he gives me all, every day.
Our time together is precious and we don't waste it with the trivialities of stupid things that would rain down negativity on our parade. Sure we talk about everything and share in the burdens of our woes from past baggage, present issues and worries of the future, but that's the way it should be. There are battles that need to be fought on our own, but knowing that we have each others backs with no fears, no secrets, no reservations and nothing to hide is actually kinda cool. I've never had someone understand me or know me better. EVER. Because of that, it makes our snugglie time better. Nothing but being zen in a blissful moment, at one with my Lucky, snuggled up on the couch or where ever and chillin'... Nice!

Whatevs!

I gave a long, hard look at some of the things that make me nuts. Not the good kind of nuts, but the bad kind. After careful analysis, I have come to the conclusion that letting things go has been the best way to deal with certain things. Letting go of certain burdens or baggage simply because there really was no point to carrying them any more. Dropping the bag of bricks.
I have several more that I keep lugging around, but slowly, the grip is slackening because I'm getting awfully tired carrying them around.
Considering how far I've come (and how far I've yet to go), it gets a little easier sometimes to let go of certain things. I'm getting there. You just wait and see....

A small happy...

A small little happy moment can make all the difference on an otherwise crappy day. This goes for anyone. I suppose I could walk away and leave and ignore someone to be miserable on their  bad day, but there are times when just the simple act of kindness from a stranger could make all the difference in the world for someone. Helping someone pick up their groceries after the bag rips open, helping some up when they've fallen down and asking them if they're okay, buying coffee for the Salvation Army bell ringers at Christmas time, buying some kid an ice cream at the ice cream truck because he didn't have enough money, or throwing change into an expired meter for the person who's parked there.... Whatever. It's that simple. What did it take away from you? A couple of minutes of your time maybe? There's an added benefit too. You may just end up feeling a little happy thinking you may have just made someone's day. A random act of kindness for a perfect stranger. I try to do at least one a day. Just saying...

What's with the cat?

So, the question finally came about... (I thought it might eventually...) "It seems like you see yourself as a cat... Most of your posts here and on FB, especially about you, have a picture of a cat... Why?"
Well, it's not that I see myself as catlike for most of the obvious reasons. Cats are broody and moody and will be super friendly and with one quick turn will become vicious and will lash out unprovoked because the mood struck them. But they are also sleek and agile, evil and cunning, ferocious and deadly. I see myself more as the tenth cat... Let me explain:
9 out of 10 cats will fall and land on their feet. I, much like that tenth cat, will land on my face.
9 out of 10 cats are natural hunters and are able to hunt down quick prey. I, much like the tenth cat, will hunt down the most comfortable place to sit or lay and may or may not stir unless food is brought directly to me.
9 out of 10 cats are agile and lithe. I, much like the tenth cat, am a spaz of biblical proportions and have been known to crash into walls and trip on my feet while standing still.
9 out of 10 cats are indeed evil and cunning. The evil part I may agree with, but I feel bad after a while and much like my counterpart, the tenth cat, cunning? No. I'm about as clever as navel lint.
As far as deadly and ferocious? Maybe on taco night... But that's a WHOLE DIFFERENT KIND of deadly and ferocious. I've been known to offend the dog and he ate poop...
Yeah... That's the explanation. It's not really that I see myself as a cat by standard definition... I relate to the tenth cat...
Oh... That and I am the Kittenpuddles to my dearest Puppy Guts...

Cats...

I don't know what it is about cats and dead things, but they love their little dead furry things. I had a bunch of feral cats in my neighborhood. Regardless of the weather, I always saw them wandering around. I started putting out boxes in the woods around the property and leaving the garage door cracked open just enough for them to sneak in especially when the weather turned bad. It worked out. I didn't have rodent problems at all and the cats had somewhere safe to crash out for a couple of hours from time to time.
The problem was the way they showed their gratitude... It was great that they wanted to, but I have to tell you, I really didn't like the "Let's see what the cats left for me on the front doorstep today!" game. It wasn't exactly one of my most favorite games. Sometimes they were dead furry things or scaly things, slimy things, feathered things... Sometimes they weren't so dead and still twitching or flopping around... A couple of times they were very much alive and either very confused or VERY angry...
The sucker that I am, I always called out, "Thanks guys!" before I got rid of the dead / not dead thing of the day. I'm really not sure if it was gratitude or if they were just fucking with me, but I like to see it as them being grateful... I'm just going to keep telling myself that....

Rules...

I swear on all things holy, there are times when I think my kids don't speak English and they resort back to the primitive non-thinking part of their brains making them behave like animals.
We have rules... I'm sure every household has certain rules in their homes too. With four kids, we have ones that help to maintain peace, order and balance. Just because the rules are in place doesn't mean that they are followed and there is always peace order and balance, but none the less, the rules are in place.

Most of the times, it takes a little growling and they snap back in line and everything is cool. Other times... Not so much. Then when I start to laying down the tirade, the kids are looking at me like I was explaining physics in a different language. It's awesome. It's even better when I get the "We didn't know!" because it's not like these are NOT the same rules we've had in play since ever I had kids... Then when the ultimatum is laid down, I get the mass head tilt, the look of "Why?".  Are you kidding? Separated time outs last for about 30seconds, but it's funny how within that thirty seconds, something changes and everything resets itself and all is well again for about another hour before we have to repeat the process again...

