Our Christmas....

Okay, I hate Christmas, but there is something very cool about seeing the excitement on my children's faces on "Christmas morning". The chaos and havoc, the sounds of excitement and laughter as they tear into their presents. Our Christmases are pretty lean, but it doesn't seem to matter too much to my kids. They're kind of awesome like that.We don't have  "Santa Claus". We have Randy the Magical Christmas Troll. He comes into the night on "fake Christmas Eve" to deliver the presents to the house and hides all the presents around the house like Easter eggs. The household will be awakened at o'dark hundred hours and coffee will be made and the kids go to town.... Any second now, they'll be up screaming, "RANDY WAS HERE!!!!!!" It's going to be a hoot.

Once this day is done, we'll be going to do it again! Round TWO! Woo hoo! And tomorrow morning, we will repeat this process.
No, I'm not smiling during the holidays! Okay, maybe just a little......

My "Christmas" with my kids....

My children spend every Christmas with their dad and his family. Reason being? It's a "Christian holiday", I've never really done the whole Christmas thing really, I hate Christmas and it's more important to his family than it is to mine. It's not to say that my children don't get a Christmas with me though. We celebrate ours the weekend before "actual Christmas". Today is our "Christmas eve". We'll eat and play and go through our regular routine, but the next morning will bring holiday fun.... I sort of can't wait....

Blah, Christmas....

Come on. I know that I'm not the only one who's a little (or a lot) BLECH! about the holidays. I can't be the only Grinch or the only Scrooge. The only difference between them and me? I'm still going to hate the holidays. SOMEONE has to be out there. It's not just me. There are others who have expressed a certain disdain for this time of year. It's okay. I get it. I promise. No judgments shall befall you here.

Just in time for Christmas......

I may be a "BAH HUMBUG!" kind of person around the holidays, but I hate Christmas.... (Wait, what?)
Don't get me wrong. I've always donated to Toys for Tots, gave loose change to the Salvation Army,  bought stupid crap at the kids' schools' fundraisers for their pet charities.... Blah. And I will or have done those things this year too.
But this year I did something a little different because the opportunity arose. I've recently opted to shear off the locks again and go from mid back length hair to a close cropped pixie hairdo in order to donate said hair to my fave charity, Locks of Love.
I think it's a fantastic way of "giving of oneself" and considering the fact that I'm broke, I can't donate money. I figured growing out my hair and getting it cut off can be my way of giving back. If not for anything else, I'm REALLY good at growing hair.
My reasons for hating the holidays isn't about the spirit of giving or anything like that. I am really just disappointed that this doesn't follow through to the rest of the year. It seems to me that we shouldn't have a "time of year" when people are kinder or more "brotherly" to one another and yet.... Well, looking around, I see shitty people doing shitty things to others all the time.
My reasons for Locks of Love to be a favorite charity of mine is simple really. I once went through a period of having a bald spot on the top of my head courtesy of my sister and a zip top. Of course, after said incident, and the resulting ripping of hair from my head with aforementioned zip top, I was told by dear sister that if I said anything to mom and dad, she would kill me in my sleep. At the time, I was 5 or 6 and she was 16 or so. (In looking back though, even if I HAD told my parents, somehow, they would have seen fit to punish me for it and say that it MUST have been my fault somehow anyway....) Whatever.
I had to endure tests of all sorts including blood work and skin scrapings, which resulted in a bigger bald patch on the top of my head.... Kids are cruel and mean, ESPECIALLY when they notice something different about another child and can exploit it somehow. Well, for months, until the hair started to grow back, I was known as "Baldie". It sucked being ostracized like that. Funny thing is, after the hair grew back, everything was back to the way it was. Like it never happened.... For everyone else around me. It left a rather large impression on me though.
There are children who suffer from hair loss and CAN'T say, "It'll grow back..." For whatever the cause (in the cases that Locks of Love deal with, Alopecia Areata, which is what I was tested for) I can't imagine or don't want to imagine the cruelty that these children must have to endure. It sickens me as well as saddens me. Locks of Love provides disadvantaged children (more girls than boys, as you can imagine) with vacuum fitted wigs so that they can "fit in and feel normal". They deal strictly with the charitable donations (both hair and money) to make and distribute these wigs to these kids....
There have been some controversial issues brought forth against Locks of Love saying that these funds have been misappropriated, but think about the amount of money it takes to go through the making of one wig. Sure, the wig costs about $1800, but it costs money to sort the hair (as ALL the hair donated cannot be used because it's not suitable or usable hair). Think about the overhead (advertising, an office where people are sorting through the mounds of mail they get, lawyers, "staff", although most of it is volunteer, it can't ALL be).... Blah, blah, blah.... And considering, they are the ones eating most or all of these costs.... Meh.... Whatever. Dig into ANY organization/ cause/ group/ religion/ whatever, and you're bound to find one or a whole lot more skeletons in the closet...
I'll frump on about the holidays being a crappy time of the year and stuff and I will definitely bitch and complain that this time of the year screws with the feng shui of the flow of my life, but I will not have anyone say that I am without a spirit of giving especially during the holiday season because of what they are. Although I see the whole "spirit of giving and brotherly love" as something people should have all the time, I think this year, I was just in time for Christmas for a nice haircut with a purpose.

