Mini Vacation...

So last week was the kids' "spring break". No school for the week and so, off they went with their father for a week of fun. As it so happened, Lucky had a couple of days off during the vacay, so we spent the time together. What a treat. A few days back to back of spending the most amazing quality time together... Sigh! Nothing short of WINNING!
Puppy Guts, remember the thing? And the other thing? And the stuff... And BACON... Awesome. Thank you for the awesome week. ...Your queen is pleased... Very...

Diary of a Would-be Super Villain....

Day 1: I'm thinking of becoming an evil super villain... If I'm gonna get blamed for everything that goes wrong anyway, I might as well be able to say, "THAT was my evil plan all along! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!" At least that way, there will be some satisfaction in a success at something, then walk briskly and purposefully away with my black cape flowing behind me and billowing  around as I left...
Maybe I would even leave in slow-mo as I left the scene of chaos, without looking back to confirm it... It'd be that pop used salt instead of sugar in his coffee, but still... "Yes... It was my evil plan all along to confuse you by putting salt in the salt jar and sugar in the sugar bowl! Mwa ha ha ha ha! I have ruined your cup of coffee!" Yes... Yes, this might work...

Day 2: I suppose an evil lair of sorts , a solitary fortress, will have to be constructed somewhere far off and awesome. I was thinking a nice beach on a private tropical island... With a private gojillion square foot bugalow where I can plot out my evil schemes to take over the world while I enjoyed being fed grapes and mango balls... Fine! <SIGH!> I suppose for the time being, while my plans have still not come together I will be able to think about this other option later.... In the meantime, my closet will have to do for the time being... Not as cool as an old warehouse or an underground lab or whatever, but considering my current situation, I guess I don't have a choice.I'll just pushed the boxes of cute stuffed animal toys that my daughter keeps in a different corner, cover everything up with a black sheet or two, and try and get rid of the smell of mothballs somehow... It leaves me about 4' x 4' of space to work, but I suppose it will do for now...

Day 3: I worked on my evil laugh today... My "Mwa ha ha" has gotten quite sinister. I actually got the dog to notice when I tried it on him... Fine, he gave me a weird look, rolled his eyes and went back to sleep but he did notice. The little bastard! It seems he does not respect my authority and.... OH CRAP! HE HAS TO GO OUTSIDE NOW! HE'S DANCING AT THE DOOR!!!!!!! ...............I'm back. I'll have to find myself a different "evil super villain pet". The dog just seems to be mocking me and seems to take great pleasure in thwarting my "planning things"  with his incontinence!  Maybe perhaps I should look into a mutant marmoset that doen't eat, poop, or pee or anything... The dog's smug look and eye rolling is getting to be annoying... AND he just peed in my shoe... Again...Sigh!

Day 4: I need a super villain name and costume. I can't be a SUPER villain without a good name and costume. No one will take me seriously if I don't have a good name and costume. All of the greatest super villains had pretty cool costumes and stuff that were form fitting and probably made them look more buff then they were... That'd be neat, I guess, but I worry about the breathability of the material... Rashes could occur... And the wedgie factor... Eeerg! I'm thinking I might want to go with a Pepto pink fuzzy bathrobe over my pink Hello Kitty tank top, black boxer shorts and fuzzy bunny slippers. And a name... It should scream out WOMAN not to be toyed with... Someone who instills fear in many so I'm calling myself "Madam PMS-ing Mother in Law". I'll also have to come up with a catchphrase. Every good evil super villain needs a great catchphrase too... Hmm... Maybe I'll just scream maniacally... Hard for someone to come up with a good come back to that. It should leave them rendered speechless... 




Day 5: Assembling minions has been quite a challenge... It would seem that NO one wants to work for free and genetically engineering mutant minions is beyond the scope of what I'm capable of doing despite my many attempts in the basement. The hamster won't ever be the same and will never trust another Cheerios... microwaving chicken eggs did not yield the "mutant chickens" I was hoping for and feeding the dog mega doses of vitamins only gave him gas and diarrhea for a day... 
It would seem that a true evil super villain needs to be a super genius... Uh-oh... Well, crap. I wish I had known THAT! Maybe I could go to the super genius council and plead with them for more brain stuff to make happen in my brain... Oh... I needed to FINISH college? Oh, well...  Maybe I can fake it. If the POTUS can do it, it shouldn't be too difficult a task], right?




Day 6: Minions are assembled... Too bad they are all imaginary... No wonder nothing's getting done... Crap.... I've been barking orders about readying all sort of weapons that they were supposed to be helping to build... It seems I STILL don't have my super pimped out super villain ride and I have yet to come up wit my own theme song. <Sigh> this day was a waste......


Day 7: I tried to get in touch with the Super Powers Commission to try and obtain some kind of super power to use at my disposal. It wouldn't have to be a big one like super human strength or shape shifting or flying or even telekinesis or something. Maybe "warm" vision" or being able to call forth a herd of bunnies at my command or precision booger flicking right into the eye, You know... Start small and perhaps work my way up to something cooler. Yeah... No. Apparently it's a pretty ELITE group... Pfft! Well, they didn't need to keep laughing at me! Even AFTER I left the doors... and the building! Yeesh!


Day 8: No one is taking my threats of taking over the world seriously. I would have thought that someone would have at least perked up a little when I "Mwa ha ha"-ed and threatened to take over the world. You know... A "super hero" type that would have responded to me with an "Oh no you don't!" or something... How can I be a proper super villain if I don't have a super hero to be my nemesis? I thought the maniacal screaming and sinister "Mwa ha ha ha ha!" would have brought it all home, but I got nothing. I just got a few funny looks at the grocery store... Maybe perhaps I should have found an alternate venue to reveal my wicked plan for world domination...And planned it out a little better... :s




Day 9: Okay... So, becoming a super villain is proving to be far more difficult than I thought... Never mind then... I think I'll just stick to my original plans of becoming the Supreme Royal Highness and Ruler of Everything... Seems more realistic a goal anyway and I quite like the title.

Our Thai Place...

We don't get out to eat much simply because we don't have time. With our schedules being what they are, Lucky and I are "meals at home" type people. When it is that we do have a quiet night and we get to go out to eat, this is where we end up. I can sum it up in one word.  YUMMY!
I don't think we've ever gone in there and thought, "The food was... Off today..." or thought "Meh, it was okay...". It was consistently yummy every time! Veggies cooked to perfection and not all limo and soggy, yummy goodness abound with every plateful of deliciousness... There has never been anything that we've eaten that we didn't like.
Do we have out favorites? Of course! My meal of choice always starts with a Thai iced tea and spring rolls. Then it's either the spicy garlic shrimp (which is ALWAYS MORE awesome the next day) or the beef basil. Tastiness abound! The clouds part, the angels sing, and God's light shines down from the heavens... It's yummy.
So here's the deal-e. If your in my neck of the woods, in CT and you like-a the Thai food, go... I promise. Your tummy will be all, "You rock out loud! That was the SCHIZZ!"

That Spring Holiday...

Here we come around to another of those holidays that USED to have "religious significance" but was turned into a commercialized holiday about bunnies and candy and baskets and junk and stuff. Don't get me wrong. My kids get the baskets with the colored eggs and chocolates and bunnies and stuff and junk, but I think it's important for them to know the REAL significance of what Good Friday and Easter really are.
Obviously, I am not exactly the greatest source of biblical knowledge. That's why I am thankful that my children do have people that they can go to. I will never begrudge my children the "spirit of the holidays" and stuff, but I think they should know that the REAL significance of these religious holidays and not just because they get days off from school and get stuff. I'm just sayin'...