<Sigh...> What doesn't kill me makes me stronger and I will be rewarded with grandchildren. Yup... Grandchildren that will fill my children with the same kind of daily insanity because their little ones will be just like them...

Ghost stories....

Come on... Who hasn't told one or been told or been freaked out by a ghost story at some point in time in their lives? Summertime fun! Telling ghost stories at a slumber party or camping around a campfire or whatever... The creepy descriptions of the blood and gore, the eerie "happenings" and "occurrences" , the "WAH-BOOGIE!" endings and the one kid who always pees himself or starts crying or both.... It's totally part of the summertime fun!
In Japan, the summers are stupid hot and humid, so what they do is build these really creepy, scary haunted houses. Okay... You're probably like, "Scary? A haunted house? Mia... Are you serious? Baby stuff!" but think about it for a second.... Have you ever watched any Japanese horror flicks? I mean the real ones? 'Nuff said.
They say that it's rather refreshing and cooling to get that goose bumpy feeling and it helps cool a person down... I once went to one when I was still small and I was SO bad, the "workers" i.e. the monsters, ghosts and other creepy things, came out of "character" to tell me to leave. Of course, when they approached me, I freaked out even more and started throwing kicks and punches.... And rocks and sticks and other large heavy objects and destroyed their "set".... I wasn't allowed back. Ever....
Ahh.... Summer time fun. Good times.... Goooooood times!

Breeding hate...

I've been saying all along that the world is going to hell in a hand basket for quite some time and people suck. The state of the world is both pathetic and a bit scary. I feel bad for the next generation that has to live in it. I frightens me to no end that there is a possibility that instead of getting fixed, it's going to get worse. Let me explain....

Looking at the kids today, they are more rude, nasty, self righteous, cowardly, bullies who lie, cheat, steal and are completely self serving and selfish... Just like their parents.

Some "parents" treat their children more like accessories than blessings, and if they aren't "needed" the children are thrown and left to their own devices with electronic doodads and gizmos and rely on the internet and TV to raise them. It's pathetic. "Actively parenting" to them simply means acknowledging the short people that live in the same house once in a while... I'm sure you've come across the type.
You have those "parents" who feed their children bullshit and imprint upon small impressionable minds to hate on those who remind these "adults" everything that they hated about themselves when they were growing up.

Pageant parents. Have you ever seen some of the parents? They are as ugly as sin. Most of them are fat to boot. They take their children (anywhere from 2-16) and dress them up and make them look like miniature prostitutes (and every pedophiles' wet dream)... The "parents grew up fat and ugly and feel the need to live vicariously through their kids... Whatever...

There are the "ignuh'int parents" who grew up with hate in their lives and continue the cycle by teaching their children to hate people for the same reasons they did... You know... "Just because..."
Don't even get me started on "hate crime" nonsense. If you think about it, most crime is about hate. Do you think  people are committing crime for the love of humanity? I don't fuckin' think so.

‎"Raising kids" ain't for pansies. I'm not talking about spooging them out and leaving them to their own devices. That's not raising them. I am talking about RAISING them to be moral and upright and resilient normally functioning and thinking individuals. I may not be doing anything too important to leave an amazing legacy, but I'm doing my damnedest to make sure that I raise my children in a manner that THEY will be able to leave a great legacy. One that they can be proud of.

When I become Supreme Royal Highness and Ruler of EVERYTHING, things will change... :p

Another reason I hate people....

Why do some people feel the need to add in their two cents, even though I never asked for it? And of course, what they contribute is so stupid and inane that I can FEEL my own IQ points clicking downwards just from having listened to whatever the idiot was nannering on about and I feel the need to walk away before I get dragged down into the abyss that is their idiocy... I mean, when I ask for an opinion and it's a stupid point of view, at least I asked for it and I can shake it off and move along. But when the point comes unsolicited by a person who knows not the whole situation or none of it, what is the fuckin' point? I think it best for these people to shut the fuck up and go away, but they don't. Even when I say, "Shut the fuck up and go away!" they don't... They stay and offer suggestions and chip in... It's the BEST when it comes from someone who is about as smart as a bowl of gravy. You know the type. As sharp as a marble... I deal with this way too often and I'm really not too sure how to deal with it. walking away works on occasion, so does screaming like a banshee until they shut their traps and walk away on their own. Succinct works well too: "You're an idiot and I really don't want to hear your opinion and I really don't care what you have to say. You're an ass, go away!" sometimes works.
I want a shirt that says: If I want your fuckin' opinion... Well, that'll never happen!
I'm just sayin'....

Desperation...