The spirit of Christmas!

Yup... Holiday shopping brings out the worst in me, but mine is more of a grumbling, inward kind of bad... It's that time of year again when out at the malls or wherever, I get to witness the wonderful-ness of the spirit of Christmas as people fight and claw their way around the stores buying up all sorts of crap for gifts. 'Tis the season...
Last year I witnessed a woman tossing a little boy out of her way to get to a pegboard of toys. This year, I'm sure we'll see more of the same type of behavior running rampant all the fuck over the place. I choose NOT to go out and braves the retail places simply because I don't know whether I'd be able to keep my head. And GOD forbid if I had my kids out and something happened to one of them... I am a mama bear. Don't touch my kids. If you do, no amount of anything is going to pry me off of you and remove my fingers from your eye sockets as I use your head like a bowling ball.

More insomnia.... YAY!

Yes, another post brought to you by insomnia. Because I CAN'T FREAKING SLEEP!!!!!
Why this time? Probably the impending holidays. I really do hate this time of year... :s

Chuck Norris facts.....

I have an obsession with Chuck Norris facts. No doubt. I don't know what it is about them that I find so amusing, but there you go. I find them and I giggle myself stupid over them. Most people know about my obsession with Chuck Norris facts as well and of course, being EVER SO AWESOME, when they find a particularly good one, they are kind enough to share them with me.
Now, for really real though? From what I understand, real life Chuck Norris is a nice guy. He's a philanthropist. He is known for his contribution towards organizations such as Funds for Kids, Veteran's Administration National Salute to Hospitalized Veterans, the United Way, and the Make-A-Wish Foundation in the form of donations as well as fund-raising activities. He's a Republican, an NRA member, a Christian, a former Air Force Air Policeman and a family man.
It just makes the Chuck Norris facts better. Just sayin'....

My life ain't so bad.....

I've often complained about my life and some of the things that happen in it. I am thankful for the many things that I DO have. I don't think I've ever been NOT grateful for them. My issues sometimes lay in dwelling (perhaps a bit too long at times) in the crap that gets heaped onto my plate. I'm working on sorting it all out. And as far as any of my "rock bottom" moments? I know it could have been a lot worse. I've always managed to crawl back out and claw my way back to where I needed to be.
Life isn't always a bowl of cherries. I get it. I'm doing what I can and doing it myself and doing it well because no one is going to do it for me. Nothing good is ever going to get handed to me. On the other side of that, just because someone is smiling at me when they hand me a bagful of dog shit doesn't mean I have to take it either. Keep moving forward.

An epic moment....

I need to take a moment and share an epic moment with you all. My holiday shopping is done and everything that I needed to have done is completed. I don't need to brave any more malls or shopping centers to look for gifts and holiday type stuff. I'm so happy, I think I'm gonna go cry or something.

It's beginning to look a lot like BLAH BLAH!!!

People are out in full force, pushing and shoving and being none too nice. Everywhere I go, it looks like Christmas threw up there. It's a nightmare. There are just so many things I hate about the holidays.
Well, first of all, Christmas has NOTHING to do with Christ, the birth of Christ or anything Christ-like. So whatever. The day is more about greed and overindulgence and maybe a couple of the seven deadly sins that are no-no-ed in the bible. Honestly.... These church going people look like such hypocrites and shame their religion on what they consider to be the holiest of days. Bite me.
People are running around all over the place trying to spend as much money that they can.... Money that they don't have. All for the satisfaction of I don't even know what. It's like a day when greed and gluttony are forgiven just because.
Maybe it is that I'm a bit Scrooge-y. Or maybe I have a valid point. Think about what the holiday is supposed to mean and think about the reality of what it is. Go to a local mall or a shopping center or something and look around. Personally, I find it to be rather frightening and I am usually MORE armed to the teeth than I normally would be simply because of the time of year...
Whatever the case, I don't like the holidays. Never really have. EXCEPT for the noms part. I love the noms part.