A "Bang! Ding!" Date

Having been on a real shooting range only once and having shot hand pistols only a few times in my life, I will NEVER claim expertise. EVER. With that having been said, that was fun! I was allowed onto the firing range where  Specter Tactical was running a class (Lucky was the firearms instructor). Okay... For the most part, I sat in the sun on a tarp in the grass, enjoying a glorious day wearing ear muffs and safety glasses, but still... (As a side note, those ear muff were funny. The only noises that I heard were the sounds of me chewing gum... In my head... It was weird)
So, at one point, I was allowed to try a few types of pistols. The first was a Browning. Not too bad... I hit the thing, made it go "DING!" and yay, great. I also tried the Glock... Oy VEY! The thing kicked like a mule! And OWIE! I hit the target three or four times... After that, my hands were shaking so much from the recoil I wasn't able to hit the broad side of a barn with the rest of what was left in the magazine. I tried a little double action revolver... I couldn't pull the trigger to save my life. After Lucky pulled back the hammer, I was able to, but yeah... No. The highlight came when I tried the 1911. The thing was heavy as all get out, but it was weird. I was more accurate with that than with any other one I tried that day, my groups were tighter and Lucky said I did pretty well (and we were further back from the targets to boot). Go figure... It's hard to tell where I was hitting when I was shooting at the targets. I was only able to hear the "Ding!" sounds as I hit them. Lucky was watching where they hit and he said he was mighty impressed even though I am a noob. He said that my groups with the 1911 were "scary". Aww! It was so much fun!
On the other side of that, the raw power and the amount of devastation you can cause with a pistol and feeling it as I stood behind it squeezing the trigger, it gave me a better respect for it and I learned a thing or two. I managed to remember to keep the weapon pointed down range until Lucky took it from me and made sure that it was clear and finger off the trigger until I was ready to shoot at the targets. There's really no room for carelessness on the range and everyone there had a great respect for that. I think it's important that anyone who is carrying, whether it's for work or for personal protection should be as well trained as they could possibly be. But that's just my opinion.
I can see how it wouldn't be the kind of thing for everybody to do as a hobby. For one thing, it's expensive as hell. The cost of ammo... Well, apparently, it isn't cheap. I found that out when I got a couple of boxes of .45 ACP for Lucky for Valentine's day. (Nothing says love like ammo.) The different types of guns that showed up that day weren't exactly cheap either. Range fees and paying for the class... Add it up and I have to tell you.... It ain't a hobby for the financially challenged.
Another thing is, it's not exactly something some would be comfortable with. Whether it be fear of the weapon or the loud noise or whatever it is. Just like rock climbing or bungee jumping isn't for everyone, shooting goes the same way.  It's a preference.
The people who showed up to this particular class were really cool and very nice. Sure, I'm the instructor's girl and all, but they didn't treat me like a noob even though I am. I was so proud of Lucky being all professional and teaching a class and being all "instructor" like. It was neat to watch him go about doing his thing. Tee hee hee... Being all teacher-y and instructor-y and shooting and commanding and stuff... <Sigh...> Nice...
Even though it wasn't like we were spending the day together, we spent the day together and it was nice. I have to say, it was a very cool "date" and I had a lot of fun. A great weekend... Thank you, Puppy Guts!

I'm supposed to care because?

...I'm sorry... I was so busy with my own life,   I forgot to give a shit about yours... Now... What are you whining about now? ...Uh, huh.... Uh, huh... Okay! Never mind! I stopped caring after you opened your mouth... You can shut the fuck up now and go away. Buh-bye.

Our POTUS...

In 1952 President Truman established one day a year as a "National Day of Prayer."

In 1988 President Reagan designated the First Thursday in May of each year as the National Day of Prayer.

In June 2007 (then) Presidential Candidate Barack Obama declared that the USA "Was no longer a Christian nation."

This year President Obama canceled the 21st annual National Day of Prayer ceremony at the White House under the ruse Of "not wanting to offend anyone".


BUT... on September 25, 2009 from 4 AM until 7 PM, a National Day of Prayer FOR THE MUSLIM RELIGION was Held on Capitol Hill, Beside the White House. There were over 50,000 Muslims in D.C. that day.

HE PRAYS WITH THE MUSLIMS! I guess it Doesn't matter if "Christians" Are offended by this event - We obviously Don't count as "anyone" Anymore. The direction this country is headed should strike fear in the heart of every Christian, especially knowing that the Muslim religion believes that if Christians cannot be converted, they should be annihilated. This is not a Rumor - Go to the website To confirm this info: http://www.islamoncapitolhill.com

Gaaaah! Watching the news does me no good... EVER!!!

So the back story on this goes like this:
An eight-year old boy named Aidan was pepper sprayed by Lakewood, Colorado police after acting up in a classroom.
Teachers had barricaded themselves in after the second-grader threw a violent temper tantrum.
Aidan, whose last name was not revealed to protect his privacy, had torn a piece of wooden trim off the walls and was wielding it like a weapon, according to a police report filed about the incident at Glennon Heights Elementary on February 22.
He also threw a television and was threatening to kill the teachers. When police arrived, a spokesman said, they felt they had no option but use use the pepper spray on him.
Aidan told local 9 News, ‘It burned my eyes, and I couldn’t see.’
He was reportedly treated for minor skin irritation.
This was the third time police had been called after Aidan’s temper tantrums, although his mother, Mandy, is criticizing the police for what she considers excessive force, and for treating her young son ‘like a common criminal.’
According to the police report, Aidan ‘was climbing the cart and spitting at teachers. He also broke wood trim off the walls and was trying to stab teachers with it.’
‘I wanted to make something sharp if they came out because I was so mad at them," Aidan said. ‘I was going to try to whack them with it.’
After he refused to obey police, they sprayed him with pepper spray two times. He dropped the stick, and they handcuffed him.
Lakewood police are defending their actions. Aidan was placed on a ‘mental health hold’ and was transferred to a school for children with behavioral issues.
Aidan’s mother told 9 News that her son had been seeing a doctor, but has not been diagnosed with mental problems and is not on medication.
‘I have some anger things,’ the child admitted. ‘I don’t think they’re ever going to go away.’

Now, there is a HUGE difference between a TEMPER TANTRUM and VIOLENT OUTBURST... This kid has serious issues and it's only going to get worse the bigger and stronger he get. Other than the strength thing, dealing with a violent 2nd grader is really not too different than dealing with a "Travis the chimp" scenario.... The police had to shoot and kill Travis simply because of his immense strength. If Travis wanted to, he had the strength to rip off a limb or tear someones head clean from their shoulders. Aidan was not a chimp. Just a different kind of animal all together, so the force used was NOT excessive, but appropriate for what the situation called for. The kid was still a threat. Not a raging full grown male chimp, but a threat none the less. The cop didn't shoot and kill the raging little animal. They pepper sprayed him. Shooting him would have been "excessive force". No teacher OR cop should have to get stabbed because the threat they were dealing with was a child.

Shame on the mom for not recognizing that her child HAS MAJOR ISSUES! A temper tantrum is one thing, but this kid was threatening to KILL PEOPLE. HELLLLOOOOOOOO! That's not normal! ESPECIALLY when it was NOT an isolated incident! Really? Then for this woman to go on TV or to the papers and claim that it was excessive force? The stupid cow needs to go home, shut the fuck up and learn how to deal with her kid and stop making it everyone else's problem in dealing with her little monster. He may have been enrolled in a school for kids with "emotional behavioral issues", but the school shouldn't have to deal with violent attacks. Neither should police regardless of whether their "attacker" was 8 or 108. 