I think the very epitome of desperation is the toilet paper thing. It doesn't matter where it happens... Whether it's at home, in a public restroom or a friend's house. I don't give a crap what you people say, it's happened to EVERYONE at least once in their lives. AT LEAST ONCE!
I live in a household with four children... One and a half bathrooms... (You do the math...) Three boys who poop at least four times a day (what is the DEAL WITH THAT!??!??) and a little girl  who LOVES to put a little paper into the toilet and flush so that she could watch the paper spin off the roll into the toilet.
Although I have gotten a lot better about getting into the habit of making sure that there's paper in the bathroom before I go, there are still times when I forget. Maybe I was tired or still half asleep... Maybe it was because I had JUST replaced the roll not more than a couple of hours ago and thought, "There is NO WAY in HELL there isn't going to be TP on the roll..."
It's a pretty crappy feeling... Sometimes literally... Eeyew... TMI...
So you sit there cursing the empty toilet paper roll for not magically having more paper on it and you contemplate what the next course of action will be or could be... A quick inventory and look around to see where the nearest roll could/ would be or is, then trying to manipulate your body and a combination of objects in order to reach the roll...
There have been many clever plans hatched when in this position, but most will never be known... Unless... Someone accidentally walks in because you forgot to lock the door... And you're found practically bent in half on the throne, with a plunger, a shoelace, a coat hanger, a bar of soap, the empty toilet paper roll, a tissue box cozy, and a bottle of aspirin... MacGyver would've been proud!

Frustration...

There are certain things that frustrate me to no end. Stupidity is one of them. I get how there are times when the "Duh..." hits me and you can practically see the vacant look in my eyes and the drool seeping out of the corner of my mouth... But watching the stupidity of others or worse, experiencing the stupidity of others first hand..... Ugh! It drives me up a wall! I mean, I'll laugh about it all later and share the experience with Lucky and my friends and then we all have a great laugh about it and turn it into the joke of the day, but there is a certain icky feeling to have to put up with it in the first place, no?
I mean, stupidity comes in a variety of flavors, shapes and sizes.  All of them are annoying to deal with and any one of them is a challenge for those of us who are not all ZEN in our day to day lives... We live in "proper" society now where we can't just beat people over the head with a club and walk away... Nope. We have to grit our teeth and smile and claw at the wall behind us and silently rage inside... Thankfully, the tides do change... There are some cases though that what goes around does come around and the very same tactics used on me, can be used back on them. Childish and petty? Perhaps... But sticking in the screws and twisting them oh so slowly and play dumb and stupid about it later as the last laugh? Priceless... Makes the whole thing worthwhile.

Ungh... Duh...

There are just certain days when I wake up and I already know that I will not be functioning that day. The alarm goes off and instead of the lightening quick flash of arm that shoots out at an impossible velocity to hit the snooze button from a state of sound sleep, I fall out of the bed and made the alarm clock fall onto the back of my head as a result. It was actually a clever tactic... I arrested the fall out of bed with my face to avoid hurting myself too severely and brought the alarm clock closer to myself to shut it off... Not buyin' it huh? I didn't think so...
Well, that should have been my first indication that it would be one of those days and I probably should have stayed in bed. But no... So "Sneeze or pee?" Was the next game I played.... I opted to do the second first (as I will not ever make THAT mistake again...), but the sneeze came swiftly while I did... Of course, there was no toilet paper... So I sat on the can with what looked like green party streamers hanging out of my nose... It was awesome. I reached around the corner to grab some tissues and took care of both issues and grumbled while I replaced the damn TP.

I burned my TOE with some hot oil from the frying pan when I was cooking breakfast... Follow here... MY TOE! How does that happen? I don't know... I guess I'm just special like that... I stubbed that very same toe in the door frame as I was walking to the front hall to send the broody teen to the bus stop.
With two of the boys off at school, I decided to catch a few more Z's until it was time for Little Pwintheth Poofy Panth and her other brother to wake up... The sweet little girl decided that when she DID wake up that it would be great to climb into the bed ever so quietly, without waking the mommy, then take a flying leap into the air and drop an elbow right onto my kidney. Ain't she a sweetie? When the wave of nausea passed and I was finished making incoherent bellowing noises and the little darling was placed into the penalty box, I started getting ready for the day...

By this time, the rest of the household is up and bustling about. After sending the younger ones off to school, I stared at some paper work for about twenty minutes and decided patents and other technical "stuff" was going to have to wait for another day and I opted to watch Nick Jr. for a little while since it was left on. The synapses were not firing correctly, because watching Bubble Guppies and Team Umi Zumi was confusing and it hurt the lumpy thing that sits atop my shoulders...

Not that the rest of the day got any better... I think the boys decided to pick THIS day specifically to fight and bicker and drive each other nuts, round 1 dinner was burned and ruined... Bedtime routines were a challenge and I think I may have ruptured something... I don't think there was ever a day that I wanted to haul my carcass back into bed MORE...

Then I get to tucking the motley crew into bed and I get four, "Night-night, Mommy! I love you! See you in the morning!"   Sigh... Ya know? Another rotten day ruined by four little squishy lumps... Stupid smile on my face giving away the fact that it wasn't a rotten day after all, or at least not as bad as I had originally thought because they make it all worthwhile...

Facebook...