Christmas tree.... Sort of....

So, we got our tree.... It's not impressive by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, it much resembles the Christmas tree in the Charlie Brown Christmas special.  Don't get me wrong. Just because I hate Christmas and stuff doesn't mean I'm going to pass that whole quirk off onto my kids and deny them a Christmas with me.
So, I got them a tree. It's more like a branch or a twig, really, but none the less. They had a great time getting it all trimmed up with the ornaments and crap, had cocoa, took pictures. They had a blast. I'm not saying I like Christmas or anything, but I guess some of it isn't all bad.....

My evil plan.....

I think Jack Skellington had it right. Steal Christmas and shape it into a holiday more suitable for me... Yes. I will take this Christmas thing and mold it to become something else.... Yes..... The wheels are turning, a plot hatched..... Mwa ha ha ha ha! Yes..... YE HE HE HE HESSSSSSSSS! Minions! Go forth and bring me..... Oh, crap! That's right. I don't have any minions.... Maybe I can ask for some for Christmas.....

No more X'mas!!!!!

My X'mas issues aren't so much about the holiday itself, but the hoorah and commercialism and materialism that comes with it. I don't want to take the whole "Christmas thing" away from kids and all, but somewhere along the line I think the whole spirit of Christmas got lost. THAT'S the big problem I have.... You know what? Just wake me when it's over. Bah humbug......

December 1st....

So it begins.... We start the "Happy Holidays!" season. The retail nightmares, the rude people, the endless frustration and the fact that I hate Christmas. Pfft! Whatever! It's officially on now. I'll be hearing the holiday songs in every store I go to. Seeing tinsel and ornaments and holiday related stuff in displays everywhere. Ugh! I hate the holidays.

Cure for "stupid"?

If there was a cure for stupid, it'd be awesome. If I could come up with a cure for stupid, it'd be even better.
But the fact is, THERE IS NO CURE FOR STUPID.
Thanks for stopping by.

Leftover NOMS....

It's leftover NOMS time. Then after that, nap. Then more noms. Repeat as often as necessary..... :sigh: BLISS!

Happy Thanksgiving from ours to yours!

Hope everybody has a safe and wonderful Thankgiving weekend! Enjoy the noms!
Love and hugs!
Mia

It's flu season again.....

Yippee.... It's flu season. And it begs the question yet again this year..... To flu shot or not to flu shot.... With three kids in school, there is always the strong possibility that they will bring something home. There is no doubt that if one comes home with it, no matter how much you try to isolate the sick child in a room by himself, everybody is going to get sick... We've not ever had too much luck with the flu shots ever. The few days after the shots, one or all of the kids became unwell within a couple of days and had to stay home from school. Then, when they go back to school only to catch a different strain of the flu. THAT is a whole BUTT LOAD of fun! Fevers and spewing stuff and the feeling of death being at the doorstep..... Then the boredom, but not wanting to do anything and feeling like absolute crap for EVER. My eldest son got over the flu in two days. TWO DAYS. He was totally right as rain and done. The second eldest was three days. The two younger ones weren't as lucky and it was a week of fun for them. Bless their little hearts they stayed in the room, watched movies together, snuggled up together on the big bed, drank fluids and fell asleep together cuddled up like a litter of puppies. It was adorable. I managed to get all four kids through the flu thing before it claimed its last victim. Me..... Blaaaaaaahhhh..... That sucked a lot.
Looking forward to doing it again this year! NOT!!

Another message brought to you by the stupidity of people.....

I hate stupid people. They make me angry.

A different kind of "bringing hell".....

We all have people in our lives that we have told to go to hell. I've had people who've told me to go to hell myself. Whatever.

So, I began thinking. What is hell anyway? Is it a place of fire and brimstone and perpetual suffering? And if it's a place of perpetual suffering, what kind of suffering is it? I mean, is it like excruciating pain and agony? I mean, some people get off on that kind of stuff... SO then what? Eternal suffering through emotional misery? Well, I know quite a few many people who are CONSTANTLY in self pity mode and would rather be the eternal victims and live in misery...