NO COP in their right mind puts on the vest thinking, "You know what? I'm gonna pepper spray me an 8 year old kid today!" They don't know what their shift is going to bring. They strap on the vest saying, "Nope... This isn't going to be the day... The vest feels good... I'm going home when my shift is done." The REAL issue here is that Mandy Elliot needs to do something other than make excuses for her son and learn how to deal. If the stupid cow had time to go touring around doing interviews about how the cops were so wrong, she had time to learn about how to deal with an emotionally disturbed 8 year old who will someday become an emotionally disturbed 10 or 15 or 20 year old. Then what? I wonder how she would have dealt if the cop HADN'T used the pepper spray and the kid charged and got in a "lucky stab" and killed the cop instead. Do you really think she'd be touring around on different "news shows" and talk shows apologizing to the cop's family?

Lady! Get a life and control that little shit of yours! At this rate he's looking at a life long career as a yet another sociopathic lunatic that you are unleashing onto the world (as if we didn't have enough of those...) and making that monster yet another problem for society (because the world needs more?)

It's official...

Pre-teen broody pants is officially now teenage broody pants. Is he broody today? Of course! I leave him to pout in his room, with the shades drawn, the door slammed shut and whatever else he does in there. Good times... Yup... Goooooood times...
Happy Birthday Broody Pants! I love you so much!

Tantrums...

Having both ends of the spectrum, be it three year old or teen, I'm not sure which is worse when it comes to the temper tantrums. Whether is comes from the three year old or the teen, neither one of them is pleasant. It sucks ass, actually. One is driven by the need for everything to be hers and everything needing to go her way or else, while the other is driven by hormones and the need for everything to be his and everything needing to go his way or else.
Loads of fun. I've given up on ever receiving my "How to deal with a Teen" handbook, super magical remote control and secret decoder ring...
On the one hand, I have the little girl who throws a temper tantrum and she screams and cries in the shrill little voice that makes your ears bleed and you feel it in your spine. She hoots and hollers and stamps her little foot for 5 to 45 minutes and done. Whatever.
On the other hand, I got teen broody boy from hell who stomps around, broods silently, gives evil nasty looks and answers in a series of grunts and other such noises and glares. It's awesome...
I think the little one is easier to deal with because all I have to do is ignore her for a little while. She calms down and done. Back to being the sweet little girl I know her to be. Teen broody pants is not. He is in a constant state of Goth/ Emo... It's pathetic.
Goosfraba... This too shall pass...

Could it be?

Is it true? Is it really spring now? I mean I realize that "spring" came in March, but for crying out loud, we were hit with snow... We got snow on April 1st... Can we emerge from our cramped shelters to start enjoying the nicer more milder weather? That'd be awesome. This cabin fever shit is starting to drive me way past a little nuts.... Here's hopin'!

Ooey Gooey Puppy Guts...

I know I post frequently about how I love my dear sweet Lucky and how much he means to me and how important he is to me in my life, but I can't help myself. The time we get to spend with each, though on some occasions seem to be infrequent and short, is something that carries us through the days and weeks and months and coming around years. Despite distance (which in the grand scheme, it's really nothing) and the little time we spend (which has always been quality and nothing short of amazing), we've managed to keep it all together and love each other more every day. I don't think there has ever been an occasion when we haven't been there for each other when one needed the other and there is never a moment that either one of us felt neglected, unwanted, unloved or not thought of and it's awesome. I never felt second to anything, I never felt as if I was an obligation, I never was made to feel like anything short of a princess. I'm still not used to it and I think it would be hard pressed for me to say that I will ever get used to it.  And yet, here I have my Puppy Guts telling me "That's the way it's supposed to be!" as he holds me close and hugs me and tells me that he loves me with everything that he is and that it would take every one of his lifetimes for the rest of eternity to show me how much he loves me, but he will show me... <Sigh...> Lovey, Lovey Lovey Gooey Goo! I love you too, Puppy Guts.... XOXOX

Yet another night with the WT crew...

Hanging out, doing our WT thing, eating cheese and crackers and just chillin' out,  My Mitchie, Lucky and I were discussing something and I'm not too sure how the conversation turned, but we started talking about Krav Maga. At one point, Mitchie said something about beating the opponent unconscious and capping them in the head. The end. Done. No more worries. Lucky mentioned taking the wallet and casing the body for any other goodies.  I don't know what possessed me to say it, but I jumped in with, "Well, wouldn't that make it Krav NIGgaH?"
It became our joke of the evening... I don't think we discussed the zombie apocalypse that evening though... Weird...

Pet Peeve... Another one...

I really don't mind when people borrow my car. If someone needs it and I don't, go ahead... I don't have too many issues with that. As long as there's gas in it when you get back, you haven't dinged it all up and it is in the same condition you left with it and don't wreck it, I don't see the problem.

With that being said though, I HATE getting into my car after my mom or my dad uses it. They mess up the whole feng shui of the car and misalign the chi of all the chakras and totally cloud up the aura of the -ness of my car. The radio is on some talk radio news something, the seat is all wrong, the vents are pointing all in the wrong directions, the steering wheel is all adjusted wrong and the settings for the radio are all messed up... I mean EVERYTHING that they could possibly futz with is futzed with. I get into my car and I'm all "GAAAAAH! What the FUCK?" Then I have to take ten minutes to get everything back to the way it needs to be.
Ya know? Yeesh!

Anger...

Anger is a concept that I have been working with my Puppy Guts on. It is such an all encompassing negativity spiral that infects and poisons everything. Anger and hate and all that crap is just not healthy. Holding onto it is even worse. We've been on a path together to try and let go of anger and hate...
Do I have my good days and bad days? Of course I do. I'm only human. But it seems my bad days aren't quite as bad any more and I find myself laughing about certain things that used to bother me a whole hell of a lot more.
People and their stupidity, situations that are beyond my control, things going on in my own backyard as well as in the world at large. Am I all Zen and love everybody? Hell no! But I am finding that I don't get the anxiety attacks I used to, I'm sleeping a lot better, I laugh a lot more and I'm happier about the things I have and don't worry too much about the things I don't.
Puppy Guts has been making slow progress, but it's still progress and I have to say, I've never been more proud to call myself his girl. It shows in the time that we spend together, it shows in the way he's living his life and it show in the way he interacts with the other people around him. He also has his good days and his bad days, but all things considered, we're still chugging along and making the best of it.
What's really awesome is that I know that it's because it IS him that I can. I've said it before and I'll say it all again: This brave soul loves me unconditionally, appreciates me for who and what I am and despite the insanity that is my life at the moment, he is a constant source of strength when I feel mine faltering, of courage when mine escapes me, of support when I feel I'm falling, of laughter when I am sad, of stability when I feel like I'm losing my mind. I always feel loved, wanted, needed, appreciated, beautiful, thought about and never forgotten whether he is sitting next to me or he's not. I never have to question how he feels about me because he let's me know everyday, he shows me every day. Isn't that the way it should be?
Sure, there are plenty of things that piss me off, but because I have all of those things in Lucky and the best kids on the face of the planet (despite the fact that they can drive me nuts sometimes), I won't give anger the power by letting it affect me.

Shhhh! I'm hiding!