I find that the whole Faceboook thing is such a hoot. I've come across a lot of people that I probably wouldn't have some across under "normal" circumstances and it's been great communicating with people all over the world. I have to tell you though... There are lurkers out there who just stalk around on people's pages, just because. (Creepy if you think about it, but whatever...) And the people who take the stuff WAY too seriously. C'mon... You know at least one or two on your "friend list" who get a little too obsessed about this shit.... They give the minute by minute details of everything that they do in the newsfeed... Or take what the posts a little too seriously... Really? FB is a source of entertainment... It's not life.
Lucky and I discussed this the other day and how sad it must be for the people who believe that everything has to be on the FB, otherwise it's not real. We have fun with the FB thing. It's a source of amusement and entertainment as well as a chance to communicate with people that we may not get to talk to any other way. And of course our "friends" know the type of people that we are and know us well enough to understand our posts and whatnot. You really can't get a real sense of a person just because of Facebook. Really.... I think that's a HUGE problem with the world today. People aren't talking face to face any more. They communicate with each other electronically, missing out on the subtle nuances of a face to face conversation. Basing one's opinion of a person purely on virtual postings is sad. People try and claim to know someone purely from what gets put up on FB or some other type of cyber based outlet. (FB me is SO much cooler than real life me...)
I mean, I think that someone who knows me ONLY on FB would find that I'm still not quite what they imagined when they do actually meet me. The certain inflections of my voice, the way I am, the way I carry myself, my abrasive nature, my passions for certain things, my displeasure in many others. The written/ typed word hides so much... You really don't get the feeling and emotion behind any of it...
And of course, my posts to my Puppy Guts... They always seem so hollow and empty. I mean, I know that Lucky feels the intent behind the words and knows that there is so much more than just the words themselves. And just the same, I feel the intent behind the words he puts up for me. It's the way we live our lives and love one another that makes it all real... Not some stupid website... Life is better lived for really real. Besides, FB doesn't have the bandwidth to keep up with us anyway...

Women are weird like that...

The difference between men and women and the whole chaos it causes is something that brings me much entertainment and amusement. I've posted a few times about God's cruelest joke on humankind. Viva la difference, baby! I mean, I love to joke about how women are NOT from Venus and actually erupted from the bowels of a certain area of Hell called Sadistica.

It's funny to watch the certain interactions between men and women. Whether it be out in public or at a friend's house, it amuses me to no end to see the different couples and how they act and interact, the roles they play and the way they deal with each other. People watching is a quirk of mine, but it's fun. It's a great way to learn about human nature and about people in general. You can tell a lot about a person when you watch them when they think they aren't being watched, especially when they are in a habitat like at a mall or, you know... Wherever... But seriously, as much as I think the male of the species are a bunch of weirdos, women aren't really any better. Hormones don't make it any better. Each of the sexes is wrought with their own set of different quirks, but damn! Then add to the mix the fact that people are all different...... It's the reason why I choose not to be a part of things going on around me. I just like to watch. It brings me endless amusement.

Fears...

There is just something about fears and phobias that I find to be rather thought provoking... I'm not talking about simply being scared or having an aversion to something. I am talking about what some would consider irrational fears and borderline insane aversions... Weird ones like clowns (Coulrophobia)and carnie midgets (achondroplasiaphobia)
and snow (Chionophobia) and knees (Genuphobia) and dust bunnies (Koniophobia) and chickens (Alektorophobia) and stuff like that. Okay... Maybe the clown thing is kinda valid. They are a little creepy looking, but still... Snow and knees? How do you survive through life? I knew an over the top Obsessive Compulsive guy who used to collect phobias like it was his job.... He had fears of toothpicks, cellophane, shoestrings and oscillating fans.... Among others.....
So you get these people who are afraid of some of the weirdest things like the number 13 (Triskaidekaphobia). Seriously.... How does one get to the point where they are actually afraid of something that most would see as innocuous and no big deal. What had to have happened in early childhood or a past life that traumatizes a person enough for them to be scared of something like peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth (arachibutyrophobia) or paper (Papyrophobia). I'm not talking "I may be uncomfortable with that..." I am talking about mentally dysfunctional, screaming hysteria. How does one get to that point... Seriously... It might be that I'm putting too much thought into this (as usual) but it has always been a point of curiosity for me because a lot of the time the people suffering from these irrational phobias have no idea why they have these fears... They just do. There's no rhyme or reason to their fears. They just are... I find it to be quite fascinating. These people go through life with this debilitating thing that causes them to freak out to the point that they can't function any more....
Sorry if my curiosities lead me to places unknown, but my trains of thought usually aren't on the map. I prefer to see it as traversing the roads less traveled.

Enough already!

We have enough bullshit that needs to be dealt with in our day to day lives. Bills, (yes, I actually have bills), stress, life, just the day to day insanity of trying to find balance and equilibrium... Then of course, you pile on top of that, the stuff going on outside your own four walls: crime, wars, poverty, economy woes, people being selfish and  shitty, government this, religion that, politics... I stopped watching the news and reading the papers years ago. I mean, there really is no avoiding current events though, is there... Life is happening everywhere, all the time, every day. Duh, right? There are things that are within my control to fix or affect or change, ad there are things I cannot. I do my best and do my share. Added on top of all the other day to day stuff within my four walls so to speak. That's life.

Then you get the jackasses that will try and heap their woes on top of your shit and try to make all the things they're miserable about your problem. I am not talking about the sharing of the burdens of woes, I am talking about a full on assault of "I am miserable, so therefore I will make you and everyone else around me miserable too, just so I can feel a little better about myself because I'm a selfish piece of shit like that" kind of stuff. As if I didn't already have enough to deal with?

Taking the time to clear off the unnecessary crap at the beginning and end of every day has been the greatest thing I've ever started doing for myself. Does it work all the time? No. But at least I'm making the attempts and I feel better. There's only so much I can do.

Things that you see that may affect you... Or at least they should...