Maybe it's more like an individualized thing, custom made for everyone. Tailor made for whoever with their own brand of hellish suffering. Like, mine would be a world without bacon. Can you imagine the suffering for a person like Bin Laden? Bacon everywhere and pink, prancing unicorns and rainbows and cute, furry, fluffy things naked women beating him like a pinata every hour on the hour and feeding him tainted pork products that had gone bad...

And what of the people who I feel should go to hell, but won't. My thoughts on this? I should be that person's hell. Not in a mean or malicious way or anything like that and (unless under certain circumstances where it was necessary) it wouldn't be violent or cause injury or harm. I am talking about something else. Annoying a person so bad that your mere presence alone drives them bonkers is the best way, especially if it's someone you see every day. The "annoying thing" is the easiest thing to do and brings it's own brand of hellishness to the one you're annoying.
I just like to smile like nothing in the world is wrong, let go of all the anger or resentment that I have for said individual, forgive them for whatever and move on. Nothing annoys them so much. It's a fun time for all..... Well, maybe just for me, but it gets the job done.

It's the most NOMMIEST time of the year....

The one thing I can say that I do enjoy about the holidays is the noms. All the Nom Holidays lumped up together at the end of the year all at once.... There is a constant nom-o-rama happening all over and everywhere you go! It's AWESOME! I won't go into total bliss mode until all of the holidays are over, but I will experience temporary moments of bliss as I nom on all the nommy nom noms. THIS I promise. Pass noms please!

SHUTUP!

I have my moments when I am not too cordial when it comes to certain types of people. Standing around and talking to them is a painful experience because I would really rather be doing ANYTHING else, but they try and have a conversation with me anyway. I don't get that. It should be obvious from my disdain that I don't want to continue on with the conversation, but it seems to drag on anyway as the idiot I'm not wanting to talk to tries desperately to resuscitate the conversation by yammering on and asking me my opinion or asking questions. I finally get to a point where I will say to someone, "I really don't want to talk to you...." The response? "Why?"
"Why? Because FUCK YOU, that's why!"  It is a great conversation finisher. You should try it some time. It works wonders.

SLOOoooooOOOW internet.....

There are times when the internet is so slow that it takes FOREVER for stuff to happen, especially when I want it to happen NOW. Which is always. With five computers trying to go all at once on one wireless system, sometimes things get slooooooooooooowww....... Today is one of those days. Frustration abound. This sucks.

11-11-11

Yesterday had a pretty trippy date, huh? What will the day bring? Is something going to happen at 11:11AM or 11:11PM? Maybe the internet is going to crash or the world is going to end. It's just one of those weird happenings where the date seems like it's all omen-y and junk..... Just saying. I thought it was cool... A random thought because of what the date was is all..... So I thought, "Carry on! Go back about your day. See you tomorrow, tomorrow!"

It's 11/12 now... And "Hey! Welcome back!"  Well, it seems we have survived another one of those ominous kind of "end of the world" days.... For now...... There'll be another one along any minute now.... You just wait and see!

Pouting.....

After the kids get into to trouble for fighting, they usually resort to ignoring the crap out of each other, even though they crave the others' attention. It never really lasts too long simply because they want to play with each other and go back to what they were doing. I've been trying to leave them to their own devices lately so that they can learn to work things out for themselves a little more and most of the times it works. Sure there are times when I have to step in and referee them, but it doesn't take too much direction from me for them to bring it back together, which is pretty cool to see. A few minutes later, they're back to playing again and they learn to compromise a little here and there. They work scary well as a team when they are all spot on and are functioning as a unit and it is quite the sight to see.
I get a little bit of "instant gratification" here for once and it feels pretty good. My kids rock!

Easily distracted....

I love how easily distracted I can be sometimes. Yes, MOST of the time, it is annoying because I get off task and forget to do something and I end up spending more time on something then I really needed to, but there are some times when it does rather come in handy. Times like when I'm upset about something. Stomping around, I find something that distracts me and I go with it. Some time later I finish off all the things I needed to get done that day and I go back to what it was that pissed me off, but by this time, I've usually forgotten what it was that had me in such a stit. When or if I remember, it never really seems as bad as I had originally thought and I deal with it. It figures. My A.D.D. does come in handy sometimes! YAY!

Gaah! Nature! Get it off me!