I said, "Shhhhh!" I hafta go to the dentist... I don't wanna... So I'm hiding... They take courses in "You chose to be a dentist because you enjoy sadism", "How to make things hurt more", "Pointy things and how to use them to effectively cause pain", "'Fuck novacaine! You don't need novacaine! This'll only take a second!' and other lies to tell your patients", and "Advanced 'unnecessary procedures' and how to make it seem like they need it".
Okay... It's just for an x-ray and a look see for the tooth abscess now that the swelling has gone down, but still.... Then of course, there will be the scheduling of a root canal... Dun, dun, Dahhhhhhhh <Dramatic Reverb!> Although from how I understand it, it's not quite the nightmare it used to be. It might suck to be me for a couple of hours at worst and I go on about my life. That'd be awesome.
It's not that I'm a dentist pansy or anything, but I have to admit, that tooth pain thing is a friggin' nightmare. Considering the fact that I have given birth four times, that tooth pain was wretched! And I felt like such a wuss because I let the tooth pain kick my ass! But on the other hand, I couldn't help it! It sucked! It was tear jerking, nausea inducing, screaming, don't-want-to-move-lest-you-anger-the-pain kind of agony!
That weekend, percocet, Anbesol and warm compresses were my best friends, I prayed regularly at the porcelain altar, where I sacrificed the contents of my stomach countless times and Lucky was the guardian angel who stood over me and took care of me when I was in my most pathetic state EVER!
So, the thought of going to the dentist and incurring the wrath of that tooth pain again doesn't sit well with me... Shit...
Okay? So just... Shhhhhhhh! I'm hiding!


As as Post Script.... I went to the dentist and it turns out that I have a wicked sinus infection that's  fucking up the feng shui of everything else in my head. Ear, tooth, jaw, gums, and all the surrounding tissue... I DON'T need a root canal because apparently, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY TEETH or anything else except the stupid sinuses... I damn near punched the poor woman in the face when she started tapping the ouchie tooth with some metal tool of torture... Tooth pain sucks...

You never have to look too far...

I had no words when I saw this. When I tell you, "You can find just about ANYTHING for sale on the net!" I'm not kidding. This is just one of those things...

Men...

In going to the grocery store the other day, I saw the stupidity of a man who's "idiot" was spot on. I've been feeling less than 100% this last week. Between trying to fight off a cold, an abscessed tooth that kicked my ass, the meds to take care of said abscessed tooth and the day to day insanity, I will admit... This week, I am beat.
So I get to the grocery store, my nose is running, my face is still kind of puffy and red, I look a mess, I feel like crap and I have the nasally, stuffed up nose, whiny three year old tone to my voice. It's awesome.
Going across the parking lot, I came across a male individual who thought it would be a nice idea to hit on me... By making kissy noises, referring to me as "Hey, baby!" and describing the things he would like to do to me to "rock my world" and making lewd gestures. My response? I laughed. Hysterically. I mean pointing and laughing and howling. It felt great. I even thanked the guy for giving me the laugh because I had such a crappy week. He walked away quickly and quietly, without another word.
Why is it that some men feel the need to do stuff like that... Seriously... What was I really supposed to do? Swoon? I don't fuckin' think so. Has it ever worked? I would really hate to think that there are women out there who would be all over that and get all giggly and stupid and consider breeding with such losers.... But then...
The world is getting worse all the time and it seems to me that there is a HUGE need for a culling of the population. Politically incorrect to say? Perhaps. On the other side of that, I'm not exactly the most "politically correct" person on the planet either.... Just sayin'....

April Fool's Day!

It being the first of April and all, I thought I would address the whole April fools/ practical joker/ ha ha ha thing. For the most part, I don't get it. It's not that I lack a sense of humor or anything like that and I can laugh at myself better than the next guy... (If you lived a day in my life, you'd understand why I laugh so much!)
It's basically a day where you can come up with the most outrageous fib, but on this day all they have to do is turn around and say "April Fools!" and get away with it. Not amusing... And I know quite a few many people who fib about shit every day and I have to tell you, that's not too amusing either...
Meh... It's just a day like any other if you think about it... I swear on all things holy, I will knock out the next fucker that tries to shake my hand with one of those hand buzzers.  Once I plant my fist firmly into that moron's face, I'm going to turn around and say "April Fools! How'd that work out for ya, dipshit!" I hate people.

Toothache...

So I had a cold over the last week. Nothing huge, I felt like crap for a few days, but I was functioning... No big deal. The last day and a half, my tooth started bothering me. I chalked it up to being related to the sinus congestion... I was wrong. It turns out that I have a tooth that is abscessed.
You would think that something as small and stupid as a tooth wouldn't knock you on your ass, but it sucks. A trip to the ER for heavy duty antibiotics that are making me puke, percocet that barely takes the edge off the maddening pain... It's a fuckin' TOOTH for cryin' out loud, but here I am, laid out on my ASS prayin' for something...
So Friday night, I drove the kids up to their dad's for the weekend. They're having a blast... Saturday morning, at about 3 AM, I wake up to a screaming pain in my mouth. It hurt from my ear all the way down my jaw, so I started popping advil. I got nothing. Lucky was on duty so I decided to call him so that I could whine about the owie. It was sweet. He let me. AN hour later, he's at the door, insisting that he take me to the hospital.
So I go, kicking and screaming, (no not really)and the ER doc doses me full of antibiotics and a whole mess of painkillers, then prescribes gigantic horse pills for both the infection in my tooth and for the debilitating pain. (She was a hoot! ) A couple of hours later, after we pick up the script at the local 24hour CVS, he tucks me into bed where I decided that I would empty the contents of my stomach into the porcelain altar. I gingerly brushed my teeth and still fuzzy from pain meds, I forced myself to take another antibiotic and half a painkiller and fall fitfully asleep.
Some few hours later, Lucky came back to take care of the dog and watch stupid movies with me, hold my hand, brush my hair, rub my feet, scratch my back, bring me tea, go out and get me food, held my hair while I puked it all up, tried to comfort me, cut my pills, make sure that he woke me to take my meds at the right time throughout the night, and hold me while I whined and complained about how much I hurt and do anything and everything to take care of me short of taking on the pain for me, which I know he would have if he could and didn't leave my side, except to walk the dog and pick up takeout food.
With the antibiotics finally kicking in and alleviating the swelling in one half of my lower jaw and the side of my face, noms that he fed me, and my not throwing up because of the meds, I'm feeling better. I have to say that despite it was the suckiest 36 hours of my life, it also wasn't.
Thank you so much for taking such good care of me, Puppy Guts. I love you too...

I need a job...

So, in another moment of contemplation, I came to the conclusion that I need to find another means of income. A published author makes no money really and working for my dad is proving to be more stressful than its worth.
Would I like to be the next J.K. Rowling? Hell yeah I would! IS it going to happen? Pfft! No! I think my goals on this were much more realistic than the next guy's. My goal was just to be able to say, "Yeah, I did it... This one's for you, kiddos! Mommy wrote y'all a book!" and for the most part, that whole process is done. Come summertime, I will be able to slap down a copy in front of each of them and say, "There you go!"
The chances of being the next multi gojillionaire author is slim to none. I would stand a better chance trying to win lotto. Whatever... I can guarantee that there are NO sparkly vampires and NO teenage girls trapped in a love triangle (hmm... necrophilia or beastiality... Decisions, decisions...). That's probably the reason WHY I'll never make it... It's all about the zombies, werewolves and vampires now... Shit!

So... I made changes of my own...

There are those that I asked to read through the book and I appreciated their input. The there are those who I didn't and... Well, not so much in the appreciation department. I get that it's their JOB to tell me what's wrong and stuff, but at least the people who I asked were nice enough to just point it out and say something constructive instead of pointing, laughing and making me sit in the corner... Okay, maybe they didn't make me go sit in a corner, but still.
I went through the book on my own and made a few changes here and there... Just to get everything to flow a little better. Little bits here, little bits there... The thing was already 292 pages and with the little bits I added, now it's 293 pages. Whatever...
In the process, I know that there are going to be things that are cut, things that are changed, things that are rearranged... Etc.. I get it, but there are things that I'm going to change too... DEAL WITH IT! Just sayin'...