There are so many things that even the thought of it can send a person screaming and running away. But to actually see it... There are things that sometimes leaves things that require the "professional strength" to remove... Makes your skin crawl, puckers the sphincter and makes you throw up in your mouth a little...

Your parents schpoiking. Gaaah! You'll probably require immediate medical attention too as they'll need to stop the bleeding from your eye sockets after you try to rake your own eyes out with a rusty screw driver.

Ditto, your teenage/ college age kids with their "significant other" of the moment.

Watching someone else run over a little critter in the road and you witness the squish and pop.

Two ugly people making out in public.

Obama on TV.

Feral cats or dogs chewing on one of their brethren.

A grown man rolling around in his own shit simply because (he claims) it keeps the aliens away.

Islam/ Shariah law trying to creep in and get a foothold in the US.

Animal cruelty, child abuse, bullying, and any one of the atrocities that people commit on other people... Go ahead... Flip through the channels or open up a newspaper... You'll find something that'll turn your stomach...

The public school systems and their "policies"...

There are tons of things.. Just look outside... The world is heading somewhere really bad and it's sad because not enough of us realize it and all we can do is hoot an holler about it... I hope that by the time we get people to listen, it isn't too late...

Bed hog...

I am a self admitted bed hog of epic proportions. Granted I stand about 5'2" and weigh about 97lbs, soaking wet, fully dressed, wearing big honkin' boots, but I have the rare talent of being able to take up more than my fair share of space on even a king sized bed.
How does that happen, you may be asking yourself. Well, I am the encroaching type... First I steal the blankets. All of them. Including the one taken from the foot of the bed ( you know, the "just in case it gets cold" blanket). When Lucky tries to snuggle close to get his share of the covers, so, he rolls to his "not sleeping side" to snuggle, I move closer to him... And we snuggle. At some point, he rolls back over onto his "sleeping side" providing me with the ability to further encroach into his territory. Then, before you know it, WHAM! he's on the floor I've completely invaded his side of the bed diagonally from mine AND I have all the covers.
I'm so sorry Puppy Guts... Hi, my name is Mia (Hi Mia) and I'm a bed hog...  

IT BUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNSSSS!

Being a midnight shift cop, my poor Lucky, he does not do too well in sunlight. He's whiter than the whitest white thing. I mean SO white, he practically glows in the dark. One good thing about that is, if there is a power outage, I'll always be able to find him in the dark. Sunlight confuses him. He wears dark sunglasses and he will commence with the whining in having to be in it. He can be inside and look out a window and ask, "What is that? That bright, white stuff outside... I don't like it... " Mew, mew, mew... <Sigh!>
Stepping out into the light can get very disorienting for him. The hesitant step out and trying to touch the light, pulling his hand back as if it was in excruciating pain because the light touched him and the sad, pathetic look that sweeps across his face as he nurses his poor wittle hand he holds to his chest... Oh, and let's not forget the sad little pout.
It takes quite a bit of coaxing and reassurance to get him to get outside, but I do try my best to do it without laughing... Much... He needs his vitamin D.

Go away... You're Big

I know somebody who smiles all the time. No matter what's going on, he's smiling. It's weird. People will come up to him and start talking to him and he makes friends wherever he goes... It's because he's smiling all the time. Some people (much like myself) think "There is something seriously wrong with this guy. I think he might be ON something..." but a good portion of the time, people will smile back.
I gave it a try the other day. Instead of my usual "Don't fuckin' talk to me!" puss, I made a conscious effort to smile. What a difference! People asked me stuff, talked to me, smiled back and they didn't part like the Red Sea when I came trudging by... I didn't like it. So, I went back to my "not smile-y" face and all was right in the world again. (I do apologize if there was a shift in the time continuum or if reality got skewed somewhere or the gravitational pull on some part of the planet was switched off or even if it was that some people's chakras got misaligned or it clouded some people's auras or unbalanced someone's chi or something... It won't happen again, I assure you, as I will not make the mistake of smiling too often in public like that. It really creeped me out...) Adults are so judge-y and weird like that...
But, kids are different, aren't they... I went to volunteer at a party the kindergarten class was having in my youngest child's school. I cut bagels, I handed out plates of noms, I passed out juice, I went from table to table to make sure that the kids got everything they needed. I helped out with the party craft project that the teacher had organized and went from table to table helping to glue stuff and color stuff and glitterize stuff... Good times. I guess I must have been smiling or something because by the end of the little shindig, I had all the kids climbing on me and hugging me and talking to me and asking me when I was coming back to the class to help out. Weird thing is, I didn't mind.
I don't know at what point they go from being all cute and fun to be around to the nasty adults that I run across far too often. My hope is that the next generation doesn't turn out to be the next wave of those people or worse.
We could all learn a valuable lesson from volunteering in a kindergarten class and hanging out with a bunch of five year olds. These kids are not yet "ruined" by life. They make no judgments, don't care what you look like, they're willing to laugh with  you and talk to you no matter what. They lack the "maturity and wisdom", sure, but I think somewhere along the lines as the maturity and wisdom comes, that innocence gets lost sometimes. I wasn't trying to make a conscious effort to smile. It just happened and it was great. I wasn't expected to be anybody, I wasn't expected to do anything, just...Be. Outside of that classroom, and it came to be an effort that I had to think about and I could feel the "Go away!" aura that I usually emit coming back to the surface. The difference, at least for me, of being around little kids and big people...
People who know me well enough usually see past my "anti-social" thing. They've actually taken the time to strip away the layers and figured me out. Not that I'm a complicated being... I have my quirks and being a woman... Well... I have my moments, but just like any person, there are many facets to my personality that make me who I am. My friends are who they are BECAUSE they took the time to discover what I'm about. It's all good. At least this way here, I know who my real friends are... I'm just sayin'...