It's not that I don't like nature. Actually, I love it. I can do the camping thing, I function just fine doing the hiking thing and the roughing it thing. I love the great outdoors, the fresh air and all that other stuff. But it has to be on my terms. I can stand for cooking on the grill and going fishing and sleeping in a tent and whopping it up and having a great time, sure! But I can't do it at one of those places that doesn't have access to running water. THAT'S my hang up. I need to be able to shower and feel human, otherwise, I get a little cranky to say the least. Everything else, I'm pretty hip to. Roasting bugs and grubs and small rodents doesn't really bother me. They're actually quite tasty when you prepare them right. And there's something rather serene and nice about sleeping under the starts and hearing the sounds of the woods at night too. Maybe a nice breeze through the tree tops.... :sigh:
If there are bugs flying around me, I'm going to go sleep in the car though!

No internet.....

There are times when I find that I have no internet, like the weekends spent at Lucky's condo. It took a little getting used to, but it is rather liberating at the same time. It's actually kind of nice. Actually interacting with real live people and having face to face conversations with people. As a joke I will poke Lucky just because, but it ends up turning into a whole silly game that leads to other stuff and that can be fun as well...
I limit the time my kids spend on the internet as well. Sure they get a little cranky about it, but I want to make sure that they know that there is a whole big world outside of cyberspace and I want them to be able to experience it for real. The internet has opened so many doors and you can do things that you've never really thought were possible, but it also closes off so many avenues and I feel as if kids these days are missing out on so much life out there.
For the time being, I get the eye rolls and the exasperated sighs, but someday they'll thank me for it. It's what I hold onto in the hopes that I am helping them to grow up to be well centered self sufficient people as they grow. In the mean time, I am the internet nazi.... Yay me..... :s

I threw up in my mouth a little....

I've seen this picture along with a couple of others (same guy)... I'm at a loss here. Does he think the knives, guns (are they even real?) and guitars make him look cool? Maybe the long hair and Speedo? This is a sickness. Seriously! It is! I am doubting that this guy knows how to play the guitar and I don't think he knows how to run a pistol either. Even if he could do both, he's still a fat, hairy, ugly bastard with no chance of ever getting laid, and that's probably his mom's basement anyway. I just needed to comment on this picture because these are yet another type of people I like to mock. The guy took this picture thinking, "I am a SEXY BEAST!" and now all the world can be out there laughing their right foul heads off.

On the other hand, I wonder if there is a someone who thought, "I'd hit that!".... I don't know what's scarier at the moment....

Then there's the person behind the camera who agreed to help take the picture.... 

Edgar.....

I stopped watching the second they killed Edgar...

GAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

It's officially THAT time of year again.... This day marks the beginning of "the year end holidays.... The time of year I HATE the most. The Christmas crap is already put on the shelves and the "holiday shopping" stuff has to start and my BAH HUMBUG mood is back. Yippee!
Someone wake me when it's April...... Just make sure to wake me for the holiday noms. JUST the noms part....

Happy Halloween!

It's that time of year again! Four kids to dress up, take around to houses and FOUR KIDS WORTH OF CANDY IN THE HOUSE..... Blaaaaaaaah...... As much as it is my favorite holiday, it isn't either with all the candy.... Unless it's caramel. Then it's okay...

HAPPY HALLOWEEEN!!!!

Time to get my Halloween costume on. Fine... It's a t-shirt that says, "This is my Halloween costume." on it but still.....

Happy mischief night!

Happy mischief night to one and all! I'll be sitting by the door tonight armed to the teeth with my own eggs and toilet paper should any of the neighborhood punks decide to get stupid and "mischief" the house.... ALWAYS a fun night for everyone! Ooh.... I'm gonna go fill up the Super Soakers too...... With canned tuna juice..... :)

Asleepies.... Again....

Yawn..... STRETCH.... Blaaaaaah..... Nope.... Kids are away, me go back asleeps... Come back tomorrow.... ZZZzzzzzzz......

Cussin'.....