OMG! I found what I want my next laptop to look like...

I'm back... Kind of...

After a little hiatus, I have to say, blogging is much easier than writing a whole friggin' book....
I'm still going through the editing process with the book, which will be followed by the everything else process before something else happens, then it goes through something else... Graphic something or another with the design something, an author proof something and other stuff before something else happens... But the hard part is over.... Or so I'm told...
<Sigh...> It's stuff and things all over again... And I have no idea what's going on... I think I fried my tiny little mind.
But at the end of the day, I can say: DEADLINE MET, BABY!

Thanks y'all!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the people in my life who have been so patient and understanding while I went through the process of deciphering my own chicken scratch and five year old alien shorthand. I still don’t know what half of those symbols were (hieroglyphics?) and I still think “that phrase” may have been in Swahili… Thanks for keeping my spirits up and forcing me back on track when I slacked off and Facebooked when I should have been working! And thanks for not listening to my whining and complaining and making me keep on going when all I wanted to do was quit…. Even though I was crying and begging and pleading for mercy and threatening to file a restraining order while brandishing the pink fluffy pen of doom…

A few “props” to certain people who allowed me to use their concepts and ideas in the storytelling:

Richard Dimitri, creator of Senshido. A concept displayed through some parts of this book. (“It even works on monsters!”  “Seriously?”) See Rich? I did some. Now you go do some too!

For more info on Senshido, please contact Richard at:
Senshido International
P.O. Box 3133
Jasper, Alberta
T0E1E0 Canada
(514)-500-2535
http://senshidointernational.blogspot.com/
http://www.senshido.com/

Chris Adams, owner of Specter Tactical. For training and “technical advisor stuff”, because I’ve got something better than “Stuff was happening. <Describe stuff> After the described stuff, with the things <describe things>, there has to be a WOO HOO! before <Slap!> The Woo Hoo goes along with the stuff that happened with the thing. Make sure it's all WHOA!”, (an actual line in the original manuscript…) Yeah… Because, wow… When the words escaped me, yeah… Wow…

For more info, please contact Chris at:

SPECTER SERVICES, LLC
Military & Law Enforcement Tactical Training
60 River Road
East Haddam, CT 06423

860-908-0500
Email: chrisa2@earthlink.net

http://www.spectertactical.com

My friends, S., P., C., F., C.S., M.F., and T. who saw me through a lot of frustration. You didn’t make it better, but saw me through it anyway…

Bobby, thanks for reading through and helping to correct my REALLY GOOD grammar and other stuff like that. Sorry I subjected you to it… I know. Believe me… I know…

Bacon, for all the yummy goodness you provided and nourishing me with your tasty deliciousness and mighty bacon-y awesomeness.

And of course, thanks Otis, for keeping me amused and my feet warm and the room constantly smelling like wet dog… Well, maybe not so much on the last one…

I'll be back...

With the deadline looming, I'm going offline for a few... Things I have to iron out and little time to do it and all... I'll be back, I promise... I'm sittin' in my thinkin' chair right now... Unfortunately for me, the intelligence left the building and I'm left floundering in plain inane and idiotic WOO HOO! YAY! So, off I go... But I will return!

My "Official" Author Bio Page...

Mia Tanaka is a short, quirky, funny looking woman who is tolerated by her four wonderful children, her loving soulmate and her equally short, equally quirky and funny looking dog, without any one of whom which, would lead her to be a miserable, short, quirky, funny looking woman. Ms. Tanaka is well read (mostly in tabloid magazines and trash novels) and well traveled (to the kitchen and back to the desk several times during the “work day”) and is well versed in many languages (but only enough to get take out at various ethnic restaurants.)

When she is not toiling away at the computer trying hard to coherently string together enough words to make complete sentences, Mia can be found slacking off and using her social networking page, blogging about various subjects ranging from politics to navel lint (literally…), or outside playing with her children.

Mia is finding that writing about herself in the third person for an author biography is very strange and has no idea what to write about… How about this: She once got bitten by a frog. A rather rare occurrence? Um… No?

…I was poking a frog in the head with my finger and it bit me...I'm a frog poker... I'm a frog poker that got bit by a frog...

Stuff with things...

In doing the rewrite/ re-edit/ draft edit... All sorts of other crap on the manuscript that I have to get to the publisher in a couple of weeks, I have noticed that on the SUPER MEGA rough draft, I was a little less than... Thorough in my writing... It turns out that in my haste to get the ideas down on paper, I was less than descriptive and wordy than I should have been... A fine example:
Stuff was happening. <Describe stuff.> After the described stuff, with the things <describe things>, there has to be a WOO HOO! before <Slap!> The Woo Hoo goes along with the stuff that happened with the thing. Make sure it's all WHOA! Then there are some squiggly lines, a bunch of stick figures and some small circles, something that may be Swahili or Japanese (your guess is as good as mine at this point...), and of course, all in the chicken scratch that I call my handwriting.
Exhaustion has been the secret decoding device as it seems, it all makes sense when I am exhausted. The next day however, trying to read over the typed translations of the scrawlings that look more like an EKG reading during defib than actual words in addition to the hieroglyphics of a two year old, brain damaged chimpanzee, well... Let's just say my friends "shit, piss, cunt fuck, cock sucker, mother fucker and tits" have all come in very handy.
The end result? Well, let's just say, the story itself has become a whole new creation and has taken a life of it's own and it is very angry with me for whatever reason and it is trying to kill me. It taunts me and it teases me in my waking hours and haunts me when I sleep... Okay... I may be over exaggerating, but still, I can't wait to be done... So that I can get started on the second one... And THAT set of binders and notebooks and scrap pieces of paper looks worse than this one... Oh boy...   :s

Lost in thought...

There are just certain times of the day that I get lost in thought. It's the most random thing... I could be thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner and all of a sudden I go from that to contemplating navel lint or researching and developing a dust bunny breeding program... Okay. Maybe it's not "all of a sudden"... Maybe my train of thought goes from the subject of dinner to not being too hungry and wondering why... Maybe from there the thoughts wander to things that make me lose my appetite. I start listing things from certain smells or sights, to the thought of something that seems icky to me... From there I might meander into the realm of other icky things like worms and slimy things and make myself shudder at the thought of the feel and texture of sticking my hands into a tub of worms or something slimy and then laugh about it. Then have a conversation with myself about whether doing that was a quirk of mine or just something that falls into the realm of the silliness that seems to fill my life at times. From there we traverse the world of inane. That can be anything from wondering why we call 8 an eight to why I like the word "bellybutton" so much... (It's such a fun word to say... Bellybutton... Tee hee hee...) Flabammo! Bellybutton lint. Then the similarities of bellybutton lint and dust bunnies. (How do they get there?) Then how "dust bunny" sounds so friggin' cute. Then the wanting to breed something cute sounding like "dust bunnies"...
Deep thoughts? Perhaps not. Regardless, there are several minutes of any given day that intelligence takes its leave and leaves me to contemplate the stupid stuff. <Sigh!> Yeah... It IS a quirk... Damn!

Nyaaaaaaaaagofuckyerself!

"Nyaaaaaaaaagofuckyerself!" is probably the most unintelligent comeback, but I have to admit, sometimes it's just so fitting... There are just certain times when logic just doesn't work or the words just seem to escape me or there isn't enough time to be as verbally expressive as I'd like to be or nothing more really can be said, but something needs to be said anyway... Traffic incidents are the most common for me. Getting cut off, the car in front of me brakes for no apparent reason or the car in front of me just doesn't GO... It's just a thing. Nyaaaaaaaaaagofuckyerself seems to work well...