GAAAAH! COOTIES!

Some people get all "YAY!" about getting hugged. Other people... Well, not so much... But it's fun to weed out the ones who don't and hug them anyway.
I once met a woman who wouldn't shake hands. I mean, she WOULDN'T. I was introduced to her and I went to shake her hand and she looked at me like I was crazy, then looked down at the hand I was offering like it was covered in dog shit and looked back up at me and said, "I... Don't shake hands..."
I had the overwhelming urge to hug her and tell her, "There! Now you have cooties too!" just to be able to see her lose her ever loving mind. I really think it would have been funny and definitely entertaining... But, it was a social event at a friend's house and I had to be on my best behavior, so I didn't, but I really REALLY wanted to...
I know, I know... Quirk... I think this one was #317....

Memorial Day...

We come to another Memorial Day and it seems that there are still many people who need reminding of what this day is and why we have this day off... It's not so that we can have another long weekend and have an excuse to drink and have a barbecue, people. This is a day we should be giving thanks to our armed services, the men and women who gave their lives so that we can enjoy our liberties and the right to drink and have barbecues.

Regardless of how you feel about our armed forces, there is a universal truth. It is because of our troops that we have the right and continue to have the right to have an opinion about all of the things we do and to voice them and be heard. Our borders protected, our way of life preserved, from the day this country was founded and hopefully until the end of days. We honor those troops have loyally laid down their lives so that we can continue to enjoy our freedoms.

So, here we are, on this day again. Puppy Guts and I fly the colors today as we do on most days to remind those around us that we bleed red, white, and blue, are proud to be Americans and we aren't afraid to show it. We display the emblem of our nation because we want to show that we support our country and our troops on this day and every other. We show that we are grateful for the ultimate sacrifices that far too many of the men and women of our armed forces made so that we can enjoy the choice to do so. We show that we have not forgotten what this day truly is about and the reason why we have this day.

God bless our troops, all of our armed forces. Here's to you. Thank you for your service.

A lesson in futility...

There is just no reaching some people and no matter how hard you try, there is just no understanding them either. You can explain things and it won't get through to them. You can try apologizing, it won't matter. You can debate, argue, use charts and diagrams, write a 100 page dissertation breaking down every little thing into short simple words... Nothing.
Life's too short to have to worry about the morons who can't see past their own selfishness and stupidity. I'm learning to cut them loose and go on about my business instead of trying to please aforementioned morons. I don't have enough time in the day or the patience to have to deal with idiots. I would just as soon leave the "unreachables" where they are and let them be unreachable far away from me. There are people who I do care about and love that I'd much rather be around anyway.
I wouldn't call myself a quitter because I'm "giving up"... Nope. I see it more as being opportunistic to find happiness instead of being sucked in and dragged down and become a true "quitter" wallowing in misery and trying to infect as many other people as possible.

Okay, you're stranded on a deserted island...

A quick and fun game to play with friends... Basic essentials aside, and figure your survival is 100%... What do you have with you? Who do you have with you? What do you do?
I have seen this discussion turn VERY heated and it's fun to watch. This is especially true if  you have an economically diverse mix of people who are single or married, with different political views,  religious views, sexual orientation, have different belief structures and it get's even MORE fun if there is a mix of cultures too. Add a little bit of beer to this mix and it's better than an episode of Jerry Springer! I've seen this one in action and being an avid people-watcher, this one was a hoot!

Run! Mom knows and she's coming!

I've probably done things in my childhood that may have lead to the premature graying of my parents' hair and the shortening of their lives... The general mischief making, the fighting, the street racing of cars... But I was never a bad kid...
I try to remember that the things that my kids do might be bad, but my kids themselves aren't... Sure they do things that drive me nuts... But in the grand scheme, they're good little monkeys... And I have twice the number of kids that my parents did.
I'm doing my best to try and pick my battles with my kids and I try my best to make sure that I don't fall into the trap of doing the things that MY parents did that I still whole-heartedly disagree with and/ or drove me nuts.
And despite the fact that their time is split, I will make sure that I remain consistent, strong, responsible, reliable, available and caring  and give them the freedom within structure that they need,  so that they can become unique individuals who understand a good work ethic, responsibility and can do the shit when shit needs to get done. Sure they hate me now, but years from now, I know they'll see that I was right.

Love...