I do my best to try and curb my language around little ones. There are the obvious ones that shouldn't be said around kids: shit, fuck, cunt, cocksucker and variations of those words. The there are the ones that are kind of questionable..... Like, I use the words "crap" and "hell" a lot when I'm talking. "Dick" is another one that I'll use, like, when I'm driving and some guy cuts me off. Sure I'd like to use other choice words to express my disdain (although I HAVE found that sometimes there just aren't enough explicit words in my vocabulary to fully express what I'm thinking...), but "dick" is the one I keep handy, especially when the kids are in the car with me. 
I also start making up words too, much to my children's amusement. Well, hell, it keeps me calmer. How can you be angry around the sound of children's laughter?  We've come up with some pretty good ones. Some of which have gotten incorporated into our "lingo". It all works out. 
I know that some will argue that "curse words" are bad and all, and like I said, I do try and avoid the REALLY "bad" ones, but quite honestly, children in general have probably heard a lot worse in the halls of their school or on the school bus. I guess it's a thing for some folks. Me? I just think it gives the "words" more power if you put the taboos on them. My kids know that "those words" are not to be used lightly nor are they to be used in public, just because. 
Shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cocksucker, mother fucker, tits. Ahhhh.... I feel better now that I got them all out.

When did we get to THIS time of year? Seriously? Where the hell does the time go? No, I'm serious! It feels like there are times that time seems to stand still, but a few days later, it all went by in the blink of an eye... WTF?
So, I must have blinked and I now am coming to realize that we have gotten to the "year end holiday" portion of the year once again. I get to have my HURRAY on my favorite holiday (Halloween) before I get hammered with all the rest of my LEAST favorite holidays (like Christmas. I HATE Christmas....) :grumble: Crap! It's time to do the holiday blitz and pray I survive the next few months again isn't it.... Why is it that we don't hibernate again? :s

Monday? Again??!??

What do you mean it's Monday again! Didn't we just have one of these last week? GAAAAAH! Fine! I'm up.... If I don't do it, it won't get done. And I can't have that.... Pfft!

Ahhh.... SWEET vengeance!

Exacted vengeance is ALWAYS a fun thing, kind of satisfying and if it was well deserved, it always brings a smile to my face. Well planned and organized vengeance that takes a long amount of time is satisfying, but it doesn't relieve the instant gratification that I seek sometimes. Call it karma, but there are times when the "instant gratification" comes without my having to do anything at all. Karma rocks sometimes. :D
This time, I win and you lose. You deserved it. And I deserved to watch it happen to you. I will blog about it. Oops, I kinda already did, didn't I..... :giggle:

Chillin'......

I'm thinking it ought to be a lazy Saturday. Kick back and relax and chill kind of Saturday. As much as I like to toss the kids outside to burn off energy and calories, there are just some times when I like to sit and be. A jammie wearing lazy day that involves extended TV time, "big boy" breakfast, some junk food, and now that it's cooler out, some hot cocoa with the marshmallows..... Yup.... This is going to be awesome. I can feel it. :)

I hate mornings.....

It's one of THOSE mornings again... I didn't WANT to get out of bed. I DID, but I didn't WANT to. I just want that on the record. That I DID, but didn't want to. Because if I DIDN'T, nothing would have gotten done and that would be bad.

Sibling spats...

They happen all the time simply because of the close quarters living situation. The sibling spats... There's four kids taking up three bedrooms and although for the most part, they all get along, that is not the case all the time. Someone loses patience with someone else and push comes to shove. Tempers flare, the whining and screaming come next and then..... :sigh:
I usually let it go for a little while and listen carefully to their interactions. Sometimes they resolve on their own. Other times I have to get involved. What I generally like to do is go in hard and dispense quick justice and be done. At least in that way, they work the rest out on their own and we go back to having peace in the queendom once again. Yes, I have to do it often in a given day, but the point is, I try to make sure that I quiet the situation down enough so that they do learn to work things out on their own. That's the beauty of the siblings thing really. I hope that some time in the near future, they will be able to look back on these years and laugh about them and be able to be the best of friends when they are older.... Those are my hopes. In the meantime, You'll have to excuse me. It's first thing in the morning and we have a "snot burger", a "stupid head" and a "lint licker" in our midst that I have to go deal with before breakfast........

The annoying thing....

I don't know what possesses me to do it sometimes, but I do. The annoying thing. I've always been quite good at it too. I mean, not that it's a difficult thing to do. Finding someone's weakness and exploiting it is fun. Pushing someone's buttons and watching them as their eye starts to twitch and the vein in their forehead starts to throb is awesome and can cure boredom. Yes.... It's a quirk.....

Oops, my bad?