Monday again?

Didn't we just HAVE a Monday, like a little while ago? Why do Mondays have to come so fast? And so often? I'm just saying... Yeah... It's one of those...

Did you just threaten me? Yeah... I'm not feeling it...

It's cute or pathetic (I'm not quite sure where I stand yet) seeing the most non-menacing people trying to deliver a serious threat.
I had the school call me regarding my son's "bullying incident" at school. My boy had pointed out his attacker to a friend of his when they were walking down the hall just because he was curious to see who it was... Friend ended up spitting on attacker's jacket... Not nice. Funny... But not nice. I understand WHY friend wanted to do it, but still... So I get the call... Apparently, THAT would be considered "collusion" and that falls under the "bullying" category... Are you fucking serious?
It wasn't "collusion" when a group of boys chased my kid, tripped him with a chair, tackled him, punched him in the gut, and tossed him down a flight of stairs all while telling each other NOT to let my boy get away... But my kid telling his friend who pushed him down the stairs and said friend spitting on the the kid's jacket is collusion.
End result? Well, I wouldn't want to allow my son to be punished for bullying in their school, would I? That's the best they have? I'm supposed to say, "Oh, well gosh! I should drop this whole thing!" ... Yeah. I'm not feeling it.

Ah...

My time spent with my Lucky has been nothing short of amazing. It has nothing to do with anything but the quality of time that we've been spending with each other. It's not all about the violating the snot out of each others' personal space(although quite enjoyable), but we are finding that living, loving and laughing and being completely immersed in the moments we are together has been... Nothing short of life altering. Filling our lives with the positives instead of wallowing in the negatives especially when it comes to us moving forward and following the path of the rest of our lives has been a slow process. We still have our moments of self pity and negativity, but they are becoming so trivial. We are coming to find that instead of lamenting the things we don't have, we should be celebrating the things that we do. Instead of worrying about the people who don't matter, we have filled our lives with those who do. Instead of concentrating our energies on hating and being angry, we surround ourselves with love and laughter and life. He has his bad days and so do I, but with the love and support that we give each other and the same love and support that we are receiving from friends and family, moving forward doesn't seem so hard to do any more. How weird is that?
It's been such a strange journey, getting to this point. It took quite a bit of effort and some deep down soul searching, a painful excursion, by every definition, but I'd rather pave this new path in positives to keep moving forward than negativity.
There are so many people that I have to thank for this new realization. Some are rather unexpected really, but in seeing what I don't want to be, it makes it easier to see what I DO want to be.
I am chugging along... August 2011 is coming up fast... I've given myself a deadline to see where I'm going to be by then and regardless of what the outcome, there is plenty that I can honestly say, "You know what? Mission accomplished!" and I'm okay with that. Moving forward does feel good. :) Thanks for coming with me, Lucky! XOXOX

Huh?

There are times when I sort of listen in on conversations simply because there's nothing else to do. Sometimes, the conversations are about politics where I may agree with something someone said or they start some idiot's rant about how our president is doing a great job with his hope-y, change-y shit. Sometimes the conversations have to do with a movie or a tv show... Stuff about things in the tabloids, something in the newspapers (sometimes, it's the same difference really... Just sayin'...). It could be about anything, but regardless of what it is, CONTEXT is kind of important.
Sitting down in a dentist's office waiting room, a woman was on her cell. There really was no avoiding hearing the conversation. She was loud and right there. Great...
So her end of the conversation was something like this...
"So if you put it in and leave it there, it won't work.  If you put it in and just move it around, sometimes it works. If that doesn't work, take it out and put it in again. Just keep doing that until something different happens... You'll see what I mean!"
I guess I was looking at her all weird and she said to me, "Oh, I'm talking to my son..." 
I raised up my hands in the universal, "I don't want to know, I don't need to know..." gesture and went to see about how much longer my daughter and I were going to have to wait in the waiting room.
"Well, I'm sorry your girlfriend is getting bored... Are you doing what I'm telling you?"
I wanted to do the "plug my ears and LA-LA-LA!", at this point...
"Well, what do you mean it 'feels funny'? Get your brother to help you out with it! He knows what he's doing! He's done it hundreds of times! Or better yet, let him do it. You can watch and you'll know how to do it next time..."
I wanted to climb up a wall or just go running out of there with my daughter in tow and just never go back.
"Well, do you feel it? ...It should go in... Where are you trying to put it? ...Well, try the other one!"
I'm singing songs with my daughter at this point. Loudly AND badly... It was wrong. American Idol's worst were even offended, but it was all I could do...
I went in for the appointment before I had to hear any more. Thank GOD! I'm going to tell myself that it was something like a tv plug or a cable wire or something and KEEP telling myself that it was something benign like that... The alternative is just too disturbing...

Wii time...

The Wii is one of the coolest and most addictive thing on the face of the planet... I don't care what anyone says... It's just fun. There are certain games on the Wii that are just plain good ol' fun.
Getting up out of your  seat and playing a video game? Shyah! Great fun! We've been Wii-ing for a few years now. Just Dance had been a great one! Trying to dance like the people on the game? Good times! Nothing like getting a bunch of people together to look like idiots doing super silly dances, although we got the occasional ringer who actually DID know how to dance in the mix, screwing up the feng shui of the spazzing out the rest of us were doing...
Simple games like Wii bowling and Wii baseball and Wii carnival games? Well, surviving the winter in New England and the weather just WON'T permit one to go outside and play, I guess the next best thing is pretending to play some outdoor games... Sure it's better playing outside and running around in the sunshine and crap, but you know what? The Wii is fun.  That's right. I said it. It is FUN!
Watching the kids Guitar Hero is always great fun... Them rockin' out to tunes that I loved in my youth... It was TOTALLY amusing to see a 4 year old with a guitar/ remote kickin' ass on Walk This Way or Rock You Like a Hurricane...
The kids have learned about respecting "the clobber zone" and to stay well away from it, making them more aware of what's going on around them. And of course, we've learned the all important lesson of making sure that the straps are securely around the wrists at all times! I don't think grandma's porcelain bunny is ever going to be the same though... Oops...

Mo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-om!

The pre-teen still has moments where he seems less than pre-teen-like and more four-year-old-esque. Oh, don't get me wrong, he'll still brood and throw temper tantrums and stomp around... Wait... Four-year-olds do that too...
Anyway, he was sitting on the john the other day, lights off, door ajar... Naturally, I didn't think there was anyone in there when I went in to put the freshly laundered towels into the linen cabinet... The high pitched squeak that he emitted was funny. Then,
"Mo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-om! I'm POOPING!"
Cheese and crawl kid! Shut the door next time! And light a freakin' match, will ya?

Because I said so!

Who hasn't used this line at one point with their kids... When all else fails and logic seems to escape the child and no amount of explanation can get the understanding needed to make sure that the child understands it was their bad...
What other recourse is there?
I know that the pre-teen is going through a period in his life where he is trying to feel out his own and become a true individual, making his own rules and living his own life, but still... There are certain things that, as a parent, you still need for them to understand. First and foremost, "I am the parent and you will do as I say, ding dang it!"
Mine certainly does not understand it. He will rebel at every opportunity. I guess it's just a thing. What can I say? I will still try and remain as steady and true and try to be as constant and consistent as possible. Some day he will come to understand and maybe even appreciate the effort I put in to make sure he grows up straight and strong... Right? :)

And I though I was an idiot...