I guess it is kind of hard to describe something like "love" isn't it? Sure, it's a feeling or emotion... that what? It's always a little bit different from person to person and the feeling covers a wide range of things... I love pizza! I love bacon! I love my children! I love my Lucky! Obviously, I have a strong affinity for a lot of different things, but to try and describe all the levels and varieties and intensities and whatnot?
And what is this nonsense that animals don't feel love or any kind of emotion... Okay, the statement that animals don't "feel" is OFFICIALLY rejected, labeled as inane and stupid and has been tossed out. I've had pets that have shown more love in their short lifetimes than some people are capable of in their entire lifetime. Moving on...
So, is love an action? Is it a tangible something? Is it an overwhelming emotional "Woo HOO!"? Is it a physical thing? Is it something that we think? Is it something deeper than that? I mean there are times when a person "thinks" they love someone or something... I'm sure we've all heard someone say, "Well I thought I loved <whatever person, place thing...>, but..." and the whole "I love <pick your noun>, but..." what is that? I can understand saying it about a place... I love Japan, but it's so damn crowded and everything is so fuckin' expensive... I can understand saying it about a thing... I love spicy food, but I end up paying the price later... But to say that about a person? I love you BUT...
I really don' think that there should be a "but" attached to saying "I love you" to a person, whether it be a best friend, a lover, a family member, a child... Maybe it's a "semantics" thing... I could just be an issue I have... I think there shouldn't be  conditions put on whether you love someone or conditions put on the love itself... Think about the implications if YOU were to hear, " I love you, but..." from your friend, your significant other or a family member.
I've never heard an "I love you, but..." come out of Lucky's mouth . That's how I know I've got the real deal. I don't need to be anything or anyone other than who and what I am. And he'll not hear it from me... Ever.

Foul language...

I'm not really sure who it was that determined what "foul language" really is... I mean I know that there are the "seven things you can't say on t.v. or radio" : shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cock sucker, mother fucker and tits. Fine... I get it. I use them all, but I guess it's a choice... I try to keep the language appropriate and omit the seven "no-no"s and opt for things like "crap!" or "Shitake!" or "fork!" or something, especially around children and old folks. I think it's the right thing to do... But I really think there are so many other things that are far more offensive to hear or say or deal with than a "cuss word"... I'm just saying...

People suck...

I hate people more and more each day... They're rude and pushy and have entitlement complexes that run a mile wide, a mile deep and a mile long. I am NOT going to kowtow to some rude bitch who decides her shit doesn't stink. I am not going to play subservient to some asshole who thinks he's the second coming of Christ. I am not going to yield to some douche because of a superiority complex. I am not afraid to hip check someone in a line when they deserve it. I am not afraid to tell someone that they're being an ass when they are CLEARLY being an ass. I am not afraid to dole out a verbal spanking to someone who is clearly in need of one.

How to deal with a narcissist.......

There are people in my life who fit the very definition of the word "narcissist". I'd like to take a little time today to offer up a lesson to people about how to identify one and how to deal with them. Now, I am in NO WAY a psychologist, therapist, psychoanalyst, psychiatrist, head shrinker, yip skip dippity doo dah "let's-talk-about-our-feelings"guru or anything, but, I feel as if though I need to get this all out there because narcissism has become an epidemic. Look at the world around us.... Think about the people we are forced to deal with. I can personally say that most people fall victim to these narcissistic people on a daily basis and don't even know it or realize it. Maybe if I throw this out there, you'll be able to recognize it and be able to deal with the problem and eliminate some sources of stress in your life. Seriously....

So, let's start off by defining narcissism. Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity, or egotistic admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, that derive from arrogant pride. The term originated with Narcissus in Greek mythology who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Narcissism is also considered a social or cultural problem. Except in the sense of primary narcissism or healthy self-love, narcissism is usually considered a problem in a person or group's relationships with self and others. Narcissism is not the same as egocentrism. Four dimensions of narcissism as a personality variable have been delineated: leadership/authority, superiority/arrogance, self-absorption/self-admiration, and exploitative-ness/entitlement. Most of these things are self perceived and the adulation they seek is NOT deserved. 

There are certainly very recognizable traits that, with a little bit of observation, you can pick out right away. I mean, it's not always about them scoping out a mirror to admire themselves, like Narcissus and his reflection. Narcissism encompasses all sorts of self centeredness and I am here, as a public service announcer, to help you recognize other behaviors of the typical narcissist. It is not necessarily just one of these behavioral traits that will define what a narcissist is. Usually a combination, but it's pretty plain to see once you know what you're looking for. Here is a list of these behaviors. It's not just limited to these, but you'll get the idea.

• An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges. Basically how, when talking to someone, the focus of ANY conversation will become about them.

• Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships. Well, it's difficult to maintain a relationship when it's all about them, isn't it?

• A lack of psychological awareness. Everyone else is crazy.... Didn't you know? 

• Difficulty with empathy, because no one else matters. They live in their own little worlds where everything is perfect because THEY are perfect. The only problem is, they don't realize that WE have to share the planet with them.

• Problems distinguishing the self from others. This mostly happens because everything is always about them. Their life is more interesting, more important, more tragic, more whatever. 

• Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults. Because how can anyone ever think they are anything less than perfect?  It can almost look like paranoia at times. The thought of themselves being judged by others is intolerable. So even perceived insult or judgement is unforgivable.  

• Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt. Shame is a bit shorter term than guilt. One eventually gets over feeling shame, whereas feelings of guilt is admitting wrongdoing, which will never happen with a narcissist. But shaming them is easy, because they will never admit fault, they'll try not to acknowledge it, they'll eventually reason it away, but pointing out their shortcomings and hounding them about it can bring about shame.

• Haughty body language. They seriously think they're better than everyone. Nose in the air, looking down on people. You can also hear it in their intonation when they speak. It's almost like they're talking down to you.

• Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them, well, because, they NEED that perpetual approval and constant ego stroking. The cruelest thing to do to a narcissist is to stroke their ego, then cut them down, then stroke their ego again, only to cut them down once more. 

• Detesting those who do not admire them. Well, like I said, they need constant reassurance and ego stroking. Actually, they demand it. How dare you not give it.  

• Using other people without considering the cost of doing so, because, well damn it! To them it's really not "using" per se. It's a means to an end...... Their own megalomaniacal end, other people be damned.

• Pretending to be more important than they really are. They need to showcase their own self importance. Status and how people perceive them is super important to them. It's a facade they need to create, showing how "happy" their lives are, how "successful" they are, how "great" their relationships are, but the reality is, it's only in their own minds.  

• Bragging (subtly, but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements. Again, it is all about this incessant need for approval and feeding their own egos. They need to show people how important they are despite the fact that it is completely undeserved. Again, it is more facade. They need attention and approval and accolades in order to thrive.  

• Claiming to be an "expert" at many things. They are nothing more than Google scholars. You'll hear things like, "I've spoken to experts about this...." Or better yet, "I've done extensive research on the subject..."They will keep on talking about a subject that they have NO idea about, and continue to talk out of their asses despite being shown how wrong they are or how stupid they sound, while continuing to believe that they are still "the expert".  

• Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people. Seriously? There is no reasoning with these people. They are lost causes. Logic completely escapes them. It is their way. That's it. That's why they will always believe they won an argument. Any argument. 

• Denial of remorse and gratitude. They will not apologize because they feel they've done nothing wrong. They will justify their actions until the day they die. And gratitude? Pfft. Forget it. You SHOULD be doing them favors. You're welcome. 

So, how do these traits manifest themselves? Well, there are the seven deadly sins of narcissism: 

Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways. But seriously, that is what lurks just beyond the surface because on the inside, they know how wrong they are and they know how much of a lie their lives really are, but they will rationalize and justify everything in their own sick and twisted ways in order to keep the facade up for themselves, even LONG after those around them have seen them for what they really are. 

Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others. This projection is used simply to deflect blame onto someone else or to take the negative spotlight off of themselves. 

Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may re-inflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else. They will resort to malicious behaviors "just to be a bitch" or withhold on obligations to punish others. They feel like they are better than everyone around them and will go above and beyond to make sure that they make you know it too. If these actions go unnoticed, you will feel their pettiness and subsequent retribution, no matter how trite.

Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person. They may not even acknowledge another person's talent at all. Actual competition freaks them out, especially when there is a possibility that they will lose. They are cowards and will haughtily dismiss anything or anyone that may threaten their own self importance. 

Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage. Anything that doesn't meet their own status quo is considered an affront. Any change or deviation from that status quo is unacceptable. In their minds, the law does not apply to them, neither does showing common courtesy. 

Exploitation: It can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed. Emotional blackmail can be a common weapon used by the narcissist in order to get what they want too.

Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other. It is about their own needs being met and that is all.

Great..... Right? So, how do you deal with these people? It seems an impossible task, no? Honestly, it's really quite simple. Their self loathing and shame lay so close to the surface it's not even funny. That arrogant self love is a thin, brittle and easily shattered facade. How do you shatter it? Stand your ground and confront them with everything you know they hate about themselves. Bombard them with everything you know they are ashamed about. Bring to indisputable light, what they did wrong, how it is wrong, why it is wrong and how it is their fault. It's an awesome thing to watch that thin, crusty veil shatter like one of those glass ball X'mas ornaments. Be consistent. Don't kowtow to their self imagined greatness because that's where they get their power. They will do anything and everything to maintain their own self perceived superiority, whether by lying, using tears and emotional blackmail, debasing and verbal abuse, name calling, deflection, irrational justifications and straight up denial. Keep calm and carry on. The calmest person in the "conversation" is the one with the power. Challenge their ego and they will NOT remain calm. Stand tall and don't back down. 

The "incredulous look" works great too. Here's how to do it: Give them an unimpressed look filled with disbelief, dripping with judgment and condescension. And don't say a word. Maybe shake your head a little and roll your eyes, but DO NOT SPEAK. It's an absolutely LOVELY tool. And watching them stutter and fall on themselves through the rest of the "conversation" and watching their egos disintegrate is truly GOLD!  They will puff out their chests and continue to try and impress you anyway, trying desperately to reassert their self perceived superiority. The final blow is basically a "talk to the hand" maneuver, an eye roll, and then walking away. Maybe throw in an barely audible "Loser!"  there under your breath as you walk away. They'll still remain narcissistic, but they won't talk to you because you will be perceived by them as a lost cause and their fragile little egos couldn't bare to deal with that again.  

They aren't anything more than cowards and they do NOT like to have a critical "mirror" pointed at them so that they can actually see how they aren't what they claim to be. They don't really want to know what they really are. That's why they've created a world of their own: A bubble in which they live. It comes down to self preservation because they really can't face themselves, their shame, their shortcomings, their flaws, their inabilities, their need for constant affirmations, acceptance and approval.  Eventually, it will come to a point where they feel it is not longer worth it for them to try and convince you of their superiority and self centric greatness. Will it stop them from being an self loving / loathing / loving / loathing egomaniac? No. But at least you'll no longer have to deal with it as much.

Yup... Sound familiar? 

You're welcome.