My "spaz moments" leave me needing to apologize for a lot of things. Bumping into people, knocking things down, tripping on things, falling on other things.... It's awesome to see me in action. If I'm having a particularly bad day, things REALLY get interesting. Not only am I spaz, but a certain aura or spaz energy gets emitted and zaps everyone around me too. It causes a chain reaction of spazzing out, much like the theory of spontaneous human combustion, three to seven people down the line. It''s quite a sight to witness, so I've been told. I think maybe perhaps I need to come with my own warning label or sign or something....

Otis, the Super Evil Genius?

I have often wondered what Otis does when he is left to his own devices. There have been times I thought to myself that maybe perhaps he's not as stupid as I think he is. What if it is the case that he's just pretending to be the idiot I believe him to be. Maybe perhaps he IS plotting to take over the world or something. Maybe this "Otis is stupid" thing is all just a ruse. Allowing us to be comfortable with the fact that he's an "idiot" so that we don't suspect him of anything and don't expect anything from him. It's the greatest alibi in the history of forever! He would be able to achieve world domination within a couple of years.... But then why hasn't he done it yet? He was probably waiting for the right time. If you think about it, the way the world is right now, it wouldn't be too hard for a super mega evil genius to topple governments, would it? Start destroying the bigger cities, leave the world in BIGGER chaos, taking over and reshaping the world in his own image, creating an evil empire.... Wait a second.... Never mind. He's eating a used tissue, got yelled at for it and beaned his head into the door jamb trying to make his escape out of the bathroom... I think the world is safe...


Or IS it?

More stupidity....

Come on. We all have certain individuals in our lives who never cease to amaze and amuse us with their stupidity. You may even be seen as that individual to someone you know. Hell, I may even be seen as that individual to someone I know. Whatever. I get it.
There are certain types of stupidity that always make me laugh. I've described several here as I've run into it. There's always such an abundance of it and if carefully sought, they make for rather amusing anecdotes. There are other types of stupidity that can drive a person mad with frustration. There is the type of stupidity that comes from sheer brilliance (I know people who are "super genius" intelligent, but can't tie their own shoes, figuratively speaking...), the stupidity that only comes from intoxication and stupidity that comes from just being stupid. Even the WORD "stupid" has a certain ring to it.
There is temporary stupidity. Everyone suffers from it. It happens. We're human. The one that amazes me most of all is the PERMANENT stupid. It never ceases to amaze me how these people survive. Yes, THAT'S the thing that amazes me. Every day things have the potential to kill them and yet.... Then they breed, creating MORE stupidity of the same variety...
Dang it! I was being amused by stupidity and now I'm back to being annoyed by it and it's pissing me off.... Pfft... Great!

Saturdays....

As much as I love Saturdays, I hate them too. Sure, it is a weekend day and there is usually chill time where it isn't schedules and runaround that the weekdays bring. The thing of it is, they never seem to last long enough. Yes, we get one more weekend day, but there just seems to be (to me anyway) something so precious about a Saturday. Saturday evening is probably the most enjoyable time and the most depressing time of the week for me because it's relaxed and I don't have to rush anyone and I don't have to be all schedule Nazi, but I know the close of the weekend rapidly approaches, unless of course it's a long weekend.... Monday is Columbus Day you say? WOOT! LONG WEEKEND! Saturday ROCKS!!!!!!

Another message brought to you by bacon..... Mmmmm..... Bacon......

Sort of sums it up right there, doesn't it?

A harsh reality...

The light bulb moment when your child (especially not your first) realizes that he or she is NOT the center of the universe is a pretty harsh moment. I think it happens some time around the first or second day of school. They get corralled into a room with 20 or so other kids who have, for all intents and purposes, been the "center of the universe" all their lives. Some children deal with it and accept it, then fight and claw their way back to become the center of the universe again. Others cope and deal and become followers. Some never really cope or deal and just pretend. Others will create their own little universe to be the center of. Whatever the case, it happens.
Nope.... Just a random thought really...

A simple truth...

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Fuckin' deal with it.

Ebay time of the year!

We're coming around to that time of year when people start scouring the internet for bargains and whatnot for things to give to others for the holidays. I guess that means I have to get a move on and start posting stuff on Ebay again and come up with clever and/ or sarcastic write ups for all the items I post. Sigh.... I get tons of emails about the write ups that I post with the items. A good portion of the time, it's the write ups that eventually sell the items. I guess that's my thing.
My goal IS STILL to sell at least one item in EVERY category... I still have a long way to go. In the meantime, if you're looking for the most random items or strange things, I'll have things posted shortly! Happy shopping!