There are times when I question my own intelligence... I've done stupid things and thought back on the moment and said, "Wow! THAT was stupid!" But then there are times when I come across people that make me look like a super genius. I mean Ultimate Super Villain type super genius.
Rich, poor, cultured, uncultured, good, bad, well educated, or not... Stupidity is something that does not discriminate. Hey! Just take a look at the government officials that we have in office all across the country or stop by your local grocery store... Idiots can be anywhere.
Now, this is probably something that I give way too much thought to... (No! Not you Mia! You don't ever do that!) Yeah, yeah I do. I know that there is a certain type of hopeless futility in trying to reason out WHY people are so fuckin' stupid. There is also a certain sinking feeling that comes with the realization that these morons are everywhere. If I just stuck to finding amusement in watching the stupidity occur, I might be okay. If I gave no thought to anything other than watching, thinking, "Ha ha! That was funny!", pointed and laughed and went about my merry little way, I wouldn't be half as frustrated about the amount of stupidity in the world. Yeah... Still working on the whole "I can change myself for the better, not everyone else" thing and learning to set the proper example instead of being claimed by the stupidity that people tend to get sucked up into. I have enough on my plate and there's plenty of room in the garbage heap to scrape the unnecessary bits off of my plate to make room for the positives that I am striving for. Although I don't think I'll ever be able to NOT find amusement in the stupidity of others and the stupid things that they do. It's a thing with me...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Dearest Lucky,
Happy Valentine's day, My Sweet Puppy Guts! I love you to tiny little bits and pieces that squish! XOXOX
With love,
Your Kitten Puddles
Always

GTFO!

There are certain days when I wish I could just hire someone to follow me around just to tell people to get the fuck away from me or get the fuck out of my way.Just for a day. It would certainly save me a lot of grief and hassles as well as the frustration of having to do it myself. Then to top it off, there is a certain degree of entertainment watching someone getting told off by someone else... There was this one time where I watched someone telling himself off, but that's probably a whole different KIND of post all together. It was entertaining, amusing and disturbing all at the same time...
If I had the designated GTFO-man by my side, I could go about my business and have the frustration handled by someone else. I guess since I don't have a GTFO-man, I'll just have to do it myself. I guess there is a certain satisfaction to handling my own battles by myself. <Sigh!> Just another something I gave way too much thought to... Really.

Not a morning person...

I've been spending time in the morning before everyone else gets up as "contemplation time". It's dark and quiet and it gives me the opportunity to sort out my shit before the day begins. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be a lazy sack sometimes and stay in bed and have the only exercise I get for the day be rolling around in the bed to find another comfortable position to fall back asleep in. It's getting a little bit easier to do mornings because I actually get to ENJOY the first cup of java instead of slugging it down between periods of chaos...
Nope, I still wouldn't consider myself a "morning person" and I doubt that I will ever become one, but I guess it doesn't have to be so bad...

Long weeks...

Seven days makes up a week... I know that... But there are weeks that seem to drag on forever and the weekend just doesn't come soon enough. This has been especially true with the rotten weather we've been getting this past winter. Never know what the day is going to bring. It makes it difficult to schedule anything for the kids and myself when the weather becomes a huge factor. Rearranging a schedule for five can be daunting when the schedule is sometimes crammed full. Then it becomes a matter of having a week where the weekend can't come soon enough AND there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish all the things that need to be done. How does that work, you ask? I don't even know myself.
When it's all said and done and everything that needed to be accomplished for that week is done and I look back on the week, it never seems so bad. I don't get how that works either. Somehow, I get through it though and I guess that's what matters. I got the shit done.

Cheese and crawl!

Oh, the drama!
Living with a preteen is melodrama at its best. Everything is a cause for mood swings, brooding, pouting, stomping around and ultimately storming to the bedroom and slamming the door shut, then plugging into the iPod or the whatever and listen to broody, cranky preteen music and whine about the injustices of life. Good times. I've gotten a lot better at gauging the different levels of pre-teen angst and I can read the different stages of where on the brood-o-meter we are almost at any given time... I'm still waiting for the secret decoder ring and manual though... Sure could use it...

Just giggle and smile...

It's always great to be able to point out someone else's stupidity without saying a word. The giggle and smile says all. They know. You know. And both parties acknowledge that the other knows they know. Good times.
At a parking lot the other day, I was parked next to some idiot. We were both unloading the carts and putting our groceries into our cars. I couldn't fit any more into the back of my car and the cart guy was going around collecting carts. So, I closed the back door and started to push the cart towards the guy collecting the carts. The moron next to me went off on a tirade saying that I was stealing his cart and taking the rest of his groceries. I gave him the standard "WTF are you talking about?" look.
(And of course, I'm a "stupid bitch", AGAIN!) He went all, "What are you doing you stupid bitch? That's my cart! You're trying to steal all my shit! That's MY cart!"
So, I had to point behind him to where "his" cart was and say, "You mean, that one?"
I guess he forgot where he put his damn cart or I don't even know... Maybe I should have kept it at a stifled giggle... Maybe I shouldn't have pointed and howled. He knew, I knew... He went back to loading up his car, I got into mine to leave with a smile on my face... I'll take my humor and laughs where I can get them.

Aaachooo! Again...

Sneezing has proven to be dangerous for me... Especially the really big ones. The whole body sneeze that convulses everything unintentionally... The epic sneeze. Damn near knocked myself unconscious last time...
This time, I was well away from the kitchen... No counters to bang my head on... No refrigerators to crash into... The only casualty were some groceries... Or so I thought until the next morning.
Everything hurt. My back, my neck, my stomach... I don't get it. It's either that I need to work out more because I can't handle sneezing or my epic sneezes are so freakin' EPIC that they cause soreness, aches and pains... I don't know which is more sad to me right now... <Sigh...>

Monday cometh...

It's not even 5 in the morning yet and the house is still quiet so I don't count it as being Monday yet... There is still the warm and fuzzy sensation that comes with being half asleep still. Quiet, dark and there is still peace. All is still right in the world. Nothing has gone wrong yet.
This is when I take a moment to be thankful for these little moments. Then I take the time to think about all the other things I can be thankful for. It has been quite a therapeutic experience. Just taking a bit of time at the beginning and the end of the day. The beginning of the day would start with being hopeful for the things I can continue to be thankful for and hopeful that I might have something else that I might be thankful for. My kids, my Lucky, friends and family, and all the basic essentials. I take the time out to be thankful for my kids' sakes. They have both their parents that love them and we are doing our best for them. Separately, but at the end of the day, the kids know that they are loved, they feel safe and secure in knowing that we are there for them and despite OUR differences, they come first. My kids still have ALL FOUR of their grandparents and all the extended relatives.They have their friends. They are loved, safe, healthy, happy and have everything that they need. All things that I can ultimately be thankful for.
At the end of the day, its decompressing and getting rid of the "crap" the day brought and going back over and sifting through the positives.Those are things that no matter how hard anyone tries, they can't take them away from me.
Some days are better than others, but I have to admit, getting rid of the bag of bricks, even one brick at a time, has been uplifting. I'm coming along. I doubt I'll ever find "peace", but something close will do.
No worries, mind you. I'm still going to be grumpy and stupidity will still amuse the snot out of me and I'll still be as quirky as ever. I think I have a clearer view of "my path" although I'm sure I'll still be distracted by the many things that cross this path. Oh, and of course shiny things. And chickens... The lives ones... They walk around all funny... I find it amusing. It's a thing.
In the meantime, Monday approaches and thus starts another week of the usual hustle and bustle of life. <Sigh!> Hurray work! At least I have something to do! Hurray the kids will be cranky and I'm sure there will be a moment or two that they will try my patience to its limits! But they are healthy, beautiful, happy (for the most part) children and they are really the coolest kids on the face of the planet. Roof, food, clothes, warmth... All the things that we need and even a few that may not necessarily be necessities, but we can be thankful for them none the less.
Ain't too much wrong with that...
Tick... Tick... Tick... Thus ends the "It's not Monday yet" moment and Monday comes screaming forth with the annoying, ear splitting <BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!> of the stupid alarm clock. <Sigh!> Yay! Monday! Bring it on!

Lawns...

Some people get absolutely CRAZY about their lawns. I once lived in a three family house. My apartment was on the lower level. The guy next door was one of those crazy lawn guys. During the spring, summer and fall, he'd be out there mowing the lawn, watering it, be all on hands and knees weeding it... He must have spent a fortune on the maintenance and all the crap that he bought for it. I have to admit it, it looked beautiful. Green, plush... It was amazing. And NOBODY was allowed on it. EVER! If he were allowed to sit out on his front porch with a shotgun, he would have. You just don't go near his fuckin lawn. Apeshit couldn't even accurately describe what he became if you so much as touched a blade of grass in his front yard. The string of obscenities and threats... It was quite amusing.
So, lawn dude had a dog. An old, overweight beagle that barked at everything... ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME! I don't think the dog ever shut up. Now, lawn dude, being all obsessed with his grass never allowed his dog to "go" on the lawn that he meticulously kept. He brought the dog to where "our yard" was. We asked him not to, but he denied it despite the fact that we watched him do it. "Nope, I have my own yard for the dog to do his business!"
Granted, none of us really cared too much about the lawn and if it got TOO long, one of us would mow it and that would be that. None of us really took the time to maintain the lawn or do anything beyond mow it from time to time. It was just the point.
Enter golf clubs. In the summer time, if you waited long enough, the shit would dry up in the heat and sun. In the fall, if you waited until early morning, they'd be cold enough to be solid and in the winter... Well, duh! None of the residents in "my building" had dogs so why did we have to deal with the dog shit? We made a game of it. The golf club sat out on the front porch for anyone who noticed a poo in our yard...
Lawn dude went NUTS! He hated seeing the poop on his lawn, but wouldn't confront any of us because he'd basically be admitting that he let his dog shit on our lawn. I mean why would his lawn be free of shit and ours covered with it? Even after I moved it continued. A year and a half this continued... Lawn dude continued to let the dog shit on "our" lawn and it was "golfed" back over onto his with a nine iron. He even tried to steal the golf club from the front porch... Thank goodness for the creaky second step and the squeaky screen door to the front porch! Yeah... It continued on until the dog died...
I've never really understood people getting all crazy about their lawns... I chalk it up as one of THEIR quirks... Not too much I can do about it.

The Internet...

Traversing the internet is always... Interesting. You never know what you're going to find. I mean seriously. You can type in the most random combination of words and in .09 seconds, a gojillion pages pop up  relating to the words you typed in.
I have learned quite a bit about a lot of different things. I have come across recipes, learned about different cultures, seen pictures of places that I may never be able to get to in my lifetime. I have found friends that I had lost touch with, I have found hard to come by items that you wouldn't necessarily find anywhere else. It's quite the great little tool. The world does seems a little bit smaller when it can be right there at your fingertips... An hour of your time and it's the poor man's vacation really... Fruity drink in one hand, flip flops on your feet and a goofy shirt and hat and surfing through websites about the Bahamas. Culture, food, pictures of pretty beaches... Might as well have fun with it...
But beware... There is stuff out there that will make you regret ever being born too... I mean sick, twisted shit that makes you want to gouge out your own eyes, and make you want to perform a lobotomy on yourself with a red hot poker and a claw hammer, just to erase the images that burn themselves into your mind... Harmless searches like Google-ing "cookie recipe" and you can hit the jackpot with some pretty weird shit. Cookie recipe on Google, 15-20 pages in, and things start getting less then cookie recipe like. I came across one and in the desciption was listed "chocolate chip, oatmeal, oatmeal raisin, rum, white chocolate macadamia, almond..." It listed a bunch of different kinds of cookies and qualified it with, "Best recipes ever! Award winning!" So I clicked on it...
Let's just say, what was seen can never be unseen...

Because I don't have enough to deal with...

Just when I think I have everything typed up and in order and I'm satisfied with it, I move on, but when I go back to it, I find that I make more changes and have to go back through the process all over again... I've got about  twenty chapters to finish typing up, then re-writing and editing, then going back through... Blah, blah, blah... I get calls from the publishing place from time to time... "Is it finished? When will you be able to submit your manuscript?" Despite the fact that I have another two months left before "deadline". I hate typing and I really suck at it because hunt and peck is the only method I know, some of the keys keep popping off the keyboard and get lost... Always a fun time I assure you! And of course, life is happening all at the same time.
Things are hectic and crazy, but it feels good. I've taken a hiatus from the Ebay thing and concentrating my efforts on my children and getting this book typed up and the manuscript sent out. They figure, if I meet the deadline, the book will be "on the shelves" this summer...
As if I didn't have enough on my plate, I always have to go out of my way to seek out the stupidity of others, simply because it amuses me. We've all run across that moment, either watching the news or seeing it happening right in front of you... Blatant stupidity that merits a moment of witnessing simply out of morbid curiosity. I've thought to myself plenty of time, "No fuckin' WAY that person is stupid enough to... Wow! He did it... I guess he WAS that stupid..." What's really scary is that, you never have to look very far to find stupidity. There's an abundance of it out there and it's not even a matter of knowing where to look.
It's like looking for shooting stars out in the countryside. If you look in one direction long enough, you are bound to see one... It's the same with stupid people doing stupid things. You find a likely area and just watch. It'll happen.
Some of these moments are noteworthy. Other times it would maybe merit a giggle and we move on. Some might get the face palm and the head shake of disgust. Some might get the laugh and sigh. Some might get a mere glance and "Meh! Not worth my time..." Then there are the ones where you point and laugh out loud, bust out your cell phone to take pictures and send them out to everyone in your contacts, post the picture on Facebook, write a blog about it and joke and laugh about it for years to come...<Sigh!> Quirk... What can I say? I'm keeping this one.

Groundhog Day...

Happy Groundhog Day...
With that being said, I swear on everything that I hold dear and holy, if that vermin sees his shadow and hides out for another six weeks, predicting more of this winter shit, I am going to lose my ever lovin' mind! We will be having rodent stew a la Punxsutawney Phil!

Me hibernate...

With winter being on us full force, it gets harder and harder to get out of bed. I'd much rather be snuggled in under the covers and hibernating than dealing with the snow and ice and crap, but living in New England... Well, I guess it's kind of hard to avoid the snow and the ice and the crap.I hate it!
Don't get me wrong. After the snow, the outside winter wonderland world looks beautiful, especially at night. Then reality comes screaming back with the realization that I have to shovel all that pretty looking snow off the driveway.
With the amount of snow we've gotten so far this year and the number of snow days because of it, I think my children are going to be seeing the Fourth of July fireworks from their classrooms. Its been a nightmare! We're running out of room for all the friggin' snow! There's nowhere to put it all. Now come to find out we're supposed to get hit with MORE??!?? Great...
On the other side of that, I get an extra day to hang out with the monkeys. We play, we sled, we make igloos and forts, we drink cocoa and we chill on what, otherwise, would have been just a regular day of whatever. It's sort of like a surprise holiday, so I guess it's not all bad... Dang it! Another perfectly negative rant foiled again by four rays of sunshine... <Sigh!> Fine... Maybe I like the snow a little bit.